Paradise
Disclaimer- I do not own Paradise by Vanessa Carlton
A/N- Originally I had this as a string of one-parters along with Princess, but I decided to seperate them.
Rory had been waiting for seven months, wondering when Tristan was going to come back. Waiting to here in the Hartford gossip mills 'Tristan Dugrey the hooligan is back. His parents must have been really nice to let him come back'. Rory was sick of waiting, sick of wondering every day if she would get a call from Paris saying "Tristan's back!" with an excited voice different from her usual bellicose mood. Sometimes she even believed it was a dream, that one day she would wake up, go to Chilton, and Tristan would be there as always, making out on her locker, and making her day miserable. Rory actually realized Tristan did not indeed make her miserable, he made her feel alive.
Soon after Tristan left, Rory was very sullen. Moping around school, simply not caring who taunted her, or who hit on her. She missed the bright morning banters, the innuendos, the not-so-subtle glances he would give her, getting yelled at for looking at her ear. She wanted that, no she needed him. Rory broke up with Dean soon after the play, realizing her only love was Tristan, but she ruined her chance. So, she decided to become absolutely no-strings attached to anyone, so if Tristan ever did come back, she could be with him right away.
But that never happened.
Rory thought maybe he would come back for Senior Year, maybe his parents would let him spend Senior Year here, and not in North Carolina so far away. But the first day of Senior year, Tristan wasn't there, now was he? Nor the second, or third day, and that's how Rory became like this:
Once upon a year gone by
She saw herself give in
Everytime she closed her eyes
She saw what could have been
Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds
When covers tucked in tight
Funny when the bottom drops
She forgets to fight
To fight
Rory parked her new BMW, recently given to her by her grandparents. The old Rory would have shyly declined, but the new Rory just took it with her new greedy little paws. Rory was no longer the sweet, shy girl who blushed at any look coming her way, any innuendo said to her. Rory now embraced any look, she winked, or had a flirty innuendo right back. Tristan would have been crushed to see Rory like this, but Tristan was not here, was he? Rory was officially called the "Sugar" Queen of Chilton. She would never go all the way, not for anyone, Rory was saving herself for Tristan, but nobody knew that. They all thought it was just a game to her, to see who could manipulate her enough to let her give it up. Nobody succeeded. It was Tristan's right to claim, but there was no Tristan to claim his Rory's virginity, now was he?
Rory walked into the school, her skirt inches above her knees, white fishnet knee highs, and Manolo Blahnik black stilettos, also given to her by her grandmother. Rory let her grandmother shop for her, after all, this new transformation needed money. Her shirt had the first three buttons undone, and her tie undone, wrapped around her neck. Her hair was now a deep red-brown, in soft waves. No longer did she only apply clear lip gloss and mascara. Oh no, she was going full-on eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, blush and deep red lipstick. She was now a 'Summer,' most people thought. Many did see the resemblance between the two. Maybe that's why Tristan went out with her, most thought, but they never said anything like that around Rory. Tristan was never mentioned around Rory. Then, Rory would automatically have the school turn on that person, and they would instantly lose any status they ever had.
Rory was putting her books away when a guy came up and turned Rory around, kissing her as soon as he could. Rory imagined it was Tristan. His soft lips she was kissing. His silky, messy, hair she ran her fingers through. His tongue exploring her mouth. His back she grippedwith her hands. But nobody could ever compare to Tristan. Nobody was even close.
"Hey baby," the guy said, Rory inwardly groarned instantly.
"Hi Trevor," Rory smiled sweetly, as the guy moved to the side so she could continue to put her books away.
"Are we going to that party tonight?" Trevor asked. Trevor always hated Tristan, because Tristan always took everything that Trevor wanted. Trevor wanted Summer, but Tristan got her. Trevor wanted the King of Chilton status, but Tristan got that. Now he had Rory, which Tristan never got. He wanted to be the one to make Rory the 'madgalene'. If Tristan ever came back, Trevor would still be King of Chilton, because this was bigger than anything Tristan ever did. Trevor wanted to get Rory's virginity. That's why he really wanted to go to this party, he would take her to a room, lock the door, and wouldn't let her out until she gave it up.
"I guess so," Rory shrugged, but on the inside, she knew what Trevor wanted.
"Great, pick you up at 8," Trevor quickly kissed her, and went down the hall, Rory going the other way.
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
As darkness quickly steals the light
That shined within her eyes
She slowly swallows all her fear
And soothes her mind with lies
Well, all she wants and all she needs
Are reasons to survive
A day in which the sun will take her artificial light
Her light
And it's one more day in paradise
One more day in paradise
It's one more day in paradise
One last chance to feel alright
Alright
Rory finally gave up all hope of Tristan ever coming back. He probably wanted to live there, far away from her. Tristan hated her, she convinced herself, he never, ever loved, or even could stand your existance. He merely thought you existed to have somebody to annoy, to have somebody's locker to make out on. That's all he ever did, right? He didn't have feelings for anyone. He was stone cold, with a heart smaller than the Grinch's.
Her blue eyes became duller by the day, Lorelai could tell. Her kid was miserable, and she could do nothing to help. She couldn't convince another kid's parents to send their kid back from military school, she couldn't tell another set of parents how to take care of their kid. They needed to learn on their own. Rory's eyes once shone brightly, and even though Rory complained of her long, exhausting day bothered by Tristan, Lorelai saw the light that shone in her eyes. Now that was gone, and now her eyes could be mistaken for gray. Some asked if she had gotten color contacts and most of the time she snapped back 'No!'
Rory decided she didn't love Tristan either. He wasn't worth all of her time consumption. She would bottle up her feelings, and push them far, far back into her mind with all the other things she decided she hated, like Dean, and the Backstreet Boys. She never thought about them anymore, except for this instance. She would give up her virginity tonight. One day, maybe she'll grow to love Trevor, just like she loved- oh wait, she never truly loved anyone, now did she?
Don't pretend to hold it in, just let it out
Don't pretend to hold it in, just push it out
Don't you try to hold it in, just let it out
Don't you try to hold it in, hold it in
A/N- I thought that was really angsty, if you ask me. So anyway, review please!