Neelix's Day

Summary: Early into Voyager's journey home, Neelix is baffled by human behavior. (Seven is still on her Borg cube and Kes is still with us. I like it that way.)

by Diane Running Horse

DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns the characters and the premise behind Star Trek.

Rated PG

'Good morning, Sweeting!' chirped Neelix. He paused for a quick kiss then resumed stirring a deep pot of goo as if his life depended on it. 'Breakfast is nearly ready. How about scrambled scaup eggs with pleeka rind parings? After I get the buffet set up we can sit together over a hot cup of coffee.'

Kes laughed softly. 'You've really developed a taste for that drink, haven't you?'

'I've been inspired by our Captain,' he replied grandly. 'She seems to have so much energy after she's had a cup.'

Kes smiled knowingly, took the tray from him and claimed a two-chaired table in a quiet corner of the Mess Hall. She looked forward to the times they had alone together, infrequent though they were aboard this busy vessel.

Neelix laid out the completed buffet for the crew and brought a breakfast tray for Kes and two cups of steaming brown fluid to their table. There was no need for a breakfast tray of his own - constant tasting and sampling had sufficiently quenched his appetite. What he wanted now was a few minutes alone with Kes.

Over an hour went swiftly by. Various crewmembers drifted in and out as duty shifts rotated. The primary bridge crew was the last to arrive. In a short while, Neelix could begin lunch preparations. He sat on at the table by himself, ingesting cup after cup of coffee. Kes had long since left for her Airponics duties. Sweet, loyal, hardworking - that's what she was, and the love of his life. With those thoughts, he held her in his mind as he would hold a fragile flower in his hands, grateful to have a mate on board. For Voyager, fresh upon her journey home, was not yet a generational ship.

Presently, the Captain and First Officer arrived, together as usual. From thinking about Kes as the perfect mate, Neelix's thoughts segued into speculation about the mating habits of humans. These two humans in particular intrigued him. There seemed to be some rule that a Captain and First Officer of one of these Federation vessels, if opposite in sex and attracted to each other, were forbidden to mate. Which, to him, was ridiculous. He wondered if Federation ships closer to their home planet had the same rule. Probably. Absolutely ridiculous, these Federations.

Captain Janeway was making her way along the buffet, placing upon her plate a very small serving of each dish. She laughed easily with Commander Chakotay, who, as a vegetarian, was more selective but scooped hearty, double portions onto his plate. Neelix noticed her touching him, clasping his arm in response to a shared joke, or gently nudging him on down the buffet line. They appeared to be the best of friends, which was curious, for by the accounts of several crewmembers, they certainly didn't start out that way. According to Mr. Paris, the Captain was originally out to... to... now, what was that vulgar expression Mr. Paris had used? Oh, yes, she had vowed to nail his ass to the wall. Where these humans came up with such idiotic expressions was beyond him. Why, Talaxians were generally much more polite.

Neelix made a quick stop at the mess head to dispose of the morning's coffee and wash up, still thinking about humans and their incredibly complicated mating rituals, still an enigma to him after nearly a year serving on board Voyager. Too bad the crew compliment was mostly human. Not that he didn't care for them; oh, quite the contrary. They had made him welcome and he felt himself a highly valued crewmember - as he had promised, he was on hand to supply the Captain with whatever she needed before she knew she needed it! Still, he sighed, some of their customs were unfathomable. This Federation-Starfleet stuff, for instance. Too military for his taste. Too strict. Without admitting it to anyone, he knew that Chakotay's Maquis warriors had the best chance of surviving out here - not the Federations. The Delta Quadrant called for flexibility - playing fast and loose with what little rules there were. Perhaps this Alpha Quadrant of theirs had been whipped into shape already. In fact, he might be heading for a rather dull existence with all those regulations. What if it affected his love life? Perhaps he and Kes should have remained behind... but he shook such thoughts away in light of his perennial optimism.

He watched the Captain and Commander take their trays to a private table, and continued, covertly, to study them. Outwardly, simply two professionals meeting over breakfast and discussing the day's duties - but Neelix, without understanding it, sensed an almost tangible spark between them. That's it, he thought, gesturing surreptitiously at them. That's what's wrong with the Federations. Those two are the very quintessence of all that's amiss. Why, even he could see the attraction each one held for the other. Look at the subtle nuance, the way he looks at her, taking her in from the top of her hair to her.....uh..... yes, and look at the warmth behind her smile! Yet this infernal Federation-Starfleet regulations of duty to which they seem enslaved demands that they remain distant. Even at breakfast.

It was the same way with the Federation crew, although he knew that many of them were secretly pairing off, in their off-duty hours, anyway. They apparently didn't dare let the Commander know, and gods forbid if the Captain found out - she set the example of how everyone else was supposed to behave. She may laugh and joke and even touch the Commander, but (it was assumed) they never mated. Which was why he was so grateful to have Kes; to have what they had together. Going it alone with nothing but work to sustain you, was - well, as far as he was concerned, a life not worth living.

Neelix continued his musings as he completed his mess hall duties and went about the ship in his new capacity of Morale Officer. This was his favorite job. He took it seriously, for he felt that high morale led to good feelings and good feelings led to friendship and friendship led to love and Spirits of the Great Forest knew, this ship needed it.

