Matthias never counted Sunday as the end of the week, for as long as he could remember he counted the end of the week as Wednesday. Most everything he did consisted around Wednesday, not that he would admit it to anyone, and that fateful day was all that was on his mind on the days leading up to it. The reason this day cast such fear in his heart was quite simple really;
Lukas.
The Norwegian had been his best friend for as long as he could remember and for just as long Wednesdays had been a day of pain and suffering for not only the smaller boy but also for himself. Every Wednesday his best friend would come to school looking exhausted, although he would never show it, and be even more stubbornly indifferent about everything. Wednesdays changed him, although no one but Matthias ever seemed to notice.
Still he made sure that each Wednesday he would laugh a little louder for the Norwegian, jump a little higher for him just to know that someone still cares. Wednesday he would bring Lukas to his house and make him show the taller boy the new cuts and bruises he had collected that Tuesday night. He would bandage him up the best he could pleading with the blonde to tell someone about the constant beatings and get help, but the Norwegian never listened. He would bring up a thousand reasons as to why he shouldn't tell, as to why he should suck it up, all of them making sense to the Dane, even though he never wanted to listen to any of them. Then they would watch a movie, play some video games or just lay on Matthias' bed and talk for hours and hours until Lukas fell asleep curled up next to the older. Matthias hardly ever slept on Wednesday nights, but that was the part he never minded.
That was there routine for every Wednesday, every week it was the same so Matthias was not surprised when Lukas showed up on Wednesday looking less then fine with a large scratch down the side of his neck. He was obviously trying to cover it up although it was hard not to notice the swelling around it. That day he hardly left the Norwegian's side glaring at anyone who tried to question the mark on his neck even though he wanted to do the same himself.
That evening he practically dragged Lukas to his bedroom and forced him onto the bed.
"Tell me what happened." he said, it was not a question. Lukas looked away from him his hand shooting up self consciously to the new scar.
"It was an accident..." he said quietly, almost pleadingly. Matthias hated that tone it made his normally strong best friend seem like he was nothing, it was the tone he used to whisper insults to himself when the beatings got really bad.
"Don't give me that bullshit." Matthias' tone was angry but his voice was soft, he never yelled at the Norwegian on Wednesdays "I know it wasn't an accident Luke, tell me what happened."
Lukas sighed curling his knees up to his chest and laying his head down, he looked small and sad then. Matthias didn't like that either. "He... He went into my room and took the book you gave me for my birthday..." Matthias tightened remembering the way Lukas' eyes lit up at the sight of the book even though his face stayed as stone still and emotionless as ever. That was a good day. "... I yelled at him... Told him to put it back but he didn't listen to me, he threw it into the fire..." The Norwegian looked up at Matthias with the same indifferent expression though his eyes showed the devastation he was really feeling. "I'm sorry..."
Lukas' voice had slowly gotten softer with each word, he looked scared of what the older would say but Matthias could see the expertly hidden shame behind the expression. Even when he was being open the Norwegian was guarded.
Matthias sighed coming to sit next to the boy and pulling him into a hug "It's just a book Luke..." he said gently "It doesn't matter to me. Are to okay? Did he do anything else to you?"
Lukas nodded pushing Matthias away and gently lifting up his shirt to reveal many more bruises to add to the faded ones. They just keep getting worse...Matthias thought cringing at the sight of the blemishes on the boy's skin I don't know how much longer he is going to be able to take this.
It was nice to think Lukas would go for help if he thought things were going too far but the Dane knew otherwise. The only reason Lukas ever came to him was because he was the first and only person to ever discover his scars. The first and only person to ever care about the way he limped to school one day and most importantly; the only person who had known him for as long as he did.
They had been friends for as long as either of them could remember, went to the same daycare then to the same elementary school then to the same high school. Sure, they met other friends and were part of other friend groups but they always managed to stay together in the end. Even forming a small group of there own with two other students, Tino and Berwald when they came to the school in grade 9.
Lukas was the only one who had ever seen Matthias cry and Matthias was the only person who knew about Lukas' home problems, not that the Dane was perfect himself. In fact, he was far from it, with anger issues and a hot head he often wondered how Lukas could hate himself so much when all Matthias could see in the small blonde was perfection.
