Alfred's curiosity was always getting him into trouble. Like now being his father's forbidden study. Standing on his favorite chair with his cleats punching holes into the upholstery. It had the best window in the house to see across the street. Alfred noticed the moving van while changing into his little league uniform from his bedroom. But the giant willow tree that he named Droopy blocked most of his view and quickly dashed over to where he stood presently. By the time he had pulled his father's heavy seat to the window and peer out. A red 2007 Chevy corvette convertible had parked itself in the driveway.

He knew the model because he had been eyeing the very same replica hot wheel from Mrs. Elizabeth's class prize box. Though he had a very long way to go in star stickers to get it. He was determined to win it for his crush the little Japanese girl down the street. He never talk to her but her godfather like the color red so maybe she did too; and cars were cool they go fast and blow up in the movies. So it was pretty much the perfect gift for his first impression. His father always said that first impressions were important when making new friends. Which is probably why his dad never had any.

Alfred continued to watch as two burly movers go to work unloading the truck while a blonde man carrying a equally blonde boy in his arms directing where certain items should go.

"Alfred! Do you want to be late for your big game?!" His father yelled from the foot of the stairs breaking the young boy's daze.

"Coming!" Alfred tried to hop off his perch but the tiny spikes of his shoes caught on the burgundy leather tripping the wannabe baseball star face first to the hardwood floor.

The crash caught his waiting parent's attention "Alfred? What's going on? What was that crash?"

Alfred regain his bearings but finding it difficult from the pain and the tears forming from landing on his nose. He looked to his father's chair in horror. His cleats had gripped the leather and brought it with them during the fall ripping a huge section away exposing it's yellow sponge stuffing.

He heard his father walk up the steps . "Alfred love? Are you alright?"

Fearing being found Alfred try to stop his advance with reinsurance "Yes! It's nothing!"

Alfred continued to listen to the footsteps ascend. "No if I recall correctly nothing sounds like the complete opposite of whatever that was."

Alfred scrambled to his feet as quietly as he could muster out of the office to his bedroom. He barely snuck in as he heard his father step on the creaking plank at the the top of the stairs.

"Alfred I can hear you moving around. Where are you? This is no time for hide and seek. We're going to be late."

The young boy hardly heard his words as he hurriedly dispose of all the clinging evidence of his crime off the bottoms of his shoes stashing the pieces under his bed."I'm in here!"

His father appeared in the doorway. "Why are you still up-Good god! What did you do?!"

Panic stuck Alfred like a blot of lighting. He had been caught! It was only a matter of time really when you're an only child having no one else to pin the blame. He accepted defeat "I'm sorry! It was just an accident! I didn't mean-"

He was interpreted by the older man rushing at his son tilting his head back "Oh sweetie don't worry let me get you cleaned up." He grabbed at some tissues on the nightstand pressing them gently to his painful nose. "Your bleeding everywhere! What happen? Actually hold that thought here I'm going to get you some ice. Keep your head back and don't move." He dash back out.

Confused Alfred disobeyed his instructions and looked down. His jersey had red spots decorating his collar. To get a better look He moved to his full size mirror and saw that a his upper lip was smeared in blood making it a bright pink. While studying his reflection the initial pain to his nose seem to intensify. Alfred was surprise he didn't realize sooner. But looking at the foot of his bed reminded him of his more pressing matters.

His father shortly returned as promised with a ziploc bag of ice and Alfred's washcloth that had spaceships and stars on it. It was his favorite and he actually flinched away to spare it from getting dirty. Though Arthur was not one to tolerate such nonsense and began his work as gently as possible. Cleaning his face first to insure no other injuries were hiding. Then turned his attention solely on his nose.

He brushed his long fingers up and down the bridge feeling for breaks or fractures. He must of just finished with washing the dishes because Alfred could smell the honey and milk lotion that he used after. Alfred often wounder if it was the lotion or the fact that his father did mom jobs along with dad jobs that made them so soft. His touch was so light that it actually tickled him causing giggling which resulted in his nose protesting painfully

His Father frown sympathetically with his boy "I'm sorry love, but it must be done. What happen anyways?"

With those words it dawn on Alfred that he had been giving a second chance. His father did not know! He weighed his options. Fibbing would get him to his game. The game he was meant to open and be star pitcher showing Ivan just what his arm could really do. Telling the truth meant being grounded from the game and having to listen to Ivan gloat all week about how stupid he was to practice all those hours. And he would be right, and really was there any punishment worse than that?

Alfred struggled and decided to follow example from his Uncle Scott. Selective truth:"I tripped and fell on my face."

