This story was written all thanks to the lovely tumblr user raimagnolia, whose prompt post I stumbled upon today. To really summarize the prompt into short words, it went along as such:
"One day during the early days of Hidan and Kakuzu's partnership, their bickering results in Hidan stubbornly refusing to 'move from his spot', and Kakuzu, sick and tired of him, leaves him on the road. As time passes and the rain continues, Hidan's anger slowly simmers down to a feeling of emptiness as he wonders if Kakuzu is even coming back or not. He thinks of how much of his life he's spent alone, and cannot help but feel jealous as the passerbys all seemed ignorant to the concept of loneliness. Then, Kakuzu suddenly shows up with an umbrella, telling him to 'stop being such a baby', and Hidan is much relieved to see he'd returned. Feeling less empty, they return to their usual routine of bickering."
My take on the story behind it. Enjoy!
He knew he was in for a lot of shit when they all but shoved the cloak in his face (at least it was clean, but hey—a little manners would have been nice. Not that he knew much about manners). The ring they handed to him in a much more civilized fashion, and Hidan had even thought of tossing it into the stream out of spite. But no, he knew by the looks on the faces of his guides—yes, guides not captors, for he was definitely making this decision on his own—that this was something serious, and even someone like him knew when to not fuck around. It became more evident that this was indeed the right choice to make when he'd entered the dreary caverns that the organization was situated in, and Hidan had never seen a more colossal piece of statuary in his life. But that mattered little, for that very life was why these psychopaths had come chasing after his tail in the first place. While he'd never really been surreptitious with the affair, it had still been somewhat of a surprise during their first meeting.
He might have spat a few choice words at the holographic image of a man who supposedly called himself the 'leader', when the details of his new lifestyle were laid out to him. His preference to work in solitude going entirely unheeded, the tinny voice of this 'leader' more or less commanded him to form a two-man team with the very last person he'd want to be breathing the same air as. Though he'd continue the rest of his eternal life denying it, he really did get his ass handed to him by this huge bastard during that little skirmish out in the fields and just looking at those eyes regarding him with blatant distaste—well, at least it didn't seem like he was the only one in disagreement with the arrangements—sent his blood boiling in his veins. If there was anything Hidan hated more than pretentious, asshole motherfuckers who thought they were better than him, they were pretentious, asshole motherfuckers who thought they were better than him with good reason. Of course he didn't actually believe this guy was superior to him, but while Hidan ran his mouth insulting every nook and cranny of the man known as Kakuzu of the Waterfalls, he had to admit he was good. Good in every way Hidan disagreed with and hated, but he possessed just the perfect balance of finesse and brutishness, of dexterity and stamina that Hidan couldn't help but be slightly envious.
They'd tell him it was due to his age, of course. Decades upon decades of experience and training. The Jashinist would have immediately called bullshit had he not any knowledge beforehand, and as much as he wanted to do so, considering what Kakuzu was capable of, he had to admit that ninety years was not too far-fetched after all.
Despite everything—or what little—he knew about this mysterious mercenary from the north, it was still pretty damn hard to get along with him. Perhaps it had something to do with his own inability to shut the fuck up about everything that annoyed him to annoy Kakuzu, but frankly he was left with little other choice, and Hidan was not a patient man. Kakuzu rarely spoke on their missions, and what little phrases he did say were short, clear and to the point. The silence was unnerving as they walked endless stretches of road and forest trails and dirt tracks, and so Hidan filled it up with inane chatter. Something, anything to elicit a reaction from the man walking two paces ahead of him.
At first glance it would seem like Kakuzu was ignoring him. But the Jashinist knew that was far from the case; the man saw and heard everything: every cough, every sigh, and even the whisper of squirrels disturbing the undergrowth around them did not pass unnoticed by him. He'd found this out the hard way, during his third official mission upon his formal acceptance into Akatsuki as a member. Kakuzu had finally replied to his excessive need to provide his own commentary about all the things he hated about early mornings, and the dark figure ahead had addressed him so abruptly and unexpectedly that it almost stopped the Jashinist in his tracks. But what really stopped him in his tracks was when he realized what the bastard had actually said to him.
