Title: The Man Never Found
Disclaimer: Me no own, You no sue.
Warning: (implied) slash, angst
Pairing: (implied) Howard/Steve
Note: 2nd POV - Tony
It's that time of the year and your father has started his drinking in earnest.
Not even your mother will bother him, right now.
You think you should've followed suit, but curiosity was in your blood and you quietly entered the study.
If he heard you enter, Howard gave no sign, just continued to glare at the bottle of whiskey in his hands.
"Pops?" you venture as you close the door.
Howard looks up at you then and you see the tears on his face.
"What is it, boy?" he asks, angrily wiping at his cheeks and eyes.
You tell him that you want to know why he spends a week behind closed doors at this time every year. You had expected him to angrily turn you away, to coldly tell you to mind your own. You did not expect for him to double over, face in his hands and body shaking with silent and desperate sobs.
The next day will be one of the few times Howard looks you in the eye.
"When you love someone," he'll say, "and they're lost, never give up on them. Okay? If they cannot be found, find them. Never give up."
You will ask that he explain it some more, but he'll have closed up and once again become that cold and distant man.
-z-
You remember once asking Auntie Peggy about it. You remember how she had just teared up and shook her head.
"He was never the same once the searches had been called off," she said, trying to speak through the pain in her throat. "He blames himself."
"The search for who?" you ask, because that's who you want to know about. You want to know who this person was that they could cause so much grief and pain when they had gone missing.
Aunt Peggy had tried to smile through her pain, but it looked like a grimace.
"Steve," was all she could say as she quickly stood and left, hand over her mouth and tears on her face.
You tried to wrap your head around it.
Steve.
This man must've been one hell of a guy.
-z-
It's not until years later, when Director Fury leads in Steve Rodgers, and you're shaking his hand and looking into his eyes, that yes, yes, this is one hell of a guy.
End.