"Okay Danna, get over here!" Deidara yelled over to his bestfriend of fifteen long years who was sitting at his desk surfing the web.
Said bestfriend, Sasori, groaned. Not even bothering to let his eyes not leave the Wikipedia page, "No." he grunted as he slowly looked down to take more notes from his textbook.
"C'mon Danna! I wanna take a selfie with you, un!"
Swinging around in the chair, Sasori folded his arms and sighed at the blond who was touching up their long hair. "Why?" He asked a little frustrated. Every few weeks the guy would ask to take a selfie with him and spam it with hashtags.
#TRUEart, #sexyboys and #sweetmemories were his favorites to include.
Hopping up from the bed, Deidara ran over to his friend and pulled up a stool. Pushing on in close he wrapped the arm holding the phone around his friends head, locking him in. "Memories!" He cheered raising his free hand into a peace sign. "Say, art is fleeting!"
"What the - " Scowling, Sasori turned his head a little to hassle his friend "Art is eternal." He said in place, not even looking at the camera as it flashed.
Pulling away, Deidara whipped the phone close to look at the picture. Covering his mouth he didn't laugh, instead he threw a hint of a filter on it and crammed it his the redheads face. "Look at how hot we look, un!"
Adjusting poorly to the closeness of the phone he snatched it away and moved it further away. One look and his eyebrows were up. He did look hot! Well, Deidara did too... But just a little! Not as hot as he did.
That little scowl he was giving his friend looked great, and the fact he was scowling made it really look like a memory of them they could look back on. Since it was probably his go to face to give the brat of course.
Posting it to Instagram he then grabbed Sasori's arm and started dragging him to the door. "O.M.G! We have to show this to my mom, un!" Deidara cried excitedly.
"Why the hell do we have to show her!" Sasori hissed, looking back at the homework he should have been doing.
"Mommy needs to see how beautiful her baby is, un."
"You're so stupid."
Dashing down the stairs, easily dragging the smaller boy behind him, Deidara ran into the kitchen where his mom was currently looking at a magazine and stuffing her face with snacks. Looking up from her reading she quickly tried to hide the fact she was pigging out.
"What's up boys?" She asked licking her fingers clean. "Deidara, you look excited and Sasori-chan, you look... Deidara what did I say about bullying Sasori-chan?"
Yanking away from the blonds death grip, Sasori folded his arms and turned his focus to the woman. "Aunty, I really wish you would stop calling me Sasori-chan..." He asked, not even bothering to blush at the childish name since he for a fact had asked her to stop nearly five years ago. So really, by now he was more than used to it. Didn't mean he wouldn't stop asking for her to quit it though.
The woman didn't like to hide the fact she adored the redhead. Heck, she made it very obvious who her favorite was - and it wasn't her own flesh and blood, Deidara! Well, that's not exactly true. His mother was a bit of a tease and knew it bugged her son to no end when she would shower his bestfriend with the affection that she should be giving him.
"And I'm not bullying Sasori, un!" Deidara pouted, stomping his feet. "That's not the point, Mom look at us!" He smiled proudly, skipping closer to show her the picture of them. "Aren't we so-o handsome?"
She sighed as she grabbed the phone to get a better look at her boys. "Oh, Sasori-chan, you look so cute!" She complimented reaching over to give his hand a little squeeze.
Deidara scowled bitterly at his mother finding his friend more attractive than him. Her only baby! It's not like he looked bad in the picture either. He was cute!
Right? RIGHT!?
"Thank you Aunty." Sasori thanked as he smirked and sent his friend a snarky side glare.
"That's not the point!" Deidara hissed gabbing the phone back to look at it, a little worried that he really wasn't as attractive as he thought he was.
"What's not the point? How cute I am?" Sasori joked, jabbing the dragger in Deidara's heart and ego a little deeper.
Giving Sasori a quick punch he growled at how rude his Mom and friend were being to him. "C'mon you guys, this has to be like, the best picture of the two of us ever, un!"
"Yeah, I guess it is hard to get a picture of you not looking like a total brat."
"Danna! Seriously stop!"
"You think this is the best picture of you two?" His mother asked a little shocked to hear that from her boy. "Really!?"
"It's not?" The two young men asked in unison as they both sat down at the table as well, stealing her bag of snacks in the process.