"See? Maybe this will teach you not to wear your baseball shoes inside the house like I'm always telling you hmm? Good news I'm positive you have not broken anything at worse a hairline fracture but, your bleeding doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Maybe I should call Dr. Beilschmidt."

"What about my baseball game!?"

"Oh Alfred you're in no shape to go to your game"

"No! It will stop by the time we get to field please!"

"Alfred I don't think-"

"No I'm fine! Really it doesn't even hurt! See!" He flicked his nose causing shooting pain and eyes to tear up in protest.

Arthur captured his tiny hands to cease anymore demonstrations. The edges of his mouth curled up. "Well how do I say no to such a prime example of stiff upper lip? Will go."

"Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thannkk Yoouuu!"

"Calm down and take it slow. I need to grab another towel and a jersey lord only knows what our neighbors think seeing you covered in blood. You must promise me though that if you start to feel light headed that you tell me alright?"

"Double Yes!"

"Alright meet me at the foot of the stairs."

Alfred didn't even get halfway down before hearing his father bellow. "Alfred ! What the bloody hell did you do to my chair!?"

Alfred sulked in his favorite spot the porch swing or it's more known role of the legless chair parked on the deck. After Alfred swung too high effectually breaking the support chains for the seventh time and Arthur had yet to fix it. Just the thought of Alfred's father made the boy's face scrunch in distaste.

Once the old man discovered his mutilated chair he informed his son that his outdoor recreational and television rights were revoked until Monday. A lesser charge than the standard full week due to disastrous outcome of his baseball game. Surprised his father allowed him to even attend. Not without a good scolding on the ride over of course.

They where late for the game which forced his coach's hand to appoint Alfred's under pitcher Toris to open the season's game. Alfred's first season game. The game he had spent hours and hours perfecting his game that Alfred competed with boys years older than him for. The game that Alfred spent all his allowance so that he could learn tips from Gilbert pitcher of 'The Knights'. A middle school champion team. It went to Toris! his best friend! The betrayal was too much. Adding insult to injury they were playing 'The Snowflakes'. Where Ivan was leading pitcher who wasted no time in giving Alfred a face full of soft ball at his first time to bat. Resulting efficiently finishing the job that Alfred's earlier mishap failed to; breaking his nose. Needless to say that he spent the rest of the game five miles away in the ever familiar Dr. Beilschmidt's office not knowing what hurt more the anger and disappointment of missing his big debut game or his shattered nose.

Alfred was pulled from his pity party by a shout across the street.

"Yo! Amigo! I'm talking to you!"

It was Carlos* the or Big C as he like to be called. He was larger than Ivan which was a feat even for a ten year old. He was known for his hobby of terrorizing the neighborhood. His favorite victim was Toris. Being his besite Alfred often became a shield and fought the other boy with out a single victory. It wasn't in-till Carlos mysteriously broke his arm hours after a particular nasty fight. Where Alfred lost horribly gifting him two black eyes, a busted lip, and a broken ankle. Which left Toris open to receive a even worst fate of a concussion, no hair and twelve stitches. Ever since Carlos tended to keep his distance from Toris. Too bad he didn't feel the same way about Alfred.

"Are you stupid or what?!" Carlos continued to badger his new neighbor who was sitting in the grass clutching a white teddy bear shaking like a leaf. The older boy nudged him with his foot. " Hey! I'm being nice here!." He grab front of the smaller boy's hoodie pulling him to his feet "So your just gonna be rude little gringo huh?"

Alfred shot up yelling "Stop it Carlos!"

The bully's eyes snap over to at him. "That's Big C to you Alfie."

Alfred hurried down the steps to the boundary zone of his house arrest the white picket fence. He made a show of pretended to look around as if searching. "You must be the stupid one Carlos cause I don't see any Alife's around just me Alfred!"

Carols laughed at him "Ho man your voice is so funny! And your face!" Another fit of giggles "What happen?"

Telling Carlos that Ivan literary beat him in baseball mortified Alfred. Carlos would make fun of him for days maybe even a whole week! Wasn't it bad enough that everyone at the game knew? No way was he about to spill. But the new kid's sniffle caught his attention. His clamp eyes started to water. Tears were like kryptonite to Alfred. "I'll tell you if you leave the new kid alone!"

Carlos glanced back and forth between the smaller blonde then decided winding his fist "I'll just find out from Manuel*"

"I said stop Carlos I swear if you-!"

"You'll what? Word around the cul-de-sac is your old man grounded you again so just sit back and enjoy the show!"

