A/N: This is a fic I wrote as a bunch of scenes I wanted to appear in canon, but didn't. The idea I had was, how Severus would react with Harry, at certain parts in canon, if he was his father. Here, I have formulated a scene or two from each year (each chapter is its own year) where Severus and Harry interact as they would if they were father and son. Usually it involves some major plot point in canon; sometimes it's simply fluff, and slight angst. You won't find much plot or character development in this (not much) since these are primarily one-shots.
For the first chapter, I decided not to have the scene as part of anything that happened during the school year since the Professor and Harry's relationship would only have been improving during that time, allowing it to come to the point I am writing now. As a Severitus fic, this will be focusing on moments between Harry and his father, as what is to follow, so in regards to how they achieved this relationship, I deemed it not important. I understand it's not usually how these fics go, but considering the amount of stories written on this topic, I'm sure you guys can find a plausible way that Severus got to know Harry and eventually care for him. I apologize for any OOCness, I am trying to keep everyone in character, but there inevitably will be some changes.
Now, enough of my blabbing, on to the chapter!
Foolish boy, Severus thought, hurrying through the castle corridors, foolish boy. So intent on his task was he, that he didn't notice Albus coming towards him, until he passed him and heard his name being called out. Turning, he prepared to snap at the old man, when the Headmaster said,
"No need to rush, Severus. Harry is quite safe." Unbeknownst to him, Severus's heart immediately calmed its frantic beating.
"Where is he?" he growled.
"Resting in the Hospital Wing, recovering from his ordeal. Perhaps you should—"
Severus waited not to hear what the old man had to say, spinning on his heel he continued down the corridor, heading for his new destination.
He reached the Infirmary in record time, stopping before the doors to catch his breath. Composed once more, Severus entered the Hospital Wing, eyes searching and landing on a mess of dark hair on a boy essentially buried beneath his blankets, surrounded by mountains of sweets and other get-well gifts. The young wizard was indeed asleep, nestled in under the covers, though his expression was not the one of rest Severus expected to see. The boy never seemed to rest completely contentedly, something Severus had noticed over the course of the year.
It was strange; considering the changes that'd occurred between them since the year had begun. Harry had come to Hogwarts a lonely, lost, little boy, who barely trusted the sky to stay above his head. He was a boy Severus had despised, something that caused him deep regret now. At the moment, Harry was still that lonely boy, but there was so much more to him that Severus now knew about and wanted to help him with.
Severus himself had undergone changes also. He'd started out the year as the man he'd been for the past decade; bitter, cold, angry, even lonely as well, just like the boy asleep on the bed in front of him. Severus was reminded of their first classes together and how he'd treated Harry, a flash of guilt coursing through him at the memory. It had been immature, unnecessarily cruel and just plain wrong. If Severus examined himself, he'd find he was proud of the way their relationship had progressed up to this point, where looking down on him now, Severus felt a fierce protectiveness in his core, one he intended to preserve.
Studying the boy in his sleep and the lack of peace on his face, Severus thought, I want to do more for you. It was strange how the sentiment brought relief to the tightness in his chest, allowing him to breathe more deeply. Leaving the child to his rest, Severus returned to his quarters and began planning exactly how he would help Harry.
As soon as he was released from the Hospital Wing, Severus sent him a message through one of his Ravenclaw students to come meet Severus in his quarters. Later that day, at the sound of a soft knock at the door, Severus bid Harry come in and to make himself comfortable on the couch across from him. Severus had thought long and hard on what more he could do to protect and aid the child. One issue was that Severus lacked the authority to keep a firmer watch on the boy, keep him out of harm's way. Another concern was the upcoming summer holiday and the matter concerning who would be taking the boy in. After finding out about the absolute inadequacy – to put it lightly – of the care of Harry's relatives, new arrangements had to be made. The more Severus had contemplated the issue and possible solutions, the more he became convinced there was only one simple solution. Well, it wasn't strictly simple, and Merlin – it certainly wouldn't be easy, not to mention how unprepared Severus was, or how it might not even work, or that Harry had to agree first, which would be a miracle onto itself… Severus forced himself to stop spiraling and just get it over with. Deciding he was too nervous to sit, he opted to continue standing and took a deep breath before beginning.
"Harry, you remember, near the start of the year, when I said I would take you away from the Dursleys' care?" he nearly choked over the last word, but forced himself to remain calm. Harry nodded, unsure as to where this was going.
