This is a oneshot which directly follows the storyline from the Desires Of Haruhi Suzumiya, my other fanfic. Therefore it is advised that you read that before reading this one.
Disclaimer - I do not own the characters of Haruhi Suzumiya, duh...
I am not exactly a person who gets flustered easily, but looking at the mirror and seeing an image of me dressed up in a tuxedo which was quite frankly oversized and looked ridiculous on me - well I couldn't help but feel as if I was about to embarrass myself. I'm probably a bit vague here; I should explain how I found myself in this precarious situation.
By good fortune or bad, considering on how you look at it, I was now Haruhi Suzumiya's boyfriend. Now you would probably think why I would be so unhappy and grumpy about that, I mean she's certainly easy on the eye and we love each other, so you'd probably think I'm being paranoid. But I know better, because inside that beautiful exterior lies a devil so evil and unforgiving that I shudder thinking about it. Sometimes I really think that Haruhi is some kind of Devil Incarnate, but I digress. The fact of the matter is that as penalty for quitting the Brigade temporarily, I was supposed to take her out to Aragawa's, the most expensive restaurant in town. Now I don't think I am a measly person by any means, but Aragawa is a place where the richest people in Japan dine, so you really can't expect me to take her there and show her a good time. I mean it's not like I'm loaded with money or anything. Thus I tried doing the impossible. In other words, I tried changing Haruhi's mind :
"Umm Haruhi, you weren't really serious about that thing right?" I asked her tentatively.
"What thing?" said Haruhi while looking up from the computer. We were the only two in the clubroom at that time. Stop thinking what you're thinking you perverts, it's nothing like that!
"The whole dinner at Aragawa's thing, it was all just a joke right?" I said, hoping against hope that my prediction came out to be correct.
"Kyon, do I ever joke around?" asked Haruhi as she got up from her chair and looked at me with a stern gaze while she put her hands on her hips.
"Well, you do realize that it is the most expensive restaurant in town right? At the rate at which I spend my money I probably won't be able to afford college!"
"Then you should have thought about that before leaving the Brigade!" said Haruhi while bringing her finger to my face. I guess that there was no way out then…..
"Is there any way you're going to change your mind?" I asked, almost pleadingly.
"Hmm, let me think about it," said Haruhi while adopting a thoughtful expression. Maybe she would just get some sense in her thick head for once…..
"NOPE! You're going to take me out to Aragawa's Kyon, and you'd better show me a good time! Otherwise it's the death penalty!"
With now seemingly no way out, I decided to turn to other sources of help. While Nagato is a great help most of the times, I didn't really think that she could offer much in this situation. It was probably best to keep Asahina-san out of this too. Thus with absolutely no option left I was forced to approach a man who I really didn't want to on this matter.
"Hey Koizumi, can I borrow some money?" I asked him, trying to keep my tone casual. I found him on the roof during break time at school. Koizumi surprisingly raised an eyebrow, but quickly replaced it with his trademark smile.
"Normally I would love to help you, but as far as financial matters are concerned I am afraid that I can offer you no assistance on the matter," said Koizumi.
"Oh come on! Your Organization must be loaded with money! I'm sure you guys can lend me a bit, considering it involves keeping Haruhi happy!"
"I must confess I was not aware of that. However before advancing the money, I must ask you the exact purpose of it," said Koizumi. His manner and style of talking reminded me of that of a tax official, which was never a good thing.
"Well, it's about taking Haruhi on that date to Aragawa's. I mean paying for all you guys in the café is one thing, but this…."
"Ahh, I wish I could help you, but as this is a personal matter between you and Suzumiya-san it's our policy not to intervene. After all, wasn't it you who made it clear that we were not to assist you in any way?" said Koizumi. The fact that he still had a smile on his face probably made matters worse.
"You damn bastard…" I muttered under my breath.
