"Tasha!" Clint's voice sounded through the whole avengers building. He shouted the redheads nickname again. "Tasha!" Natasha was on the sofa. She was looking at the TV, but she kept on zapping because she didn't have the energy to concentrate. She also didn't have enough energy to say 'yes Clint I'm here'. She just wanted to be alone. "Nat!" This time Natasha could hear that Clint was getting closer. She just zapped again when Clint came in. "Didn't you hear me? I shouted like an idiot!". "No sorry". While she spoke her words she didn't look at him. She couldn't. She was able to see a reflection of her teammate in the window behind the TV and that was all she needed. "Are you okay Nat?" Natasha could feel that Clint looked at here but she still focused her eyes on the window. She tried to say something but the words didn't really come out. Clint walked closer to here and sat next her. "Tasha it's not your fault please do not blame yourself". The widow was fighting to hold back all her tears, she didn't want Clint to see her like this. Not again. Her eyes were still focused on the window. "Tasha please". While he said that he moved closer to her and touched her arm. Natasha slowly removed her eyes from Clint's reflection, to the real Clint next to her. When her eyes finally founded his, one of her hold back tears fell out of her eye. She tried to wipe it away as quick as possible. But Clint already saw it. Before she could reach her tear, Clint already wiped it away. " Ohw girl". Clint whispered his words in her ear while pulling her head on his chest. "Did I scare I'm away, did I?" Natasha her voice skipped a little. "His a big boy Nat of course not". "But why did he leave what did I do wrong?" Clint felt her shocking and pulled her closer. Another tear fell out followed by the third one. "Do you think he'll come back?" She looked Clint right in his eyes. "I think he will" he answered her question while wiping away her other tears. Natasha hadn't noticed that they had fallen out and was a little ashamed. Her cheeks turned red.
" I really didn't thought you and Bruce would be together." Natasha didn't really react to him. "I mean it's okay but I just didn't see it coming". "Neither did I" Natasha her voice was quiet. "What's that supposed to mean?". Clint didn't sound angry or irritated, but just concerned. He stroke her hair gently. "It means that I've been thinking and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'll never have what you have, but I just want to have somebody of my own. I've nothing to give and neither does he. Maybe I don't really love him and maybe he'll never love me, but we could be together. I could never make someone happy never. But we're booth monsters so I just..." she stopped speaking because she couldn't find words anymore. Clint could do nothing accept stare at his best friend for a couple of seconds or minutes Natasha didn't really knew but it definitely took way to long. "Nat you're no monster, you've saved so many lives, how can you even say that? And of course you could make someone happy. Why are you saying this why!". She looked back at Clint and saw in his eyes that she had hurt him with her words.
The silence that followed was painful. After a time that seemed to take forever, Clint broke the uncomfortable quietness with a little whisper: "You could have made me happy" Natasha her green eyes looked at the once of Clint. "Of course not! Be reasonable! I could never give you anything you have now. Kids, a nice home. You know that. It would never have worked." Clint looked at her. Just looked, waiting for her to take back what she said. Or at least say something to make this conversation less painful. "Maybe there once was a time I could have made you happy". She answered his look. "But I will never be able to make you happy right now, never". She said the word 'never' a little louder than se mend to. She was angry with herself and it was way more painful to say this than Natasha imagined it would be. She had loved the idea of her and Clint together, but she just couldn't be with him. Clint stood up from the sofa. His eyes still at his favorite redhead. He went down on his knees in front of the sofa, put his hands on her waist and looked up at Natasha. The widow was forced to look in his eyes and see his pain. Nothing in the world could hurt her more. Clint just sat there, looking at his best friend. He was close to tears. After a time that couldn't take long enough Clint stood up, slowly. Natasha wanted him to stay, but she didn't say anything. She didn't want to make everything worse. Clint kissed her forehead. Natasha felt her fourth tear coming up, but she didn't let it fall out of her eye. He slowly walked towards the door. When he reached it he turned around. Natasha could see he was still in pain." How can you say the word 'never' when you've seen the thinks we have? Everything is possible Nat. maybe not right now, but maybe one day… He hesitated and couldn't find the right words. "Just never say never again, please." He didn't wait for an answer. He walked away from the room. Natasha couldn't take it anymore and drowned in a lake of her own tears.