"Well, with the summer hols approaching, we need to find someone to take you in. Considering the rapport we have built up over the past year, I thought to inquire whether you would be amenable to staying with me." Severus waited for the inevitable screaming in terror or some similar reaction and was stunned when it didn't come. If that surprised him, he was soon floored by Harry's soft response,
"Yes." The word was spoken so softly, Severus barely caught it, and still he assumed he'd heard wrong. The emotions on Harry's face confused him further. Some mix of shock, adulation and gratitude. Needing to be certain, Severus queried, barely willing to believe the boy would acquiesce,
"Are you sure you want this, Harry?"
Harry nodded emphatically. "No one's ever offered to care for me before. And I know it's just for protection and so I'll have somewhere to spend the summer, but it's nothing like the Dursleys ever—"
"I will never treat you as those savages did. I give you my word."
Harry nodded again, clearly convinced. Severus sighed out quietly in relief. He'd had no idea how nervous he'd been that Harry would refuse him. Nodding, himself, and sending the child back to him dorm, Severus collapsed in one of the armchairs by the fire. This was certainly a big change and would no doubt cause many problems to arise for Severus to deal with, but he found he could not regret his decision one bit.
The end of term arrived and Severus was in Albus's office filling out the paperwork necessary to apply for guardianship. Given strict instructions not to inform anyone he would not be returning to the Dursleys as expected, Harry said goodbye to his friends, and headed to Dumbledore's office, where they would be flooing to Severus's home. Severus was just finishing the last of paperwork, standing up as Harry entered.
"All ready, Harry?" he inquired upon the young wizard's entrance. Harry nodded; eager to see his new guardian's home. Using the Floo in Dumbledore's office, in mere moments, they stepped into the living room of Spinner's End.
Though Severus thoroughly detested everything to do with his childhood home, living in it only for convenience, Harry's eyes wandered this way and that, marveling at everything they perceived. For Harry, this house, with its dusty rugs, thick curtains, slightly mismatched furniture, and general lack of sterility, was a warm welcome, to the cold, clean house of his aunt. This house was cozy, and although at the moment it felt unlived in, Harry knew with a good cleaning and a fire set in the fireplace, it would feel very warm.
Severus gave him a display of the house; the kitchen, with both its wizard and muggle appliances; the living room, armchairs strung about the room, and two sofas; and the laboratory, which he was not to enter without express permission. There was Severus's office, and, to his great delight, a library. He hoped the bookshelves held many a fantasy book he could lose himself in. Fighting a smile at the look of awe on Harry's face, Severus led them upstairs, pointing out the doors to his room and the bathroom, respectively, before opening the door to Harry's room. Harry stepped over the threshold gingerly, moving through the room with a kind of reverence, taking it all in. Wow, he thought, a whole room, just for me. With a real bed, a desk, a wardrobe, and a closet. Even a bookcase. I'm so lucky to get to stay here. Of course, it's not really mine, not to keep, but I'd love to have this room even just for the summer. Putting his things down on the floor, Harry walked up to the bed and gingerly touched the covers. Turning towards his teacher, he said,
"Thank you, Professor. For all this."
"You're very welcome, Harry," Severus replied simply, leaving him alone to unpack while he headed downstairs to get started on supper. Yes, he mused, this could work.
Severus was at a loss as to what he should get Harry for his birthday. Obviously, the boy had never had a real birthday before – something Severus was determined to remedy – and would be elated at receiving anything at all; however, Severus wanted to get him something truly special, something that indicated how much Harry meant to him.
So far, they'd spent about a month together, and Severus was pleased at the feeling of kinship gradually growing between them. Reminiscing on the past few weeks, Severus flashed on a moment that'd occurred not a week before.
Knowing Harry had been growing tired of being cooped up in the house all day – much as he liked spending time with Severus – the Potions Master acquainted Harry with a park not far from his home, where he would be allowed to play. Harry immediately latched on to this and seemed eager to go. Unfortunately, Severus had been quite busy with a potion that day and could not afford to take the child. Reluctant to deprive the boy of some fun outdoors, Severus debated letting him go on his own. After much consideration, factoring in strangers, dark wizards, or mishaps of any kind, Severus decided, though precocious and prone to perilous predicaments, Harry could handle a sortie to a park a few blocks away, one well within the limits of Severus's wards, where he would be allowed to frolic for a few hours. However, as much as he knew the child would be safe, that did not stop him from fussing over the boy, minutes before he left; making sure he had his wand in his pocket and knew to return at the first sign of trouble. This was the first time Harry would be on his own since coming to live with him, and he was more than a little reluctant to let him go. After ensuring, for the third time, that Harry knew exactly how to get there and back from the playground, Harry let out an exasperated,
"Da-ad!" immediately, they both froze. Harry was the first to move, ducking his head as he occupied himself with doing up the buttons on his jacket.
