Afraid of Loving You
Gemini Fallen Angel
I'm in a bad mood and I'm pissed off so I've decided to write away my sorrows. I'm writing a Seto/Jou story about love. It is very short.
Summary:
Seto and Katsuya are together. Suddenly, Seto pops up and says 'I love you.' And now Katsuya's spending endless hours thinking if he loves Seto, while all along he did, he was just afraid.
Genre: Romance
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. I do not claim to, and I never will.
I like to always have my stories PG-13 but I think it could pass as a PG story. I think the only thing keeping this story from being a PG story is bad language. But I don't think that there is any in here. Wait, this could be rated G!
I'm thinking this is a one-shot. I'm not in the mood to write more the one chapter. So I'm gonna write as I go along.
'Blah' thinking
"Blah" saying
Flashback
Um... I'm not going to explain that one.
Afraid of Loving You
Katsuya
It's scary. Liking someone and scared to death to ask them out, afraid of the rejection you almost know is going to happen. But what's scarier, is when you've faced your fears and asked them out and find out that four months later, they love you and you're not so sure you love them back.
You're just standing there with this shocked look on your face. You're not saying a word, and you know the person who told you is waiting for a response. A response of rejection or a response of undying love. For me, I replied with nothing.
It happened just two days ago. And it seems like I can't get any sleep. I'm too busy thinking if I love him back. It's almost like I'm afraid to love him.
But I'm not afraid. Am I? How could somebody be afraid of loving somebody else? I don't know much of anything anymore. My mind is just blank since that day. All I can think about is Seto. And making him smile, and making him happy. My greatest achievement was making Seto laugh. He has a beautiful laugh. He really does. Though he denies everything people say to him about being beautiful. He's so stuck on making me blush by calling me beautiful.
Damn, there I go again thinking about that day. It's been in my dreams the past two nights. The day Seto Kaiba told me that he loved me.
Flashback
We were at Seto's house sitting in his back yard. He was on the ground looking at his garden of flowers with me beside him. My head was on his chest and his hand was around me waist, holding me close.
In his hand was my favorite flower, the white rose. He held it up to my nose for me to smell. He smiled as I sneezed. Words were not needed. For we spoke bearly any that day.
We were both content with each other, and that was all we needed. My arm went up and came to rest across Seto's waist.
I looked up at him and smiled, and he smiled back. He started petting my hair and running his fingers through it. I looked back down again and once again rested my head on his chest. I closed my eyes as I slowly dozed off.
I was going to fall asleep soon, if Seto had not shaken me. "Katsuya." He spoke softly. God, I loved the way he said my name.
I looked up at him. And he looked away. Almost afraid of the words he was going to say. I gave a confused look.
"I-I love you." He finally said. He looked at me. I knew he wanted me to say something. But I was too afraid. I didn't know if I loved him back. And I wasn't about to lie to him and say I loved him too when I'm not so sure.
"I-I don't know." I finally replied lamely.
"I'd rather wait for a true answer, then have you say a lie now. But know this Kat, I love you. And as far as I'm concerned, I always will."
End flashback
See what I mean? I mean... Seto Kaiba loves me! And I have no answer to give him. Do I really love him? Or is just lust? Well, it can't be lust since we don't do anything.
Okay, let me start with all the things l love about him.
First, I love his smile, his laugh, and his happiness. Since he's usually never happy. I especially love it when I make him smile and laugh, when I'm the cause of his happiness.
I love the way he holds me, and kisses me, and the way he'll say sweet nothings in my ear for no reason. And when he gets me stuff for no reason, and when I use my paycheck to buy him something that he probably will never use.
Once, I bought him a necklace. It was blue and it had SK in it. He put it on the day that I gave it to him and he hasn't taken it off since. Or, he's always wearing it when I'm around.
And that makes me happy.
I love it when he'll take a day off and just hang with me. When people say that I'm just a stupid punk and he'll grab me and hold me tight as we walk down the street. I love that. Because that shows that he's not ashamed of me; that he REALLY doesn't not want to be with me.
I love it when... we're together. I love it when he's around, when we do stuff together. Because he's so different when we're together, just me and him. Like a completely different person.
I love the way his eyes flash that special color blue when his eyes meet mine. When his hand fits perfect in mine. And when it's like our lips were made to be pressed against each other's. When... I feel like he'll be the one. The one that I'll marry and love and be with forever.
Did I just say that I loved him? Nah. I don't think I love him.
I told a girl that I loved her once and she slapped me cross the face and said she hated me. I really like her too. Mai. Yeah, her. She broke my heart.
And Seto found every piece. He fixed my heart, and then took it. But this time it wasn't broken. He's taken it and put his life on it. That if anybody touches it or breaks it, he'll hurt them for life.
Is that what love is? Making sure that the one you love is safe? That the person you love is happy? I don't think I know. But I do know that if I broke Seto's heart, mine would break too.
If somebody asked me a question about life or death. I would chose life, right? But if somebody asked me a question about if I was to live, Seto would die, and if I were to die, Seto would live, I think I would chose that I would die.
No. Now that I think about it, I would chose death for me with no thoughts about it. I love Seto Kaiba with all my heart and I would die for him.
WAIT!
BACK UP!
Did I just say that... I loved him?
That I would die for him?
Well, I said it without really thinking. But do I mean it? My mind was off and I was thinking through my heart.
I... do.
I love Seto Kaiba.
I fucking DO!
I LOVE SETO KAIBA!
Oh my gosh!
I can say it without hesitation. That must mean that I do!
I'm positive about this. I do love Seto Kaiba.
And to think that I was....
I have to call Seto.
The phone is ringing. I'm calling his cell.
"Jou."
He has caller ID.
"Seto."
I can hear his smile on the other end. My heart flutters.
"So? What's up?"
"I love you."
A pause. He must be shocked.
"Katsuya..."
"I've done a lot of thinking, and a lot of not sleeping or eating, which, I know, must come at a great surprise. But really. I've been talking to myself about EVERTHING, and I've finally come to realize that I do love you. I would even DIE for you I found out."
I can hear his smile and I can almost hear his happiness.
"Thank-you."
It was a whisper. But it met so much.
"Your welcome."
And to think that all this time, I always did love Seto.
I was just...
Afraid of loving you.
THE END
YEAH!
Well, I'm no longer pissed. I'm in a good mood.
That's always good news.
Leave any comments or criticism. It's all welcome. It's not my best word, I wrote it a long time ago. I just feel like getting reviews, 'tis all.
So, till next fic.
(GFA)