Disclaimer: Do not own.

A/N : I'm thinking that this is going to be a darker fic... don't like yaoi (boy x boy!) don't read.
My first lemon, please review. If you have/have had an eating disorder I don't want to 'trigger'
anyone, so that's a big heads up. I know it's a rough subject but I really need to get these slightly morbid thoughts out of my head! Anyways, here goes. Sorry for any spelling mistakes!

The day started off like every other fall day on Destiny Islands. The air was cool and crisp as his scarf whipped around him in the heavy winds. Another day at work, to help another tortured person that is trapped in themselves. Roxas had always wanted to help people who were disordered - his own mother had died of an eating disorder that he'd soon learn was bulimia, and she also had very severe obsessive compulsive tendencies that actually forced his quality of life to dwindle... As he continued his walk to work, he frowned thinking of how he couldn't ever sit in the living room. Or the kitchen. Or anywhere besides his room, which always had to be perfectly spotless or else his mother would shout the most horrible things to him, which started his own problems of self hate. His cousin Sora had helped him realize that he was actually worth something at his darkest moment, which propelled him into this profession.

He inhaled slowly as his hand rested on the handle of his building. He was really feeling the pressure lately, more and more of his patients' conditions were declining and quite honestly he didn't think he had it in him to continue.
He loved his job, he wanted to help in any way he could, but one of his patients in particular was troublesome.

"Early as always, Roxy."

Thereeeeee he was. Axel Waite. Tall, obnoxious, red-headed Axel was always there to greet him on the other end of the desk, where the patients actually had a right to the space in the lounge. He had been here since before Roxas started working at the facility but was known by all the staff as a ruckus.

"Morning Axel. Having a fine morning?" He didn't look up at him as he spoke. He wasn't very happy with Axel at the moment, he skipped out on their last appointment and he got in trouble for getting laxatives snuck into the facility-again. Axel was much like Roxas' mother had been, with bulimia. He was first diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when he came here, but when they started forcing him to eat he turned to purging to get it all out. He had a very disturbed mind, Roxas had come to find, but he also had a killer sense of humour that he'd often find himself snickering at his jokes and snide remarks to his co-workers.

Axel smirked, "Oh Roxy, why such formality?" His smiled widened a bit as Roxas collected his clipboard from a young intern named Olette.

"You certainly weren't formal last night," Axel winked at Roxas as Olette's eyed widened. Roxas noticed her discomfort, and knew that she'd be obligated to report what he had said to the Superior of the facility. He tried to save Axel,
the last thing he wanted was for him to get into more trouble.

"Really, Axel? I'm pretty positive you were stuck in your room last night. Just like every other night, for the past five years." Roxas smiled at Olette as if to dismiss Axel's harassment. "Hurry along Axel, no missing your appointment today."

Roxas headed down the hall, Axel walking beside him. Over the past three years, he and the redhead had gotten pretty close. One would dare to call them friends, even though that was forbidden between patients and psychologists at their facility.

"You know, that was actually pretty tame. Usually your comments are a little more... I don't know..." Roxas was looking for the word as he pulled out his keys to his office.

"inappropriate? Scandalous? Promiscuous? Maybe even," Axel looked both ways down the hall before leaning down by Roxas' ear with a smirk, "Sexy?" Axel cocked an eyebrow as Roxas fumbled his keys, a light blush on his cheeks and finally got the door open.

Roxas had to admit, the red-head was hot. Like really hot. He sighed as he motioned Axel to lay down in the typical therapist sitting chair.

"Nope, I was going to say crude. Good guesses though. Should we start now, or are you going to spit in my ear again?" Roxas smiled slightly as Axel frowned. He seemed different today, Roxas thought. It worried him, a little.

"Sure thing, babe," Axel stretched out, the hem of his shirt raising up a little, showing pale scars on his hips. "Where you want to begin?" He put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, listening intently to what Roxas had to say. Roxas had known that Axel had self harmed in the past, and he wondered where there might be fresh scars. He was sneaky, and very good at hiding what he did.

It was quiet.

Axel knew what was coming.

The questions, always the same.

"You feeling okay lately?"

"Yep." Nope.

"Having any feelings of self-hate?" "Nope." Yep.

"Axel."

"Roxas."

The questioner hated this. Axel never takes what he has to say seriously. Roxas knew that Axel had been asked it all before, which is why he was here. In three years, he had made a lot of progress. Now Axel seemed to eat, although he tried some sneaky things like the laxative stint earlier in the week. And he wasn't purging as far as Roxas had been made to believe.

