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A/n hey all this one shot is a tag to "If the Shoe Fits." Please enjoy.
Happily Never After
Reid left his messenger bag near the door to his apartment and kicked off his shoes. He stood with his back to the door for a moment and surveyed his living area. He was home, but once again, he was home alone. Every time he walked through this door, he was so utterly alone.
It's your fault.
He refused to listen to the voice in his head that tried to make him feel guilty every time he felt devoid of human companionship. He pushed off from the door and went to his bookshelf. He took down an old leather bound book that used to belong to his mother and went to his couch.
It was a copy of the original Grimm Brothers fairy tales. He flipped open the book and found the title page for "Cinderella." He'd told JJ fairy tales were supposed to be a safe way for children to confront their fears.
Claire survived one of the worst fears a child could have, a sexually abusive parent, but there'd be no happy ending for her. She'd live the rest of her life in a mental ward, or if the doctors got through to her, she'd go to prison. Either way it wasn't a happy ending.
You didn't get a happy ending.
He put the book aside and closed his eyes. He stopped trying to forget what he'd done when Hotch had asked him to take her shoe and play into her fantasy. It was something he'd never tell the others because they couldn't understand.
When Claire looked at him as he asked her if she was the one he had searched for, he knew she didn't see him. She didn't see Spencer Reid. She only saw Prince Charming, a perfect man that didn't exist except in her delusion.
What nearly sent him into total panic was that he saw Maeve's face instead of Claire. He didn't know how it happened; it was a total shock that shook him to his core. He heard Maeve's voice when she spoke to him. When he lifted her foot and replaced her shoe, it was Maeve's foot. When he kissed her hand, he was kissing Maeve's hand.
He blew out a breath and tried to stop the pounding of his heart. He had to turn it off, stop thinking about Maeve and how he wished he could have her back. Why couldn't he have a happy ending? He slapped the book closed and returned it to its place on the shelf.
His eyes wandered to the shelf that held "The Narrative of John Smith." He reached for the book, and then let his hand fall to his side. Kate said that one day he'd stop counting the days since he'd lost Maeve. He never thought about not counting the days. He wanted her to live in his memory like a star in the night sky that served to guide the old time sailors safely home. Instead, she'd become real again in his imagination and the reopened wounds were almost more than he could bear.
His phone rang, but he ignored it. It was probably Morgan or Garcia and he couldn't deal with either of them. He went back to the bookcase and removed "Grimm Fairytales." His logical brain tried to tell him he wouldn't find the answer there. He wasn't a child with fears to be conquered. He was a man.
He opened the book even though he'd long ago memorized all the stories and began to read. The gruesome tales were sure to remind him that happy endings aren't guaranteed and love doesn't always conquer all.