…..I had fun writing this. But well, it kind of wrote itself. I had no plan at all for this. It just sort of popped out all on its own. I switch from first person to third person in the middle, but it is intentional. So don't have issues with it. Ok. XP um…enjoy?
NO REGRETS
Summary: If anyone had ever asked me if I ever regretted I would have laughed in their face. I've never regretted even a single second of my life. MattxMello friendship. Can be viewed as a romance.
I always imagined that people would ask me if I ever regretted it. Any of it. How could they not? I was only 17 when I left behind the only home I had ever really known and traveled half way across the world after a man that I knew would lead me to an early death. I destroyed lives and killed just because he asked me to. Who wouldn't think that I regretted my life?
No one ever asked though. I always wished that someone might though, just so that I could laugh in their face.
I've never regretted even a single second of my life.
Some people would have wondered how it was possible that I did so much for one person, gave up my very life for him, and still not regret it.
No one would have ever understood, but I didn't care. Mello was mine. Just like I was his. I would have done anything he asked, just because he asked. Just like I know that he would have done anything I asked, simply because I asked.
The Mello I knew wasn't the cold, hard, Mello that the world knew. I had known him almost my entire life. My Mello was everything to me.
When we started school and I beat him in the standings, he asked me if I would drop to second and let him take first. I did without hesitating.
When we met Near, and Mello became obsessed with surpassing him, Mello would drop everything if I asked him to take a break and play a game with me. Every time.
When he turned 13, he asked me my name, and I answered automatically, him returning the favor as well.
When I was 13, I had found a cigarette box and asked Mello to try one with me, and we both sat outside inhaling our first taste of nicotine, something that while I enjoyed very much, he didn't.
Then, when L died, Mello came to me and told me that he wanted to leave Wammy's. He stared at me, waiting for me to ask him to stay, and I knew that if I had, he would have sat right down beside me and never thought it again. I bit my tongue and instead, asked him to come back for me when he was ready.
Nearly 2 years later, I got a phone call in the middle of the night.
"Will you come to me, Matt?"
I had left before the sun rose that day. Packed my bags, bought a plane ticket, and rode out to L.A. When my plane landed and I made my way outside, I saw him waiting in a bright cherry red camero, a gift, he told me later, for all those holidays and birthdays he missed. I had laughed and pulled my best friend close to me, for the first time in so long, and just enjoyed the moment.
When he told me that he had joined the mafia, and then asked me if I would be their hacker for them, I just smiled, lit a cigarette, and asked him where I plugged up at.
When he wanted information on the Kira Taskforce in Japan, he asked me to find it for him.
When he came up with a plan to get one of the Death Notes, he asked me to control and guide the missile that had the notebook.
When he found out that hacking wasn't my only major skill, he asked me to create a bomb for him.
When he nearly blew himself up, he asked me to take care of him.
When he found out that Near had a photograph of him, I knew that Mello would have to go and get it personally. I stood in the doorway as he was getting dressed and I asked him not to kill Near.
When he came back without a single drop of blood and an old photograph, he asked me to burn it.
I held him close that night as he told me of a plan he had that would nearly prove Kira's identity. He told me every detail he had worked out so far, including his most likely death and the danger I would be put in. After he finished, he looked up at me, waiting for my question.
I had more than enough reason to do so. He knew it as well. I could have stopped it all with just one question, but I had heard the desperation in his voice. I heard how happy he was, knowing that he would finally come out on top. Regardless of his death, I knew that he wanted to do this.
So I smiled as him.
And told him that all he needed to do was ask me for my help.
As he smiled back, relieved and happy, he asked me to help him kidnap Takada.
The day of the kidnapping, we held each other close, knowing that it was likely that we would never see each other again. He whispered, "Goodbye Mail. I'm really going to miss you."
As I pulled away and headed for my car, I threw him a smile and told him, "See ya Mihael. You won't be missing me for very long!"
I drove off quickly, knowing that my words were just sinking in, thankful more than anything else that he hadn't asked me to live through this. I would've hated to have had a mark on my perfect record.
When a road block cut me off from getting away, I had already spotted two getaways. I rested myself against the steering wheel for a moment before I opened the door. When the bullets hit me, as I fully expected, I closed my eyes and smiled, knowing that Mello would have played his part perfectly and that I would see him soon. I was so happy for him, even dying, that he had finally beaten Near.
Mello was finally number 1.
When they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you die, I had never believed it, but as I laid there, my heart freezing, a memory came to me.
….
"I hate him!" Matt shouted as he slammed the door behind him, the sound causing his roommate to glance up from his school books and raise an eyebrow at the strange behavior.
"Who?" Mello asked calmly, trying to imagine just how terrible a person had to be to piss off the quiet redhead.
"Near! That's who! He stole your spot!"
Matt stomped his way over to Mello and stood over him, glaring down at his best friend.
"Why aren't you angry at him, too!"
Mello tilted his head sideways at the question, setting his book down without looking away and suddenly grabbed Matt and pulled him down.
"You idiot." Mello said as he rolled his eyes at his friend's antics, "He's not that bad. A little cold, I wouldn't want to be his friend, but he's not the demon you're making him out to be."
Matt buried his face into Mello's small chest and sniffled a bit.
"But it's not fair. I gave that spot to you. Not him."
Mello frowned as he finally understood why his friend was so upset. It was just a number, but to Matt, it was so much more. Mello stared down at his best friend clutching onto him and wrapped his arms around him in a silent apology. He barely heard the words mumbled against his chest as Matt's breath evened out.
"Will you take back my spot, Mello?"
Mello set his face in a frown, already knowing that he would do anything his friend asked him. A light sigh left his lips, knowing that he was in for one hell of a challenge. Suddenly, his expression changed faster than lightning into a mischievous smirk. Oh well, he'd always loved a good challenge.
….
I laughed in my head, not having the strength to do so out loud, at the irony.
…..
"Matt! What the hell are you doing?" Mello called out.
Matt jumped and turned at the sudden noise, seeing his best friend standing in front of him, his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Matt gave a shrug and stared back down at the scenes unfolding back on earth.
"I was just thinking." Matt said neutrally as he watched as Near triumphed over Kira, giving Mello his credit for making it possible. Mello gave him a light shove, making enough room for him to witness the scene as well.
A moment of silence passed before Matt spoke up again.
"Hey, Mello?" Matt prompted his friend. Mello gave a noncommittal 'hn?' in response and Matt continued.
"Did you ever regret what happen with us?"
Mello was quiet for a moment. A long moment. Finally, Matt, unable to resist, turned his head to look back at Mello, waiting his answer. Matt was almost shocked to see his long time friend, covering his mouth and seeming to be holding back laughter.
"What?" Matt asked, wondering just what it was that he had missed that was so funny. Mello let go of his mouth and laughter burst forward. He brought said hand down to his stomach as he fell backwards and opened his mouth to answer.
"Matt, I've never regretted even a single second of my life." He said with a smile.
Matt froze for a second before smiling, he really should have expected that.
"Yeah, me neither."
….
So….what did you think? Weird? (I thought it was weird) But I hope you liked it! Even if it was weird.
Oh, I left the ending sort of open for interpretation so as not to offend any religions.
As always, thanks for reading!
Kia.