Axels' hair was full of life now that he and Roxas were meeting three times a week, much unlike it was when they first met, straw like and falling out. Every meeting was always the same.

Not today.

Roxas wanted to get through today.

"How much weight have you lost this month?"

"You'd know. It's all on your chart. I don't get to know my weight. I don't get to know anything." Axel started to pick at his nails, a nervous habit that Roxas had noticed before.

"Hands down, Axel. Do you feel like a bad person?"

"I always feel like shit. I am shit. Always," he turned to Roxas, "you make it better, you know."

Whenever Axel said things like that it made Roxas warm inside. He knew Axel liked him. He was the only person Axel had ever, ever opened up to. 'Maybe,' Roxas thought, 'Maybe I have to open up a little too. I wouldn't mind. I mean... I like Axel. Not like that. But I like him. I want him to see me as a person, not his therapist.'

"You know, I used to cut myself too," Roxas didn't move his eyes from his clipboard. Axel didn't move, didn't speak... Didn't do anything.
He just sat there.

"My mother had what you have. She used to hate herself too, even though she was beautiful and so, so loved," Roxas continued, "Just like you, Axel. It killed me inside. That's why I started," He started to take off his jacket, and rolled up the sleeves of his red long sleeve shirt, a few very faint pale lines were etched across each wrist. Axel stayed quiet.

"Sometimes, I felt like it was my fault," Roxas spoke very quietly as he said this, "My fault that she died. I should've helped her,
got her somewhere like th-"

In one swift motion, Axel got up and wrapped his arms around the petite blonde. They embraced, Roxas' eyes wide from surprise and Axels squeezed shut, scared of the other mans reaction. They both just stood there for a while, and eventually relaxed. Axel was the first to speak, "Don't. Don't ever feel like something like that is your fault. She had her own demons," Roxas started to pull away, his arms still wrapped around the thin frame of the redhead. "Believe me."

"I do."

"Roxas," Axel said quietly, "Can I do something - something wrong, just for a moment? Something against the rules?"

Before Axel could ask another question Roxas stood up on his tippy toes, closing the distance between himself and Axel. It was just a small peck, at first. Axel just smiled into the kiss and rubbed up and down Roxas' back as he tried to pull him closer, trying to show the blonde how much he cared, how much he had longed to do this, to finally hold him in his arms and taste everything that was Roxas. He had known that the blonde was, in fact, gay - even if he didn't know it himself.

Axel prodded his tongue against Roxas' soft lips, his body begging for entry. Roxas happily complied, he knew this was wrong but how could something so wrong feel so right? Something that could cost him his job, his license...? Eyes shot open wide as he immediately stopped responding.

He had just broken the law. He had kissed a patient that was emotionally unstable. A patient that he had seen many times a week for the past three years. A patient that was insufferably sexy in every way.

"Axel," he breathed. "We can't. This is wrong."

The red-heads eyes closed softly as he gently put his forehead on the blonde's and said, "It doesn't feel wrong, Roxas. Does it?"

Roxas didn't answer as he felt Axels hands travel down the small curve of his back over his belt, to the inside of his back pocket to reveal the key to Roxas' office.

"I love you," Axel said, plain and simple. "And I want you to feel how much I've come to love you. Let me love you," he whispered the last four words into Roxas' ear,
knowing that he was experiencing the same warm pooling in his groin. "Let me love you," he repeated and kissed him lightly again.

Roxas' mind was everywhere and nowhere all at once. Axel was so close, he found himself breathing deeply, thoroughly enjoying the cinnamon smell that surrounded him. Axels eyes, his hair, his voice...Oh that voice was just so perfect, and he loved hearing those words more than he knew he could.

"Axel, I..." Roxas was silenced as Axel held his hand, between their fingers the key to the door. Axel looked at him, pleading; begging to let him express his feelings in a way that would change everything.

They never lost eye contact as they went towards the door, both of their hands trembling knowing how taboo what they were about to do was. Trembling in fear, in excitement, in the not-knowing of what was going to happen.

The door locked with a click and it was the click that ignited the flame in the two men, hands were everywhere finally being able to roam where they were never able to roam before. Axels tongue danced with Roxas' in a way that made his knees weak, as his arms wrapped around Axels neck again, the redhead hoisted him up from under his ass and Roxas found himself getting very, very turned on.

