So this story came to be the other day and I swear it was the biggest epiphany that I've ever had...

...Ulquiorra and Orihime don't have much shower sex!

Poor them, so here's a small one shot of some time alone in the bathroom *smirks evilly*

Orihime knew that the minute Tsubaki sliced through the chest of the hollow that had come up from behind her by surprise that she would have to shower for ages to remove the stains and stench of blood from her hair and clothes. Apparently it wasn't bad enough that she was already covered in mud and sweat, now she had gruesome red liquid to top it all off.

The only thing that made the situation better was the fact that she wasn't completely alone. Ulquiorra, who happened to be the only one with her, had also managed to cover himself in mud and blood trying to protect her from the wrath of the beasts. Yet she was almost certain that he hadn't broken a sweat, she was al,so jealous.

She made a quiet noise of disgust as she wiped her mouth and found it laden with blood. There wasn't a sign of any more hollows in the muddy field they were in, so Orihime let herself relax slightly.

Ulquiorra assumed the same of their situation and let his guard drop, but not completely. He turned to her - his face changing from the cold mask to softness and concern. "Are you alright?" He asked her while walking towards her. Other from the bruises and deep scratch on her arm she was mostly unharmed. "Yep!" She replied cheerfully, through he didn't look too convinced.

After a few minutes the sky decided to open up and pelt rain on them, Ulquiorra look mildly annoyed - this was just another way for her to get sick - and Orihime laughed openly. "If that isn't a sign, that I don't know what is,"

"And what specifically is that sign," Ulquiorra asked, though he was fairly certain of the answer.

"I think it's pretty obvious. Even the heavens think we're filthy and need showers,"

"Showers?" Ulquiorra's tone grew darker and slightly mischievous.

Orihime continued hesitantly. "Y-yes, you know, standing under a stream of water, using soap to wash your skin, a form of cleansing..."

"I am aware of what a shower is, Orihime," his still slightly unreadable.

"Then why did you ask?" Orihime tilted her head to the side, she was beyond confused.

"I was referring to your choice of word, showers," he added emphasis on the 's'.

"Well we both need one. I need a shower. You need a shower. Thus, showers," she imitated the way he had said the word.

Orihime shook her head; some of her muddy orange hair whipped in her face, splattering grime and blood into her mouth. She gagged and spat out as much as she could onto the ground, not caring how un-lady like she must have seemed.

Ulquiorra just responded to her explaination with an almost inaudible 'mmm'. He grabbed her hand and they walked back silently to their apartment.

A few moments later and they were standing on the 'welcome' mat outside their apartment, dripping muddy water onto the entrance. That sure would be a hassle to clean up later. Deciding that the best solution was to remove her shoes and carry them to the laundry room, Orihime quickly untied her shoes and headed down the hall as quickly and lightly as she could in an attempt not to stain the carpet too much, she could hear Ulquiorra's equally soft footsteps behind her.

Orihime dumped her soiled shoes in the sink, and made a promise to herself to clean them up later. It was getting close to midnight and she really didn't want to bother with the mess right now.

When she turned around to leave the room she was surprised to find Ulquiorra completely undressed, except for his black boxer briefs. His abdominal muscles were lined with dirt and grime, defining them even more. His muscled arms weren't much better, she was a minute away from a nosebleed. To cover up her slight embarrassment and arousal she raised a single eyebrow at him, yet he studiously ignored it and walked out of the room.

Orihime decided to copy him, carefully peeling off her clothes. She was left in her bra and panties as she tossed all her filthy clothes into the washing machine. She ignored the slight tinge of annoyance that Ulquiorra hadn't even offered to do the washing for her. She was almost tempted to take his clothes out and make him wash them himself, but that was childish and would take way more time and effort.

She was in her personal shower moments later, fighting with the tap to turn on the hot water. Goosebumps erupted all over her skin as the cold water suddenly assaulted her naked frame. A shriek of surprise escaped her lips, her teeth chattering in her mouth in response to the extreme temperature change.

A pale hand shot out beside her, yanking the hot water on. Orihime turned around to find a very naked, very mud-covered Ulquiorra standing behind her. His clothes hadn't managed to keep the mud from covering his skin. In that respect they were perfectly matched.

"Something wrong with your shower?" She asked him innocently.

