I was nervous.
I know, not the best thing to admit to myself considering the situation, but it was true nonetheless. In fact, nervous was probably a long stretch of the word 'understatement'. Terrified would have been a more proper adjective to describe what I was feeling at the moment. Somehow, I couldn't shake off that grim feeling that everything about my life was about to change, and not for the better. Maybe it was the dull, grey walls, or the stink of metal, sweat and gunpowder that clogged the air that was causing my guts to twist and contort. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the deep, cold voice rasping instructions at me through my headset.
"Keep moving girl. Faster." Yes, that was probably it.
Though I had to admit, I much preferred this method of communication. I had met the administrator once. Just once, and I found myself praying it would be the last. She'd scrutinized me under her gaze, mentally assessing every nook and cranny she could lay her eyes on. I hadn't given her much to look at really. I considered myself quite an ordinary teenager; tall, average build, light brown, medium-length hair and grey/blue eyes. I suppose my eyes were somewhat 'pretty'? But that was as far as self-complimenting ever got with me. The rest, in my opinion, was somewhat unremarkable. Well, not quite all the way unremarkable. I did consider myself to be rather clever, supported by the fact that I had gotten into Oxford's engineering department. My heart churned. "So much potential, such a waste to throw away your life like that…" The voice echoed in my head, but I forced it back before the sea of memory could come crashing down on me like so many waves on a stormy beach. Not today, I decided.
"Here." The voice purred in my right ear as soon as I approached a heavy-looking door. She didn't say anything else; she didn't have to. I knew what was behind that door, and I knew what I was expected to do. Introducing yourself to your new teammates didn't sound like that big a deal in most situations, but I was willing to accept that for this one, it was. I had no idea who these people were. I had no idea where they were from, how old they were, what they each did; nothing. All I knew was that behind that closed door, lay waiting nine mercenaries; nine men who hadn't seen a female in a very, very long time. The administrator had made sure to tell me that alright, oh yes she did, and with a cruel, twisted sort of knowing smirk. I was in for some very tough times. Boy did I know that.
Go on, I urged myself, blowing out a puff of air that had been in my lungs for so long, they had started to hurt. You can do this. I swallowed the build-up of saliva in my mouth. Now or never.
I lifted my right hand.
I knocked.