Before Alfred could interject Carlos punched his prey square in the face. The young boy's spectacles fell to the ground and seconds later so did the boy. After a swift jab to the gut. He curled himself into a ball as the sharp kicks proceeded to follow. Before Carlos could get his fourth kick in Alfred launched himself on the bully both falling in whirlwind of snarls and fists. While Alfred was faster and had a pretty strong right arm from his hours of pitching practice. He still was just an injured seven year old. Alfred managed to get in more hits but it only took Carlos one straight punch to the nose to defeat Alfred.

The pain was so intense Alfred was stunned even his vision became impaired whiteout chased with an onslaught of tears. He felt Carlos push him off leaving Alfred in the grass. It took minutes before Alfred could think of anything but the pain and blink out most of his tears. Once his vision was restore Alfred re-familiarize with his surroundings. Carlos was gone and so was his neighbor. Only clues of the previous encounter ever happening where the indistinguishable grass imprints and abandoned red rimmed glasses. Feeling an all too familiar wetness and copper taste on his upper lip. Alfred wobbly stood hanging his head back to halt his recurring bleeding nose. And slowly making his way back across the street racking his brain in ways explain to his father without gaining more jail time.

Alfred didn't get very far in his thought process nor crossing the street when he was startled by a thick accented shout behind him

"Stop right where you are!"

Alfred turn to see a blond grown up. Storming down the the driveway. Carrying the bullied boy in his arms who hid his batter face in his father's neck. Alfred wasted no time jumping the fence gate sprinting to the door and throwing it open. Barely miss hitting his father passing by. "Bloody hell Alfred wha-"

"I didn't do it! " He replied dashing up the stairs out of sight.

"Didn't do what? Where are you going? Alf-!"

"Come back here you little monster!"

Arthur peered around the door and watched in horror as his handcrafted fence gate splinter into pieces with a kick by a finely dressed man. Who proceeded to stomp about without care trampling many of Arthur prized flowers. Quick like lighting a match Arthur's rage sparked and waste no time expressing it "What the fuck do you think you're doing!"

"Me! you should tell that to your barbarian of a son you raised!"

"Pardon!? The only barbarian is you! Get the hell off lawn or I'm calling the police!"

"Do it! I'm sure they love to hear the assault and battery case staring your degenerate boy viciously assaulted my sweet baby Matthew! Actually I'll do you one better let me call them for you!" he fished out his smartphone from his blazer pocket.

"Fair Valley police department how may I help you?"

"Yes I would like to file a-"

Arthur snatched the phone and finished with "Property Damaged Report"

"What's your name sir?"

"Arthur Kri-" the french man slap the smaller man hand causing the cell to fall among the destroyed flowerbeds.

"You bloody twat!"

"Like I would have you turning the tables on me! Get your coward of boy out here right now I want a word with him.!"

"Like hell I will! What proof do you even have that my son has done anything!?"

"Right here!" The french man presented his son's beaten face.

It was was almost surreal Matthew's face was remarkably close to Alfred's. It was as if his own son had donned on a long hair wig and purple contacts. It even became creepy when a trickle of blood peaked on his upper lip. Once he shook off the momentary awe of his discovery he took in the rest of the face. The swelling made it look worse than it really was. During his quick look over of the damage Arthur could not help but feel a faint sensation of pride that his boy could hold his own. Though while Alfred was known for fighting he did not have the reputation for starting them with the exception of Ivan of course.

"Unless you were able to pick Alfred's fingerprints off your son's face. I don't see your point."

"He was on my lawn and he ran when I told him to stop."

"I'm not surprise have you seen yourself? Your a like a mad junk yard dog frothing at mouth! Of course he ran. He seven not a fugitive. And did it ever occur to you that maybe the real culprit was gone before you arrived? Surely your boy can contest to that."

"No he can not."

"Oh? Why not? Did my boy illegally also cut out his tongue too?"

"He is mute!"

Arthur cringed at the declaration. Guilt washed over him like a bucket of ice water. He was famous for putting his foot in his mouth but he really work a thing of beauty this time. Though he refused to have his new found sympathy show. This man was after his son and Arthur had no qualms about being down right cut-throat."Well then with your lack of any hard evidence this is certainly a case of our words against- Oh wait I guess it isn't. Now Unless you want me to really call the cops on your ass for trespassing which I clearly have evidence so off kindly bugger off!"

Arthur slammed the front door and sighed He listen to the mad rantings of his new neighbor he sprinkled in threats and wishes of misfortune bound his family to keep it colorful. Arthur ran his fingers in his choppy locks and pressed his forehead on the cool wood framing. It was moments like these that Arthur wonder why the powers at be hated him so much?

