"You know, you don't have to leave tonight, Emily. Everyone already thinks you're dead- the funeral was arranged four days after I broke the news." JJ pulled the envelope from her purse, setting it on the table, clutched beneath her hands.
"I-I know. It's best if I do."
"Everything you'll need is in this." Her fingers tapped the brown envelope, her vice like grip still evident.
"Thank you, Jayje. For everything." Emily smiled faintly, chuckling like she always did in uneasy settings like this. Reaching a hand across, JJ took one of Emily's, squeezing gently.
"Please?" Prentiss's expression of confusion spoke enough for JJ to know she needed to continue speaking. "I meant what I said earlier, you don't need to leave tonight."
"I need to, for my own protection. For your protection. For all we know Doyle is watching everyone's every move. Who's where, who's doing what. He knew we were dating. He knew where the rest of the team was, when he held me captive; the night I was rushed to the hospital." It was evident that Emily had been crying, and recently. The puffiness in her eye burned away as she held back the tears from the recent memories that flooded back into her mind; along with the memories came pain, an almost lifelike feeling of the pain. The stake being shoved into her stomach, the kicks and hits she suffered through whilst trying to stall the son of a bitch Doyle. Wincing, Emily pulled her hand away from JJ and instinctively went to hold her stomach, to stop the sudden remembrance that she was still in recovery (although finally cleared to move). Pain wasn't only in Emily, it shot right through JJ's heart to see someone she loved suffer this way.
"Hey, hey... I'm here for you, Em." Standing and kneeling beside her, JJ wrapped her arms around the sitting woman, giving her a shoulder to cry on. Being a profiler had it's benefits, but anyone could read that Emily needed someone. JJ held her soothingly, rubbing her back, arm, leg, any part of her that she could to calm the tremors from the sobs that embarked throughout her body. People stared, not knowing what she was going through emotionally, but neither woman noticed. All of JJ's focus was poured into Emily, and not in the way that she often focused on work, but true focus.
Emily felt shattered, the normally stoic, impassive, unphased (but not uncaring) woman was reduced to tears, crumbling from emotional damage, not to even think about the physical damage she endured over the past few weeks. She was haunted by Doyle, endlessly. He had gotten away, and her rest wouldn't come until he finally had a bullet lodged in his skull.
"Sorry." She mouthed dryly, her palms pressing to her eyes in the hopes of stopping the tears. Finding great comfort in the touch of JJ made everything easier, every ghost that haunted and stalked her would disappear in that touch, becoming nothing more than a ghost- a memory. JJ's plush lips pressed to her forehead, trying to send so many emotions to brunette that even she didn't realize she was sending.
"Em?" From the second she had stood up JJ didn't release Emily, in fear that she would leave forever because that was one of the risks of doing this. Once Emily walked away and went into hiding that would be it, the end of their friendship until Doyle was caught. The feeling was worse than having her in witness protection, because although JJ knew Emily would be protected, she wasn't going to have any communication or knowledge of how she was doing. It could be years before Doyle would ever be caught, what if he had truly believed Emily was dead and given up? Everyone else that loved Emily (besides Hotch) believed the lie. "Please stay, just this night." Knowing she wasn't nearly strong enough to walk away, Emily nodded. Oh god did she need JJ, and thankfully she was adamant on keeping her there until ready.
Paranoia crept up at every corner, every stop sign they stopped at as JJ drove them to her apartment. Each passing car Emily felt the fear of Doyle under her skin. He was winning the mind game, and she couldn't prevent it, not now. JJ's outstretched hand worked, though. She kept him out of her mind, kept Emily's sanity within.
The door had shut, every light in the house being off. Arms bound around each other, not daring to let go. JJ couldn't, not yet, not ever. Without Emily she was nothing, not even a shadow of who she was before. Accepting the promotion that was forced on her was the hardest thing JJ had lived with, but their relationship had managed to work all of those months of not seeing her daily. Whenever Emily was back from a case they would visit, take turns spending the night depending on whether Will had Henry or not. Everything was working out between their hectic schedules, and part of JJ loved the craziness it brought. Although JJ wanted to comfort the other woman, the feeling of holding her calmed herself, bringing back the feeling of normality, only if it were for tonight. "I've missed this." She confessed against brunette's chest. "It.. It killed me that I wasn't able to be by your side every minute when you were in the hospital, how I was only able to see you the once while you were in physical therapy and training."
"I'm here now." Looking deeply into the blue eyes that were barely lit up by the nonexistent lighting, Emily's hand raised and cupped the blondes cheek, she knew the feelings and words she wanted to explain would be unexplainable, that only true actions of love could express. The glimmer in JJ's eye shined, tears flowing down both women's cheeks as their lips found each other, gentle, lovingly. It was all too real, having to wait weeks before seeing the one she loved, finally having her there, under her palms, against her lips; fully alive.
Emily initiated another kiss, fingers grasping into JJ's hair, pulling her closer. Their bodies pressed against the door, the wall, most importantly one another. The taste of her missed lover, one she wouldn't forget.