"Right," Severus stated tersely, swallowing thickly as he did. "Off you go then."
Once Harry had left, Severus stood in the entranceway, mulling over what had just happened, until the wards in his lab went off, signalling it was time for the next phase in the potion he was currently engrossed in brewing; and the matter was chased from his mind, for the time being. Since neither of them had deemed it fit speak of the incident, Severus had barely allowed himself to contemplate it until now, ambling down the walkways of Diagon Alley. Presently, no longer in shock, he was able to fully examine the situation and how he felt about it. When Harry had uttered that word, a deep warmness had sprouted in Severus's chest, one he only fully understood the extent of now, as well as began to affect him once more, as he recalled the incident. This warmth elicited a sensation within him, as if he'd found something he hadn't known he'd been missing.
Returning to the matter at hand, Severus wondered if he could possibly implement this into whatever gift he would give Harry. Following a quick game of connect-the-dots, he came to one clear conclusion. I could adopt him. Just as suddenly as it appeared, a voice within him scorned,
Don't be ridiculous. The boy doesn't want to be adopted by you; what makes you think you deserve that? Trying to ignore the self-flagellation, Severus resigned himself to the rest of the sentiment, feeling his heart fall as quickly as it'd risen. Of course, he resolved, it was a stupid idea.
Severus continued on his way through Diagon Alley, and his search for a suitable token for his young ward. Nevertheless, his previous plan continued to plague him. The more he pondered the possibility, the more he realized he didn't want this just for Harry, he wanted it for himself.
In hindsight, Severus understood that part of the reason he'd only petitioned for guardianship at first was to distance himself from the depths of his feelings towards the boy. When he'd offered to be his guardian, Harry had agreed with his statement that it was simply for practicality. He didn't understand that Severus genuinely wanted to care for him. He'd held his emotions too close to his heart for too long. Well, no more. The amount of protectiveness he felt towards the child, the pride and worry, the loyalty, and simple wish to keep him happy, all the feelings he'd pushed down until now, rose to the surface. Harry deserved more than just a guardian and a place to feel safe. The simple fact that he hadn't received those before did nothing to warrant him being denied them now. Harry merited a parent, whose care was focused on him, and Severus would make damn sure he got it.
Hopefully, that it was Snape wouldn't disappoint him too much, yet Severus could not bear letting another assume the role. It was too late for that. Albus will have to be informed, of course, he mused, and Poppy as well. From past experience, Severus knew Madame Pomfrey as more than capable of maintaining her silence in regards to matters of importance, and felt no qualms in informing her.
That still left Harry's gift, though. While he would doubtlessly be ecstatic at receiving a parent (Severus sincerely hoped), it wasn't much in lieu of an actual present. Severus took a moment to picture Harry's room in his mind, trying to get an idea of what the boy might want.
In his mind's eye, he was appalled at the lack of décor in the room. The plain grey walls were unadorned; the desk undisturbed, even the bed was meticulously made, as if, at any time, he would be told to vacate it and turn it over to someone else. The only thing in the room indicating it belonged to someone was Hedwig's gilded cage in one corner. This highly disturbed Severus. A boy should seek to fill his room with things to make it his own, marking his territory, so to speak. Even when Severus had occupied the room, there had been one or two Slytherin hangings on the walls and the desk was piled with potions books. Harry had none of those.
An instance at the start of the summer sprung to Severus's mind, that'd struck him as strange at the time. After deeming Harry's "wardrobe" of old rags wholly inadequate, the two wizards had immediately taken a trip to Muggle London to purchase a whole new array of outfits for Harry. Upon returning, Harry had been eager to put his things away, yet when Severus passed by his room, he noticed that only the bottommost drawer in the dresser was being used to store Harry's things. At the time, he'd wondered if, maybe, the boy wanted all his things in one pace to access them more easily.
Analyzing the big picture, as he was now, Severus saw it for what it really was. Harry had put away his clothes away in a manner that would allow him to pack more easily once he had to leave. Obviously, Harry didn't think the room was really his. Well, that was no surprise. The child had never really been given anything that was strictly his, taught to think that he didn't deserve it; it was no wonder he didn't expect to keep the room.
Suddenly, Severus knew exactly what to get Harry. It wasn't a gift in the traditional sense of the word, but it would most certainly show Harry what he meant to him and how he fit in Severus's life. He'd leave the other tokens to his friends and perhaps Albus and Madame Pomfrey. Following that line of thought, Severus mentally wrote missives he would send to each of his colleagues when he got home, informing them of his desire to meet. Hurrying to the necessary shops, he gathered all the materials he needed, before returning home. He hoped Harry was fine. While, as strange as it sounded, he trusted the young Gryffindor to keep himself occupied in relative peace for a few hours, he preferred not to leave him on his own.
