Star Wars and the Holy Grail Episode 1:
The Ewoks Who Say...
SCENE ONE--------
[Han and Chewie are riding in imaginary Millenium Falcon, Chewie is making engine noises, they are in a forest on Endor, they come up to a giant ewok surrounded by a bunch of normal sized ewoks]
BIG EWOK: Halt! [Han and Chewie stop]
HAN: May I ask, good sir ewok, who are you?
BIG EWOK: We... are the ewoks who say... YUB YUB!!
[Dramatic music]
HAN: No! not the ewoks who say yub yub!
BIG EWOK: YUB!! [Big ewok and little ewoks all go into a chorus of yubs]
HAN: No! Please! No more! We simply want to go throught this forest!
BIG EWOK: Then we demand... a sacrifice!
HAN: What is it, O ewoks who say yub yub?
BIG EWOK: We demand... an R2 unit!
HAN: An R2 unit?
BIG EWOK: Yes, a blue one.
HAN: Of course, a blue one.
BIG EWOK: Well, actually it's white, but the trim is blue.
HAN: Yes, O ewoks.
[They turn around in imaginary Millenium Falcon and go back the way they came]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE TWO--------
[Han and Chewie are walking in a town, they come across Yoda]
HAN: Excuse me, old green person, but do you now where we can find an R2 unit?
[Dramatic Music]
YODA: No, R2 units we have not.
HAN: If you do not tell us where we can find an R2 unit we will say... yub yub to you.
YODA: Never! Your worst you do!
HAN: Very well then. Yub! Yub!
CHEWIE: Rub!
HAN: No, it's yub.
CHEWIE: Rub.
HAN: Yub.
CHEWIE: Yub.
HAN: That's it. Yub!
[Ben Kenobi comes by]
BEN: Are you saying yub to that muppet?
YODA: A muppet I am not!
BEN: To that old green person that looks like a muppet?
YODA: Look like a muppet I do not!
[Ben motions to somebody off-camera, they come and replace Yoda with a green sockpuppet]
HAN: Yes we were.
BEN: Tis a sad time when people can go around saying yub to muppets. Even I, a Jedi Knight-
HAN: Hey, R2 units seem to follow you guys around. do you have a blue one?
BEN: Yes I do. [Brings Artoo-Detoo in] It's a stubborn piece of crap though.
HAN: That's okay, we don't really care.
ARTOO: [Mournful whistle]
--------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE FIVE, ER, THREE--------
[Han and Chewie (with Artoo) come back to the ewoks]
BIG EWOK: Halt!
HAN: O ewoks who say yub yub, we have brought the R2 unit you requested. Now let us pass as you
promised.
BIG EWOK: We remember no such promise. We are no longer the ewoks who say yub yub. We are now the ewoks that say... AICHIE MAMA!!
HAN: That's very nice, but will you please let us pass?
BIG EWOK: We demand... another R2 unit!
HAN: We already brought you one!
BIG EWOK: Yes but this time we want a red one.
A BUNCH OF LITTLE EWOKS: Red! Red!
HAN: No! BIG EWOK: Oh please?
HAN: No! [Luke comes flying an imaginary X-wing, See-Threepio is following him singing]
THREEPIO: (Singing) Brave Master Luke, bravely whined and whined and whined!
LUKE: I didn't! I didn't I didn't I didn't!! WAAAAAAHH!!!!
HAN: Luke, what are you doing here?
LUKE: Oh nothing.
BIG EWOK: [Jumping up and down] Please bring a red R2 unit!
HAN: Eh, screw this. [Takes out his blaster and shoots the big ewok, the little ewoks scatter] Come on lets go. [They leave]
TO BE CONTINUED...
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Wars or Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
The Ewoks Who Say...
SCENE ONE--------
[Han and Chewie are riding in imaginary Millenium Falcon, Chewie is making engine noises, they are in a forest on Endor, they come up to a giant ewok surrounded by a bunch of normal sized ewoks]
BIG EWOK: Halt! [Han and Chewie stop]
HAN: May I ask, good sir ewok, who are you?
BIG EWOK: We... are the ewoks who say... YUB YUB!!
[Dramatic music]
HAN: No! not the ewoks who say yub yub!
BIG EWOK: YUB!! [Big ewok and little ewoks all go into a chorus of yubs]
HAN: No! Please! No more! We simply want to go throught this forest!
BIG EWOK: Then we demand... a sacrifice!
HAN: What is it, O ewoks who say yub yub?
BIG EWOK: We demand... an R2 unit!
HAN: An R2 unit?
BIG EWOK: Yes, a blue one.
HAN: Of course, a blue one.
BIG EWOK: Well, actually it's white, but the trim is blue.
HAN: Yes, O ewoks.
[They turn around in imaginary Millenium Falcon and go back the way they came]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE TWO--------
[Han and Chewie are walking in a town, they come across Yoda]
HAN: Excuse me, old green person, but do you now where we can find an R2 unit?
[Dramatic Music]
YODA: No, R2 units we have not.
HAN: If you do not tell us where we can find an R2 unit we will say... yub yub to you.
YODA: Never! Your worst you do!
HAN: Very well then. Yub! Yub!
CHEWIE: Rub!
HAN: No, it's yub.
CHEWIE: Rub.
HAN: Yub.
CHEWIE: Yub.
HAN: That's it. Yub!
[Ben Kenobi comes by]
BEN: Are you saying yub to that muppet?
YODA: A muppet I am not!
BEN: To that old green person that looks like a muppet?
YODA: Look like a muppet I do not!
[Ben motions to somebody off-camera, they come and replace Yoda with a green sockpuppet]
HAN: Yes we were.
BEN: Tis a sad time when people can go around saying yub to muppets. Even I, a Jedi Knight-
HAN: Hey, R2 units seem to follow you guys around. do you have a blue one?
BEN: Yes I do. [Brings Artoo-Detoo in] It's a stubborn piece of crap though.
HAN: That's okay, we don't really care.
ARTOO: [Mournful whistle]
--------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE FIVE, ER, THREE--------
[Han and Chewie (with Artoo) come back to the ewoks]
BIG EWOK: Halt!
HAN: O ewoks who say yub yub, we have brought the R2 unit you requested. Now let us pass as you
promised.
BIG EWOK: We remember no such promise. We are no longer the ewoks who say yub yub. We are now the ewoks that say... AICHIE MAMA!!
HAN: That's very nice, but will you please let us pass?
BIG EWOK: We demand... another R2 unit!
HAN: We already brought you one!
BIG EWOK: Yes but this time we want a red one.
A BUNCH OF LITTLE EWOKS: Red! Red!
HAN: No! BIG EWOK: Oh please?
HAN: No! [Luke comes flying an imaginary X-wing, See-Threepio is following him singing]
THREEPIO: (Singing) Brave Master Luke, bravely whined and whined and whined!
LUKE: I didn't! I didn't I didn't I didn't!! WAAAAAAHH!!!!
HAN: Luke, what are you doing here?
LUKE: Oh nothing.
BIG EWOK: [Jumping up and down] Please bring a red R2 unit!
HAN: Eh, screw this. [Takes out his blaster and shoots the big ewok, the little ewoks scatter] Come on lets go. [They leave]
TO BE CONTINUED...
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Wars or Monty Python and the Holy Grail.