Walk A Little Straighter
I remember looking up/ to look up to him/
I glance out the window from where I'm sprawled on the couch and sigh. He's late, again, and it's pouring rain.
And I remember most the time/ he wasn't there/
It seems he's never home. That I'm always home alone, save when my friends come to visit.
I'd be waiting at the door/ when he got home at night/
Suddenly I hear the door creak open. He's home, finally.
He'd pass me by/ to go pass out in his chair/
Sure, he's abusive ocasionally, and he ignores me on a regular basis. Sometimes I wonder if he even remembers I exist. But he's all the family I've got.
And I'd say/ walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're swayin' side to side/
I greet him as he moves by the den entrance. He doesn't answer, and I watch as he staggers down the hall towards the stairs.
Your footsteps make me dizzy/ and no matter how I try/
I listen to his slow steps, trying to think of just one time I ever saw him sober. But none come to mind. I wish he wasn't this way.
I keep trippin' and stumblin'/ if you'd look down here you'd see/
For as long as I can remember, Dad's always come home drunk. It makes me wonder how I seem to have turned out all right.
Walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're leading me/
I mean, with him for an example, why is it that I don't act the least bit like him? Because I don't want to be like that, I answer myself.
He stumbled in the gym/ on graduation day/ and I couldn't help but feel so ashamed/
I remember clearly the day he came to that celebration. He was drunk then as well. He stumbled, and looked around for me. I felt so embarrassed, even when I knew there was nothing I could do about it.
And I wasn't surprised a bit/ when he didn't stay/
He left though, just a few minutes after he arrived. Part of me was glad he left, but....
He stumbled out before they called my name/
That celebration was special to me. All my friends were there. Drunk or not, it meant a lot that he came. And he left, just as the awards were starting, before he could see me get mine.
And I thought/ walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're swayin' side to side/
I'd noticed him stagger some as he walked out. I wanted him to stay, but at the same time....
It's not just me who's watchin'/ you've caught everybody's eye/
At the same time, I couldn't wait til he was gone. Everyone else was watching him, just as I was. It hurt me when he left. Even so, I didn't stop him. Because, right then, I couldn't bring myself to admit that this man was my father.
And you're trippin' and stumblin'/ and even though I've turned eighteen/
Just because I'm not a little kid anymore, doesn't mean he's not my daddy. Life without him wouldn't seem right.
Walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're still leading me/
But I wish he knew, that my being old enough to make my own decisions, doesn't mean he's not still an influence on me.
The old man's still like he always was/ but I love him anyway/
Dad hasn't changed much since I was little. And despite his drunkenness, he's my father, and I love him. But if I ever start to take the same path in life that he chose....
If I've learned one thing from him/ it's my kids will never have to say/
I know I'll do everything I can to turn back before it's too late. I love him, but I don't want to be like him. I want to be there for my life, for my family and my friends.
Walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're swayin' side to side/
I'm sure some people wonder, how Dad could ever teach me anything good, but....
Your footsteps make me dizzy/ and no matter how I try/
he has. He's been a good example to me of what I shouldn't be. And he's taught me, without even trying, what I shouldn't do and what I shouldn't take for granted in this life.
I keep trippin' and stumblin'/ if you'd look down here you'd see/
I hope someday his mind will clear enough for him to see what he's taught me. Until then, I'll just have to live my life opposite of the way he lived his.
Walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're leading me/
See, that's what he's taught me. He made some wrong decisions in his younger days, and because he made them, I know I'll try extra hard not to do the same.
Yeah walk a little straighter Daddy/ you're leading me
My dad's done plenty of things wrong, but at least he's managed to deter me from doing those same things. So, if nothing else, he's done one good thing with his life, by being sure I learn from his mistakes.
Chaos: There, all done. Nothin' much to say. Hope ya liked the fic and pleaz review. Bye.