Oh he doesn't remember much now, but it had been a clever-worded jibe to the strict teachings of his cult that Hidan nearly frothed at the mouth in rage. After that, he really let go of what little restraint he'd had and began spitting curses for real. They were callous remarks, childish insults aimed at petty things, but yes they were cruel, and boy had he talent for being such. His vocabulary may not be as extensive as some, but he utilized what he had well. He'd ended it with a really quiet—and he really did speak quietly—insult that had obviously been the tipping point. And in the end Kakuzu finally snapped.
During that day, he'd also found out that as far as tempers go, Kakuzu definitely picked the short straw.
But hey, nothing felt better than the smugness after seeing the unadulterated fury in those strange, green eyes upon discovered that he couldn't be killed like the others. It was a dangerous game, but Hidan lived for those. After all, what had he to lose?
"Everything," Kakuzu had told him when he decided to bring it up the same day when they were camped out under the stars (figuratively, because it had actually been cloudy as fuck). "You think you're blessed to have all the time in the world, but the day will come when you realize none of it is actually yours to begin with."
Hidan was just the right amount of pissed the hell off to start telling the man off for speaking in riddles—he hated riddles, for Jashin's sake; they made his head ache and he got nothing in return—but instead decided it was too much of a hassle to begin a one-man argument, for it was certainly likely the bastard would ignore him again. Also, this was the first time he'd ever held something closest to a normal conversation with Kakuzu—which made him feel oddly at ease—no matter how short it was, and for some weird reason he didn't want to spoil it.
~*o*~
And so comes present which marks the fortieth day of being honey-glued to this gold-fucking bastard's shoes (oh boy, when he'd found out how much the asshole covets money...), which meant a total of twenty-three bounty chases so far, and Hidan had definitely felt the rising need to congratulate himself for not creating some miracle and killing himself, or Kakuzu, or both. Well alright, he might have tried that second option a few times, but it always ended up the same way (and he couldn't have been more original about it, too, Hidan thought angrily, as he thought about how his head hit the ground, his body following suit two seconds after), which was starting to get annoying more than anything. He knew his way around well enough by now to know that other pairs were assigned real missions, ones that actually sounded interesting (infiltrations, breaking into underground vaults, stealing forbidden family scrolls and of that sort). Hell, he'd actually thought he'd be beginning to enjoy the fact that he joined their shitty group in the first place, as they seemed to offer up sacrifices on a silver platter.
Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last long when he quickly found out that he was stuck with the dirty work; or rather, Kakuzu was the one who took care of the dirty work, and Hidan, bless his shitty luck, just happened to get caught up in it. Bounty hunting was a daily occurrence, and it infuriated the Jashinist to no end that he'd have to forsake the cult's rules for a case full of dirty cash. Well, it seemed to please Kakuzu anyway, if one could call sitting down and meticulously counting every bill and stalking off being happy (or violently murdering the collector if they were but one short ). After all, a Kakuzu in a good mood meant a slightly less murderous Kakuzu, which means that his patience meter would have extended by a hair's breadth—a huge improvement and would make all the difference, honestly.
Because when Kakuzu was not snatching bounties off the road or punching Hidan's face into oblivion or salivating over his money hoard, he'd actually proved to be... tolerable. And while Hidan meant 'tolerable' up to a certain point, he was in for a surprise when around came some nights where they'd withstand each other's presence in an almost comfortable silence. Once, he'd even given a non-committal 'hmph' to once of Hidan's rants, which had definitely shocked the pants off the Jashinist and he didn't end up speaking for the rest of the night.
But Hidan hated it most when they were out hunting again, which was how most of their time was spent. Which was why he was beginning to crave for those nights more and more often, where they could just sit and enjoy the peace for once, and maybe it would be just enough so that Hidan could forget the fact that they were even on this shitty mission in the first place.
