The idea for this particular one-shot sprung from an amusing conversation with Baroness Orc. And I ran with it.
"Blast it, Holmes! Stop fidgeting!"
"You know perfectly well that I abhor this tie, Watson."
Sherlock Holmes made a feeble motion to twist away from me, but I would allow him no such opportunity. Not today, of all days. I pulled the silk tie tighter and proceeded to fasten it around his neck before he could issue another protest.
Alas, he would not be silenced. "Watson…"
I sighed, exasperated. "I do not have the time to-"
"You are...choking... me."
"Perhaps it will do you some good," I countered irritably as I finished my work.
He gave me a severe look. "I do not see why it is necessary that you treat me as if I were a child."
"I will take no risks today," I answered curtly before turning away.
My friend shifted uneasily in his chair. "I'm afraid I'm not inclined toward this sort of atmosphere, Watson. If it weren't for you-"
I crossed my arms and stared down at him. "Humor me this one day, Holmes. If you wish, you have my full consent to analyze every guest's character and motives and then inform me afterward of what crimes you wish to accuse them of."
Holmes chuckled as he pulled his overcoat on. "Perhaps. But only after I have given proper study to today's two foremost suspects."
I couldn't help smiling at the rather peculiar description. "I hope I am committing no felony?"
"I'm afraid it was only too likely to happen, Watson. Best of luck, old chap," he added with a nod as he slipped from the room.
Despite my earlier haste, I found myself giving my remaining minutes pause. My thoughts turned to the church bedecked with fragrant flowers amidst its modest gathering where I myself would stand with them, all poised to watch her grand entrance. A tinge of nervousness overcame me as I made the final adjustments to my suit.
"You're deuced slow, Watson, even for your own wedding," came Holmes's remonstrance from the hall.
I certainly appreciated having such an observant best man.