Clothing eventually shed to the floor, Emily's bare back pressed against the cool wall, a searing heated kiss trembled down her scarred chest, down her toned stomach, just above the newest scars that marked her skin- healed, but visible for possibly the rest of her life. JJ hesitated touching the sensitive skin, knowing just how painful the damaged nerves could be, but she also knew that pain wasn't necessarily a bad pain. Emily's hand pushed the blondes bangs out of her face, settling her trembling fingers into the hair, trying to encourage her. Looking upwards, JJ hoped to see if it was alright to touch the area she was, the look of pure bliss screamed yes to her. Hearing Emily moaning from enjoyment, JJ knew there wasn't a damn thing that would stop her now. A part of JJ wanted to have a discussion with Emily, to let her know that she hadn't invited her over just to get each other off one last time, to have breakup sex, because that wasn't what JJ wanted. She didn't want to leave the most perfect person whom had ever walked into her life. Struggling within herself, JJ was snapped out of the trance by a pleading voice, Emily's begging for her to continue, and she could only oblige the woman.
Sex with Emily was perfect. Everything about the woman was perfect. Laying side by side, JJ wound their fingers together, kissing each finger that rest between hers. The hour of the night didn't matter, sleeping would be a waste of their last few precious hours together; JJ fully intended on savouring each moment, each second she could together happily because she knew as soon as she let Emily go heartbreak would set in instantly. That feeling was mutual, even if JJ didn't realize it.
Every breath against JJ's shoulder intoxicated Emily with her scent. She moved in closer, pressing her lips to the blondes bare shoulder.
"How's Henry?" Emily asked, shifting to cuddle furthermore into her lover.
"He's starting to do better.. He cried for weeks after your funeral."
"I'm sorry.."
"It's for the best."
"I wish he could see me." Smiling, JJ kissed her cheek.
"Once we catch Doyle-"
"We will." Emily interrupted, finishing the conversation with a scorching kiss. Rolling Emily on to her back, JJ consumed Emily's lips with kisses, kissing her as passionately as possible. If this was their last night for weeks, months, even years, JJ wanted every second remembered.
The sun had risen as early as it always did on typical May mornings, a thin layer of fog covering the streets outside. As JJ opened her eyes, she didn't quite want to, incase the night before had only been a dream. It wasn't, a her eyes found the brunette half asleep, laying on her stomach, arm draped across JJ's chest. Sighing happily and with relief she sunk back into the bed, not the least bit tired, no headache to accompany the major lack of sleep. Within a couple of minutes Emily had also awoken, mainly because JJ kept stroking her arm.
"Morning, beautiful."
Smiling shyly and blissfully, Emily kissed JJ's cheek.
"Morning, Jayje. God, it's early."
"Haha.. Not really. We slept till nine."
"Doesn't feel like it."
"Well.." JJ's hand began to wander from her lovers arm, slowly dipping along her spine, causing shivers. "If we hadn't kept each other up until five, it would feel like it."
"How are you so perky in the morning.." Emily half heartedly asked, moaning and wriggling to the touch. Damn, did that woman know how to make a miserable feeling disappear.
"Would you like breakfast? There's still some leftover batter from the pancakes Henry and I made yesterday morning."
"I'd love that. First things first.." Emily captured JJ in a loving kiss.
"Coffee?" JJ teased, climbing out of bed and slipping in to a robe. She handed Emily her spare robe, musing to herself how adorable her girlfriend was when she hadn't gotten enough sleep.
The morning passed too quickly for either of their liking. Even the shower wasn't spent alone, their bodies and souls craving one another. JJ's body was spent, having had too much pleasure she found her legs quavering with each step.
"Henry will be home from school soon, it's my day with him.."
"Oh. It'll confuse him if he sees me, huh."
"Maybe a little."
"We can't have him telling everyone I'm not dead, they'll think he has problems." JJ's smile faltered, only being there at the mention of her son.
"Jen," Emily lift JJ's chin until their eyes met, hands intwining together. "I will be back. When the time is right."
"I know.. But what if he's never caught? What if Doyle decides he's done destroying you, hell, he already thinks you're dead."
"He won't stop until he has Declan, and he never will. Jennifer, that son of a bitch will be brought to justice, and the second he is you're going to be the only matter in my world. Just you and Henry." Wiping away any tears, Emily kissed her once more. Their final kiss before she dressed, the brown envelope with her new identities in her hands.
"We'll stay in contact somehow, Jayje, even if it's something silly like online scrabble. We will find a way, we always do."
"True, even when we were working together. I love you, Jayje."
"I love you, Em."
"Oh Jennifer.." Love and emotions consumed her.
As Emily exited JJ's house, a part of her felt like it had been torn from her. Heart and soul, gone, taken from her. Each step away from the building felt harder to take, like shackles were attached to her ankles, a ball and chain on each foot, weighing her down. The taxi drive to the airport felt like eternity, until the envelope vibrated. Scrambling to open it without shredding all of the content inside, she retrieved a phone from inside. There was a note attached.
"Don't worry, this number isn't traceable, neither is yours. There was no way in hell I'd let you be off-grid without having any means of contact." Grinning like a fool, Emily knew it was JJ. Holding the phone to her heart she breathed. This was doable, surviving, waiting Doyle out.