So now they found themselves weaving through a busy road—because fuck stealth, right? Why not just waltz straight into a cluster-fuck of normal citizens and fan-fucking-tastic they were drawing eyes already—and despite it being one of the more frequently used paths, it is evident that no guards were stationed. Hidan knew they were building a bigger road several miles south from here to improve the flow of trades, and therefore they would need all the hands they could get. Still, he might have preferred to maybe watch from the trees instead. Kakuzu said that this way they'd find their target easier, and no, these people don't know about Akatsuki and their cloaks mean nothing to them. The Jashinist isn't sure how much faith he should put into the bastard's words, but there really is little else to do.
Hidan had invested more of his attention into the counting of the most ridiculous hairstyles he could find rather than actually looking for their bounty, but that didn't mean Kakuzu couldn't search for them both. The guy practically had eyes all over his entire body (no, that's just fucked), so nothing would've escaped his sight, anyway. When they veered off to the left upon coming across a fork, the density of the crowd thinned considerably and there were only a few travellers walking the path as opposed to dozens.
The first few drops came with plenty of foreshadowing beforehand with the dreary sky and whatnot, but Hidan had been half-hoping they'd make it to a lodge or something before it really got there. The drizzle quickly transformed into a full-out downpour, and even Kakuzu seemed irked at the deluge due to the fact that the road was muddied and completely useless for any tracking.
"Well?" he snapped when the older man continued to frown (Jashin's pants, did this guy ever stop frowning, Hidan would've probably given himself an aneurysm if he'd kept it up for that long). "Are you coming or what?"
"To where?" Kakuzu said gruffly.
"What do you mean, 'where'? Some place with a roof, dumbass!"
"We are not leaving this path," Kakuzu said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Hidan's jaw nearly hit the ground. "Are you fucking kidding me? What do you hope to find in this shit weather? You won't get anywhere, it'll all be wasted effort. Let's just crash at the nearest town, eh?"
"I am not losing this bounty," Kakuzu snapped, making to turn, but froze when Hidan shot out a hand before thinking and grabbed a handful of the black Akatsuki garb.
"You keep claiming you're the smart one, then fucking act like it," Hidan ground out, pointedly ignoring the thunderous look in Kakuzu's eyes. It was a look that did not bode well for him, or anyone within their vicinity for that matter. Whatever, he couldn't care less about civilians, anyway. "Does this look like the perfect day to let your hunters chase after you? He's obviously hiding somewhere by now!"
"He can't have gotten far if he did," Kakuzu stated flatly. "Besides, the schedule explicitly stated he was to attend the rally between the black market exchangers for tonight. It is exactly two hours from sundown, the bounty will—"
"Fuck your bounties!" Hidan roared then, finally having enough. "It always money this, money that; I'm sick of slaving away for your greedy ass! The least you could do is indulge me once in a while, but no, Jashin forbid Hidan from touching your sacred bills! You must fucking loaded, and yet you can't bring yourself to spend ten fucking ryo for a shitty night at an inn. I want real missions, damn it! Not these disgusting, low-class errands that leader sends you out to do!"
He has definitely crossed a line; a blind man would've seen it. But the Jashinist was at his wit's end, too. There was only so much he can take when it came to mindlessly tagging along like an ignorant child while the 'adult' took care of business. He was surprised to discover that not only was he angry at Kakuzu's vile obsession with materialistic goods, he was also pretty pissed at how little Kakuzu regarded him as an equal. Weren't they all a part of the same, revolting circus group of misfits together? Yes, he knows his personality isn't the most noble, or the most desirable of traits looked for in a work partner, but for Jashin's sake they were supposed to be a team. And teams can't hope of working together when one person has no idea what the hell is going on. Every time Kakuzu retrieves their new task, there is little to no explanation, nor does he bother to explain just why the Akatsuki are financially in need.
