AN: I have been working on other fics, but I've also had a writer's block that's been killing progress. So I sat down with way too much coffee and tea and this came out-based off some of the romantic struggles I've been having. I usually write happy endings but currently, that's not exactly how this thing I'm going through will really end. Hayley was the easiest of Elijah's girlfriends/lovers to pick.

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He's happy, happier than she's seen him in a long time.

"You know that girl Hayley, I mentioned a few days ago?" Elijah asks with bright eyes and Elena's stomach fills with dread.

"Yeah?" Elena asks, trying to keep her tone neutral.

"We went on a date last night and I think we're dating," he tells her and she looks a few inches above his eyes.

"That's great. That's really great," Elena lies and Elijah grins widely. It's real, genuine, and he seems truly happy. She wants to be happy but she's not sure how long she can keep a fake smile on her face, they need to end this conversation soon before she says something she'll regret.

"She's just perfect. We talked for hours last night," Elijah begins. Elena thanks god for Caroline and her personalized ringtone she set ages ago.

"Oh, that's Care, I should get this. It was nice catching up with you, see you later?" Elena asks. He nods and walks away silently as she answers the call.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Elena asks.

"I don't have anything planned, I was gonna ask you to help me study for-what's wrong?" Caroline wonders. She loves Caroline, but she also hates that she knows her so damn well.

"Can we get takeout and some wine? Or just, alcohol? Please? We can invite Bonnie over and have a quiet night in," Elena suggests. She busies herself with moving the strap of her messenger bag so it doesn't dig into her shoulder-waiting for Caroline to say something.

"It's Friday. We could be out partying and drinking. You didn't answer my question. What's wrong?" Caroline presses and Elena focuses on walking back to their apartment. It's been long enough that Elijah's definitely not in hearing distance, so she lets out the sigh she's been holding in.

"Elijah got a girlfriend," Elena tells her and waits.

"Judging by your tone, I'm assuming it's not you," Caroline says lightly.

"No, some girl named Hayley," Elena says.

"I'll call Bonnie in a few and get the alcohol. I stocked up on ice cream this morning, what do you want us to pick up?" Caroline asks. Elena blinks away a few tears and tries to think about food.

"I love you guys," she says instead and she can almost see the smile on Caroline's face.

"We love you too," Caroline says.

Logically, she knows she and Elijah were never going to work out even if they dated-and that she shouldn't be so hung up over their potential. Still-they messed around a few times, months ago, nothing too serious. The last time they did-he kissed her forehead, and looked at her with an intense look she couldn't read in the near dark. They're not teenagers but they're not really real adults either and they probably shouldn't have ever messed around in his car. She always knew there wasn't going to be a good ending to this-they both flirted and hinted at maybe doing something but never did. Both too scared to make a move, so so she thought.

He clearly doesn't have a problem with dating and asking a girl out-a girl that's not her. She doesn't want to hate this Hayley girl, she's barely even seen her and that's not fair to anyone. It's her fault she didn't make a move or tell him she was in love with him. At the same time, she never wanted to tell him because she was always so damn worried about ruining their friendship. They told each other everything for weeks on weeks this year and she thinks about that as she walks back to the apartment on autopilot.

Elena doesn't know if she should regret it. Them, their friendship, all of the late nights and all of the texting and secrets. It's not like their friendship is necessarily over now, but part of her knows that they were both close because they were both single. They both had free time and classes in common, and this summer they might grow apart. The thought is painful, partially because he knows too much and partially just the friendship and the goddamn potential.

They could have been a good couple if it wasn't for the ifs. If he wasn't going to graduate before her and move, and if she wanted kids-logically she knows they wouldn't have lasted long term because she doesn't. If she didn't know how he usually moved with his girlfriends-intense and over in a few months. She doesn't want to have him for a few months, she wanted him for forever but she knows it's just not realistic.

It's still hard to convince herself she needs to start letting go now so it doesn't hurt more later. Elena turns her key in the lock and getting into their apartment. She drops her bag on the floor and sprawls on the couch as she thinks. It'd be so easy to torture herself with memories. Right now, in the dark she can think of his exact cologne, exactly how tall he is when they hug and when she wears her favorite wedges, his laugh, his favorite-his favorite anything. She can picture every expression, every mood, the stuff they got up to in his car-nothing really past second and they didn't kiss more than a handful of times.

She can remember when they first met and she liked him immediately. She can remember the months of clueless flirting and when she first realized she might be in love with him. All the thoughts of what the fuck was that? What were we doing? Does he like me? Do I like Elijah? There were a lot of questions that filled her brain as she drove away after they had messed around. The one she always ended up focusing on was: when can I see him again?

It might be better that she never told him, it won't come to mind when they talk-he won't hold it against her. That's worst case, she hopes that their friendship their, relationship-whatever the hell they are, could survive a confession. She doesn't know, though, so she never got the words out, they always stopped in her throat, unable to leave. Even if she had told him, if all of this was in her head and they weren't flirting, just friends-things would probably be ruined.

Elena knows her younger self would be disappointed in her, all of this drama over a guy. Part of her thought that he wasn't just a guy, he was the guy. It's so stupid to think that Elijah Mikaelson of all people could be her endgame. Future husband or long term, or anything other than just a friend. He clearly doesn't see her that way. If he wants something he gets it.

If he was interested in her, he would tell her. Elijah is a pretty direct guy, she knows that from watching him chase other girls and how he approaches everything. If he wanted her or loved her, they'd be dating or he would have said something. Maybe it's hypocritical of her to think he should have made a move, but she knows she was obvious. Some of his brothers have mentioned that they think she's into him, but nothing's happened. Elijah isn't an idiot, he can pick up on cues and flirting. Maybe she was reading into it. They never talk about the times they mess around and she knows they should have. They have a code for it for fuck's sake, but they've never really gotten around to addressing it.

She knows what Bonnie and Caroline think-they know everything about the situation. They both thought she and Elijah would start dating. They were just dancing around each other, and it seemed like everyone thought so.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Elena knows she needs to let this go, Elijah is happy, and she should be happy for him. There's an odd sounding knock at the door and Elena gets off the couch to look through the peephole. It's Caroline and Bonnie, with a truly alarming amount of food.

"So, we went with what you said, and got hungry on the way," Bonnie grins and Elena gives them a genuine smile. They did the same thing when Caroline broke up with Tyler, but Elena can't help but feel guilty. It is a nice Friday, full of parties and potential-and she and Elijah weren't in a relationship.

They set the bags of food on the island and Elena's stomach growls for the first time in a few hours. They sort through food and it's a too early for wine, at least on an empty stomach, so they fill their plates and settle in the living room.

"Is it Hayley Marshall?" Caroline asks. Elena shrugs. Bonnie opens something on her phone and nods. They don't sugar coat it. They don't say that she just needs to find someone new-or that he's not the only guy out there. Of course he's not the only dude at Whitmore or in their area. There are billions of men out there, but part of her heart still only wants him.

The rest of the night is full of food, wine, bad movies, and truth. There aren't any real solutions to this mess, no magic wand to make it vanish or replace it with something better. Instead of solutions, they just have support-with a lot of food, wine, and love. Maybe that's all she can hope for right now. It's time to move on and she'll get through this.

It's not like it's the first time she's had a broken heart.