A letter to home
(Sam is sitting in the swamp with a notepad and a pencil writing a letter)
Sam: Dear Ma…how are things going back in Arizona…I hope everyone is doing good…I would give anything to be there…how's things going on the ranch I hope buttercup and Snowflake are well but let me catch you up on things over here we've had a lot of stuff stolen from camp lately and the other day when Hawkeye and Trapper were taking a shower someone reached in and grabbed their clothes…let's just say the camp saw more then we ever needed too
(the scene changes back to the shower were Hawkeye and Trapper are someone reach's in and grabs their clothes)
Trapper: Hey, hey
Hawkeye: What's the big idea
Trapper: (turn's off the shower) now what do we do were stranded here in our birthday suits
Hawkeye: Well I think the best thing would be to run for your life
Trapper: That will work (run out and hide behind a jeep) OK I don't see anyone
Hawkeye: Move
(they start running towards their tent)
Announcer: Attention all personal
Hawkeye: Oh no, no, no
Announcer: All surgical personal please report to OR incoming wounded
Trapper: This can't be good
(everybody starts running into the compound Frank, Sam, Henry and Margret walk out of the mess tent and see Hawkeye and Trapper)
Henry: Oh…my…gosh
Margret: My word
Frank: Holy cow
Sam: Poor guys
(they walk up to Trapper and Hawkeye who are obvisoly embarrassed)
Trapper: Hey guys what's going on
Henry: You tell us
Margret: Yea starting with were your clothes are
Hawkeye: They were stolen out of the shower Henry
Frank: Henry things have been getting snatched up all over camp now we have to do something about this
Henry: Well I'm doing my best…now look men
(turns around Hawkeye and Trapper are gone)
Henry: Well that settles that
(Henry walks away)
Sam: It turns out we found all of our stuff about half a mile out of camp…they had used Hawkeye and Trap's clothes to dress up their scarecrows in the cornfield…but let me catch you up on our coronal Henry Blake…he thought it would be a great idea to start have colistinics at 7:00 a.m. let's just say it's not the most poplar thing to hit the camp since white bread
(Henry walks into Sam's tent she is in bed asleep)
Henry: Come on Sam lets get up
Sam: (rolls over) Let's not
Henry: Come on up
Sam: (Rolls up and sit's up) Henry I left a call for February
Henry: Come on Thompson
Sam: (gets up and put's on her house robe) Fine Henry (they walk out)
(Sam and Henry walk into the swamp)
Henry: (walks over to Hawkeyes bed) Pierce
Hawkeye: go away henry
Henry: up
Hawkeye: Henry I just finished 12 hours in OR now if you don't let me sleep I'm afraid I'll have to sale you to the enemy
Henry: Pierce
Hawkeye: Would ya (reachs for his robe Sam hands it to him) Trap
Trapper: (laying in his bed asleep) what ??
Henry: get up
Trapper: I just got in bed I was on post op duty last night
Sam: As was I (starts towards the door)
Henry: Sam get back here
Trapper: Henry if you don't let me sleep I'm going to forget how
Henry: Come on
Trapper: fine I'll get up (sit's up on the side of his bed) Henry who's bright idea was it to start doing colistinics at 7:00 in the morning
Henry: mine
Sam: (sit's down beside trapper) Henry drop it I mean you look like death yourself
Hawkeye: Yea Henry tell us the truth
Henry: Well
Frank (walks in) is everyone ready for colistinics
Hawkeye: Get him !!
(they start pelting him with pillows)
Sam: yep that's right it ended up not being Henrys idea at all it was Frank's…but speaking of Frank let me tell you about the argument him and Margret had the other day…well let me start from the beginning we were shelled preety hard the other day…and the army and it's bad judgment in distance decided it was going to throw a shell right next to my tent…nothing was severly damaged but it did colapse my house…I was lucky when it hit I was in the shower…but the guys were playing poker in the swamp and witnessed the whole thing
(scene flashs back to the guys in the swamp)
Hawkeye: OK the reds are worth 25 the blues are worth 50 and the whites are worth a dollar
( a bomb goes off )
( they all dunk under the table )
Hawkeye: Wow…that was close
Trapper: 5 more yards and we would have inter changble parts
Dirty John: (looks up over the table) Sam and Mila might have them though
Hawkeye: (looks over the table) what do you mean ?? (looks in the direction of Sam's tent and sees it's collapsed) Sam !!