"Now now, I may not be able to help you with the money but I can help you choose what to wear and what to buy for Suzumiya-san. If what people say is correct I believe that I am quite good as far as all this is concerned," said Koizumi. And just like that I and Koizumi went shopping, together.
I can't believe I got myself into this…
I was now in the changing room of one of the clothing stores, trying on a very expensive looking formal suit for the event. After about 30 minutes of 'inspecting' the store, Koizumi finally picked this one out. Our attendant seemed quite pleased. My wallet however was not compliant.
Anyways, I changed into it and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I'm not one to praise myself or anything, but I admitted that it looked quite good on me. It was time to get the expert's opinion. I stepped out of my cubicle.
"Ahh, you look quite handsome in that suit. I think it fits you perfectly!" said Koizumi.
"Yes, I must agree with the gentleman here. It looks extremely good on you," said the attendant, obviously trying to push the sale through.
"Well, its OK I guess. How much will that be?" I asked. I'm pretty sure that the attendant answered my question as I saw him moving his mouth, but I didn't hear what came out of it. That must have been due to the shock of how big the figure he quoted was.
"I'm afraid that my friend over here cannot purchase this as it is out of his current budget. Could you perhaps show us something more cost-effective?" said Koizumi, trying to repair the situation. The attendant frowned slightly.
"That would depend on how your budget is," said the attendant. I glared at Koizumi and took out my wallet and showed the attendant the money I had kept aside for the suit. I could almost sense the disappointment eminating from him.
"Well, for a budget such as yours I recommend that you rent a suit instead of buying one. We have the rentals over there," he said while pointing towards the corner of the store. He also had a sudden urge to remove the expensive suit I was wearing as fast as possible. I had to oblige.
Koizumi and I then proceeded to walk up to the rentals, where there were a wide variety of choices based on price.
"Our earlier attempt did not turn out very well, but I'm sure that we'll manage to find something good that comes within your budget," said Koizumi, trying to lift my spirits.
"I certainly hope so," I said half-heartedly.
Turns out that I could afford only the cheapest tuxedo in the store. Yare Yare….
"Well now that we are done with the tuxedo, I suggest that we move on to the gifts," said Koizumi. GIFTS? Was he serious?
"Yes, I assume that Suzumiya-san like any other girl would like it if she receives some gift or token of appreciation," said Koizumi. That's where you're wrong, you are assuming that Haruhi is like any other girl which is like saying that the Sun revolves around the Earth. What do you have in mind anyways?
"I was thinking something along the lines of flowers," said Koizumi, still smiling.
Wait…..did he just say FLOWERS!
"Trust me, I think Suzumiya-san will like them." And so he convinced me to go the florist and buy a bunch of red roses. I couldn't believe I was going to give them to Haruhi, she'd probably just throw them away without giving them a second glance. But I decided to humor Koizumi.
We finally finished with our shopping, and I decided to thank Koizumi for his help, no matter how minuscule and insignificant it was.
"No need to thank me. I am doing merely what I can," said Koizumi. Yeah right…..
And this is how I find myself in the bathroom clad in an ill-fitting tuxedo looking like an absolute idiot. I had half a mind to skip the dinner and bear Haruhi's wrath.
"Kyon, come out already! You're late for your date with Haru-chan!" shouted my sister. Why is it that my own family members want to embarrass me I shall never know. I stepped out of the door. My sister proceeded to look at me for a full 30 seconds before bursting out into uncontrollable laughter. I decided to ignore her and took the bunch of flowers and hopped onto my bike.
Yes, I was riding on my bike wearing a tuxedo. I must have looked like an absolute idiot because people were looking at me and pointing towards me. However I was oblivious to all of this, I had far more pressing matters on my hands. Haruhi had given me directions to her house, and considering it was my first time there I felt pretty nervous. The location itself was in a posh area of the city. Haruhi was probably extremely rich, and that just made me feel like more of an idiot in my stupid cheap tuxedo. This was going to be bad…
I steered my bicycle through the various streets and finally landed up in the locality specified by her. It seemed that my guess was correct, the bungalows around here seemed pretty big and expensive. Some people, whom I assumed to be the residents of this area looked at me with a disapproving glance. Gee, thanks for making me feel worse, I appreciate it. After some scrambling I finally managed to locate Haruhi's house.