It was a great shot of the two of them. Truly it was the best. They both had finished their awkward phases and most of the baby pictures of them together were mediocre at best.
Deidara making a fussy face here, Sasori frowning or a simple docile look there. Honestly, it was all the same.
Deidara's mother rested on her elbows and gave a heavy sigh. "I thought you would have picked the picture of when to two first met would be the best."
"There is a picture of us when we first met?" Sasori asked leaning in a bit more, becoming interested in what his Aunt had to say. His own mother was a savant at taking him to get his photos professionally taken. There wasn't a wall in his house without a photo of him wearing a frilly little outfit. Much to his displeasure of course.
"Of course!" She said popping another piece of her snack into her mouth. "You two met in the lineup for getting your pictures taken."
"We did, un?"
"Oh dear, did your mommies not tell you how you two met?" She asked her son and his friend a little sadly.
"Uh, no, un."
"Nope."
"My goodness! Then you must not have even seen the picture in the first place!" She gasped raising a hand to her face. "Well of then allow me to inform you boys on how you met, back fifteen years ago when you were both two years old..."
"...Dressed in his Sunday best, I took Deidara to the mall in hopes of getting a few photos of my precious baby. Everything was going great, that is until I finally got there. Upon arrival the line up was quite long. Unfortunately for me, it was only then that I remember, or at least noticed, that it was because it was Easter time and parents were getting photos of their kids with the Easter Bunny."
"As I waited in line, Deidara, you got a little fussy and threw your toy. The woman in front of me was so kind to pick it up since she was closer. Low and behold it was then I recognized the woman as your Mother, Sasori-chan!"
"Konan? Is that you!" A young mother asked, handing the toy over to the blue haired woman.
"Temari, is that you!?"
"I asked you first!" The blond giggled turning the buggy she was pushing around so it could face the direction that she was.
"Yes, it's me Konan." She laughed while handing the toy back to Deidara - who was beginning to get irritable.
"And yes It's me, except now I'm Mrs. Akasuna!" She exclaimed holding up her hand to show off her bling.
"My goodness! congratulations!" Konan squealed as she looked at the rock on her old friends finger. "Are you back and living here for good now?"
"Yes! After the birth of my son, we decided to settle down and oh!"
She lifted up the blanket that was covering her buggy. "And this little cutiepants is my widdle Sasori-chan!"
Konan squealed in delight as she looked at the pudgy little boy with a messy red moptop. Pushing right past her own stroller, she bent down and reached a finger to the newer and better baby than the one she had spent the morning catering to. "He's such a, a, a cutiepants!"
Temari laughed proudly as the fruit of her loins was being praised. "Who may I ask is that handsome devil behind you?" She asked pointing the the grumpy baby wiggling and making unpleasant noises as if he was in his own personal hell. Which at the moment he was, and it was the buggy.
Konan looked at the little angry terror stirring about. "That's uh... He's not mine." She muttered, denying all ownership of the baby bursting with angry spit bubbles.
Temari burst out laughing at the joke as she watched her old friend unbuckled the squirmy baby she had denied giving birth too. It was fairly obvious it was a joke. Right?
Sighing, Konan hoisted the baby up, bouncing him a bit to calm him down."This is Deidara, the love of my life and the bane of my existence."
"He's so cute! Look at all that thick blond hair!" Temari marveled touching the perfectly cut bowl of soft blond hair.
Konan pouted. "He ain't no Sasori-chan though..."
Covering her face a bit with her hand to hide her prideful smile, Temari couldn't help but still gloat. "Mm, yeah. I'd say the most pleasant thing about him is the fact he's so self reliant and very quiet! Such a well behaved boy."
Nodding slowly, Konan thought carefully about the words. If this little baby-tomato was such a good boy, maybe he would be a good influence on her not so good baby!
"Sasori-chan and Deidara should become best friends!"
"Baby besties?" Temari gasped excitedly. "Oh that sounds so~o cute!"
The line up started moving at a more rapid pace as they took four families in at once. Temari looked at the two boys then at the line up and had a wonderful idea. "Hey, why don't we get a picture of the boys sitting on the bunny together! It'll be so cute!"
"Yeah, let's do it!"
