Title: Somewhere I Belong
Author: Alyssa_Anime_Angel
Based on: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Angst
Songfic: Somewhere I Belong By Linkin Park
Rating: R – seventeen years or older!
Warnings: Child abuse, self-infliction, and general angst.
Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution, none of its characters or the song "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park.
Oh yeah and psychic talk is // followed by //
When this beganI had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find, that I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is only the real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own
Rogue lay on her bed in Principal Darcholm had given her. The pain was back, from all the people she had stolen life energy from and she clutched her head letting the sharp stabs ricochet through her brain. No one knew of her pain and she preferred it that way, she wanted no one's pity. Quietly whimpers emerged from her mouth as her mind was torn to pieces yet again.
"Rogue, it's time for you to go to school," Mystique's voice came through the door and Rogue collected herself together, forcing herself to ignore the pain and stand up.
"Yes principal Darcholm, I will be ready in a few minutes."
Rogue stood up and almost fell, but the pain was beginning to subside again and she was able to slip into her usual clothes and walk out the door.
She just grabbed a piece of bread on her way and walked to school.
Arriving she saw that group, all together, laughing. How she disliked them!
She lifted up her chin as she passed but a wave of nausea hit her and she almost collapsed. Jean and Scott ran to her but as they tried to help her up, she pushed them away and threatened, "Leave me alone, or you'll regret it."
Jean and Scott stepped away as she stood up and stormed away.
Kitty and Kurt joined them and Kitty asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah that was seriously creepy," muttered Kurt.
"Yeah were fine," said Scott.
"See you after Chemistry," said Jean as she walked with Scott to their first class.
"So what do you think is wrong with her?" asked Jean.
"I don't know, but I think we had better see the Professor about it."
"Good idea."
Rogue ran to the bathroom and was furiously sick. She emptied out what little she had and then her stomach blood and bile. She hated what she was turning into.
I want to healI want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain 'til it's gone
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
She took off her gloves to wipe her mouth and face just as someone entered the bathroom and she had to hold in her urge to throw up again. She heard two voices and listened to what they were saying.
"Rogue is so up herself," muttered Kitty.
"Yeah, she thinks she is the only one in the world," said another girl whom Rogue didn't recognize.
Rogue became angry and balled her hands into fists, her nails cutting into her palm drawing blood.
Rogue only barely restrained herself from going out there and telling them to shove it, but she couldn't bear to let them see her like this. Perhaps they deserved to feel guilty though. But still some part of Rogue cared what they thought and she just stood frozen until they left, blocking out there words.
Rogue emerged from the cubicle a mess and she decided to go home. It was no use staying here. She silently left the school, not knowing she was being followed.
Jean was listening to the Professor rave on about the Periodic table, when she had to go to the toilet. She raised her hand and asked, "May I go to the Toilet, Sir?"
He nodded and she left the room and headed down the hall.
Jean was walking to the bathroom when she saw Rogue exit through the doors down the hall. She decided to leave it be, but as she took a step forward she saw a drop of blood. Her need was quickly forgotten and she headed after Rogue.
Rogue walked down the side streets to get to her apartment when she finally heard some one behind her.
Rogue turned sharply and saw Jean.
"What do you want?"
Jean looked at the bloodied hands and Rogue followed her gaze. She shoved her hands behind her back and cursed, "It's none of your damn business."
Jean only had pity in her eyes and Rogue got so angry that she stormed over the Jean, but before she could do anything, pain blasted through her head and she doubled over screaming.
Jean leant down as patted the girls back as she squeaked, "Please help me upstairs."
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere, only to find
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
Why do I have but Negativity
Cause I can't Justify
The way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own
Jean complied and supported the injured girl up the stairs. Rogue pulled out a key from her pocket but fumbled and dropped it to the ground.
Jean made sure Rogue was supported on the wall and picked up the key, and opened the door.
Jean was greeted by a plain gray room, with a single bed and a set of wooden drawers.
Jean laid Rogue on her bed and called, //Professor, please I need your help. It's Rogue, she's in trouble!//
//I'll be right there//
Jean sat down next to Rogue. She was going to probe Rogue, but felt that it wasn't right, besides she might do more harm than good.
Jean waited for about five minutes until she heard a car outside turn up.
Soon Professor Xavier and Logan entered the room. Upon seeing Rogue on the bed, Xavier rolled up to her.
He placed his hands on either side of her head and saw into her mind. What he saw made him extremely worried.
He turned to Logan; "We have to get her to the mansion now."
"What? She is one of Mystique's recruits."
"I know, but she will destroy herself if we don't help her."
**//**
Rogue woke up in a sunshine filled room. She wasn't in her room, and there were other beds here as well.
"Where am I?"
She turned to look at her hands and saw they were bound with bandages and she remembered what had happened.
Just then the door opened and Jean walked in.
Rogue glared and said, "Where am I?"
Jean answered her, "You're at Professor Xavier's house."
"What! Why?"
"Because we want to help you."
"Why would you want to help me after you all tried to kill me?"
Jean was about to answer when Rogue stood up and yelled, "never mind, just get out. I want to get dressed and leave."
Jean decided it was hopeless so she did as Rogue asked.
Rogue fell back down to the bed, as she was extremely exhausted.
Just then the blue mutant appeared in front of her.
She jumped up and then saw Kitty run through the wall, "No don't go in there!"
Kitty froze upon seeing Rogue.
Rogue started to get really upset, remembering what Kitty had said about her and Kurt noticed this.
Kurt asked, "What is wrong with you?"
Kitty gasped.
Rogue looked at him and saw the pity in his eyes. She didn't want pity. She just wanted…love.
She was about to steal his power to escape but as she started to stand up, the pain in her head flared up and she choked on a scream. Kitty ran to get help and found Logan in the hallway.
"Rogue is, is…"
But before she could finish, Logan was already entering the room.
He saw Kurt leaning over Rogue who was holding her head and rocking in a fetal position.
He walked over and heard her muttering, "Pain, screams, hurt, want no pain, stop!"
Jean had heard the commotion and ran into the room, and with nobody else knowing what to do she pulled Rogue into a hug and started to stroke her hair.
Xavier had told her what he had seen and she knew that the only way Rogue would be healed was to give her love and safety.
Jean held Rogue, and Rogue whispered, "It's all my fault."
"No Rogue, You listen to me, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!"
"It is, I let them and then I wished and then I hurt others."
"No Rogue," Jean turned to the others and said, "leave us please."
"Rogue it wasn't your fault, it is never the child's fault, it is their fault! And you may have wished for no one to be able to touch you without being hurt, but that is only natural. And the fact that your power is what you wished for, it is only a coincidence. And I know you didn't mean to hurt any one, and that you don't want to hurt anyone now."
Rogue looked up and the voices in her head dimmed, "I want to heal."
Jean smiled down at her and Rogue fell into a peaceful sleep.
Professor Xavier rolled in and said, //you did well Jean//
Jean just nodded and looked down at the child who had been so abused.
**//**
I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'till I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today
Rogue woke up the next day feeling better than she had ever. She saw kitty wake up on the other side of the room and heard the girl say, "Hi, feeling better?"
Rogue saw no pity in the girl's eyes and finally realized that this was the place she belonged. There would be no more hiding, no more pain.
'The fault was never my own. I was wrong and now I can heal.'
I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong
ALYSSA: If you have any questions then you can ask me in a review and give me your email or you can email me directly at spirit_warrior_Alyssa@hotmail.com