"I like this one better," he replied. Instead of moving under the water to clean his own body, Ulquiorra stayed where he was, moving his hands towards her waist. He rubbed slow, soothing circles on her skin, effectively cleaning the area. When he was finished with her sides he moved onto her back, rubbing the bar of soap across it. Ulquiorra seemed to be following some sort of deliberate pattern, ignoring the very intimate parts of her body, which were by this point aching with heat.

He moved onto her legs, being the cleanest part, he was done with her legs the fastest, standing back up to his full height. Orihime turned around at his indication, letting him continue with her chest and stomach, still avoiding her aching breasts.

Yet he continued to clean her off, moving from the soap to shampoo, Orihime let him wash her hair. His long fingers worked miracles on her tangles, effectively removing them without pain. When she stood right under the spray again, she could feel his hands moving softly over her face, letting the shampoo mixed with the water to help remove the blood and dirt.

"Ulquiorra," she said when she stepped forward to wipe the water out of her eyes, "you've missed a few important spots."

He offered her a small mischievous smile. "Haven't you heard of saving the best till last?" His voice was ragged and very sexy.

Orihime knew that her face was heating up, and not from the water that was spraying on her partially cleaned body. "Yes, but this is intolerable."

He decided to be cheeky. "The mud? I know. It isn't that pleasant," her reached for the bar of soap again, but Orihime snagged it from his hand before he had a complete grip on it. "Orihime," he protested, "I was going to use that."

Orihime smirked at him, trying to ignore her embarrassment. "Why don't you let me do the honors?" She tried to be equally sexually appealing as him.

Ulquiorra looked skeptical for a moment before complying with her request. He stepped under the stream of hot water and he shook his head as soon as it was soaked with water, sending mud flying around the walls of the shower. Instead of scolding him for his actions she got on her tiptoes and kissed him chastely.

Orihime took advantage of the soap in her hand, rubbing it together with her hands, and then set it down on the ledge. She decided to start simple, and then slowly move to more sensitive areas. She could be just as much of a tease if she wanted.

The worst of the mud was on his back and shoulders, so Orhime made sure to thoroughly clear them. Using small circular motions, dragging her nails lightly over his skin. She massaged his tight muscles. The only problem was that his hair was still coated with mud, and it was constantly dripping, erasing the progress she made.

She found that her height restriction was getting in her way. "Ulquiorra, you're going to have to kneel," she whispered in his ear. She wouldn't be able to clean his hair properly.

Ulquiorra grinned slightly and knelt down in the tub. He started to pepper small kissed on her stomach and inner thighs, causing slight shivers to ripple through her body. If he kept going she would forget what she was supposed to be doing.

Grabbing the shampoo, Orihime poured a generous amount on his scalp and massaged it into his hair until their was loads of suds. Ulquiorra seemed to pause his kissed in delight when she started to massaged his hair, she knew he loved it when she did that.

When she instructed he stood up back to his full height to rinse the shampoo out. Orihime couldn't see how such a simple procedure seemed to be so enticing to watch. Her eyes were glued to his upper torso and arms, watching the muscles contract and loosen and he ran his fingers through his hair, he was absolutely irresistible.

"Orihime, you are staring, maybe you just can't keep your hands off me," he was teasing her again. He would get a taste of his own medicine.

Instead of kissing him again, Orihime boldly grabbed hold of his manhood, getting exactly to the point. She stroked him one. She took pride in how fast his eyes closed and his head tilted back. He opened them again and his green eyes were blazing, looking straight into her own, they were urging her to continue. "You're right," she whispered huskily, "I can't keep my hands off you. Maybe I should stop," she released him and turned around, talking a step out of the shower.

What she didn't expect was how fast he would react. He grabbed her by the waist and spun hers round, having her large chest pushed flush against the wall under the water, she could feel Ulquiorra's erection pushing against her back as he leaned into her. "There's no way you are going to get away with that one, Orihime,"

She giggled and pretended to try and escape, wiggling her body against his manhood - knowing the view that he had. When he spoke again, his mouth was right against her ear. "Do you know how irresistible you are right now?" He basically growled hungrily into her ear.