It was actually pretty ordinary. Well, ordinary in comparison to the other houses around here. I always expected Haruhi's house to be weird, some alien attracting hub or something, but it seems that she thought of keeping her house relatively normal. It was still a huge house though, easily dwarfing mine. That just added to my apprehension as I stepped down from my bike, took the flowers and went towards her front door. I took a deep breath and called the bell.
At that point I realized that there was a chance that her parents could open the door and in case that happened I had absolutely no idea how to deal with the situation. I had no idea of how Haruhi's parents were, and I was really keen not to make a bad first impression. But my fears were soon put to rest as the door opened with a bang.
"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? You kept the Brigade Chief waiting for 10 whole minutes, PENALTY!" screamed Haruhi. I would have come up with some type of witty and sarcastic comeback but I just stood there with my mouth hung open, gaping like an idiot. Haruhi looked every bit of the goddess she was. She was dressed in a pink evening strapless gown which complemented her curves perfectly. It went down to her ankles, and there was a long opening throughout the leg on one side. The high heels she was wearing added to her look. She had her hair tied up in a bun and carried a small formal bag.
In other words, she looked simply ravishing.
"Earth to Kyon, are you even listening? Aargh, you're so useless!" said Haruhi while putting her hands on her hips. At that point I realized that I was staring at her for ages. I must have looked pretty stupid at that point.
"Err, umm these are some flowers for you!" I said quickly while presenting them in front of her. I didn't get a proper look at Haruhi's face but I could have sworn that I saw a blush. But it probably must have been my imagination, because the very next minute she snatched the flowers out of my hand and looked at me.
"BORING! Seriously Kyon, of all things you had to go and get me flowers, something that'll just wilt and die in a few days?" said Haruhi while chucking the flowers inside her house on what I assume was the couch. But before I could get a better look at her house she grabbed my hand and yanked me away.
"We're already late Kyon, I'm not going to waste any more time! Now where is the limo?" she demanded. Limo, you must be kidding me! I hardly have enough money to scrape through a few meals at Aragawa's and she expects me to rent a limo? Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but a cycle it is.
"A CYCLE? Kyon, do you expect me to go to Aragawa's on a cycle? What in the world is wrong with you?" Haruhi said. Well it's not like you have to manage the expenses or anything. If it bothers you so much we should just go walking, it's not that far anyways.
"Let's go then!" said Haruhi while marching forward. I should really learn to keep my big mouth shut sometimes…..
We were walking side by side with me dragging my cycle along, primarily due to the fact that Haruhi couldn't exactly run in these high heels of hers which suited me just fine. On the other hand, I was really nervous. It was my first time walking side by side with a girl under the moonlight, so you couldn't really blame me for feeling a bit awkward.
"What's wrong with you Kyon, you seem a bit uptight to me," said Haruhi. Damn she's sharp!
"Umm it's nothing, really!" I said in an attempt to bury the topic. Haruhi though must have looked through my pathetic acting as she smirked.
"You're not nervous are you? Wait let me guess, is this your first ever date!" asked Haruhi in a mocking tone. This was great, just great…..
"Yeah ok fine, it is, and it's something I'm not exactly proud about. It's not like I have your experience, considering that you've gone out with virtually every guy who's asked you out!" As soon as I said this Haruhi seemed a bit hurt and she withdrew from me. Needless to say I was perturbed by this, but before I could say anything…
"T-That was different ok?" said Haruhi in a soft voice while looking away from me. "Those guys were idiots, I made a mistake even considering going out with them. You're…you're different. You mean far more to me than any of them did." I was surprised by her reaction, I didn't expect such a small comment to have such an emotional impact on her. I put my hands on her shoulders and looked at her.
