Stephanie sat on Mary Lou's sofa, eating Ben and Jerry's, complaining about her man problems with Joe and Ranger. "I love them both, I don't know what to do Lou." Stephanie said, with her usual indecisiveness.

Mary Lou sighed and put down her spoon. "Steph, you know I love you right? And I've always got your back. But I've been listening to you say these same things for years now.

I know I haven't experienced very much in life, I married young and only really know the Burg. I don't have much life experience, so I don't usually offer anyone advice. But I listen to a lot of people gossip about their lives, and I watch a lot of Dr Phil! So do you mind if I offer you some advice?"

Steph was a bit taken aback, but agreed, "Sure."

"Well, you often say how you don't know if you want to get married again, and you say kids terrify you, but sometimes you say other things that indicate you do want to get married, or at least have a permanent relationship. So which is it? And if you really do feel like you don't want marriage or kids, what are you still doing with Joe Morelli?

I like Joe, really I do, but he's Burg through and through. He wants the marriage and kids and the dog and the Saturday afternoons with the family. If you want to stay with Joe, you are going to need to accept that you're going to have to change some things, and be more like what Joe wants you to be.

If you don't want to change and you really don't want the marriage and kids, then I think you really need to let Joe go. Because it's making you both frustrated and unhappy to keep going like this. It's not fair to keep stringing Joe along, and letting him hope you'll come around to his way of thinking. You're holding him back from finding someone who wants the same things he wants."

Steph sniffled and drew a shivery breath, "I know what you're saying, but I do love Joe, I just don't know if I can be what he wants. And I do love Ranger too."

"Yeah I know Steph, but with Ranger, I don't know much, he's totally out of my experience. From everything you've ever told me though, it doesn't really sound like he's ever going to offer you anything traditional with a relationship. The same as with Joe, if it's Ranger you really want, you may just have to accept what he's willing to give you. I just don't if that's going to be enough for you. If he never wants to get married, will you be OK with that?"

Steph looked stricken. "I just wish he'd give me a chance at anything, but he always qualifies everything. Last time we talked about a relationship, he told me that he thought about marrying me. Then he said marriage was too extreme, so he thought about living with me. He told me he loves me 'in his own way'. Everything seems to have an exit clause. He makes me feel so insecure and uncertain."

Mary Lou sighed again. "I don't know Steph. Maybe you want something different from anything Joe or Ranger is prepared to offer you. I know it would take a brave woman to walk away from them both, but you're the bravest person I know. I think you just need to make up your mind to go after what you want. And take a deep breath and accept that you can't change them, any more than you want them to change you."

A tear slid down Stephanie's face. "I'm really scared Mary Lou. I know that I'm treading water here and I can't keep going like this. I know you're right about Joe, I feel like I'm holding him back sometimes, like maybe I'm treating him like a fall-back option. Ranger terrifies me that if I tell him I want to be with him, he's going to turn around tomorrow and tell me he doesn't want me for anything more than a friend or casual sex. I don't think I can handle just crumbs if that's all Ranger gives me. And I'm scared of ending up alone and lonely without either of them."

"Steph, I know they're amazing guys and unbelievably hot! But is that enough? They're not the only guys in the world. Maybe there's someone else out there who would be just right? Maybe you're Goldilocks! You've tested the too hard and the too soft."

Stephanie gave a watery chuckle. "Maybe you're right. It would be so hard to let them both go, but maybe I just need someone more adventurous than Joe, but less than Ranger."

Stephanie leaned her head against Mary Lou's shoulder. "I'm glad you watch Dr Phil. I think I needed the reality check."

Mary Lou hugged her tight. "What are you going to do?"

Stephanie sighed. "I'm still not sure. I have to do some serious thinking and make some decisions. I went over to Joe's a while back and he had all these family members coming over, and his grandma making this disgusting casserole. One of his nephews was out the back rolling in dog shit. I panicked. I really don't want that life. I like to visit you and Val and play with your kids, but I really like to go home to Rex. The more I think about it, the more I think I don't really want the life that Joe wants. And you're right, if I don't want it, I need to let Joe find someone who does. Somehow, I think the Joe thing will be the easier decision, no matter how much it might hurt.

The harder part is going to be deciding what to do about Ranger. It feels like I have to talk to him about what he's prepared to offer me but it feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. If I jump, it could hurt more than anything ever before. If it all falls apart, I don't know if could stand staying here and seeing him. I couldn't stand running into him on the street, or at the station. It would rip my heart out. Or if he found someone new. I'm not even sure how I'd handle seeing Joe with someone else, let alone Ranger. But maybe if I found someone else myself it wouldn't hurt so bad."

"Sounds like you've got some ideas already Steph," Mary Lou said. She nudged Stephanie's shoulder. "But let's not meet back here next month and have the same conversation, huh? Time for a change?"

"Yeah, time for a change. I hate change! But can't just keep standing still. Gonna be hard, really, really hard."

"I'll always be on your side Steph, no matter what happens. I'll always have your back. You can cry on my shoulder any time you need to."

"Yeah probably going to need this shoulder a lot. Love you Lou."

"Love you Steph."