Orihime arched her back even more, forcing her backside to push back more into Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra's hands held her waist in a tight grip as he reveled in pleasure. She could feel them flexing slightly as she moved her lower body, purposely brushing against him. A low moan came from him, followed by an even tigher hold of her waist. On elf his hands headed south, grazing her ass, following it's feminine curve to the cavern between her legs.

It was Orihime turn to modems in pleasure as Ulquiorra's long fingers prodded her sex lightly. But his hand moved away quickly, this time creating a trail up her stomach and onto her right breast. His other hand traced a similar trail, until his hands were filled with her large assets. His fingers moved expertly over her nipples, they hardened in response, bringing more heat to her core.

Orihime wanted more, so she turned slowly, allowing Ulquiorra to place his hands back on her chest when she came to face him. They had done this enough times for Ulquiorra to know exactly what's he wanted. His lips crashed down onto her, his teeth hungrily nipping and pulling on her lower lip.

She opened her mouth to his when she felt his tongue probing her bottom lip. Their was a battle for dominance between the toe of them, both unrelenting and unwilling to give into the other.

Even their bodies were trying to overpower the other. While Ulquiorra ground roughly against Orihime, she wrapped her right keg around his hip, pressing her body into his. They were both panting hard as they broke off from the kiss.

The stream of water muffled their quick breathed, also causing Orihime to blink rapidly when she opened her eyes. She watched Ulquiorra's chest rise and fall in a motion much like she could feel her own doing. Inspired by the moment, Orihime hooked her other leg around Ulquiorra's hip and out her arms on his shoulders, he helped in hoisting her up.

Ulquiorra wrapped his arms around her back, supporting her weight. He took her mouth again; kissing her with such a passion that Orihime couldn't stop herself from moaning loudly. He moved forward then, bringing them both under the spray of the shower, until Orihime could feel the moist wall of the shower on her back. Using her position to help him, Ulquiorra move done hand onto her hip and used his other to position himself at her entrance.

He moved inside her quickly, and then put his newly freed hand onto her bare hip. Ulquiorra wasn't hesitant to start rocking inside her and Orihime let out a gasp of pleasure. She reveled in the feeling of it, his hands holding her hips firmly, and the grunts he made out of pleasure. Orihime was taller than him for once in this position, and bent her head down to kiss him. She couldn't help but twine her fingers into his soaked hair, fisting them and pulling on them as Ulquiorra started to move at a faster pace.

The constant showering of water had be a monotonous noise and sensation before, but now, as it cooled down significantly, Orihime noticed it. Pulling one of her hands out of Ulquiorra's hair, she reached behind her and quickly pushed the tab in, effectively cutting off the supply of water. When she fisted her hand back into Ulquiorra's hair, he kissed her again. As warm as they were in the midst of passion, the cold water had taken its toll enough to bring goosebumps on both their skin.

Now, without the continuous rushing of water in her ears, Orihime could properly hear the ground and panting sounds coming from Ulquiorra as he held her against the wall. As he ground their hips together still, Orihime couldn't help but think of how strenuous it must be for him to hold her up, even if she was relatively light and he was plenty strong enough.

"Ulquiorra," Orihime whispered in his ear, " put me down, I want to change positions."

It was only for a moment, as Orihime was put down on her own two feet again, that Ulquiorra was pulled out of her. She turned around and bent over, putting her hands out in front of her against the wall of the shower. Ulquiorra used his knees to spread her legs before he entered her once again, continuing with a much faster rhythm than before.

It was amazing, the difference positioning made on Ulquiorra's movements. Without her weight to deal with, Ulquiorra was able to push even further into her, and much faster than before, eliciting appreciative mewls and gasps from her. His fingers roamed all over her stomach and chest, unable to settle on any specific spot. But Orihime didn't mind, it helped drive her closer to her climax.

She arched her back more as she could feel the beginnings of her climax to hit her. Orihime could feel the muscles contracting around Ulquiorra's member, helping him reach the same state of ecstasy she was riding out. His thrusts became quicker and she knew he would soon let go. He released and rode out his orgasm with a few slow strokes inside her.

It took a few brief moments before Orihime caught her breath and was able to speak again. "I think I'm going to need another shower."

Finito!

Wow! *blushes* that got way more intense than it was supposed to. Oh, me and my dirty, dirty mind. Tell me what you think and please feel free to drop a review about how perverted I am.

Bye for nowwww ;)