"Hey, I'm sorry ok? I didn't mean anything like that. Now let's leave that aside and have a great time!" I said attempting to bolster her spirits. It had the desired effect, as she brightened up, held my arm and started sprinting in full speed.
I said that Haruhi couldn't run in high heels right? Guess I was wrong….
We finally made our way to Aragawa's, where we were led to a table for two which was located in the far corner of the restaurant. The restaurant itself was fancy-looking and beautifully decorated, with ornate decorations and an imposing yet hospitable aura to it. There were huge drapes that hung on either side of the walls, and the place was pretty packed with various couples. And it looked as if it was a candle-light dinner occasion. Haruhi though seemed unperturbed and called for the menu as soon as we were seated.
"Don't worry Kyon, I usually don't have much for dinner," said Haruhi while tapping her foot, waiting for the menu. That's pretty hard to believe considering how she eats at the café when I'm forced to pay for everybody. I just hoped that tonight would be different.
I was startled when the menu was brought though, as the prices were a great deal higher than I had anticipated. Haruhi though didn't seem to notice anything as she continued to through the menu deciding on what to eat. As far as I was concerned, one look at the menu convinced me that I was not going to have anything more than a mutton chop. At that time Haruhi said something that I was dreading for so long.
"I'm not going to have much, maybe just some salmon if they have it," said Haruhi with a straight face. Well, it was early in the year for salmon and it was not on the menu, but I asked the waiter if there was any. Yes, a beautiful salmon had just come in, it was the first they had had. With a heavy heart I ordered it for Haruhi, it wasn't as if I had a choice in the matter anyways. The waiter asked her if she would have something while it was being cooked. "No", she answered, "I never eat more than one thing, unless you had a little caviar. I never mind caviar."
My heart sank a little. I knew I could not afford caviar, but I didn't have the guts to tell her that. Reluctantly I told the waiter to bring caviar. As for myself, I only ordered the mutton chop I had decided on.
"I think you're stupid to eat meat Kyon," she said. "I don't know how you can expect to sleep well after eating heavy things like chops. I don't believe in overloading my stomach." Yeah Haruhi, that's just great. On one hand you say that you won't eat that much and on the other you blame me for ordering one measly chop. Hypocrisy in its true form….
She ate the caviar and she ate the salmon without a care in the world, but I wondered what the bill would come to. When my mutton chop arrived she took me quite seriously to task.
"Kyon, you shouldn't really eat such a heavy lunch! I'm sure it's a mistake. Why don't you follow my example and just eat one thing? I'm sure you'd feel far better if you follow my advice!"
"I am only going to eat one thing," I said as the waiter came again with the menu.
She waved him aside with an airy gesture.
"No, no, I never eat anything for dinner. Just a bite, I never want more than that, and I eat that more as an excuse for conversation than anything else. I couldn't possibly eat anything more—unless they had some of those giant asparagus!" said Haruhi while grinning broadly.
My heart sank. I had seen them in the shops and I knew that they were damn expensive. My mouth had often watered at the sight of them.
"Madam wants to know if you have any of those giant asparagus," I asked the waiter.
I tried with all my might to will him to say no. A happy smile spread over his broad, priest-like face, and he assured me that they had some so large, so splendid, so tender, that it was a marvel.
"I'm not in the least hungry," Haruhi sighed, "But if you insist I don't mind having some asparagus." Damn you Haruhi, stop putting words into my mouth! I never insisted that, never!
Unfortunately I had no other choice but to follow her wishes. After all, she was the resident goddess around here…..
"Aren't you going to have any?" asked Haruhi in an innocent tone. What the hell was she playing at here?
"No, I never eat asparagus." I replied bluntly.
"I know there are people who don't like them. The fact is, you ruin your appetite by all the meat you eat," said Haruhi. I'm pretty sure that it's not because of the meat that I've lost my appetite; my moaning wallet more than guarantees that.