As their time came up, both women sat their kids at a small prep station where they would give them their last touch ups before being placed on the Easter Bunny. Sasori's mother huffed as she muttered complaints about her sons wild red hair. Putting a dollop of hair product in her hand, she smoothed it out as much as possible, that is until it decided to spring back up.
Konan with Deidara was a little different. He hissed, he fussed and he just really wanted to get out of his shirt. Just earlier he was just in his diaper running around the house! What happened to that fun? Why somewhere new wearing scratchy clothing?
"Dei, mommy wants to fix your hair, sit still." She huffed, holding a comb as she tried to make his bowl cut perfectly smooth again.
"Alrighty ma'am, are the boys ready to meet the big guy?" A photographers assistant, decked out in bunny ears, face paint and other various tacky Easter accessories, asked.
"Yes!" Both women chimed as they took their boys over to the next area where the great, white, rabbit was siting on a throne of Easter eggs, cute plant life and bugs.
"Boy...that thing is a tad scary, isn't it?" Konan mumbled a little to herself, a little to the women beside her, and finally to the boy curled up in her arms who had no desire to let go.
Be put down? Nonsense!
Termari was determined to get a picture taken though, so she smoothed her sons wild hair one last time. "I'm sure the boys will find it cute and exciting." She said walking forward to give her son away to the demon rabbit lord.
Sasori was very quiet as he looked up at the strange thing. Not knowing quite how to respond to the the big monster, his lips formed into a tight frown and his body went rigid.
Konan nodded at how Sasori was responding to the Easter bunny. He wasn't crying, so maybe her boy would do good as well. Putting her own son on the rabbit, Deidara took one look, and it didn't take a genius to see how unhappy he was to be there.
The photographer quickly went to take the picture but he was too late. Konan wanted Sasori to be a good influence on her son, but it appeared to be doing the opposite. As soon as Deidara's little face crinkled into a cry, Sasori's did the exact same.
Both boys screamed their tiny baby heads off as they cried for their mommies to save them from the horrifying Easter bunny. Luckily for them, the women swooped in and took them away to soothe their fragile hearts that had been thoroughly terrified.
"Shh, baby it's okay. Mommy won't put you back on the bunny." Sasori's mom coo'd. Looking back at the photographer her attitude changed completely. "Did you get it?" She snapped as if this were big business
Frowning at the pictures he had taken he sighed. "Come have a look."
Both moms walked over to look at the pictures. Konan had to laugh as they both looked miserable. It was Sasori who caught her attention the most. It was a progressive scene as the redhead got sadder and sadder with each new frame. Her own sons face? Constant distress.
What a bratty kid she had.
Sasori's mother on the other hand looked at the pictures with fondness. "I'd like a copy of the last picture."
"You mean the one where both kids look the most miserable? Seriously?" The photographer asked raising both brows in shock and confusion.
"Yes." She said getting out a card to pay for it. "I have a hunch this will be a fond memory to look back on someday."
Konan laughed and nodded. "I would like a copy of the same picture too."
Walking out of the store the two women pushed their strollers on down through the mall to the food court where they both made sure to give both their babies a tasty treat. Sasori and Deidara really deserved it after all that cruelty they went through. Konan just wanted to stuff her son's mouth his food so he'd stop crying and fussing.
Popping a french fry in Deidara's mouth he finally quieted down. Sasori too snacked happily, his eyes however never left his new friend.
Temari smiled and patted her boy's moptop. "It looks like Sasori-chan is really interested in Deidara!"
"I wish I could say the same about my kid..." Konan grumbled as she watched her son cram his face full of food. "Oh wait! Look!"
Both women watched intently as Deidara held up a fry, as if ready to feed his new friend. Sasori in turn smiled as he was offered the fry. Leaning in, he went to give it a bite, only to bite into thin air after Deidara yanked it away.
Deidara snickered as he popped the fry into his big mouth.
Konan gave her son a good flick and Sasori and his mother a apologetic look. "Do you really think they'll become friends?"
"You know what? I really, really do."
"So Deidara was a jerk as a baby too, huh?" Sasori asked not even sounding a little bit surprised.
Konan nodded sadly. "Indeed he was... A big brat too!"
Grabbing a chip, Deidara flicked it at Sasori. "Mo-om!" He whined, giving her a gentle shove.