The next day, he travelled by Floo to his Hogwarts quarters with Harry in tow. After helping the boy start some of his summer homework and fetching a house-elf to keep watch on the young wizard, he set off for Dumbledore's office, informing Harry of his location in case he was in need of assistance.
Entering the circular room, Severus observed that Poppy was already there, along with the Headmaster.
Hearing him enter, Poppy spun around to face him, arms crossed. "What is all this about, Severus? You certainly weren't specific in your correspondence. 'A matter with a great deal of import and secrecy?'"
"Good day to you, too, Poppy," Severus responded dryly. Poppy's frown didn't abate one bit, and when it seemed she would reply in kind, Albus interjected,
"Severus, I assume this is a matter you would like assistance with. If it is as crucial as you say, should we not get down to it?" After all were seated comfortably, and Poppy was no longer glaring at the Potions Professor, he continued, "I assume this is about Harry."
Severus nodded stiffly. Now was the time. Speaking it aloud would make it official. Then, like the bursting of a bubble, reality came crushing down on Severus. What was he doing? Thinking he could adopt Harry Potter? What made him think he deserved that? His parents would certainly roll in their graves. Not to mention what folly it would take for Harry to want to be adopted by him. This was all a big mistake. He should make up an excuse for calling this meeting and leave.
"Severus?" Albus asked when moments passed with no words coming from the dour man.
Meeting the wise old man's gaze, Severus was given full view of the mysterious twinkling perpetually dwelling there. While usually annoyed by the man's constant optimistic attitude, at this moment, he found the ability to draw courage from that look and opened his mouth to speak,
"I have decided to adopt Harry Potter." There, he'd said it. Strangely, the crippling fear and doubt he'd been expected did not appear, in their place he felt a peculiar sense of calm and release.
Albus's striking blue eyes brightened further, wrinkling at the corners as his face broke out in an ear-to-ear smile. "Have you now? How wonderful, my dear boy."
Poppy, who'd observed the blossoming relationship between the two over the course of the school year, was only mildly surprised. She turned to Severus, a small smile on her face and frown completely gone, added her sentiments,
"Congratulations, Severus. Though, I have to ask why my presence was required."
Nodding in response, he replied, "For a number of reasons, this development will have to remain confidential, limited to those in this room and, needless to say, Harry. I will certainly be in need of your assistance over the next series of years, when the child inevitably lands in your care. I thought it prudent to inform you of whom to go to at those times." Poppy indicated her agreement with a nod. Turning to Albus to include him in his next statement, he went on, "Now, besides for procuring the necessary paperwork, I have another need of assistance from you both." Hence, Severus began outlining to them his plan on how to make Harry's birthday enough to make up for all those he'd missed.
On the night before his birthday, Harry struggled to stay up until midnight, as was his custom for celebrating the day. After seeing the clock on the wall strike twelve, he wished himself a happy birthday and nestled under the blankets to go to sleep, thinking that was the end of it.
In the morning, Harry awoke to a strange smell. Dressing quickly, he hurried downstairs to confirm it was real. There, sitting on the table, across from Severus reading the paper, was a giant stack of pancakes. With an enormous grin on his face, Harry took a seat and waited to be served.
"Help yourself, Mr. Potter. You should know that by now."
"But this is special. I thought you'd want to take first."
Severus lowered the paper, giving him a look Harry couldn't decipher, but hoped wasn't annoyance.
"I have already had a proper breakfast of toast and eggs. Enjoy your frivolities." With that, he returned to his reading material with barely another glace at the beaming child.
Harry examined the pancakes carefully, noting their peculiar sizes and shapes. With great care, he picked a lightning bolt shaped pancake, and then a cauldron shaped one. Trying not to seem too greedy, he made sure he got a snitch pancake as well.
"You may take as much as you want, though I will hear no complaints of an upset stomach later. They are for you after all."
Harry paused with his fork in his mouth, stuffed with fluffy pancakes. "Phoh meh?" At a glare from Severus, his face reddened sheepishly and swallowed before repeating, "For me, sir?"
The professor finally set his reading material on the table. "It is your birthday, is it not?"
Harry's eyes widened and he froze. This, this was all for him. Professor Snape had gotten up early to make pancakes especially for him. Suddenly, he had to blink really hard to stop from crying.