We waited for the asparagus to be cooked. Panic seized me. It was not a question now how much money I should have left after this dinner, but whether I had enough to pay the bill. It would be disastrous to find myself short on money and try to borrow from Haruhi. I could not bring myself to do that, it was a matter of male pride over here. I knew exactly how much I had and if the bill came to more I made up my mind that I would put my hand in my pocket and with a dramatic cry stand up and say it had been picked. Of course it would be awkward if she too did not have enough money to pay the bill. Then the only thing would be to leave my watch and say I would come back and pay later. How do I manage to get myself into these types of situations…..?
The asparagus appeared. They were enormous, succulent and appetising. The smell of the melted butter tickled my nostrils as the nostrils of Jehovah were tickled by the burned offerings of the virtuous Semites. I watched the abandoned woman thrust them down her throat in large voluptuous mouthfuls, without even sparing a thought for my wallet. We made some light conversation regarding the upcoming Brigade activities, but my mind really wasn't on it. At last though she finished her meal.
"Coffee?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes, just an ice-cream and coffee," she answered. Damn it Haruhi, you should identify sarcasm! I was past caring now though, so I ordered coffee for myself and an ice-cream and coffee for her.
"You know, there's one thing I thoroughly believe in", she said, as she ate the ice-cream. "One should always get up from a meal feeling one could eat a little more." WHAT!
"Are you still hungry?" I asked faintly. This was turning into an absolute nightmare. Did she think that I was loaded with money or something?
"Oh, no, I'm not hungry, you see, I don't eat a heavy dinner. I have a cup of coffee and maybe some snacks, but I never eat more than one thing for dinner. I was speaking for you." This girl has officially lost her sanity, whatever of it she had left that is…..
"Oh, I see" I answered absent-mindedly
Then a terrible thing happened. While we were waiting for the coffee, the head waiter, with an ingratiating smile on his false face, came up to us bearing a large basket full of huge peaches. They had the blush of an innocent girl; they had the rich tone of an Italian landscape. But surely peaches were not in season then? God knew what they cost. I knew too—a little later, for Haruhi, going on with her conversation, absentmindedly took one.
"You see, you've filled your stomach with a lot of meat"—my one miserable little chop—"and you can't eat any more. But I've just had a snack and I shall enjoy a peach." Has she gone bonkers? I honestly think that somewhere someplace God really hates me.
But then I remembered that Haruhi was God. Great, my own girlfriend hates me, fantastic. She finally finished her meal, and needless to say I was in a complete state of panic. I was absolutely sure that I didn't have enough money to cover even half of the bill, and I'm sure Haruhi didn't have any money too. Putting it simply, we were screwed.
"I'll just be back!" said Haruhi while getting up and going towards the washroom. Great, now she was abandoning me at such a crucial time. Typical Haruhi behaviour. I contemplated calling up my parents and explaining the whole situation to them, but if they heard about how much I spent they would probably never give me money again. Just when I thought of how to get myself out of this mess however, I saw that Haruhi had collided with one of the waiters, which resulted in hot pasta dropping all over her.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? CAN'T YOU LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING?" screamed Haruhi on the top of her voice. Oh rapture, oh joy, she wasn't content with throwing my money away so now she wants to embarrass me in front of the whole restaurant. I facepalmed.
"I'm sorry Madam, I truly am!" said the waiter while apologizing profusely.
"Sorry isn't going to solve anything, get me the manager!" demanded Haruhi. This was getting a little out of hand now….
"I'm sorry Madam, but the manager isn't here right now. We'll find a way to make it up to you," said the head waiter, trying to come to his colleague's rescue.
"Sorry isn't going to solve anything! If you idiots can't even get the manager to deal with such a serious matter than you clearly don't know how to respect a customer! Kyon, let's go somewhere else where we're treated with proper respect!" she said while dragging me out of the restaurant by my arm while everyone looked on. Way to go Haruhi, you managed to make yourself the centre of attention again.
