Tseng rubbed his forehead, "Rude you are hours late! Where the hell have you been? Where's Reno?"
Rude shifted uncomfortably and held his hand firmly over the large bleeding gash in his left arm, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"This was supposed to be a simple mission and you should have been back on time! What the hell went wrong?" Tseng looked up and studied Rude carefully, noting the injuries and trying to place them, "Where's Reno?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Rude examined his profusely bleeding arm, "Got anything I can wrap this up with?"
Tseng dug through his desk and pulled out a first aid kit. He set it in front of Rude and watched as he worked to keep what blood he had left inside his body, "What happened?"
Rude quickly tied off the strip of gauze he was wrapping around his arm, "Chopper crashed."
"Again?" Tseng growled in frustration, "That's the third time this month! If you two keep going through helicopters like this I'm going to start making you use bicycles instead." Tseng paced behind his desk, "Where's Reno?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Rude sighed as he tried to use medical tape to fix his sunglasses.
Tseng slammed his hands on his desk, "That is NOT and acceptable answer! Where the hell is Reno?"
Rude opened his mouth to respond when the door to Tseng's office flew open, "Where's Rude?"
Rude and Tseng looked up to see Reno standing in the doorway, his suit singed, tattered, and covered in grass stains. His face split into a wide smile and he sighed with relief when he spotted Rude, "Don't scare me like that yo! I thought you were carried off by hungry kimara bugs or somethin'!"
"I keep telling you kimara bugs don't live around here and you're stupid for worrying about it." Rude snorted as he threw his broken and tape covered sunglasses onto the desktop, giving up on fixing them. He would have to buy a new pair, again.
"You keep thinkin' that Rude. Someday you're gonna get your ass handed to you by one of them things and I'm gonna laugh!" Reno pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.
"No, you'll piss your pants." Rude sniggered and rummaged through the first aid kit.
Tseng resisted the urge to laugh at Reno's expense, remembering that he was supposed to be angry with the pair, "He scared you? Do you realize how late you are?" Tseng slammed his fist into the desk again with an angry snarl.
Reno smirked at him, "I am approximately three hours and twenty minutes late. I didn't count the seconds 'cause I know that pisses you off."
Tseng ran a hand over his face as Rude chuckled, "Where the hell have you been?"
Reno shrugged and pulled up a chair beside Rude, "In a field."
Tseng raised an eyebrow, "In a field?"
"Yup! Now ask what I was doing in a field! Come on yo, ya know ya want to!" Reno bounced in his chair like an excited child.
Tseng squeezed his eyes shut, "Rude am I going to regret asking?"
"Don't you always?" Rude chuckled and started dabbing a large cut on his forehead with a peroxide soaked cotton ball.
Tseng sighed and shook his head, "Alright Reno. What the hell were you doing in a field?"
"Gettin' lucky!" Reno continued to bounce in his chair and looked like he wanted to run and shout his excitement.
"Getting lucky? Reno I'm not the best with your slang but I'm pretty sure that means something very inappropriate." Tseng raised an eyebrow at Rude, who shrugged and continued cleaning and bandaging his various wounds.
Reno giggled like a little school girl, "Not this time! Ask me what I mean!"
Tseng sat down and rubbed his face wearily, "What do you mean by getting lucky Reno?"
"I found a bazillion four leaf clovers Tseng!" Reno clapped his hands with glee and Rude facepalmed.
"Four leaf clovers?" Tseng raised an eyebrow.
Reno patted his pants, "They're in my pockets!"
"In your pockets." Tseng felt like a parrot because of how often he had to repeat Reno's words for them to make sense. Even when he said it it didn't make sense.
"Yup!" Reno beamed and Rude continued to hide his face in his hand.
"So you're trying to tell me that you crashed your helicopter into a field so that you could sit and look for four leaf clovers for three hours?" Tseng tried to wrap his mind around the idea that his most senior Turk had just spent three hours sitting in a field.