Perhaps Hidan might have nursed a little lenience if he'd known the reason behind their mad chases for nasty, elusive bandits with pretty prices on their heads. But now? He finds he can't bring himself to care anymore. All he can think about now is this stupid fucking rain and how cold it is and how his feet are slowly sinking into the mud which is beginning to swell as the black clouds continue to roll in. He wants to be annoyed at just how much he is offended by Kakuzu's insistence for treating him like a child. Hell, he had never even asked, in hopes that one day the older man might finally take two seconds of his ridiculously long life to just relay to him what exactly it was they were doing and why.
It seems now was not the moment, either, as Hidan suddenly found his neck in a heavy grip, thick fingers squeezing with just enough control to let air pass through. It was merely a warning, to show that he was not one for empty threats, although Hidan knew that much by now. If looks could kill, the Jashinist would've been shredded ten times over. "You are a stupid brat," he hissed, green eyes seeming to glow in the fog of the rain. "Aside from Tailed Beasts, these 'errands' are one of the most crucial tasks needing to be completed out of all the other petty assignments Leader hands out, and they most certainly are real. They need to be executed without fail, and there is no room for mistakes. That is why they are given to me."
"Yeah, and I'm sure you've never messed up, being Mister Perfect and all," Hidan sneered, his voice sounding slightly off from the pressure on his windpipe. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed dangerously.
"I have spent decades living off the bounties I collected, Hidan. It's what I did for a living. No one knows the archives of the bingo book better than I in this organization. This is what's been assigned for me to do, and I will see that it is done. You don't have a choice in this matter."
"Oh yeah?" Hidan growled, eyes flashing at the challenge. "I don't fucking think so, old man. So guess what? I'm not moving a single inch from here, and don't even think about cutting me up into a sack," he added dangerously, fingers twitched for his scythe. "And besides, I've defied enough of Jashin's orders playing along with your whole 'live capture' bullshit. If you're not gonna kill 'em, count me out."
Kakuzu dropped his hand from Hidan's throat, scowling in obvious detestation. "You and your barbaric religion," he muttered. "Suit yourself. I've had enough dealing with your insanity for a lifetime. You are not getting in the way of my job again." With those words, he turned, and left.
Hidan stood in the middle of the road, watching as Kakuzu's back shrunk smaller and smaller into the horizon until he was nothing but a black dot in the thickening rain, and then he vanished completely. He snorted to himself, muttering about crazy old men and their crazy antics. He decided to sit this one out; the last time he claimed he was staying put and run off, he was found by a windswept Kakuzu who was beyond livid at his disappearance. He'd gotten an thirty minute lecture on that (well, it was mostly thirty minutes of fists flying, there was a lot less words involved), and how he would have given them away had he wandered into the wrong parts of the city. He didn't think about how he wouldn't have stumbled so blindly into supposedly one of the most heavily guarded areas of the town had the older man all but given him some information, but already Hidan learned that it was fruitless to expect anything of the sort from Kakuzu anymore.
Unfortunately this part of the road had no forest encompassing both sides of it, so he had nowhere to take shelter to. Already soaked to the core, the Jashinist plopped down on the side of the road and drummed his fingers impatiently, all the while watching in the direction where Kakuzu had disappeared in. Any minute now, and he'd be marching back, fuming and grumbling as he would always be.
But Hidan sat there for ten full minutes, and he saw nothing but the stretch of grey. Minutes slipped into a full-blown hour, and by then he was already thoroughly irritated. Something was not right; shouldn't the bastard be on his way back by now? He obviously couldn't have gone too far in this weather, and it wouldn't take a whole sixty minutes for someone of Kakuzu's caliber to realize that searching for the bounty in these conditions was more than ridiculous. But when the waiting was bordering on two and a half hours, Hidan knew.
Kakuzu, that cock-sucking bastard, had left him.