She dragged me out of the restaurant rather quickly and we made our way to where my bike was kept. Before I could say anything she forced me to get on it before following suit and sitting behind me.
"Pedal as you've never pedalled before, and let's get out of here fast!" whispered Haruhi.
"Wha-?" Before I could finish my question I saw two waiters running out of Aragawa's coming towards us at full speed.
"NOW!" shouted Haruhi while prodding me in the ribs. That was enough to jolt me into action and I started cycling as fast as I possibly could. As the two guys tried following is I thought about why they were doing so in the first place.
Wait….we didn't exactly pay for our meal did we?
"Exactly!" said Haruhi with a smirk while she stood up on the cycle using my shoulders as support. We must have looked pretty ridiculous right now, me in a tuxedo and she in her evening gown, running away from two waiters on a bicycle. Those 2 guys tried their best to follow us, but it was pretty easy to lose them as Haruhi told me what directions to go and what turns to take. It was her locality after all….
After following Haruhi's directions and making sure that the guys from Aragawa's didn't follow us on the way back, we finally made our way towards Haruhi's house. We got off the bicycle and I looked towards Haruhi with a questioning gaze.
"Did you actually plan all of this beforehand?" I asked Haruhi.
"Yup! I knew that the manager was not going to be at the restaurant so I planned the whole thing out. So I decided that I'd deliberately crash into one of the waiters and pretend that it was that guy's fault. Wasn't it cool!" Cool? That was the most idiotic and stupidest thing I have ever witnessed in my life! That is nothing short of stealing!
"Oh come on Kyon, don't be such a party pooper. Admit it, you had fun too didn't you?" asked Haruhi with a wide grin. As much as I hate admitting it though, I guess I did have fun. This is why I liked being with Haruhi, the unpredictably and sheer excitement that comes with being with her is second to none. But wasn't this taking it a bit too far?
"Well Kyon, maybe this will change your mind," said Haruhi while putting her arms around my neck and dragging me closer towards her. I felt myself leaning towards her and coming closer and closer to making contact with her. My muscles tensed up and sweat was pouring down my brow. I could smell the scent of her body from so close, and I prepared myself to lean in and close the remaining gap between us…..
Only to find that my lips made contact with thin air and I nearly stumbled down towards the ground. Haruhi had pulled herself away from me in a flash and she had her million-watt smile.
"Maybe next time Kyon!" she said with a wink, and turned away towards her house, closing the door behind her.
….I can't believe that just happened. Haruhi made me look like an absolute idiot there, why the hell did she do that? It was at times like this that I thought that was all of this really worth it? Was Haruhi really that special a person that I had to be her slave and listen to her every order only to be treated like a toy? Sometimes I really think about a question Taniguchi asked me, that why do I put up with her when I have the option of just walking away? What is it that compels me to stay by her side when all she does is ridicule me and mock me? Was all of this really worth the pain?
Just when I was debating with myself I saw Haruhi through her window. She didn't seem to notice me though, and I made sure that I was out of her line of sight. She had changed into her pyjamas and looked as if she just came out of a shower. She went towards the couch and picked up what seemed like the red roses that I had given her, and she took in their fragrance while hugging them. She then took an expensive looking vase from the dining table, filled water in them and put my flowers in them, holding them for one last time before setting it down at the dining table again. She then turned off the lights and headed up towards what I assumed was her room upstairs.
To say that I was surprised at what just happened would be a gross understatement. I decided to think about it later as I collected my cycle and made my way home.
As I cycled through the roads illuminated by the dim streetlights I had a huge number of questions in my mind. But I didn't really think about all of that, because at that time I was pretty sure of one thing – answering Taniguchi's question the next time I meet him.
Yes, it is worth it.
Hey guys, I'm back and I've tried writing some Haruhi/Kyon fluff for the first time, so forgive me if it isnt upto the expected standard. The dinner scene has been taken from 'The Luncheon' by William Somerset Maugham. So, here's me signing off until next time, please read and review!