"Thank you, sir," he managed to get out. Severus nodded in response, getting up to make himself a cup of coffee. Once his back was turned, he allowed the frown to appear on his face. There had been too much surprise on the boy's face. While he knew how vile Harry's relatives had been, it was like he hadn't even remembered it was his birthday; what had this boy gone through? After breakfast, Severus headed for his lab and a soundly satisfied Harry to the living room. Upon entering the room, he was utterly confused by the pile of brightly colored packages on the sofa. Unsure of what to do, he called Snape over for assistance. Assuming he was in some sort of trouble, Severus rushed in, only to see him standing bewildered by his presents.
"What is all this?" the boy asked in absolute sincerity.
Severus forced himself to remain emotionless. "These are gifts from your friends for your birthday, Harry. Did you not see your name on them?" Harry looked down, embarrassed. Idiot, Severus chided himself, he's not ignorant; he just never expected them to be his. "Let's open them together," he suggested, removing the tension that'd sprung up. Harry perked up at that, and sat down next to the enormous pile, eager to get started. The amount of packages didn't equal half of what Dudley got from his parents every month, yet it was more than Harry had ever received and he was more than satisfied. He took great care in opening each one, grinning as if it was a diamond, and then presented it to Severus with a smile. His first gift was a quidditch pamphlet and a Bertie-Botts Every Flavour Bean bag from Ron. Seeing another box with Ron's handwriting he opened it to see some homemade fudge with a freshening charm, from Mrs. Weasley. Mum insisted I send this. Something about you being too skinny. Smiling, Harry gave that to his teacher and went on to the next; a book – no surprise there – from Hermione on other wizards with curse scars. He got chocolate frogs from Neville, and amazingly, a photo album of his parents from Hagrid. He handed this tearfully to Severus, who took it gingerly, gently trailing Lily's face on the cover.
When all the gifts were unwrapped and the paper thrown away, Severus had Harry sit next to him couch so they could talk. "I have yet to give you my present," he explained. Harry cocked his head to the side.
"Didn't you already give me my present? Wasn't that what the special breakfast was for?"
Stuffing down his frustration (really, those muggles), Severus replied with a shake of his head, "That was just a treat. My gift is quite different." Severus was glad he'd had Albus deal with all the paperwork before this. He was nervous enough; he didn't need to deal with senseless bureaucracy on top of that. All the legalities were behind them; the only thing left was for Severus to sign the papers, and, naturally, Harry to accept.
Quelling his doubts, Severus began, "I have been contemplating our situation for some time and I realize certain things need to change." Harry's soaring spirits at how this day had been going plummeted. Of course this was happening now. Professor Snape has realized he longer wants to be my guardian. He's going to give me away, Harry thought, sullenly. And I just started thinking of him as Da-NO! Harry wasn't going to let himself think it. Because that was just hoping; and it never did any good to hope. Determined not to cry, Harry tried to focus on all the things he'd enjoyed while staying with his professor, resolute in not missing it too much.
"Yes, sir," he said, dejectedly.
Seeing his dismay, Severus faintly frowned. Had Harry figured out what he was trying to do and it disappointed him? Suddenly unable to speak, he conjured the adoption papers from his office and set them on the coffee table in front of Harry.
"This is what I wished to discuss with you," he stated, rather lamely.
Curious, Harry leaned forward to glance at the papers and after a few seconds, his eyes went teary again. Severus's heart clenched. What did this mean? Was Harry upset he got stuck with Severus? Was he missing his real parents?
"You…" Harry swallowed thickly and attempted to speak again, "You want to-to adopt me?"
Extremely uncomfortable, Severus nodded stiffly. "I thought you would appreciate having more than a guardian, but I still haven't signed the papers. You can still say no, if you would prefer having—"
He didn't get a chance to finish as a small body hurled itself against his. Harry wrapped his arms around his professor, his protector, his… father, and buried his head in the man's chest. Finally letting his tears flow free, Harry managed to get out through his sobbing,
"Thank you! This is the best present ever! Thank you, thank you!" Shocked, Severus realized his heart was beating once again; and not just thumping along, it danced in a flurry of motion so fast Severus felt it would beat right out of his chest. A feeling of utter joy and relief filled his body that he could not remember having felt at any other point in his life. Trying, and failing, to supress an enormous smile, Severus wrapped his arms around the body of the small child currently clinging to him. Severus felt the wetness of the boy's tears and, mostly likely, phlegm dirtying his robes, yet he found he could not care less.
When Harry's tears finally stopped, he drew away from the boy to ask, gesturing to the papers on the table as he did, "Would you like me to sign these now?" Harry nodded eagerly, eyes shining with more than just remaining tears. Harry stared intently as Severus summoned a quill and began printing his name wherever needed. When he was done, Harry looked up at him shyly, before asking timidly,
"Do you think I could call—I mean would you mind if….?" He trailed off, shaking his head as if it wasn't important.
