My first SnK/Attack on Titan story. One shot and is a LevixOCxErwin.
Disclaimer: I do not own SnK/Attack on Titan.
"Gaaahhhh!"
Levi turned just in time to see it. Auburn curls in twinned with titan fingers. Her hair had come undone...that idiot.
His eyes widened slightly, though the rest of his face remained stoic as ever. No, she would not die. He had already sacrificed 3 of his subordinates to Erwin's cause. But not her.
He pulled the trigger on his 3dmg, turning his course toward her and that disgusting titan holding her above its mouth. No. Not today. Some day, he knew it would happen. But not like this.
She flailed about, hitting uselessly, but bravely, against the brutes fingers, crying out in pain. It hurt to have her hair pulled, he was sure. The titan wasn't that big, but that is what made it so deadly. It had picked her up off her horse, which didn't even stay for the show.
"You son of a bitch! You let me go! Gahh!" She kicked its nose, hoping that it would have some affect on it. None.
Levi darted behind it, and like usual, he swung his blades effortlessly, hacking off the fingers in her hair. She screamed, sure she was going to fall into the titan's mouth, but she slide off the side of its face, bouncing off its shoulder, and hitting the ground with a loud thud and a crack. No, not a bone. Another body. She looked up to see the fingers and surprisingly chunks of her hair falling to the ground. She heard a gurgling. She looked down to see a comrade underneath her, choking on his own blood.
"Agnes!" She cried out. Her twin brother. She looked over his body. His legs were missing. A hysterical scream caught in her throat as she looked up at him. And she had landed on his chest, crushing his ribs into his lungs. She killed her brother. "Agnes, no! Oh gods, I am sorry! I am sorry!" She rolled him on his side, to push the blood pooling in his mouth cavity out.
A crashing noise caught her attention. She looked to see the titan that had tried to eat her fall to the ground, ruined meat, the captain standing on its back, riding down with it.
"Captain! Help me!" She cried desperately. She couldn't leave Agnes to die. Her eyes were frantic.
She wasn't strong, she knew. She wasn't even a good soldier. Some one was always saving her. Agnes, captain Levi, and when she was alive, Petra. When she had joined the Scouting Corps to be with her brother, she had become friends with the woman and Hange. The men in the squad found her a nuisance. Including the captain, but oddly enough, he was there. He was always there. But when Petra was killing by the Female Titan, she had a hole left in her heart and only Hange took time to understand. She knew it hurt Levi too. He knew that Petra loved him, but never loved her back due to the fact that they could be killed at any time and having a significant other or spouse could distract them. That is what Petra had told her.
"Ingrid." She heard a croak.
She looked down with tears pouring out of her eyes. "Agnes, no. Please, I am sorry." She pathetically whimpered at him.
"Don't be an idiot. I was gonna die any way, you just sped up the process." He chuckled half heartedly. "Ingie, do me a favor, don't die in a titan's mouth, ok? And quit being such a baby. I mean, after all, we graduated with a bunch of knuckle headed titans. When you see Reiner, before you kill him, tell him I said that, 'ight?" He began to cough violently, spitting out ghastly amounts of blood. "And get your hair fixed, you look stupid." He went limp under her hands and she became hysterical.
"No! No! Agnes, you bastard, don't you dare! We promised Avery that we would come back alive when we joined the Survey Corps! You promised!" Fluids rushed from her face as she looked up to the sky, screaming. Agnes...not Agnes, the strong one. The hard headed, yet gentle warrior. Her brother that stayed by her side and the one who sacrificed living with the rest of their brothers inside of the wall to be part of something that he believed bigger than himself. "Why?!"
"Shut up, you will attract more titans here with your obnoxious screaming. Clean up your face, you have snot every where." Levi tossed a cloth at the girl at his feet, who was clutching her brother's cloak, desperate to bring him back.
