Disclaimer: 'G.I. Joe' belongs to Hasbro and 'Viva La Vida' belongs to Coldplay respectfully. No profit is being made out of this work.
Author's Note: I always thought 'Viva La Vida' was fitting for Cobra Commander. So I felt like writing this song. Feedback's always appreciated.
…
Viva La Cobra
(Performed by Cobra Commander)
...
I used to rule the world.
Tanks would roll when I gave the word.
Now every morning I scream and moan
In my empty Terror Drome.
I used to terrify,
Induce fear in the innocent's eyes.
Weeping children rushed to cling
To their families and friends, the usual thing.
One minute they turned to flee,
Next the Joes surrounded me!
And then in spite of all my best laid plans
You minions cowered away in fear and ran!
You felt my fury, I kept repeating
Wanting victory, you went retreating!
Made Serpentor 'cuz you despised me,
Oh, how much you antagonized me!
For some reason I must exclaim
That Dr. Mindbender was to blame!
His logic was absurd,
But that was when I ruled the world.
There was the venomous Pythona,
Ran through our doors from Cobra-La.
Next thing you know there were mutant spores
And soon I was slithering on the floor.
Golobulus made escape
Leaving me as a useless snake,
Just a pet until I was transformed
Back to my old self, back to the norm.
You felt my fury, I kept repeating
Wanting victory, you went retreating!
I had a million-gazillion Vipers,
I thought I'd win in an overnighter.
For your treasons I must proclaim
You envied me because of my fame.
Never an honest bunch,
I should have had you all for lunch!
COOOBRAAA!
COOOBRAAA!
COOOBRAAA!
COOOBRAAA!
You felt my fury, I kept repeating
Wanting victory, you went retreating!
You lacked the passion for domination
You drove yourselves into mass starvation.
For no reason I must complain
You imbeciles put my life to shame!
I would have much preferred
If I had solely ruled the world…
"They just don't make terrorists like they used to."