Thankfully, Severus was able to discern what he meant and asked gently, "Harry, would you like to call me 'Dad'?"
Harry met his eyes again. "If you don't mind, sir," he replied softly, almost as if scared the offer would be retracted.
"I would be very pleased if you did." Harry's answering smile rivaled the sun in brilliance, causing the corners of his mouth to turn up slightly.
"Now come, Harry. It's time I showed you the rest of your gift."
Harry's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. "But you already did, sir—Dad. You gave me the best gift ever!"
Severus enjoyed the warmth the title and following words gave him. "Nonsense," he replied, taking his son – his son – by the hand and leading him upstairs. "I think it's high time we made your room properly yours, don't you?" Severus figured it said something about Harry's feelings about the new change that he made no protests against holding Severus's hand, like a "child."
Harry, on his part, could hardly believe his luck. This was the best day of his life! Even better than his last birthday, when he'd been told he was a wizard. When they got to his room, Harry was astounded to see all sorts of decorating objects and things to hang on his walls laying on his bed. Turning to his dad – his dad! – he gave him a questioning look, which was answered with a nod and a gesture to "go on." Harry went to the bed and picked out all the things he wanted. The rest Severus banished to the basement. Not knowing what the child would want, he'd bought the lot, determined to give the Harry the best room he could want. Harry had chosen a few different-styled Gryffindor hangings, a corkboard for pictures, and a poster with a cauldron on it, to Severus's surprise. To Harry's great delight, the man waved his wand, smirking as he did, and a snitch appeared that flew around the poster. After that, a quidditch poster was added. As Harry decided where to put all his new adornments, Severus stopped him every once in a while to ask him what designs he wanted on the bedsheets, or what color to make the walls. They were busy until late afternoon, stopping only for lunch. The end result was certainly a masterpiece in Harry's eyes. The walls had been painted a light blue-green, the bedsheets green with black cauldrons and golden snitches, the desk filled with all sorts of knick-knacks Harry had chosen. The furniture had remained the same, though the wood was touched up and painted a warm brown; and on the outside of the door, in golden letters, it read: Harry's Room.
"Harry," Severus said, as they went downstairs. "Soon Professor Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey will be joining us and we'll be having a party. Is that alright with you?"
Harry nodded. "I'd invite my friends, but I know you wouldn't want them at your party."
Severus looked down at his son, and said seriously, "Harry, you know you can't tell your friends about the adoption. Just like the guardianship. It's to keep you safe."
Harry knew his dad thought he was sad he couldn't invite anyone, but he wasn't. Nothing could take away the happiness of this day and the fact that he'd gotten a father. "It's ok, Dad. I understand."
Severus nodded, but something felt off. Something the boy had said. Something about the party…
"Harry?" he asked. "What did you mean 'your' party?"
Harry looked up at him. "You know; the adoption party. Where we celebrate you adopting me. Aren't we?"
Severus furrowed his brows. "Harry, that party is for you. In case you forgot, it is still your birthday."
Harry stopped where he was, unable to move. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn't breathe. This is too much, it's too much. I don't deserve all this. Just days ago, Harry had gotten in trouble for not being careful while moving around in the lab and had caused several valuable potions to crash down on the floor, subsequently spending the rest of the afternoon scrubbing cauldrons. And after all that, Dad let me keep all the presents I got, and he gave me the best room ever, AND he even adopted me, even though I'd never've asked for it. I even get a party, when I'm not helpful and I make messes and I get in trouble. Harry felt cold creep up his chest. He'd thought nothing could ruin his day, yet here it was. I don't deserve this. I'm nothing, a nobody. A freak. And freaks don't get presents, they don't get parties and they definitely don't get adopted. Did I even say thank you for all the things I got? Harry wanted to run upstairs and hide under his new covers and not come out. I'm a worthless ungrateful brat. Just like everybody says. No one could care for me. I'm too much trouble, a nuisance. A sudden thought scared Harry more than anything. This was all a test. Professor Snape didn't really want to adopt me; he just wanted to show me that nobody really wants me, since I'm not good for anything. Harry continued on like this for what seemed like forever.
Finally, he heard a sound that seemed like it was far away. Drawing near it, he felt warmth surround his hands as they were held in two larger ones. Focusing his eyes, he found he was looking right into the black, worried eyes of his father.
"Harry?" his father was saying, "Can you hear me? It's me, son. Come back. You're safe here." The words continued, and though Harry couldn't discern exactly what they were, he felt comforted by them and his father's voice.