Falling back into the routine Matthias cleaned the boys wounds and bandaged them telling him how he should tell someone, Lukas flat out refusing. Though this time he just pushed Lukas gently down onto the bed and told him to sleep. The Norwegian obliged turning his back to the Dane who just sat on the floor beside his bed waiting for Lukas to fall into the land of dreams. He could see how much pain the smaller was in and hoped sleep would wash away said pain and hold him still if only for a little while.
Soon he heard the smaller's breathing level out into the measured heavy breaths of sleep, Matthias stood quietly sitting on the bed next to him. The Norwegian had flipped over in his sleep and was now on his other side facing Matthias. His blonde hair was strewn out of the pillow and his face was relaxed if somewhat peaceful in his sleep. It was a strange and beautiful sight, one that Matthias hadn't seen in a long time. Though he would never admit in depth how much he loved the sight of the Norwegian's sleeping form, he couldn't deny the swelling of his chest and the erratic beating of his heart as he slipped in bed next to the teen.
Matthias had already admitted long ago to Lukas that he was questioning his sexuality and more recently realizing that he was gay, but he had never told the Norwegian the boy behind his decision. He had never told his best friend that he was in love with him. It had taken him a long time to figure it out and even longer still to admit it to himself, but it was the plain and simple truth. This was not a crush, this was not lust; this was love and he knew he would do anything for the boy lying asleep next to him. Even if 'anything' meant bandaging up his bruised and broken body though he hated every second of it. Even though he wanted to find the person who did this to Lukas and beat him to a pulp, he waited. For Lukas' sake, he waited.
Matthias sighed forcing himself to scoot away from the boy to the edge of the bed. It was no use letting these feelings run rampant, he could never have Lukas, one because he was straight, or at least as far as he knew, and two; Lukas was so far out of his league he couldn't even begin to compete with the girls and boys that would want Lukas. There was no use, the Norwegian was not his, he would never be his.
Though that never stopped him from doing everything he could to dull that pain that always seemed to be in the Norwegian's heart. He would never stop caring about Lukas even if he couldn't have him the way he wanted. Gently he reached out to run his hand across Lukas' cheek remembering a bruise that had once adorned his face in that exact spot when they were younger, long before Matthias knew about the beatings. He pulled his hand away slowly trying to savor the feeling of Lukas' soft skin under his fingertips.
I will always love you...
Matthias could still remember the day everything changed, the day he realized the harsh reality of the situation his best friend was stuck in. He could remember every detail as if it was only yesterday. It was a Tuesday evening and Matthias was as jittery as ever, Tuesday nights always made him jittery, he knew this was when Lukas had to get those scars and bruises. It hurt him to think about it, so he didn't.
He did what he normally did on Tuesdays; he ate dinner early and eventually drifted upstairs to watch TV or avoid doing homework anything to get his mind off of Lukas. It was almost 10 when he heard the loud knock on his front door, it was desperate and frantic, making Matthias' stomach drop for an unknown reason.
He raced downstairs before either his father or mother could answer the door and yanked open the only thing separating him from the person outside. What he saw made his heart convulse violently, it was indeed the boy he thought it would be, but instead of the beautiful angel he saw before all Matthias could see was a ghost of that boy, a ghost of Lukas.
He looked out of breath and ragged, his clothes torn and bloody, eyes bloodshot from crying with tear-tracks still present on his face. New bruises swelled his eye and cheeks and blood rimmed his mouth and caught in his messy hair, even his cross hair-clip was bloody.
Matthias forgot how to move for a second he could only stare at the boy in front of him, shocked. Lukas was looking right back his eyes more open then Matthias had ever seen them, full of pain and hurt and a million other emotions that pooled and swirled in his blue eyes. The most potent, though, of all the emotions had to have been fear. Fear was so real and there Matthias could not begin to imagine what kind of person could, or would, strike so much pain and fear into his Lukas' heart.
He snapped out of his daze when Lukas' knees started to buckle, reaching out to catch him under the arms before he fell. The smaller clutched his arm trying to keep from collapsing again, he did not look up at Matthias, but the older could see the silent apology. Gently he slid a hand behind Lukas' back and another under his knees pulling him into his arms and into the air. Lukas was surprisingly light, Too light... Matthias thought frowning a little. He could feel Lukas clutching his shirt, head rested on the his chest.