Ever since the the house across the street was deemed sold Arthur was planning to befriend the new neighbors before the rest of the community had a chance to spread local gossip. He had it all planed out. He was going to bake some fresh scones dress up in his Sunday best and introduce himself with Alfred in toe. Then start up some small talk that would lead into invitation for dinner. Over some wine and witty dinner conversation they would bond with tips about lawn treatments best ways to keep caterpillars from eating their gardens. Before you knew it they would be the best of neighbors helping each other out. Lending sugar, playdates with Alfred. Waving hello when fetching the mail or the morning newspaper. Straight out the archives of a Leave it to Beaver episode.

And when Alfred explained his spying from his office. It sounded that there was a tiny chance that the new arrivals was a single parent like himself. Though It most likely that he was a stay at home father or just take time off of work for the move. Arthur couldn't help hoping he deduced right.

In a whole Fair Hills subdivision was predominantly multi parented households. In some way or another. Like the Braginski's next door who had it's two eldest sisters caring for their younger brother. Or Yao Wang at the end of the street raising his godchild with two of his cousins.

To have a fellow single parent would be fantastic. It would be so nice to swap stories,fears and advice about their lifestyles. Someone who could really relate too. He was also curious if all single parents had it as hard as himself or did fate just deem him special giving him an OCD human battery..

So how did it come down to this? His plans up in flames, instead of having the perfect Stepford neighbor. He some loony hell bent on revenge. Though Arthur took comfort in that there was really no chance even to begin with. His neighbor was a frog and he was born and raised Englishman. It was instinct to fight. Much in the same way dogs and cats do. He wouldn't be surprise if it was found imprinted on their DNA. Satisfied with that conclusion He lifted his head from the door took a deep breath and called for his son.

" I can't "

" Alfred you're really starting to strive my patience for one day get down here now!"

" No!"

" Alfred F. Jones! If your not down here in the next 5 seconds neither one of us is going to be happy!"

Arthur began to count down When he reached two he heard the patter of little feet above him to the stairs. Arthur couldn't help but feel a bit of deja vu. Alfred stood on the fifth step with a blood stained towel pressed to his nose his eyes were red and glassy from crying.

Arthur swooped in sitting on the steps ushering Alfred to do the same so that he could inspect the damage. While Arthur took over holding the red rag he ask" Alfred what happen this time?"

Alfred's eyes began tear up "It wasn't me dad! I swear!"

"I believe you Alfred but I still need to know."

Alfred began telling his story while Arthur readjusted the brace and the medical tape back to their original positions but just before he explained about the Frenchman Alfred's siffaling escalated and completely diverge from the story to apologize "I know I'm grounded I know I've been bad-and -and I'm sorryyyyy"

Arthur embraced his tiny boy as he began to sob incoherently clinging to his sweater-vest Forgetting all about the towel. Alfred was in most part a rezaliant boy but disasters of the day piled the stress in till it burst open like a flooded dam. His boy was never one to cried softly either he was loud and cough from his hacking sobs It wouldn't be long in till the boy had a self inflicted headache. But Arthur refuse to move no matter how much his ears threaten burst or how ruined his favorite shirt became.

Gently ran his fingers through Alfred's dirty blonde locks cooing resurements Alfred finally began to calm down Arthur continued "You're not bad love, misbehaved yes, mischievous absolutely but never bad. People who are bad do not risk their father's well known wrath and physical harm to save innocent neighborhood boys from bullies twice their size. You know who do?"

Alfred rubbed his teary face 'no' into his chest

"How can you not know? It's heroes my boy. My Carlos must of hit you harder than I thought."

Just like open sesame unlocked the lair to the 40 thieves hideout Alfred and finally peaked his face out looking up at his father his eyes red but no longer wet. "Like Superman?"

Arthur chuckled softly" Better than Superman." He stood up carrying Alfred with him. It was easy enough Alfred was smaller than most his age and weight hardly anything despite all the food Arthur would stuff him with. He began down the stairs "And you shall be reward as such."

"You mean I get to kiss Lois Lane?"

" What? No! Why are you even about thinking kissing girls at your age? Aren't you supposed to be disgusted by their cooties?"

"Dad Lois Lane is not a girl she's a lady. Ladies don't have cooties."

" Well don't be kissing any ladies either. Last thing I need is you becoming a casanova." He deposited Alfred on the couch and joined beside pulling out his dated Nokia and speed dial 'Little Italy' a local Italian restaurant.

" Dad what's a casanova?"

"It means ladies man."

"Oh don't worry dad I'll won't become like Felix I don't like wearing dresses it makes climbing trees hard." Alfred declared.

