Ok, just another season 7 one shot. It can be thrown in anywhere between
Showtime and Dirty Girls.
Disclaimer: Sometimes I go down to my basement to see Spike, but my neighbors look at me funny because I live in an upstairs apartment...and they always have to remind me that I don't actually own Spike, despite my protestations. Sometimes the police are involved..not pretty.
**
"Knock, knock, anyone home?" Buffy asked as she slowly opened the basement door.
"Just the usual cellar dweller, luv. What's up?" Spike asked without leaving his cot. Buffy made her way down the stairs and looked around nervously.
"Why does something have to be up for me to come down here?" Buffy fidgeted with the bottom of her shirt.
"Well, since you never come down here except to train the girls or do laundry. Don't see any little bints following you and no pile of clothes." Spike cocked his head and gave her a quizzical look.
"That's not true. I come down here for other stuff sometimes. We've talked before....." Buffy was shifting her weight, refusing to look at him.
"Alright, enough! What's put the ants in your pants, pet?" Spike stood up and walked toward her.
Buffy bit her lip. "I just.....oh God, is it terrible if I say I hate girls?" Spike squinted his eyes at her and then broke out in laughter. "I do! I know, it's awful, but I *hate* girls! They're so loud and giggly and.....annoying! I thought Dawn was a handful! My God, these girls are driving me insane! I can't stand them. And I can't stand that I'm responsible for them. I just want to send them all home, away from me! Arrrrggghhh!!" Buffy walked over to Spike's cot and threw herself down, her head in her hands.
When Spike got control of his laughter, he came and sat beside her. He patted her back, which quickly turned into a gentle rub. She didn't look up or stop him, she just let him comfort her. "Pet, why do you think I spend so much time down here? Girls have always been a bloody mystery to me, but lately I've been getting to know far too much about them! I know all the little boy groups they like, the trauma of a broken nail, the injustice of someone else using all the hairspray.....Bugger, I can even smell when each and every one is having her monthlies! After all that time I'd wished for women to become less of a mystery, now I'm bloody begging someone to put the mystery back in!"
Buffy looked up and giggled. "Yeah, I guess it must be hard for you and Giles. And Andrew, but he doesn't seem to mind it all that much. I have noticed that Giles' glasses cleanings have increased at an alarming rate these past few weeks."
Spike smiled at her, still rubbing her back. "Yeah, ol' Rupert's not used to living in a girl's dormitory, I'd wager. 'S why I hide out down here. I'll come when you call, but I mostly like the peace and quiet down here. You're welcome to it anytime you like, ya know.....your house 'n all."
Buffy shook her head. "God, was I like that when I was young? Well, you wouldn't know, but still.....I don't think I was that bad."
Spike stopped rubbing her back. He lifted his hand to her face, cupping her chin. "Hey, you're still young, ya know."
Buffy nuzzled her face into his hold for a moment before pulling back sheepishly. "I don't feel young. I'm old. I feel as old as you sometimes....."
Spike gave her a little smile as he returned his hand to her back. "Well, you look remarkably good for a 129 year old human."
"I don't know if I can do this, Spike. I mean, I've had a hard enough time looking after myself and Dawn. But all these girls.....they're counting on me. They expect me to be their leader and protector. I just.....God, it's so much responsibility."
Spike started rubbing her again, slowly and methodically. "Yeah, wouldn't be you for all the blood in.....um.....hmm, that one started out good.....Oh! For all the blood in a blood bank."
Buffy gave him a wry smile. "Oh, that one wasn't too obvious.....you're really off your game with the quips!"
"Must be all these damned female hormones running rampant. Taking out the edge in the Big Bad. I think I need to go kill something. Up for patrol tonight? Just you and me? We could leave the little girls with Giles for some research party or something."
"I don't know. I *could* use the break. And they've been training pretty hard.....Sure, let's do it! How about you meet me upstairs in an hour. I'll go fill Giles in on the plans."
"Sounds good, luv." Spike gave her back one last, long stroke. His hand brushed her butt as she stood up. She looked down at him and raised her eyebrow. "What? Not my fault, no one told you to rub yourself all over my hand!" Buffy turned, indignant. Spike stood up, halting the verbal momentum he could see she was building. "Ah ah, now Slayer. No use wasting time arguing with me, you know I always win. Or at least I always win the arguments that you don't end by punching me in the nose!"