Axel pressed Roxas up against the door, their hardening members causing friction through Roxas' trousers and Axels jeans. Roxas moaned into the seemingly never-ending kiss. Axel carried Roxas over to the therapy chair that he had laid on only moments before, and as he bent down to set the blonde on the seat Roxas' legs unwound from around his waist and he hit the soft leather with a slight thud.

They stared at each other for a moment, noticing the lust in each others eyes and they knew what was going to happen. Roxas nodded to Axel who hurriedly shed his jeans, revealing black boxers and a very large tent pitched in front. Roxas had a boyfriend before, but it had mostly just been kissing and a blowjob or two, but now seeing Axel like this he knew he was ready, he knew that he had fallen in love with the redhead over the past few years and hadn't even realized. He pulled off his shirt with a huge blush on his face, knowing he probably looked ridiculous but really not giving a damn.

Tongues collided again as Axel made work on Roxas' dress pants. The blonde gasp as he felt Axels skilled hands graze over his predicament. Before long Axel had shed both of them from all their clothing and grabbed Roxas' hips, quickly turning him around.

Roxas' body was on fire as Axel drug his tongue, nipped and kissed all over his back, using his nails slightly as he made his way to Roxas' opening. "This is to make it not hurt, okay? I promise it will get better," Roxas hardly even heard what Axel was saying as he moaned to himself quietly, "Mmm, Axel please,
I can't take this, I need you," Axel didn't think Roxas could get any sexier but apparently he could, especially when he braced himself up against the back of the chair and lifted his tight little ass up in the air, giving Axel an amazing view. Axel coated his fingers with saliva and pressed one into Roxas.

"Ahh," Roxas winced at the intrusion. It felt very odd, didn't hurt exactly but it didn't feel normal by any means. Axel started to pump the single digit in and out of Roxas, and within a few thrusts Roxas found himself matching the pace so Axel slipped a second one in when his finger was almost completely out.

The noise Roxas just made sent Axel to heaven. It was perfect and he wanted Roxas to use that voice saying his name, screaming his name until his voice was hoarse.

"You ready?" Axel questioned and the blonde just moaned, unable to form any real sentences. Axel lined his hardened member up with Roxas' opening and slowly pressed in. Roxas was eager, he loved the feeling of being filled and he wanted more, Axel was trying to move slow as to not hurt him but Roxas was more than ready to pick up the pace, so he took matters into his own hands and quickly jerked himself back, making himself take Axel completely in. They stopped like that for a few seconds, both of them marvelling in the absolute bliss that was fucking each other.

"Axel," He breathed, "Move."

Axel hesitated a bit before taking his hands and gripping the blondes hips. He pulled himself nearly completely out and shoved his member back in completely, They both practically shouted upon impact, it felt so good, it felt so right.

"Nngh, faster Axel," the redhead picked up the pace, the sound of skin on skin and their moans filling the room. Axel loved hearing Roxas say his name, and after a few minutes of senseless fucking it was all the blonde could say, over and over shortening it to "Ahh, Ax, Ax, nngh."

Knowing they were both close to finishing he bit down hard on the blonde, wanting to mark the blonde as his. As soon as he placed his love mark he felt Roxas shudder underneath him and all of his muscles tightened down around him, and they both came in a whirlwind of moans and breathy whispers.

After a few minutes passed one of them spoke, "Axel, I love you," Roxas breathed, "but our time's up, I'll see you tomorrow?" He didn't want to seem insensitive but he knew they couldn't just cuddle there forever, it would look very suspicious.

Axel completely understood, "I love you too, Rox" he kissed him and moved to put his clothes back on, "you'll see me everyday," he winked, "It's not like I have a choice." They both laughed a little, Roxas finally feeling like the pressure he had felt the past few weeks had lifted. He had Axel to thank for that.

"You know," Roxas said tentatively, "You're really beautiful, Ax. Once you recover, I'd love to show you my apartment sometime. We could go out for dinner, or-"
Axel cut him off again, "As long as I have your love I'll recover. As long as I have you." Axel kissed him once more before slipping out of the room, leaving Roxas laying on the chair, completely spent and naked.

Roxas got redressed and wiped down the chair. He now was a doctor, who fell in love with a patient, broke the rules and explored a taboo... And honestly he didn't mind. He didn't mind one bit.

-
The end! I hope you guys liked it. Please R and R cause I've never written anything... like that before. Ever. hhaha, Anywayyyyyyys, Thanks for reading! Would anyone like this to go on, maybe continue to a few more chapters, exploring their lives after the little incident in the office and maybe when Axel gets released from the facility?

Thanks so much! Hope ya'll enjoyed it!

Thanks guys! ooxoxoo