Trapper: (looks over) Mila !!!
Hawkeye: Come on (they run out)
Trapper: (runs over to where her tent was) Sam, Mila can you hear me
Hawkeye: Lets get them out of there
Trapper: (starts to dig though the ruble) Sam, Mila
Sam: (they walk up behind them in there robe's and wet hair) What?
Mila: Yea
Hawkeye: Sam, Mila where are you ??
Sam: Right here
Trapper and Hawkeye: (look over their shoulder) SAM !!…MILA !! (run over and hug's them)
Sam: What's going on (looks over at the ruble were their tent was) our tent !!!
Hawkeye: it's OK Sam
Mila: Where will we sleep, what about our stuff
Trapper: (pulling a box out from the ruble) was most of ya'lls stuff in your foot locker
Sam: (crying into Hawkeye) yyyy…yes
Trapper: Well they survived the inpact
Hawkeye: And as far as a place to sleep ya'll can bunck in the swamp for a couple of days
Sam: You sure that's OK
Trapper: Sure
Mila: thanks guys
Hawkeye: No problem now come on lets get ya'll moved in (they walk away)
(it's about 11:00 at night Sam and Mila are in the swamp on two cot's that have been pushed together Sam is wearing a night shirt Mila is wearing pj's and brushing each others hair)
(Hawkeye and Trapper enter)
Sam: You guy's look beat
Trapper: We feel beat
Hawkeye: I need a drink
Trapper: (sit's down on his cot and starts to take of his pant's) I need a cot(looks down) found one (lays down and covers up)
Mila: Tough day huhhh…
Hawkeye: (putting his glass down and sit's back on his cot) I think we sewed up enough guy's for two more war's
Sam: we'll let's just go to sleep
Hawkeye: (throwing his pant's on his foot locker) I'll agree with that…good night
Sam: good night…nite trap
Mila: good night hawk…good night trap
Trapper: (half asleep) yea
(Sam and Mila get into bed and they turn out the light's)
(about 15 minutes later Mila is half asleep when frank enters turns on his lamp and head's for the steal)
Mila: Sam…sam (shaking her awake)
Sam: What ??
Mila: Look were ferret face is at ???
Sam: With any luck in front of a firing squad (rolls over and see's frank)
Sam: (whispers and jumps up trying to keep from waking trap and Hawkeye) Frank what are you doing get away from there
Frank: No mom I want a slice of the pie
Sam: Frank it's me Sam
Frank: But you let sister have a piece
Sam: Frank are you drunk
Hawkeye: (wakes up and looks over) Frank get away from there before I put your head in traction
Sam: but dad mom said I could
Hawkeye: Is he drunk
Sam: As a skunk
Frank: I think I'll take a little nap now (falls back on trapper)
Trapper: (wakes up startled) Wha…wha …(looks down and see's frank) Frank get off me (frank's passed out) Frank (pulls himself out from under Frank) What dose a guy have to do to get some sleep around here (stands up and then falls back on Mila and Sam's bed and straightens up into the middle)
Mila: Trapper get out of our bed
(no response)
Sam: Trapper !!
(no response Mila sit's up more)
Mila: Trapper (looks down Trapper is fast asleep)
Sam: Now what do we do
Hawkeye: Leave him alone let him sleep
Mila: but what about us
Hawkeye: go to sleep
Sam: but what about trapper
Hawkeye: dose trapper really look like he's going to pull anything
(they look down at trapper who is dead asleep)
Sam: I guess not
Hawkeye: OK then it's settled goodnight (turns out the light and Sam lays down beside Trapper and Mila)
(hours pass and the sun comes up which is an unpleasant awaking to a hung over frank who is still in trappers bed)
Frank: Oh I want to die
(trapper wakes up and notices he's in bed with Mila and Sam)
Trapper: Where am I ???
Hawkeye: (wakes up) morning sleeping beauty
Frank: stop the yelling
Trapper: How did I get here
Mila: you collapsed in our bed last night
Trapper: sorry girls
Mila: (goes to hug trapper) that's OK
Sam: MILA !!!
Mila: (pulls back inbarrsed) Opp's sorry