She ignored the cloth that fell on her hands, sobs choking her. "N-not him. H-h-he w-asn't supposed to be the one that died!" She sobbed into the green cloak attached to the dead body. "I was! I am the weak one! I am the idiot! But not him...why!" She suddenly stood, grabbing Levi's shirt, shaking him. Surprisingly, he let her. She continued. "Why?! Why didn't you just let me die! You let every one else die! Just let it happen already! Why didn't you save him?!"
His face remained in that unmoving mask that angered her so. Every time some one fell, her heart would shatter, but him...he never even said a word. He grabbed her hands and pushed her off, back handing her in the same movement. She was shocked, but the sting brought her back to the situation. Agnes was dead, but she was alive and on the ground in titan territory, screaming as her squad looked on in shock and horror. She could attract more and they too would perish. Eren wasn't there to protect them. They had to get to safety.
"If you are done, get your shit together and let's go." He walked past her, her eyes wide and puffy from the hot tears. "And Ingrid..." He paused to look back for only a second. "Grab his insignia patch to take back to your family, when ever you see them again."
Her eyes fluttered, long lashes damp and heavy. She had to move. It was time to leave Agnes. This is where he would rest. The titans or birds would most likely eat him. But he was right, he would have died no matter if she had fell on him or not.
Earlier that day...
"You need to pull it back tighter or cut it." Agnes stood in front of her, tall and demanding.
She scowled and pursed her lips. "I don't see why it is a big deal. The other girls wear it in a pony tail."
He scoffed. "And the other girls don't have crazy curls to their ass. Here, let me help." He sighed in defeat. Ingrid would never cut her hair, he knew. And it was because of the commander's comment he was sure.
Ingrid had an infatuation with the commander. Their oldest brother, Avery, had attended the same school where Erwin's father had teached and when he was killed by the military police, their mother had rushed to his mother's side to help. She grew up around them. And she had fallen for the blond.
And that pissed off the other brothers. But not Agnes. No, he knew that the blond would never reciprocate his sister's feelings. But it had changed one day, after they joined the Survey Corps, when the commander made a comment that he had never seen curls that long and not be knarled into knots. In fact, her hair was always the first thing people noticed. It was long, with more of a wave than curl, but men didn't know the difference between waves and curls. It didn't matter to them. But it was a dark auburn color and had a beautiful shine.
If he hadn't had said anything to her...
He pulled the hair into a loose tail, then made a delicate chignon, her hair tucked into a beautiful, yet tactical hairstyle. He had watched their mother do it a thousand times, to be honest.
She reached back and with delicate, but calloused fingers, she touched the strands and smiled gently. "You goof...thank you." Her smile disappeared. "I miss him, you know. Reiner...he was a good friend, despite everything."
Agnes tensed, his darker, straight hair falling over his eyes. Reiner and Berthold. The bastards...or rather...he didn't know any more.
"I know you miss them, too." She sighed. "I think it is natural to."
He looked away, focusing his glare on the floor boards of the empty house they acquired for the time being. They had to leave the walls today, to see if they could get supplies. They couldn't steal from the people who were already starving and killing something would attract attention and also take from the people. It was a dumb and irrational idea, according to Agnes, but he also knew what was right. He would rather die than make others starve for his sake.
"Don't be stupid. I will kill them." He muttered. "Reiner liked Krista or Historia...doesn't matter, but he liked you too, ya know?" He looked at the wall. "I almost killed him for saying it, but then again...it doesn't matter any more."
"Yeah." She closed her eyes.
Present.
Her hair had come undone when she was riding towards Anges, who had been knocked out of formation. They didn't even go that far, but it was enough. The titan was puny. She should have been able to deal with it.
She let out a shaky sigh, moving her body into the back of the tub. He was the only one...to die.
They had found another home, a fancier one, with a full bathroom and tubs. Yes, two of them, with a removable screen between them, which made it convenient for 2 people to take a bath at a time. The captain was on the other side of the screen. Usually, it was Agnes or another one of the female scout members, but the captain had over heard Jean or Connie making a joke about taking Agnes's place and took it upon himself to make sure there were no 'accidents'. She didn't care any more. No one could see her any way.