He carried the boy to his room and placed him on the bed all in relative silence, only broken when needed. He passed him some clothes from his wardrobe and turned around while the boy changed, wincing at each hiss of pain he heard from behind him.
After the smaller boy had slipped his clothes on with as little pain as possible Matthias made him sit down on the bed, he left the room briefly only to come back with an old, worn first aid kit. That kit had seen many Wednesdays, harsh and moderate, but the Dane didn't think either the first aid kit or himself had ever seen Lukas like this, so... Broken.
He gently cleaned the wounds not wanting to cause the boy any more pain then he already had and plunged into conversation. Matthias had no idea what he was talking about, but he didn't care and he didn't honestly think Lukas did either. They just needed a welcome break from the silence that was suffocating them both.
Finally all of the wounds were cleaned and mostly bandaged, the Dane knew they would heal in due time, but for once he was uncertain whether the Norwegian could handle anymore. Ever since he found out about the beatings he had always been confident that Lukas could handle what the faceless perpetrator of the attacks could throw at him. Now he wasn't so sure, Lukas had never come to his house for help on any other day but a Wednesday before.
Knowing all of this was true, and knowing something worse must have happened Matthias knelt down in front of the Norwegian taking the blonde's hands in his own maneuvering his head to try and catch the downcast boy's eye. They stayed like this for a little while, a game of cat and mouse with the eyes, but soon Matthias sighed reaching up to tilt Lukas' chin up so he could look the beaten and bruised boy in the eye for the first time since he arrived. He looked lost. Matthias could not think of a better way to describe the look in his eyes.
"Luke..." He said quietly his voice unnaturally soft, so unlike his normal tone but then again, the Norwegian brought out strange sides in him. "Lukas, tell me what happened."
Lukas sighed tearing his gaze away from the Dane, without saying a word the stoic teenager lifted up his borrowed shirt to reveal something the Dane never wanted to see ever again.
Scarred onto his best friend's stomach were only two words, blood red and fresh they stood out horribly from the rest of his skin.
Demon Child
Matthias could only stare, his eyes brimming with guiltless tears for his friend, for his Lukas, but the boy in question only shook with what Matthias knew was not pain or sadness but deep, horrible self-hate. He knew it because he had seen it on the boy many times before, and all of those times he would mumble insults and demeaning words to himself like he deserved all the pain in the world simply for existing.
All at once the sadness was replaced by anger, burning, scorching anger that took hold of itself deep in Matthias' heart and made him wish nothing more then to find the person who did this to his love and make them die a slow painful death.
He was snapped out of his revive by the sound of a mumbled voice from the bed next to him, he looked up to see Lukas folded in on himself eyes staring at the ground his mouth whispering almost silent insults, about himself, Matthias knew they were.
"Nothing. Ugly. Annoying. Pitiful. Strange. Unsocial. Angry. Emo. Faggot. Demon, demon, demon, demon..."
He repeated the last word over and over like a mantra his eyes filling with tears, self hating tears that were sad and shameful, just like him. Matthias almost shook with all the anger and emotion he felt whirling around in his chest. When all at once he couldn't take it anymore.
He wrapped his arms around Lukas' waist and pulled him close, a protective embrace, effectively stopping the flow of words from his mouth. He gripped the boy gently but firmly not willing to let go any time soon.
"You are not nothing Lukas." He said firmly tipping the smaller boy's chin up so he could look at him "you are smart and beautiful and smart and everything in between. You are not pitiful or strange and you are definitely not a demon!" He was angry but he was not yelling, he wanted the Norwegian to believe him, not fear him.
Lukas looked away from Matthias "I am a demon Matthias..." His voice was so soft the older had to strain to hear it "I am filthy and dirty, how could anyone love me?"
The words made Matthias' blood boil, they were obviously said to Lukas, someone told him these things. The same man who scared the lies onto his skin. Taking a leap of faith he pulled Lukas' chin up again and swiftly connected their lips in a soft kiss. It was shaky with emotion and pain but so real and true and... Sweet. Sweet like nothing else in their lives, it made Matthias' head spin red-faced and breathless when they parted. He pressed his forehead against Lukas'
"No." He said firmly "I love you Lukas. I love you more then anything in the world because you are amazing and beautiful and you are my everything." He could feel more tears cascade down Lukas' cheeks, hot and scared, he gently leaned down to kiss the tears away whipping at his face with gentle thumbs. "Do you understand?"