He should have seen it coming, really, given their relationship; but seriously. Without even a proper goodbye, and damn it—wasn't that what civilized men did? The bastard had shown a blatant dislike for Hidan's less than refined mannerisms, so wouldn't he have at least parted the normal way just to piss the Jashinist off? Because really, running away after a coward attempt at an insult was just plain cheesy. So much for immortal life, he thought testily, when evidently Kakuzu found a disgustingly obese, bald man in his fifties to be much more valuable than him.
But oh man, it did happen, and it had actually hurt more than Hidan would've allowed it to.
He cared little for the actual insult itself, because he'd heard more creative ones. However, he'd thought he was beginning to understand the man a little, even if every little thing he did went against Hidan's own beliefs. Maybe they could never be friends, or even acquaintances, but what did that matter in this organization? Ever since he was little he'd never found the appeal in working with others, as they only sought to lead you astray from what you wanted.
But Hidan found that by sacrificing just a little (and by little, he meant a huge portion of his own patience and inner peace), perhaps, just maybe, he and Kakuzu would've made an alright team. Considering his and Kakuzu's skill set, one did not have to look very far to see the potential there. And reluctant as he was to spend more time around the guy, damn him if he didn't want to try. Yeah, he'd have to learn, most likely from the very beginning of the basics and fundamental building blocks of what make a team work. But thinking about the havoc they could wreak together certainly made him excited enough to be up for the task.
Perhaps that's what the 'leader' saw in them in the first place, which would explain a lot. It was just a pity that he didn't see that for himself sooner, and now it was already too late. Had Kakuzu seen it? It was likely, but by now Hidan knew him enough to know that the bastard probably disregarded the thought, convinced he could do it on his own (and it was true—Kakuzu, that fucking asshole, really didn't look like he needed another person's assistance for anything; he was enough of a two-man team by himself already. And that was what pissed Hidan off even more).
And maybe, if he was really pushing it too far (more like shoving it off a cliff), maybe they could've been sort-of friends.
Yeah, he didn't have much of those in his rubbish of a childhood, nor was he treated like one even after he joined the Jashinist cult. Perhaps there were a few who approached him during those earlier days, but only because they were curious about the first succeeded subject who'd gone through the necessary rituals to achieve true immortality. He'd lived a good number of his late teen years in the underground cathedral that was the Jashinists' temple, but even with a good sum of cultists roaming about he'd spent much of his time there in solitude. Unable to die, he was the only one who could carry out Jashin's commandments without fail, so he spent almost every waking moment praying, and hoping that maybe someone took pity of his constant self-harming rituals and sought him out for conversation.
That didn't happen, either.
And now once again, he was alone. It wasn't as if Kakuzu was the best conservationist one could have, but at least he'd been there. And with even the money-grubbing bastard gone, he felt strangely emptier than ever.
Few people hurried past him, in a last minute scramble to avoid the deluge. They still managed to spare some curious glances at him, and he didn't blame them; he must've been quite a sight. Sitting alone in a flooded road with the mud seeping up his trousers, he barely felt the cold anymore. He mindlessly watched the people flash by, glowering heavily because he thought he'd gotten over this stupid fucking problem already, but no, it was still ever, ever present in the back of his mind, waiting for the right moment to fuck him up the ass again.
Fucking shit. He hated them for not understanding this absolute shite feeling of being alone. He hated their stupid fucking smiling faces, grins so wide despite the pouring rain it makes him feel sick to the gut. He wants to march up and cleave their heads in two, so that their smiles may never be whole again, but that would just make him feel worse. No; what made him feel worse—and Hidan could live for a thousand years and would still find it an enigma—was how something as petty and dumb as Kakuzu of all people turned away like that. He'd known this man for a month, for Jashin's sake. And during their short time together, when he wasn't ripping out Hidan's entrails, he'd always passive-aggressively ensured to make the Jashinist's life a living hell. Maybe that was just Hidan's biased mind speaking, but it had really been infuriating. It was a never-ending cycle of insult upon insult, blow after blow. So why the fuck was he thinking about this so much?
