Disclaimer: It may shock people to learn this, but I own nothing. Nada. Zero. Zip. Ranma ½ and the various characters is the property of Rumiko Takahashi-sama. The rest belong to various other people.

I've gotten several comments from various reviewers that the story title "The Return" is already in use by another author. So to avoid confusion, I've altered the title slightly.

Return to Nerima

Chapter 1:

The Message That Rocked The World

"I'm home!" Nabiki Tendo called as she entered the foyer and removed her shoes and began flipping through the pile of letters she had grabbed from the mailbox. Bill, bill, junk, flyer, bill, more junk, and hmmm? she blinked and examined the small stiff postcard of a panda munching on a bamboo. Someone had scribbled a goatee and horns on the panda along with 'Stupid Old Man' decorating the card. After a moment, she flipped it over to read on the back.

Coming back for visit. Don't tell anybody Nabiki. I mean it. Don't.

Ranma.

Nabiki smirked. You'd think that Saotome would know better by now, she mused to herself as she strolled to the phone and began dialing a number from memory. "Hello? I happen to have some information that you might be interested in…" she drawled as she toyed with the plastic telephone wire.

Dull, dull, dull, dull… she sighed as her computer signaled the successful completion of her latest experiment. Of course. Things were so quiet and peaceful and boring! She felt like screaming and ripping out handfuls of her hair when suddenly a holographic screen popped into existence and an audio alert began pinging.

Hmmm? She blinked and peered at the screen. What was this? She scowled and closed her eyes trying to remember what … oh yeah! She had secreted a few programs in some of the primitive information networks that would activate an alert when a few key words or phrases were used. And they had just been triggered.

She swiveled in her floating chair and cackled as she rubbed her hands together. Her favorite guinea pig was back! Things were going to be interesting…

Thunder roared and Ranma grunted as chunks of concrete painfully pelted him. He spared a glance over his shoulder as the robed figure was quickly closing the distance behind him.

He saw a gleam of metal and recognized the shape of a pistol. He dove for cover. Once more there was a series of deafening booms and he squeezed himself tighter as he saw the formerly solid stone chimney get carved apart by multiple projectiles. He sweatdropped as more and more of the rock wall got chipped and sliced away under the relentless barrage of bullets. If this went on, his laughable cover would end up like swiss cheese.

He waited until the barrage paused and leaped as his assailant reloaded. He got about five feet before he was forced to check his advance as the place he was about to step exploded in a shower of rock. He did a back flip as more bullets ripped through his former location and catapulted himself over his opponent's head, doubling back the way he had came.

The robed figure spun and unleashed a torrent of streaking hot lead. Ranma winced as he felt a projectile slice through his shirt and across a bicep but somehow managed to evade any further injury. He bounced, hopped, and cartwheeled trying to make himself a more difficult target. He hoped.

Fortunately his opponent was only out to wound him. That was the only reason why he wasn't dead. So far. He suddenly saw a new figure leaping to a rooftop just ahead of him and cursed.

Vega sighed as he leaped to the rooftop. Their newest potential recruit had been giving him fits for a while. The man didn't move in any discernable pattern. Rather, he seemed to be zigzagging back and forth erratically. He rather thought that Shadowloo's standards were dropping to be considering someone of such … low ability as a potential recruit. Still, it wasn't his place to question his master's decisions. Not if he wanted to keep breathing that is.

He smiled and brushed back a lock of his long blonde hair and turned on the sophisticated charm as he addressed the candidate, "Greeting Ranma Saotome, my organization is intere—"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!" Ranma screamed.

Vega suddenly had a close and personal view of Saotome's slippered foot as Ranma used his face as a launching pad to vault upwards several stories. "—AAAARGHHH!"

There was a percussion of thundercracks and Vega shrieked as his body jerked several times as several bullets slammed into him before toppling backwards with a heavy thud.

The robed figure lowered the gleaming automatic weapon and cursed, "Damn."

Ranma spared a brief moment to glance behind him and winced, "Sorry 'bout that pal," and gave his fallen savior a brief nod of thanks, "but better thee than me."

"Hmph. He's gotten better at dodging…" the cloaked figure muttered and adjusted the robe to reveal a pair of extremely large breasts as she holstered her guns before turning her attention to the prone figure lying on the rooftop. "Well, well … I know you … you're Vega, a wanted criminal. You have quite a bounty on your head. Such a thoughtful fiancée, leaving me a gift like this…" her golden eyes glittered coldly.

Ranma Saotome, this is all your fault! Vega thought darkly as he lost consciousness.

"At last the Schools can be joined! WAAAHHH!"

Genma Saotome nodded at his old friend, "Exactly Tendo!" he cried, clapping the sobbing man on the shoulder. "I have to admit that ungrateful brat had a good idea running off. Surely those other girls have given up by now and we can hold the wedding without any interruption this time! Sheer genius!" he said proudly, puffing out his chest, "Of course, he is my son so it's only natural!" he laughed.

There was a snort from Nabiki as she calmly bit into a rice cracker as she watched her so called parental unit and Genma Saotome trying to plot. Honestly, she rolled her eyes. How many times had Genma had done something and then vanished, anticipating that the person or persons would just shrug and forget about it? And how many times had it come back to bite them in the ass? Did he really think that those girls would give up after a mere five years?

Ukyo had by all accounts, dedicated the better part of a decade to tracking down Genma and Ranma for her vengeance which spoke volumes to her determination and perseverance.

Shampoo had pretty much hunted them across a good portion of China and then clear to Japan to settle things. And from what she had seen, Genma and Ranma himself were no slouches themselves when it came to evasion and stealth.

And Kodachi? Well, insanity and total obliviousness was usually a negative factor in most things but when it came to obsession, it helped. It helped a lot, Nabiki mused thinking about the entire Kuno family.

Not that insanity was an uncommon thing here in Nerima, she thought to herself as her gaze slid back to her emotional wreck of a father and his idiot/best friend loftily pronouncing the future success and marriage of their children. And not just limited to the Kunos. Unfortunately. She smirked to herself and tallied up all of fees that the various persons and interested parties whom she had alerted to a certain pigtailed martial artist's impending return. Ranma would have a fit had he known. Ah well, at least I got paid...