"Dad?" he whispered. Letting out a long breath of relief, Severus tightened his grip on his son's hands in response.
"What's wrong, Harry? What did I say to scare you so?"
Harry shook his head. Even though he would soon send him away, his dad took such good care of him. "Thank you, sir. For all the presents and the pancakes and the adoption and everything you did today. Thank you so much. I never—"
"Stop thanking me, you silly child, you've done enough of that. Tell me what's wrong?"
The words sounded so soft and warm, Harry wanted to believe it was real, that his father really wanted to keep him and done all of this just for him. But he had to tell the truth.
"I don't…" he swallowed over the lump in his throat. Determined to brave, he tried again, "I don't deserve all this, sir." His voice barely reached the volume of a whisper, yet Severus, so intently paying attention, caught it.
Curse those vile muggles, he seethed to himself, their punishment was not enough. Look what they had done to his son. When Harry had first stopped moving, Severus tried calling his name. When that didn't work, he descended a few steps to meet him at eye-level and found him staring glassy-eyed at nothing. Unsure of what to do, and scared out of his wits, he grasped the boys hands in his, willing the frightened child to look him in the eye. He called him Son and Harry over and over, trying to get him to come back. Now, to hear those ridiculous words come out of his mouth, Severus had no doubt where he'd gotten them. He was able to deduce what had been going through Harry's head and it did nothing to soften his temper. Occluding his anger for the moment, he focused his energies on the confused child in front of him.
Lifting Harry's chin with a finger, he met his eyes and enunciated, "You most certainly do, Harry. And never again let me hear you say otherwise."
With shining eyes, Harry voice in a whisper, "But I'm not worth it. I'm not good for anything, just an ungrateful frea—"
"Don't ever say that word!" Harry jumped at the sound. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Severus added, more calmly, "Harry, I've told you this before. Everything your relatives told you is a lie. You are not worthless, and you are certainly not ungrateful, nor that word we don't say." Harry looked up at him with big, sad eyes. Thank Merlin he's not in Slytherin. Those eyes would get me any time he asked for something. However, right now, they weren't beseeching, more like pleading. Pleading to be loved, to be accepted. Well, it was Severus's job to make it so.
Since it still seemed unclear to Harry, Severus clarified, "Harry, do your pathetic excuses for relatives give your cousin a party and gifts for his birthday?" Confused by the change in subject, Harry nodded hesitantly. That and much more. "And does your cousin have to do anything to earn this? Do his parents make sure he deserves their love and devotion?" Harry shook his head. Even when he yelled at them and broke things, they never punished him. Severus continued with his questions. "Do you think parents expect their children to work to deserve their care, or do they give it freely?" When this one seemed to confuse Harry, he tried a different tactic. "If your friend, Mr. Weasley was especially troublesome, do you assume Mrs. Weasley would toss him out the back door?" Harry shook his head. "Then what makes you think you have to do anything to earn a few gifts and a party for your birthday, as one usually receives." Harry furrowed his brow in obvious thought. He didn't really have an answer, yet at the same time, he could say with perfect certainty he still thought he shouldn't get it for free. "Harry, when I adopted you, I was aware of all the rights and responsibilities that came along with being your father. Feeding you and clothing you are a part of that, but so are making sure you are happy and giving you what you lack. Right now, that's a proper birthday party. If other children don't have to do anything to deserve their parent's love, do you?"
Harry thought long and hard about that one. He knew he had parents once, and that they loved him; why else would they die to save him? But ever since he'd been in his relatives' house, he'd learned no one would love him. Yet, here, his professor wanted to be his dad, and was asking if he had to do something to deserve that. Harry still was unsure of the truth, yet, in this moment, he knew what answer his father wanted to hear, and that was the only answer that mattered.
"No, Daddy," he breathed. As he blinked, a single tear left his eye and slid down his cheek. So very softly, as the touch of a feather, Severus reached out and brushed the tear away. This one act, so gentle and affectionate, was enough to shatter the last shred of Harry's control and the tears came pouring down his face for the second time that day.
"Then I'll hear no more nonsense about what you do and don't deserve, or not being a good enough son?" Harry shook his head and threw his arms around his father's neck, bawling in its crook. After a few minutes of loud sobbing, Harry sniffled one final time and said into his father's shoulder,
"I love you, Daddy."
With the impression that he could actually feel his heart knit back together, Severus replied, "I love you, too, Son."