Perhaps it had something to do with those nights, those amiable, quiet nights. Or the way Kakuzu stared at him when during one of the rare moments he relented to a restaurant meal, Hidan would always pick off the tendons off each rib bone from their barbeque, before inhaling the real meat. It was a look of pure perplexity, and maybe even a hint of disgust but the Jashinist had always laughed it off. Or maybe it was the way Kakuzu had left him a coverlet during his first few days in the Akatsuki base, where they had yet to produce a room for him. He'd spent a couple nights in the gigantic statue room, and nothing had been provided to him except for a measly pillow. The coverlet was thin, sewn from cheap fabric but the bemusement Hidan had experienced when he received it was enough to mask the freezing temperature of the caves.
Or, it might not even be any of those, but the fact that no matter how much he claimed to hate the way Hidan blabbered and complained and preached and swore, Kakuzu had been there, and listened to it all. Sure, most of the stuff went unreplied to and sometimes there were beatings when the older man's patience wore thin, but never did he leave, nor walk out during the middle of one of his rants. Maybe it was due to the nature of their missions that Kakuzu didn't really have anywhere to escape to, seeing as they were stuck on a single road together for hours on end, but those were just details. To Hidan, just the knowledge of being heard by someone, even if they were one of the most greediest, nasty-tempered, maddening bastards in the history of this earth who held no interest nor concern about his life or wellbeing whatsoever, was a blessing in itself.
Maybe in a different world, one where everyone lived without the constrictions that was sentiment, maybe he would have cried. But the Hidan in this world had no tears to shed for anything or anyone, especially himself.
The rain had lessened slightly in its intensity, but it was still enough to scare people back indoors. He had nowhere to go now, and he silently wondered if he should try to find his way back to the base. He thought he'd have to return the ring at least, as it seemed to be pretty important to them. But the Jashinist found that he had no will to get up, nor spend energy in trying to fumble his way back in the dark when he had no idea how they ended up here in the first place. Kakuzu was the one in charge or directions, and fuck fuck just stop thinking about that fucking piece of shit—
He'd never been professionally trained in the arts of sensing, but he could definitely make out the sounds of footsteps when he heard them, sound of rain be damned. Especially in this mud, the soft squelch of shoes sinking into mud was undeniable. He tried peering off into the distance, but it was almost completely dark by now and he could barely see ten feet in front of him. He huffed, passing it off as some lone, unlucky traveller who got caught in the weather for this long.
All of a sudden, the rain stopped abruptly.
Hidan blinked multiple times, wondering what had just happened. Was he going crazy? No, it was still undoubtedly raining. So why did the heavens just decide to leave a nice dry patch conveniently around his position? He got his answer soon enough, and what he saw made his jaw drop nice and widely.
Looming before him, swathed in darkness and red clouds and undeniable annoyance, was Kakuzu. He was looking down at Hidan with an almost curiously blank expression, and in his left hand he held a large, black umbrella. It sheltered the Jashinist from the raindrops that pelted the vinyl noisily, although it was of little use by now. They were both drenched to the bone.
"Wh-wha—" Hidan spluttered, unable to process words let alone think straight. What was the moron doing here? "Why—huh?"
Kakuzu arched a single eyebrow. "Eloquent as always," he says with surprisingly no venom, as if he were simply stating facts.
"Where'dyou get that from?" the Jashinist said before he can stop himself. He ogled at the object in the other man's hand for emphasis.
"Store," was all Kakuzu gave as an answer, but sweet Jashin the implications behind that single word.
"You—" Hidan was having a hard time determining if this was reality. Maybe he'd fallen asleep and this was his own, twisted version of a nightmare. "You—you bought—?"
His partner was now looking at him as if he'd grown two heads. It didn't help clear his thoughts much. "I don't understand—" Hidan blurted instead, still groping uselessly for words. "Why are you back?"