"I said you wouldn't believe us." Rude snorted into his hand and Tseng realized he had been trying to hold back laughter.
"If you found all these four leaf clovers where are they?" Tseng tried to make his face look stoic, knowing that Rude was probably laughing at the look he was wearing now.
"I told you they're in my pockets!" Reno patted his pants for emphasis.
"I can't believe you unless you show them to me." Tseng tried to ignore Rude's quiet snorts of laughter. He had never seen a real four leaf clover before and wanted to see one. He had always looked when he could but he didn't have the dedication to sit in a field for three hours searching through clovers with the hopes that one of them would be mutated.
Reno gave him an indignant huff, "I can't show them to you! If I let anyone else see them before I dry them all the wishes I made will be worth nothing!"
Tseng couldn't keep his face blank at that statement, "Wishes? What the hell are you talking about?"
Reno rolled his eyes, "Jeez Tseng how backwards are you? You find a four leaf clover, make a wish on it, dry it out, then burn it and your wish will come true."
Tseng facepalmed, "You don't wish on four leaf clovers Reno."
Reno opened his mouth in angry disbelief, "Yes you do! You're a liar!"
"No Reno, you wish on stray eyelashes and shooting stars not four leaf clovers." Tseng worked to keep his face blank as Reno glared at him childishly.
"You wish on eyelashes? What the hell is wrong with you yo? You're supposed to wish on clovers!" Reno clenched his hand in his pocket as if he was protecting his stash of clovers.
"No Reno, you don't wish on clovers." Tseng sighed wearily.
"Yeah ya do! Tell him Rude!" Reno looked to Rude for back up and punched him in the arm to get his attention when the quietly sniggering man didn't respond.
Unfortunately he punched the arm that had been cut open during their unorthodox and unnecessary crash landing. Rude acted on reflex and punched Reno in the face with his other arm. Reno and his chair toppled backwards and he howled as he landed on the floor, clutching his bleeding nose in pain. He sat up and glared at Rude and thickly said, "Wha da hell wa tha fo?"
Rude cleared his throat and shook out his hand. Reno's face was hard and his knuckles didn't like him for punching it. "Reflex."
"Sbastic son ob a bitch!" Reno growled and set his chair back up. He snatched a large quantity of tissues from a box on Tseng's desk and shoved them under his nose as he gingerly poked its quickly swelling sides, "Ib ya broke my nobe you're gonna habe more dan a bloody arm ta worry abou."
Rude rolled his eyes at the empty threat and turned to Tseng only to find that he was no longer standing beside his desk. He stood up and looked behind it to find Tseng rolling with uncontained laughter, "Tseng?"
Tseng had to laugh a few more minutes before he could find the strength to sit up. He had never laughed so hard in his life but the sight of Reno being punched in the face was so hilarious he couldn't help himself. "Those clovers didn't help you at all did they?"
Reno frowned behind a white and red cloud of tissues, "Ony becauve I haben't ha time ta try and burn dem yet!"
Tseng's laughter began anew and he shooed the bleeding pair out of his office, hoping with every fiber of his being that his surveillance system had been able to catch the sight of Reno being floored by Rude. He still had to get Reno back for showing a video of him being chased by a dog at the company Christmas party the year before. He hoped revenge would be as sweet as he thought it would be. If this video failed to bring the proper level of humiliation there was the new found fear of kimara bugs that he could use to his advantage.
Tseng grinned and went to leave the room and get more coffee when he spotted something green on his floor. He bent over and picked up a very crumpled and abused looking four leaf clover with a smile. Tseng tucked it into his pocket and hoped that the wish he made on it would override Reno's.
Author's Note: I thought this one up because I find four leaf clovers all the time while none of my friends have ever been able to find any. In fact, just last weekend I found six while I was out hiking with my friends.
Anywho, this was just a silly little drabble and I hope you liked it! Let me know in reviews okay?