"Hey! I haven't punched you in the nose in a long time! But if you're looking to refresh that memory, I'd be happy to help." Buffy balled up her fist and pulled it back menacingly.
Spike cocked his head and looked at her through hooded eyes. "You really want to do that, pet? You know with us, violence only begets sex....."
Buffy thought about this, crossed her arms and then looked earnestly at Spike. "It used to, didn't it? Violence and sex.....it was all the same damned thing to us."
Spike shrugged his shoulders. "You never had any complaints."
Buffy looked at him hard. "I seem to remember having a complaint about our last encounter."
Spike's face went cold, then sad. "Yeah.....I, I didn't forget, you know. I just thought you were talking about all the other times."
"I'm talking about it all. All of it. It was sick.....and unhealthy for both of us."
Spike sat down on his cot. "Well, we don't have to worry about that anymore, do we? No violence, no sex.....we're safe from the evil that was Spuffy....."
"Spuffy?" Buffy looked at him, confused.
"Ah, uh....us....Spike, Buffy.....Spuffy.....it's just what I.....ah, bugger, you know a bloke gets lonely and his mind starts to wander down here in the dank."
Buffy giggled. "Spuffy, huh? And I thought you liked it down here, alone."
"I do! I wouldn't complain if you visited a bit more though." Spike looked shyly at the floor.
"Hey, that door opens both ways, ya know. Well, ok, it actually only opens the one way, but you know what I mean."
"Yeah, well, the girls, ya know. And I could even deal with them for a bit, if they didn't have this silly habit of liking natural light in the house all the time."
It was Buffy's turn to look shy. "Well, ya know.....if you get lonely and want to talk.....my room has thick curtains. I could be persuaded to close them if you came up for a chat sometime. Anytime....."
Spike looked up at Buffy as she headed toward the stairs. "I might take you up on that offer, pet."
Buffy nodded as she walked up to the door. "Ok.....patrolling in an hour?"
"I'll be there."
Buffy smiled as she closed the door behind her. "I know....."
**
R&R I'm a fiend!!
Disclaimer: Sometimes I go down to my basement to see Spike, but my neighbors look at me funny because I live in an upstairs apartment...and they always have to remind me that I don't actually own Spike, despite my protestations. Sometimes the police are involved..not pretty.
**
"Knock, knock, anyone home?" Buffy asked as she slowly opened the basement door.
"Just the usual cellar dweller, luv. What's up?" Spike asked without leaving his cot. Buffy made her way down the stairs and looked around nervously.
"Why does something have to be up for me to come down here?" Buffy fidgeted with the bottom of her shirt.
"Well, since you never come down here except to train the girls or do laundry. Don't see any little bints following you and no pile of clothes." Spike cocked his head and gave her a quizzical look.
"That's not true. I come down here for other stuff sometimes. We've talked before....." Buffy was shifting her weight, refusing to look at him.
"Alright, enough! What's put the ants in your pants, pet?" Spike stood up and walked toward her.
Buffy bit her lip. "I just.....oh God, is it terrible if I say I hate girls?" Spike squinted his eyes at her and then broke out in laughter. "I do! I know, it's awful, but I *hate* girls! They're so loud and giggly and.....annoying! I thought Dawn was a handful! My God, these girls are driving me insane! I can't stand them. And I can't stand that I'm responsible for them. I just want to send them all home, away from me! Arrrrggghhh!!" Buffy walked over to Spike's cot and threw herself down, her head in her hands.
When Spike got control of his laughter, he came and sat beside her. He patted her back, which quickly turned into a gentle rub. She didn't look up or stop him, she just let him comfort her. "Pet, why do you think I spend so much time down here? Girls have always been a bloody mystery to me, but lately I've been getting to know far too much about them! I know all the little boy groups they like, the trauma of a broken nail, the injustice of someone else using all the hairspray.....Bugger, I can even smell when each and every one is having her monthlies! After all that time I'd wished for women to become less of a mystery, now I'm bloody begging someone to put the mystery back in!"