When all the emotion and mushiness was dealt with, Severus and Harry set up for supper, adding two additional plates for the upcoming arrivals. The two aforementioned arrived at seven sharp, flooing in with a great amount of noise. Severus made his way to the living room with suspicion, sincerely hoping Albus had not indulged in his usual flamboyance. Indeed, to his great irritation, not only Albus, but Poppy as well, had brought along far more ornamentation than had been discussed.
"You too, Poppy?" he asked with a glare.
The medi-witch shrugged, countering with a smirk, "It's not like it's for you, is it? Besides, Harry has a lot to make up for."
Severus was about to retort when a smiling Harry ran into the room, a look of awe crossing his features when he spied all the clutter around the newcomers. Severus's words died on his lip at the look of complete joy on his son's face. Poppy is right. He deserves this.
"Wow! Dad, look at all this stuff? Are we gonna decorate the house with it?" His exuberance seemed as unending as the words flowing from his mouth that his brain seemed unable to stop. "Professor Dumbledore! You'll never believe it, I have a Dad now!" And although she was standing right next to him, he then turned to Madame Pomfrey and exclaimed, "Did you hear, I got adopted!"
The medi-witch smiled fondly at the young wizard. The energetic child before her was nothing like the frightened waif of a boy that she'd seen at the start of the year; and this caused her delight beyond words. "Is that so? I'm pleased to hear it." While she suffered endless chatter from Harry, Albus and Severus had moved to the kitchen to set up, and talk.
"You've done well with Harry, my boy." Albus commented, hanging streamers along the cupboards with his wand.
Severus tried to hide the warmth the praise elicited within him, huffing in acceptance instead. "It's easier to deal with him when there's no danger for him to get caught up in," he informed the older wizard.
The man twinkled his eyes at him, which did nothing to help his rising embarrassment and subsequent irritation. "I'm sure it's more than that, but no concern, my boy. All that matters is Harry's happiness." Severus indicated his agreement with silence, which lasted until shortly after, when Harry led a resigned Poppy into the kitchen by hand.
"Can I help, Dad?" he asked, upon seeing the two older wizards busy with decorations.
"Most certainly," Severus replied, promptly sweeping his child up in his arms and holding him to the ceiling; Harry shrieked in delight at the motion. "I would be truly grateful if you could cast a levitation charm on those golden stars, Giant Harry. I seem to be unable to reach." Harry giggled and did as his father asked. Severus couldn't help but squeeze the boy's sides as he lowered him, causing him to break out in peals of laughter.
When the kitchen was properly teeming with decorations; streamers on the walls, balloons on all the chairs, golden stars suspended wirelessly from the ceiling, sparkling confetti on the tablecloth, the four sat down to enjoy a hearty meal. Looking about the room, Severus couldn't help but feel it was too much, but one look at Harry was all it took to reaffirm his decision to muddle through the rest of this day as best he could.
Dinner was a warm affair, with Harry frequently thinking he would wake up from this wonderful dream, smiling each time he found it was really real. Treacle tart was brought out for desert, to Harry's great delight. The crust on the top spelled out, Happy Birthday Harry! And candles in the shape of fire-breathing dragons sat atop it. With his eyes closed, Harry wished as hard as he could – I wish that Dad will be proud of me and will keep me as his son forever – and blew out the candle.
After dessert was cleared away, Albus and Poppy presented their gifts to Harry. Harry knew his dad must have talked to them, since they fit perfectly with what his dad had given him. Back in Harry's room, Albus materialized a large wooden chest with his chest that he set in the corner of the room. Inside, Harry felt endless amount of toys and games to play with. Upon feeling something soft, he pulled out a large stuffed lion and blushed. He returned it to the box carefully, intending to retrieve it later, before bed. Of course he wasn't a baby, he didn't need to sleep with a doll; it was just soft. Madame Pomfrey's gift was more restrained. She brought forward two bags filled with books for Harry to stack on his bookshelves. Harry's excitement was no less pronounced at this and he presented Madame Pomfrey with the same bear hug he'd given the headmaster. Though initially irritated at Albus for spoiling the boy, Severus once again let the frustration go in lieu of sharing in Harry's happiness. While Harry felt this was the best day of his life, he had no idea Severus would be cherishing it as well.
At last, after the company had bid farewell, an overwrought Harry was put to bed after such a tasking day, even making no protest when Severus helped him get in pajamas and tucked him in.
Severus sat by his bedside for some time, telling him a story. The sound of his velvety smooth voice lulled Harry to sleep, with a sense peace he'd never known before. Upon finishing the tale, Severus set to rise, only to stop at the quiet sound of a mumbled,
"G'night, Dad."
"Goodnight, Harry." Before leaving, he leaned down to touch his lips gently to the boy's forehead, whispering, "Happy birthday, Son."