For once Lukas met his eyes on his own, they were full of fear and disbelief, but Matthias had expected this. It would take a long time for Lukas to ever believe he could be loved, much less that he was actually loved, but Matthias would stay and wait for him, he would do everything to patch the damage done by the faceless man who made the Norwegian emotionless and cold.
"You're lying..." The smaller said slowly "... You don't mean it..." His voice was shaking, emotions building, the dam that was holding all of his pain cracking. He looked away from Matthias to whisper something almost inaudible "No one loves me... I should die... I should disappear..."
Matthias stopped him mid-sentence by tilting his chin up again "If I was lying, why did I stay with you every Wednesday up until now? Why didn't I leave you before? I love you Lukas, you are not going to die, not if I can help it, and you're not going back to your house. Ever."
The Norwegian was still staring at the ground as he mumbled "I don't want you to get hurt... I'm fine on my own" Monotone had found it's way back into the teen's voice as he repeated the frases Matthias had heard on countless Wednesdays, they were rehearsed and a pretty lie Matthias despised.
"The only thing that would ever hurt me..." Matthias said gently reaching out to untangle the hair-clip from the smaller's hair "Is if I have to see another Wednesday where you are in pain, please Lukas." He gently pushed the boy's hair back and replaced the pin again as softly as he could "For me, let me help you."
The Norwegian said nothing, he only stared at the ground with wide scared eyes. He looked as lost as before, only now it was filled with something, something Matthias had never seen in the boy's eyes before. Hope. Hope pooled around growing slowly until he finally looked up at the older boy pressing himself closer he reached up for a soft kiss, that yet again left Matthias spinning.
It was a yes. In the silent language that Matthias had learned to speak when he had first met Lukas. He felt his heart leap as the boy pressed closer tears still pouring down his face, but that was alright, he would let him cry, he would let him get out the pain he had built up for so long. He smiled a little at the thought of a clean slate, one that he and Lukas could colour in together.
They laid in Matthias' bed that night tangled together under the covers, Lukas caught in Matthias' protective embrace while the smaller boy was possessive in his own way with a firm grip on the older boy's shirt. Lukas was out like a light almost as soon as his head hit the pillow but Matthias laid awake, watching the boy he had loved for as long as he could remember sleeping next to him like he never thought he would. It was both terrifying and wonderful. He finally had Lukas, he got to hold him and touch him and kiss him, he finally got to see the emotions no one else could. He finally got to see all of Lukas, know all of him.
The truth was there, though, the Norwegian was still abused and hurt where he was. Matthias promised him that he would never have to go back to that again, he swore,and that fragile trust his stoic lover gave to him could be easily shattered by fate. If he let Lukas down, he didn't believe there was any hope he would trust anyone again. So he would just have to prove to both himself and the angel lying next to him that there would never be another dreaded Wednesday again.
Glancing down at the blonde wrapped in his arms he noticed for the millionth time how peaceful his Lukas looked in sleep, and even more so as he pushed himself closer to the Dane's warmth in his sleep. It made an elated smile appear on said Dane's face, Lukas did trust him, at least for now. He finally let his eyes drift close pulling the Norwegian closer as the clock down the hall chimed twelve.
Maybe Wednesdays aren't so bad after all.
Chapter Two. (Epilogue)
Matthias sank into the small couch with a loud sigh, it was the only comfortable piece of furniture in the shared apartment and honestly the Dane didn't know what he would do without it. He closed his eyes lightly, but kept his ears open for the sound of his lover shuffling down the stairs to meet him, as he suspected the padded footsteps reached his ears only seconds after he got comfortable on the plush sofa.
"What are you doing? You were supposed to pick up chicken for dinner."
Lukas.
His Lukas.
Matthias peeled his arm off of his face to stare up at his stoic lover, he looked annoyed even if his face held little emotion. After three years of living with Lukas he could read the signs on his face indefinitely. It seemed like an eternity since high school and the emotional termoil that followed, Lukas had been removed from his home and lived with Matthias for a little over two months before his parents kicked them both out for there only son being gay.