What exactly was it that one of these humans saw in another one that sparked attraction? He had only a vague idea. The Captain and the Commander, if they were attracted to each other as much as he suspected, kept theirs well-hidden. Talaxians were anything but subtle; attracted to each other by smell, by skin color - the blush of heat rising into the face, making the spots stand out and the nerves beneath the skin making the whiskers twitch. For humans, he knew something called 'pheromones' entered into the picture, but he had never gotten a single whiff of them. There were particular expressions - he had once caught Tom casting furtive glances at B'Elanna. There were lots of intangibles. For instance, while he could more strongly sense the Commander's attraction to the Captain, she kept that invisible shield up, just like those on the ship! Some of the crew had styles, or....methods, or....things. Ayala was a 'lady-killer,' as he had heard Tom describe him. Why kill ladies if you wanted them to love you? Such a puzzlement. Hogan and Kim were both stuttering schoolboys around women - perfectly understandable, for they were so young. Joe Carey was a polished gentleman, and like Ensign Wildman, remained true to his faraway spouse, and what a sad, lonely existence it was that they each had! So many different types of men, he sighed, with so many strange and different habits. And that wasn't the half of it - the women were the most complicated of all. Megan and Jenny, too impatient for the preliminaries - according to what he'd heard - jumping straight to the mating ritual with whoever showed an interest. Then there was B'Elanna, whose work was more important to her than anything - and speaking of whom...

'B'Elanna! Good to see you', he enthused, greeting the agitated Klingon as she raced past him. 'On your way to Engineering?'

'No, Neelix, I'm headed for the nearest airlock!' she snarled, panting. 'Where do you think?! And it just might happen, if I can't get the plasma conduits aligned!'

She swiftly rounded the corridor and vanished, clearly in no mood for a morale boost. Neelix consoled himself with the thought that boosting B'Elanna's morale had always been difficult - no, make that impossible. Undaunted, he continued on his rounds.

'Good morning, Neelix.'

'Ensign.' Neelix acknowledged. Mr. Kim seemed in good spirits already. 'You seem cheerful this morning.'

'Had a date with Megan Delaney last night,' Harry whispered. 'Don't tell anyone - especially Jenny. I'm seeing her tonight!'

'Your secret is safe with me! And if you're on your way to Engineering, uh, I just saw Lt. Torres and she seemed quite irritable this morning.'

'Starting out to be a normal day!' Harry grinned, running backward down the hall. 'Thanks for the warning!' he called back over his shoulder, as he turned back and sprinted onward.

Neelix walked on, resuming his stalled thoughts. Most of the Federation women seemed to value morality (well, all except the Delaneys). The Maquis females were not so proper. Then there was Captain Janeway, in a class by herself, such a warm, caring person, but he bet she was a pillar of ice when it came to improper advances. He swiftly rearranged his puzzled face, for the Captain and the Commander were headed his way. If they ever went anywhere together, he noticed, they always walked so closely, side by side. The big man would shorten his stride so that the smaller Captain could easily match it, and occasionally the Commander's hand brushed the Captain's, but she never grasped it. Neelix decided that, of all people on board, the Captain's job was the loneliest - why was it that those Federation regulations (those ignominious words again) should prevent her from seeking companionship? Especially for the next 40 years!

The two greeted him warmly and took the nearest turbolift to the bridge. Neelix turned the corner and greeted Ensign Wildman. She had a corridor panel open and was kneeling, repairing a defect in the directional system. She looked up and smiled at him.

'Hello, how are you, Neelix?'

Ensign Wildman was one of Neelix's favorite people. 'Wonderful this morning, Sam. How's the baby?'

'Oh, she's growing like a weed; takes after her father,' said Sam, adjusting the new gelpack and placing the defective one in her engineering case. 'Ktarians grow at a much faster rate than humans, you know. We were so lucky that our species were compatible, or we never would have had a child. Life without her father would be unbearable if not for her.'

The repair completed, Samantha click closed the corridor panel, but she did not immediately rise. Concerned, Neelix placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. He saw that she was fighting tears - in uniform, on duty, and not allowed to cry. Sadly, Neelix helped her up.

'Samantha, I'm certain that our Captain will get this ship home before Naomi completes her education.'

'You really believe that, Neelix?' she asked, sniffing.

'Most certainly. As her godfather, I'll be there for her graduation, standing beside BOTH her parents.'

She smiled. 'Thank you, Neelix. I don't know what we ever did without you.'

Empathy for Samantha's fate surged through Neelix - separated from her mate against her will, and despite his assurances, no guarantee that she would ever see him again. This morning's rounds were becoming decidedly depressing this morning, and his musings were putting him in a bad mood. Humans were unfathomable. He decided to give up trying to figure them out. After all, he had Kes, and she was all he needed.

He headed down to Cargo Bay Two to get supplies for the next day's meals: the ingredients for the pizza Tom liked (and which he still had not fully mastered), those for Vorik's Plomeek Soup, preserved gagh for B'elanna, and plenty of leola root. Maybe some extra spices for everything; perhaps that would satisfy everyone. It seemed to him that he was getting too many complaints about his menus lately, and this dragged his mood down even further.

The cargo bay doors were open; no light emanated from within. Uncertain, Neelix entered. The ambient light from the corridor cast shadowplay on the far wall by the entrance to the Jeffries Tube. Curious, he stepped toward it and halted dead in his tracks, for the shadowplay was that of a man and a woman, fully clothed, locked in a very passionate embrace. The man was very tall with very short hair, and the woman's hair was twisted up in a bun. Neelix, embarrassed, nevertheless watched for a brief moment, then cautiously and very quietly backed out of the cargo bay. In the corridor, he smiled to himself. He could get his supplies later. Part of his bewilderment at humans dissolved and his spirits lifted. Perhaps there is hope for them yet.

Neelix, Morale Officer extraordinaire, had just received his own morale boost.

The End