"Aunty, so where is this picture anyway?"
Smiling, Konan hopped up and rushed to her room. When she came back, in her hands was a pink frilly baby book documenting Deidara's early life.
"Well, isn't that embarrassing." Deidara noted as he toyed with the excessive pink. He had never seen THIS book of misery before. To see it now, not knowing what expect? Oh dear.
Konan laughed at her son being bitter since the book was aimed towards baby girls. "I bought the book when I was a teen. I was so sure my first born was going to be a girl!" She sighed as she recalled her dream to dress her daughter like a princess and have tea parties.
Not having a daughter certainly didn't stop her though. Shh!
Sasori smirked as he flipped through the book, each page pinker than the last. "And somehow you got Deidara. Somewhat male and somewhat female."
Scowling, Deidara grabbed at Sasori's knee roughly, making him flinch. "You can joke and think of me as a female all you want, Danna. But you will always have to face the fact you're in love with a male, un." He sneered as he pressed his nose to best friends cheek.
"Mm! Sasori-chan as a baby in law!" Konan swooned, totally approving of the idea of being able to say she is some sort of mother to the apple of her eye.
"Aunty, no!" Sasori groaned as he writhed under the twos knowing stares. "I don't even...like...brats... Where is that picture!" He yelled trying to change the subject away from his crush he still wasn't willing to admit.
Taking the book, Konan passed through pages until she got to one that was an array of pastels and egg stickers. Smack dab in the center was the photo. "Here you boys go! The best photo of you two, ever!"
Both boys leaned in to see the photo and both didn't know how to respond. What were they supposed to focus on? The tackiness of their outfits? (Though Sasori was more than used to that.) Perhaps it was the horrified looks on their faces? Maybe just how terrifying the demon rabbit lord was? Or what about -
"Oh my god! That's terrifying!" Sasori yelled as he gaped at the rabbit.
"I know! Would you look at my hair!" Deidara shrieked as he pointed to the perfect hair bowl sitting on his head.
"Yeah," Konan sighed as she admired the horrendous cut she gave her boy. "I didn't keep that cut on you very long. Glad I got a picture in before I cut it all off though!"
"Mom!"
"Are you both not seeing that ghoul rabbit we're sitting on!?"
"Come on Danna, all your art is ghoul looking, chill, un." Deidara groaned a bit as he patted Sasori's back lazily. Once he stopped he sighed dramatically and touched his long blond locks that he so dearly loved. "My hair on the other hand."
"Ugh, I'm heading home." Sasori groaned standing up.
"Oh Sasori-chan! Don't be like that~" Konan laughed as she looked at the terrible picture. "You boys wanted to see the best photo of you ever!"
"Ugh! Danna, I'm coming with you. Maybe your mom is cooler than mine!"
Konan stuck out her bottom lip as she admired the picture of her two sweet boys. "They grow so fast... I wish I could say I miss them being good boys but..." She looked at her sons distressed face and shuddered. "You, Deidara, were never a well behaved child. Sasori-chan, you failed me."
Enough talking to herself, she grabbed her phone and dialed up Temari. "Hey Tems! Heads up, I showed the boys the picture we took when they first met... Yeah the one with the Easter bunny!"
"Neither of them are too happy, they criticized us! So I was thinking that you could get your picture out and stick on your fridge or wall."
"You'll do it? Super! Let's teach our brats a lesson. Make sure Gaara and Kankuro see it too. Talk to you later, bye!"
Hanging up the phone she glanced at the old picture and the new one once more before putting them both up on her own fridge. "Yeah, those brats grew up pretty cute."
Sasori gaped at the newly hung photo that was hanging over the mantle and fireplace. "MOM! WHY DID YOU GET A FRAMED, JUMBO SIZED VERSION OF THAT PICTURE!?"
"I just love my widdle Sasowi-chan so much!" Temari sighed as she lounged on the couch with her other sons who could not contain their snickers.
"Jeeze Danna, and you were unimpressed with MY mom, un."
hhaah this was the easter fic I never posted because it sucked. but today I thought, why not, for Deidara's birthday lets rag on him.
dont think too much into Temari being the mother of Sasori, Gaara and Kankuro. I needed a female and she fit the job