I figured that I might as well spend the time in which I have writers block working on a different story. This story will be my strangest crossover yet. Please enjoy. This was inspired by every good fanfic I've seen on this site, and some others. It will be my attempt at randomness. I will make it longer than "Supremacy" is now. Time for me to disclaim.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Shawn of The Dead, Evil Dead, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Samurai Jack, or Lord of The Rings. On with the story.
As Harry Potter read the letter from his late mentor, Albus Dumbledore, he realized that he still knew very little of the wizarding world. Dumbledore was asking him to invite four muggles to fight an army of rather nasty vampires, werewolves, inferi, dementors, and evil wizards. While the ministry had many laws that forbade muggles from knowing about magic at all with a few exceptions, all four of these muggles had special cases that made them to important to the wizarding world to be neuralized. He got out the cell phone that Dumbledore had left him in his will.
Shawn heard the phone ringing while having yet another argument with Liz about the benefits of hiding a zombie in the shed in the backyard. After convincing her to put the Winchester down, he answered. Harry said "Hello, is this Shawn Riley?" asked Harry "yes" said Shawn "Are you aware that there is an evil wizard planning to destroy all muggles, half-bloods, and especially squibs?"Harry again "Yes, I recently learned what a squib was because of him."That one was Shawn "Then, do you know your wife is in danger?" Harry "Yes," Shawn "Then will you help us stop him?"Harry "Not unless he makes his move against us," Shawn "Do you know he plans to destroy all forms of alcohal, and tea?" asked Harry, knowing the answer "What can I do to help?"
Shawn Riley, who for some reason looked exactly like Simon Pegg, had recently learned that his wife was a squib. She had found out just after Z-day that she was put up for adoption when her parents had had her tested to see if she was a wizard. They simply thought she would be better off not knowing about magic, than envying those who could harness it. They had decided to seek her out to warn her of the return of Voldemort, who hated squibs, and half-bloods, and pretty much everything but purebloods, whom he extremely disliked. Since she was engaged to Shawn, he had been told to. He joined the Order of the Phoenix so he could help protect his wife from Voldemort. If you want to know more about him, go watch Shawn of the Dead stupid. I have other things to write about.
Ash was doing his highly importants job of working a cash register at S-mart, when his cell-phone rang. His boss came out of his office looking pissed "Williams, you're fired for not putting your damned phone on vibrate!" Ash turned to the people in line, "Well, I guess I don't have to keep secrets from you lot anymore: have the employees here are illegal, and the food in this store was smuggled to this country in some Mexican's ass, shop smart, S-mart, you bastards," Ash then answered his phone. "You just got me fired, so this better be good," "Would you like to join the Order of the Phoenix?" "Why would I want to join some nerdy club for wizards?" "This may involve explosives," Ash was intrigued "Tell me more..."
Ashley J. Williams was a man in his early 30's, who could have been Bruce Cambell's twin brother. He was apparently the promised one, or muggle who protected the world from the Book Of The Dead. He had been told about the magical world after his experiences in 1300 A.D., and had been told that he came from a long line of promised ones, who were all muggles. They had had trouble locating him, but had done so after he returned from saving the world from the damned thing. He thought he had destroyed the book, but it was apparently remade in different location every time it was destroyed. However, it wouldn't be remade for three years, so he totally had time to go on an epic adventure with Harry if such an occasion arose. He had befriended Dumbledore, and was saddened by his death. He wanted to help avenge the death of his friend, and wanted something to do while the Necronomicon was remaking itself, so he loaded his boomstick.
Buffy was the current Slayer. Like the Promised One, a new one was chosen every time the old one died. Slayers are basically muggles that kill things, evil things, like vampires and weak demons. She had finally found a way to close the Hell-mouth that brought vampires, and demons to this plane of existance, so she really wasn't needed much anymore in Sunnydale. She later found that an evil wizard named Voldemort was gaining support among vampires and other things Slayers had to kill, so she joined a group of wizards that was determined to kill this wizard. She had been skeptical at first, but when Harry told her about the large amount of vampires in Voldemort's army, she accepted.
Jack was new to the whole "phone" thing, and had not figured out how to answer it. After several tries Harry got kind of ticked. He used the flu powder network to get to jacks fire place. He walked up to Jack and vividly explained how to use a cell-phone. He then returned to the fire place and flued back, and called Jack. Jack answered the phone. "I am sorry I didn't answer earlier, but a kid covered in soot just came out of my fire place and explained how to use a cell phone, which I didn't know how to use before," Harry ignored this and told Jack, who already knew about the wizarding world, all about Voldemort. "And that's why he is actually more dangerous than Aku," said Harry, concluding the most persuasive speech ever given over the phone. Jack, who was wiping away a tear that was coming out of his eye, said "Very well, I will join this Order of The Phoenix." He got out his samurai gi, and his sword, and walked across the street to Grimwald Place.
When everyone had arrived, Harry read the letter from Dumbledore to everyone.
Dear Harry,
I wrote this letter minutes before we went to get the horocrux, and I believe that if you are reading this, I am dead. You are just now blaming yourself, along with Draco, for my death. I must tell you that none of the above mentioned are trully guilty of failure or betrayal. I know that you did all you could, and Draco did what he had to do to protect his parents. However, there is a man in the school that is guilty of betrayal: Severus Snape. I knew that Severus was in league with Voldemort the whole time, but unfortunately, my death was neccessary for the survival of my main spy: Draco Malfoy. I got him to come to our side after he attacked you in the bathroom. It turns out that he wanted to defect to our side anyway, but he had sworn an unbreakable oath to get the Death Eaters into the school, and that I would die in the attempt. He had done this only for the sake of his mother, whom Voldemort threatened to kill. I found out the truth from Draco, and we made a plan use the attack to obtain the horocrux. If Severus still lives, kill him! He will probably be sent to kill you. Draco has probably killed meby now, but I had cancer anyway, and told him to do so. Severus would never do this himself, he would let Draco do it, he wouldn't come out of nowhere and AK me, since it would endanger his mission to kill you that we don't know about but suspect. At this moment he is probably right there with you telling you that Draco is a traitor, since he has done nothing to make anyone suspicous, but anyway, I am putting you in charge of the Order Of The Phoenix, here is a list of people that I want you to invite to join, and a list of horocruxes that Draco got out of Voldemort while he was drunk, my picture will tell you what to do when you have destroyed at least six horocruxes, but won't appear until you do so, the people are:
Harry stopped at that point since he wanted to keep the locations secret, and the people were already there. "Alright, me Ron and Hermione will go get horocruxes, but we could use some back-up; who's with me?" noone answered. The LOTR music started playing from out of nowhere; Jack spoke up: "You will have my sword," then Buffy "And my bow," then Shawn "And My Axe...er...Crickit Paddle!" Ron and Hermione "we're coming too!" then Ash "Well, I guess I'll go, since I don't have anything better to do." even Dobby, but who gives a damn: he's just a house elf. Lupin then stood up, "So, it is settled: you are the fellowship of the horocruxes, I'll look after the Order while you gone."
They then started on their epic quest to find the horocruxes...well actually they went to Olive Garden first; then they started their epic quest to destroy the horocruxes!!!
Alright, I'm new at this random humor thing, so be gentle. I have wanted to do this story for a while. I hope I get some reviews. Noone seems to be reading or updating stories for some reason. Oh, well, sucks for me.