"What are you talking about?" Kakuzu said, clearly impatient. "Of course I would come back. What on earth gave you the impression I wasn't?"
Something was clearly not right. The Jashinist shook his head violently, sending water spraying in all direction like a wet dog. Had the bastard hit his head on the umbrella somehow? "But—you said…" He wracked his brain for the exact words. "Uh, something about—"
Suddenly, Kakuzu sighed so hard that Hidan was actually concerned that he might collapse a lung. "You are the biggest baby I have ever encountered during my long years," he then said, looking down with exasperation. "Get up, I don't want to spend all night here. There is an inn not far ahead from the bounty station, so we'll head there."
Hidan slowly got to his feet, his brain a whirlwind of confusion and a myriad of questions. One thing was made clear in that moment however, and his eyes widened. "The bounty!" he exclaimed. "You would've lost him."
"Don't be ridiculous," Kakuzu grunted, and raised his right hand for the Jashinist to see. Enclosed snugly in his fist was the handle of a large, metal suitcase. "I found the fool lumbering about near the very inn we're staying in tonight. Not much for reflexes, that one. It was over in less than two minutes." His eyes abruptly narrowed then, as he took in the dishevelled sight of Hidan's appearance with a hypercritical gaze. "Unbelievable. Not even two months in you manage to ruin what little we could afford to give you. I am not letting you near that inn until you find the nearest stream and wash that mud off yourself. You should be ashamed; do you understand the sheer impact of deducting clothing costs from our limited budget—"
At that moment, Hidan was deaf to everything else. The constant hum of the downpour died down to a distant whisper, the thunder which was beginning to rumble in the distance all but vanishing, and the only thing he could hear was Kakuzu's chagrined tone as he snapped at Hidan to bathe the second he entered that inn and that he owed him for this and this and that. He didn't understand what this floating feeling was which almost threatened to suffocate him, but for now he was more than content. He wanted, no, needed this.
"Oh shut it, old man," Hidan interrupted with a groan when Kakuzu rattled on. "Are you coming or what? I'm fucking freezing and I'd like to unfreeze as soon as possible." He snatched the umbrella from the man's hand, and started walking—no, slipping towards the direction from whence Kakuzu came. Said person caught up with him easily, and to his shock, wrenched the umbrella back from his grip. "The fuck do you think you're doing?" he cried, surprised more than anything to say much else.
"Just go," Kakuzu said, but Hidan was not done.
"Fucking shit! And here I am trying to be a nice human being and you gotta go and ruin it like that. Do you see why I don't try?"
"How the hell was that supposed to make things better," Kakuzu growled, pointedly staring straight ahead.
"I was trying to hold it for you!" the Jashinist almost shouted, frustration mounting high at an exponential rate. "Since your slow ass looked so weighed down with that shitty suitcase 'n all—"
"Nonsense. It would be impractical for you to hold it, as you are lacking in height to cover the both of us properly."
"I—what the fuck? Did you just fucking call me impractical you shitty cocksucker? Have some common sense, I'm obviously still growing—"
"For fuck's sake, stop flailing, you brat—"
"Give me the fucking umbrella!"
Ten minutes later, after a heated shouting match that almost left the poor umbrella in pieces, Hidan and Kakuzu, unable to reach a conclusion, found themselves holding the squeaking metal rod each with a single hand together. He could still feel the older man's ire radiating off his figure like volcanic heat, but for the first time in their partnership, they were treading the path side by side with no insult from either party during the whole way. In a way, it was comical. Childish, even. But such things were going to be inevitable, it seemed.
Yes, Hidan thought as they trudged through the overflowing mud, shielded from the rain under the single, flimsy roof. He could get used to this. They would whine and groan and kick and shout, and would probably never stop trying to figure out new ways to torment one another, making their lives miserable for a long time to come, but Jashin. This is what he definitely wanted.
Once again, kudos goes straight to raimagnolia for such an adorable prompt. I sure hope it turned out alright.
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