Arthur was about to correct his son but a very chatty chef began to babble about wanting to take his order, also about wanting to take his own order being how hungry he was himself. After listening for five full minutes about the chef's day Arthur was able to say their usual order of a large thick crust pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni.

When Alfred overheard the words pizza and extra. His mood rebound back to a hyper active bouncy ball jumping from couch cushion to couch cushion in excitement, many times over Arthur as well. Arthur quickly finished the call and snatch the boy while he was leaping over him pulling to his lap. It hardly stop the boy from expressing his joy he shifted his shoulders and kick his legs in a restricted dance.

"Alfred calm down! I swear you're like little energizer bunny that never stops."

Alfred abruptly stopped his wiggling and frowned in concentration. "Why are we having pizza? I broke the rules? Did we change the rules in being grounded? Cause if pizza is a part of it now that would make being ground a lot easier"

"No you do not get pizza when your grounded that would kinda defeat the point as it being a punishment now would it?"

"Then why are we having it?"

"Try figuring it out."

Alfred contemplated for an estimated minute " I don't know."

"Not a clue?"

"All I can think of is that I'm allowed to have pizza when I'm not grounded."

"Yes and you're having pizza so what does that mean?"

Alfred's baby blues widened in realization " I'm not grounded! anymore!" He began to bounce once more in Arthur arms in delight.

"Correct you quite the sharp tack there now how come you can't you put some of that brain power to your school work?"

Alfred ignored this father jab "Why am I not grounded?"

"While it may not be as great as kissing Mrs. Lois Lane but it's your reward. The pizza is also for me you've run me ragged today love, I don't have the energy to even lift a finger. So cooking is out of the question." Arthur set his chin on top of Alfred head to prove his point.

"Really!?"

"I believe having as rotten of a day as you've had is punishment enough don't you think?"

"Yes! I do! Alfred beamed and started kicking his legs like a dog wags it tail when it's happy.

"Dad you're the best!"

Oh how Arthur loved those four words. It was of many phrases that Alfred would spout that that made all the stress and frustration worth it. It worked wonders better than any day at the spa or kicking a few Guinness* back at his favorite pub. It was the much needed pat on the back. Saying what a good job he was achieving at the hardest job he had ever known. He closed his eyes and soaked in them.

Alfred continued "Well maybe not the best baker tho."

Arthur snapped his eyes open and sniffed the air which ending with him coughing weakly. He forgot all about the 'welcome to the subdivision' scones in the oven. He deposited Alfred on the couch cushion beside him and bolted for the kitchen. Opening all the windows and doors on the way in attempt to stop the fire detector from going off. Not that it matter the fire department stop showing up. After the third week he moved in. Which was really a shame Alfred loved fire trucks.

He pulled out the charred baked goods and set the pan on the windowsill. Even he could tell they where inedible and he ate brunt bread as part of his daily diet. But he hated for food to go to waste. Plus distasteful, and foul smelling where adjectives that described his new neighbor quite well. Therefore there was no need to change his original plan.

Hours later when he finally manged getting Alfred to fall asleep. He beautifully arranged the blacken dough on a plate and wrap his present with utmost care He then composed a hand written card on his highest quaintly paper that read 'Think of theses as a metaphor of my thoughts and feelings about you. Your new neighbor Arthur Kirkland.' He then place the gift at the foot of the french man's house.

While Arthur was expecting some retaliation he was surprise to find a his plate returned with a perfectly made set of croissants before he stop Alfred, his son snatched one up and began eating. Arthur read the card hidden underneath reading 'Think of these as a metaphor of how I actually am light buttery succulent perfection on the outside-' Arthur paused in reading when he heard his son intake a breath and race back into the house shouting about needing water. Leaving the half eaten pastry on the porch where it bled red jelly and continued to read 'with a wicked temper what bites back. Your new neighbor Francis Bonnefoy'

Arthur wasted no time in responding picking up both croissants and promptly marching to the edges of his neighbors lawn and throwing them back over hitting the door on point. Leaving a red stains dripping down on the new paint job earning much admiration from Alfred who begged him in tips on how to do the same.

Moments later the french man emerged in only his bathrobe and slippers to investigate. He took one look at the bits of croissants then across the street and made eye contact then promptly gave the Englishman the bird.

Arthur returned the greeting with a smile.

It was a far cry from sharing sugar or a friendly wave picking up the morning paper but Arthur felt that suited him just fine.

TBC...

Author Note-

Sorry about the grammar and spelling mistakes I didn't catch. Also the odd POV change in the middle.

Carlos- Cuba

Manuel- Mexico

Guinness is actually a English Beer that is not that popular in England but is super popular in Ireland (some times it's an insult if you get anything else)