I came up with this while talking to someone on Skype about mortality and depression. I don't drink, but that doesn't mean I still cannot go to a bar.

DISCLAIMER: CBS owns Cheers, not me.

It was a dark night in downtown Boston, Massachusetts. The Yankees were in town, and bars all across the city had their TVs tuned to the game. Including the one place where everybody knows your name.

At Cheers, bartender Sam Malone was mixing drinks for everyone. Longtime patron Norm Peterson was just content with drinking beer. So was his friend Cliff Clavin. Carla Tortelli was still a waitress after all these years. Rebecca Howe? Still a regular patron here.

Down the steps came a 23-year-old male, somewhat overweight, and wearing an orange shirt and blue shorts. He came in the door. This was his first time visiting the bar. He didn't drink alcohol, but thought the bartender was a nice person to have a conversation with.

The man sat on a stool, and said "barkeep! A Shirley Temple please?" Sam said, "Woody, a Shirley Temple for the newbie!" "Coming up Sam!" said Woody Boyd, assistant bartender. Woody got out some orange juice, ginger ale, and grenadine syrup and mixed up a Shirley Temple. The customer said, "hold the cherry!"

As soon as it was finished, Sam brought the drink over to the customer. "So, you a non-alcoholic?" He asked. "Yes I am. But I still came here on the suggestion of my sister Katie because you are supposedly a nice guy to talk to. Your name is Sam Malone, right?"

"Yes it is" Sam said. The customer said "my name is Zach, and I'm depressed and needed someone to talk to" as he began drinking his Shirley Temple. "Well you've come to the right place" Sam said. "So, what's the problem?" Zach said, "the fact that one day I am going to die. You see, my parents are both over 50 and their time is going to be up eventually. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. I don't know how I can live without them."

Sam said, "you're not the first person to come to me with this problem. A lot of people have over the time I've owned this bar. Believe me I've seen it all." Zach then said, "well, I haven't done anything with my life since I entered adulthood and I fear that I'm going to die a nobody. In fact, I'm gonna die. Period. I don't know when, don't know how, everything will come to a screeching halt one day."

Sam said, "you know, why don't you look for a job? Maybe one day you'll become a top-ranked executive at whatever company you choose to work for. With that aside, everyone is going to die at some point in time. You shouldn't feel down because you know your time will be up one day."

Zach said, "well I've talked about this with my shrink and she doesn't have any answers. Before you ask any questions, yes her name is Lilith. I mean, what happens after I die? Where do I go? Do I get reincarnated?" Sam said, "whoa calm down man. Sounds like you got a lot on your mind. You want a refill on that Shirley Temple?"

Zach said, "yes I would please, thank you. Now, I have been thinking of my mortality ever since a house in my neighborhood burned down and killed the parents of 3 children, 2 of them teenagers. I felt really bad for them. This was 4 years ago by the way. Because I felt so bad for them, me and my sister spent a lot of time with them. We got off so well. But at the same time, I knew death was gonna come to me."

Sam said, "yeah, I read about that fire. It's nice that you did something for those kids. Now, hear this. You need to stop thinking about mortality. Live a little. Spend as much time with your family as you can. Think about all the good things in life, especially those you have and those you want."

Zach said, "well Mr. Malone, you're right. I'm gonna go out and grab life by the horns. I'm gonna live my life to the fullest. Thank you Mr. Malone. I don't know how you do it." Sam said, "no problem Zach. You're welcome to come here any time. Any non-alcoholic drink you want, we will provide it for you."

Zach said, "you can bet your life I'll be back here some time next week." With that, he left the bar, and went back home, feeling good about himself.

THE END

Well, that is pretty much it. A long conversation between me and Sam Malone.