My 90th letter…the letter that I never sent. I remember that pain as if it were yesterday…
That shattering sting when the positivity I'd built up finally caved in and paranoia sheaved it's perfectly sharpened blade, stabbing me in the heart with swift and painful ease.

'Child you must know. It's time to move on now he's lost. He shall never be forgotten.'

That gentle yet world shattering voice clawed its way into my mind once again ensuring that those fears came to life within my minds eye.
I wouldn't believe it. I'd of thrown myself head first into the Northern Crater before I'd believed it.
I tried so hard to block out the voice; before I'd just have banished it to the back of my mind and just kept hoping, but something inside me snapped. My spirit had become weak, it could no longer fight the realisation that had been threatening to burst for so long.

Zack wasn't coming back…

All I could hear was that phrase over and over again.
I dropped to my knees, clutching at the petals of my lilies for any kind of comfort…any kind of solace from the shattering world around me. But nothing and no-one could help me now. The only person that could was gone, and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

For what seemed like hours I cried for my lost soldier until my tear ducts were wept dry.
All I could feel was darkness… it felt like my light had died along with the one person who held it for so long.

I felt like all was lost, until a gentle gust of wind brushed against my stinging eye lids somehow soothing my pain a little and stilling my sobs.
I opened my swollen emerald hues, then through blurry vision my gaze fell upon the letter I had been writing to Zack: it had been mostly the usual drabble about things in Midgar, asking so many questions that would remain forever unanswered, but I had of course started to tell him how much I missed him.

As I read my own final words I felt a little warmer all of a sudden, and I made a silent promise; A promise that I'd adhere to those words no matter what. I couldn't fall into darkness, that's not what he would have wanted.

'Forever and a day is how long I'll wait….'
In this life, or the next I'll be here waiting. I promise.