Buffy looked up and giggled. "Yeah, I guess it must be hard for you and Giles. And Andrew, but he doesn't seem to mind it all that much. I have noticed that Giles' glasses cleanings have increased at an alarming rate these past few weeks."
Spike smiled at her, still rubbing her back. "Yeah, ol' Rupert's not used to living in a girl's dormitory, I'd wager. 'S why I hide out down here. I'll come when you call, but I mostly like the peace and quiet down here. You're welcome to it anytime you like, ya know.....your house 'n all."
Buffy shook her head. "God, was I like that when I was young? Well, you wouldn't know, but still.....I don't think I was that bad."
Spike stopped rubbing her back. He lifted his hand to her face, cupping her chin. "Hey, you're still young, ya know."
Buffy nuzzled her face into his hold for a moment before pulling back sheepishly. "I don't feel young. I'm old. I feel as old as you sometimes....."
Spike gave her a little smile as he returned his hand to her back. "Well, you look remarkably good for a 129 year old human."
"I don't know if I can do this, Spike. I mean, I've had a hard enough time looking after myself and Dawn. But all these girls.....they're counting on me. They expect me to be their leader and protector. I just.....God, it's so much responsibility."
Spike started rubbing her again, slowly and methodically. "Yeah, wouldn't be you for all the blood in.....um.....hmm, that one started out good.....Oh! For all the blood in a blood bank."
Buffy gave him a wry smile. "Oh, that one wasn't too obvious.....you're really off your game with the quips!"
"Must be all these damned female hormones running rampant. Taking out the edge in the Big Bad. I think I need to go kill something. Up for patrol tonight? Just you and me? We could leave the little girls with Giles for some research party or something."
"I don't know. I *could* use the break. And they've been training pretty hard.....Sure, let's do it! How about you meet me upstairs in an hour. I'll go fill Giles in on the plans."
"Sounds good, luv." Spike gave her back one last, long stroke. His hand brushed her butt as she stood up. She looked down at him and raised her eyebrow. "What? Not my fault, no one told you to rub yourself all over my hand!" Buffy turned, indignant. Spike stood up, halting the verbal momentum he could see she was building. "Ah ah, now Slayer. No use wasting time arguing with me, you know I always win. Or at least I always win the arguments that you don't end by punching me in the nose!"
"Hey! I haven't punched you in the nose in a long time! But if you're looking to refresh that memory, I'd be happy to help." Buffy balled up her fist and pulled it back menacingly.
Spike cocked his head and looked at her through hooded eyes. "You really want to do that, pet? You know with us, violence only begets sex....."
Buffy thought about this, crossed her arms and then looked earnestly at Spike. "It used to, didn't it? Violence and sex.....it was all the same damned thing to us."
Spike shrugged his shoulders. "You never had any complaints."
Buffy looked at him hard. "I seem to remember having a complaint about our last encounter."
Spike's face went cold, then sad. "Yeah.....I, I didn't forget, you know. I just thought you were talking about all the other times."
"I'm talking about it all. All of it. It was sick.....and unhealthy for both of us."
Spike sat down on his cot. "Well, we don't have to worry about that anymore, do we? No violence, no sex.....we're safe from the evil that was Spuffy....."
"Spuffy?" Buffy looked at him, confused.
"Ah, uh....us....Spike, Buffy.....Spuffy.....it's just what I.....ah, bugger, you know a bloke gets lonely and his mind starts to wander down here in the dank."
Buffy giggled. "Spuffy, huh? And I thought you liked it down here, alone."
"I do! I wouldn't complain if you visited a bit more though." Spike looked shyly at the floor.
"Hey, that door opens both ways, ya know. Well, ok, it actually only opens the one way, but you know what I mean."
"Yeah, well, the girls, ya know. And I could even deal with them for a bit, if they didn't have this silly habit of liking natural light in the house all the time."
It was Buffy's turn to look shy. "Well, ya know.....if you get lonely and want to talk.....my room has thick curtains. I could be persuaded to close them if you came up for a chat sometime. Anytime....."
Spike looked up at Buffy as she headed toward the stairs. "I might take you up on that offer, pet."
Buffy nodded as she walked up to the door. "Ok.....patrolling in an hour?"
"I'll be there."
Buffy smiled as she closed the door behind her. "I know....."
**
R&R I'm a fiend!!