Matthias still felt the sting of there rejection but it was not half as bad as hiding his relationship with Lukas for so long, it was better this way. They eventually got jobs and they both managed to make into college with scolarships, Lukas' a little more advanced then his own, but all the same. It had been three years and although they were still dirt poor Matthias couldn't help but love every minute of freedom he had with Lukas.
It may have been hard, but it was far better then living with the weight of all the lies and secrets bearing down on them.
"Sorry." He said tiredly "Guess I forgot, why don't we order pizza?"
Lukas' frowned deepened a little "We're broke Matthias." He said in monotone "We can't afford to have pizza every night..."
Matthias smirked watching Lukas walk over to the couch and kick his legs off with surprising force and plop down where the Dane's legs once resided with a satisfying thump. He looked a little annoyed still so Matthias sat up completely and slid over to where the smaller blonde sat, their hips brushing.
"That doesn't mean I can't have you every night, love..." He said huskily his smirk growing as he leaned in close to push their lips together only to be rejected by the Norwegian turning his head away, the Dane grumbled as he only got a peck on the jaw.
"You wish." Lukas mumbled but Matthias could see the smile behind his feigned annoyance and frown. He could see the smugness which just made it all worth while.
"Yes," He said quietly looping his arms around the Norwegian's waist and pulling him close so their bodies were flush with each other "Yes I do"
Lukas grumbled a little more but didn't try to pull away this time as the older blonde started to kiss his lips a hand sliding under his shirt. Suddenly Matthias pulled away watching the blonde with curious eyes, Lukas shifted a little under his gaze confused and nervous as to why he stopped.
"What?" He asked finally not able to take the Dane's gaze anymore. Although he had been away from his father for a long time, Matthias' intimate knowledge of his being scared him, said Dane knew that. Even though he knew Matthias would never hurt him like his father, Lukas always had a hard time with trust.
"You're so beautiful..." He said quietly making the Norwegian look up at him with skeptical eyes and a quickly spreading blush.
All at once Matthias slid off of the couch and onto the floor in front of the Norwegian, grabbing the youngers hand in his own. "Matthias what are you do-""What would you say if I asked you something really important?"
The Norwegian looked at him like he had lost his mind, and that he very well might have "How will I know that if you don't ask me the question, idiot."
Matthias laughed the insult off as he continued "What if it was something really, really important and I really, really needed you to say yes... Would you say yes?"
Lukas flashed him a death glare that clearly said 'I am not impressed' "Fine, fine... But would you?"
"Just ask me the question, idiot."
Matthias laughed nervously his hand shaking, he could feel his heart beating faster in his chest and his palms sweat angrily even in the cool house. Trying not to show how scared he really was, Matthias reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He could feel the Norwegian tighten his hands.
"L-lukas Bondervik will you m-marry me?"
Lukas looked up at him shock clear in his eyes, shock so unlike all of those years ago when Matthias had told him that he really loved him, shock that could only be described as Lukas' version of elation. It made all of the fear Matthias once had about everything disappear. The look of joy on Lukas' face made it all worth while.
"Yes"
That night the two laid together tangled in the sheets of there shared bed, Lukas letting Matthias run his fingers over his hand, newly adorned with the small silver band of an engagement ring.
"It looks good on you Luke" Matthias said quietly, not wanting to break the calm that the darkness brought. The Norwegian shrugged.
"I like it." The word were said in monotone but somehow they made Matthias' heart swell.
"I'm glad," he told his new fiance "Because I gave up about one thousand pizzas for it... And maybe just a week of meals in general."
Lukas gave him a good smack over the head for that "Idiot Dane, you shouldn't have spent any money on a ring. You should have waited until we could afford it."
Matthias shrugged abandoning his hand and opted instead for pulling Lukas flush to his chest "I wanted to. Besides what kind of jerk would I be if I didn't even get you a ring when I proposed?"
"Just your usual idiot self..."
"Heeeey, Norge. That's not nice."
"Serves you right."
The room plunged into comfortable silence as they both started to drift off to sleep, Matthias wondering how on earth he could have gotten so lucky, when something came into his head.
"Hey, Luke?"
"Mmhm?"
"Guess what."
"What, idiot?"
"It's Wednesday."
END