Giriko doesn't plan to ask. He's not planning anything, honestly. He is expecting to sit around on the couch all day, doing as little as he can get away with, and when Justin comes over to curl up against him it's nothing but a pleasant surprise. The blond is usually out of the house during the week or catching up on work on the weekend, so having him around and unproductive is unusual, although Giriko's not complaining by any means. Justin leans in and his shoulder digs hard into Giriko's arm, but the chainsaw shifts his weight and slides his arm free so he can pull Justin around sideways instead, and then they fit together comfortably, with the worst of Justin's sharp edges facing out instead of into Giriko's side.
Their breathing patterns together, though Giriko couldn't say who is slowing or speeding and suspects it's unconscious in any case. All he can tell is that after a few minutes they're breathing in sync, and Justin's head is tipped in against his shoulder until he thinks the priest might be about to fall asleep, and the weight of his arm is resting across Justin's chest, and he doesn't want either of them to ever move.
It's a strangely clear moment, as his eyes unfocus on the colorful action of the television and his thoughts spill out into the future instead of the present. He can see this recurring over weeks and months and years, life continuing on pleasant and easy and uncomplicated with Justin fitting against him, and when he blinks he can see Justin-as-he-will-be behind his eyelids, a little older, maybe a little broader but still thin, still with those same blue eyes and teasing smile and arrogant tilt of his chin. His mind fits himself into the mental picture as if it's not complete without him, and he opens his mouth to blurt, "I want to marry you," before he realizes what he's going to say.
The peace of the moment shatters instantly, as if he took a hammer to glass. Justin turns to face him so fast that he nearly falls as Giriko claps a hand over his mouth in too-late response, and they speak at once, Giriko gasping "Fuck," as Justin says, "What?"
They stare at each other for a minute - Giriko can feel his eyes wide and horrified over his fingers and Justin looks as shocked as the chainsaw has ever seen him - and then Justin licks his lips and swallows and repeats, "What did you just say."
"Uh." Giriko says intelligibly.
"Because I would swear you just said you want to marry me."
"Uh." Giriko lifts his hand carefully. His mouth seems unlikely to blurt forth anything else unexpected, so he carefully says, "I think I heard that too."
"Slip of the tongue?" Justin asks. His expression is unlike anything Giriko has ever seen - his eyes are still shocked but his eyebrows are starting to draw together in what looks like anger and his mouth is trembling with the threat of what looks like tears.
"Yeah," Giriko says. "Uh. I. Didn't mean to say that out loud."
"Does your mouth frequently run away with you?"
"Fuck." Giriko frowns. "No. Not usually. Uh."
"That's not a good sign." Justin's smiling but it's not touching his eyes; they're still confused and brittle with some combination of emotions too tangled for Giriko to separate. "If you're going to start just blurting things you don't mean we'll need to adjust accordingly."
"I didn't not mean it," Giriko growls. "Don't leap to conclusions, Justin, fuck."
Justin blinks and now he just looks confused. It's better than unreadable, at least. "O - kay?" There's a breath of silence and then he goes on. "Did - you mean it?"
Giriko stares at Justin's face for a moment. The priest isn't so much as blinking, just watching the older man like he has no intention of moving until he gets an answer, and in the silence tension of the moment Giriko can feel the echo of that brief clarity of a moment before.
"I did," he says.
Justin opens his mouth and Giriko brings a hand up to cover the blond's lips. "Quiet. Don't talk or I'll lose it." His gaze is unfocused on Justin's face, skimming over his eyes and hair and skin, and he can feel his mental state shaky but steadying as the silence filters into his thoughts.
"I do want to." The words come slow and careful over his mouth, like his thoughts are coming straight to his tongue. They might be; he's not sure he'd speak if he really thought through what he's saying. "Marry you. Or not, I mean, it doesn't have to marriage or anything. But I want to be with you. I want to stay with you. For the rest of my life. Your life. Our life."
Shit. He's babbling. He takes a breath, keeps his hand where it is even though Justin is making no effort at all to speak anymore.
"I want us to be us. Uh. Fuck I don't even know what I'm saying." He drops his hand. Justin's mouth is open and there is nothing but pure shock on his features, now. "Sorry. I didn't - mean to throw that at you like that."
Justin stays still for a moment. Then he closes his mouth, slowly enough that the deliberation in the action is evident, and carefully swallows, still without blinking. Giriko can almost see the thoughts behind his eyes, but he just lets the quiet fill up until the blond speaks.
"I wasn't expecting it like that," he finally says.
Giriko takes a minute to process the words - and their total lack of emotional content - before he growls and shoves at Justin's shoulder to push the blond away. "Is that all you have to say?" he hisses, anger burning under his veins until he almost doesn't see the way Justin's face collapses into a grin as the blond raises an arm in self-defense. "You weren't expecting it?"
"I wasn't!" Justin protests, but when Giriko shoves hard the blond's fingers close around the chainsaw's wrist so he can catch himself on the couch before falling, and with the movement of his arm Giriko can see the delighted smile all across his face and sparkling up into his eyes. His free hand comes out to close around Giriko's shirt and the older man's movements stall out with one hand in Justin's hold and one braced against the blond's shoulders mid-push.
"I want it too." Justin speaks quickly, throwing up the words like a defense against the chainsaw's aggression. "Us. If you want to get married I want that too. Whatever you want." He's still smiling, so wide that he's having some trouble speaking clearly and every word teeters on the brink of a laugh. "I want to be with you."
"Oh." Giriko can feel his face going hot at Justin's words in the most delayed reaction he has ever had. "Oh. Well." He clears his throat and shifts his hand on the blond's shoulder to a hold instead of a shove. "Good."
"Yeah." Justin is laughing properly now, doesn't stop even when Giriko growls in embarrased complaint and pulls the blond in against his chest. His arms come around Giriko's neck and the stuttered breath between his laughter blows warm against the chainsaw's skin, and with Justin's face down so he can't see him Giriko can let himself smile too.