"You're ruining my peaceful bath." The monotone voice came from the other side of the screen.
Her lips thinned out when she remembered the red cheek he gave her. Yes, indeed.
When they came back, she let him help her cut the rest of her hair, to even it out. It made it to her shoulders in an even cut. He was the only one anal enough to make it that even.
"I am sorry, captain." She brought her knees to her chest.
"The commander sends his regards about Agnes. He put up a good fight. He was a good soldier." Levi put his arms up on the edge and reclined back. It was nice to get the filth off.
"The commander doesn't care about my family. He never did."
Levi opened one eye and looked at the silhouette of the girl on the other side of the screen. He would never admit he peaked when she came in. It was the rule he made after all, to respect each other's boundaries. But he broke his own rule and looked. She was the one he loved after all. He would never say it.
Her skin was normally a beautiful peach shade, littered with freckles, and a couple scars from training. Now what was soft was now calloused, peach turned to a tan, and bright, green eyes turned dull and tired. But for some reason, that made her more beautiful to him. He felt the anger from having to cut her hair to save her life. That was one of his favorite things. The way she sang some times at night to comfort her comrades.
But he would never say it. Never.
"Why do you say that? Aren't you friends or whatever?"
"I thought so, until today. We are disposable. I know that now." She whispered the last part. She didn't want to believe it. She loved the man after all. Her whole life, she had loved him.
He would never love her back, she knew that.
Levi scoffed and looked at his own body. It was true, but it was hard not to justify it. The bigger picture was more important. But the lives that are lost for it...some times, he hated the man too.
"Just shup up, will ya?" He sighed. "You know, it is plain as day that you love him." It was true, every one knew it.
She scoffed. "What does it matter? He will never love me back, he won't even fondly remember me when I am gone." Tears poured down her cheeks. Just like Agnes. He'll send his regards to Avery and the others and that will be the end of it.
"Not the way you want him to, no. More like a sister, I think."
"Fuck you."
He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "I don't care either way."
"Captain, you are the biggest, shittest liar I have ever met. There is a special place in hell for you." She meant it as a joke, but her voice was too hoarse and snippy.
"You don't think I know that?"
"You love me. Every one knows it. That is why Agnes is dead. You didn't even flinch...you let him die." Her voice on the other side of the screen accused him and he didn't deny it. He let Agnes die, true, but yet, he rushed to her aid.
"You are an idiot."
"Jerk."
He closed his eyes and sighed. "Don't ever say it out loud."
She pushed the screen open, revealing her face and wet arm. He frowned. "You know the rules." Bullshit, you broke them too.
"Yeah, and I am breaking it. If you can't say it, just show it."
His eyes hardened. That wasn't safe either. "What do you mean?" She wouldn't buy it. She knew he wasn't an idiot.
She took a moment and closed her eyes. "My brother is dead. The man I love will never love me back and my older brother thinks I am the biggest failure. If this is how it is going to be, then why not be miserable with some one else?"
"You mean use me."
"You would be using me too."
True, but at the same time no, it wasn't. He clenched his jaw and turned his face the other way. "Shut the fucking screen."
They all sat in silence. Armin sat next to her, a grim Sasha on the other side. Jean was arguing with Levi; they never agreed. The orders came in and soon, they were going to try to get Erin and Historia back. And a message for her. A personal one from the commander himself.
She crushed her eyes closed. Of course he would say that. It was more of a letter.
She hadn't really cried like she needed to since they came back and her reserve was starting to fall apart. The past 3 days had been hard on Ingrid. Every one stared at her in pity and Levi had been avoiding her. Hange had brought her a letter and a small package from the commander and it had taken every thing in her body to not cry. She didn't need to be weaker than she already was.
I am personally sending my regards to you. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. He was a good man. I will take the responsibility of telling your brothers. I need to speak with you. Please, be safe.
The next thing she knew she was holding a small ring in her hand. If she had opened it in front of the others, they would think it a romantic gesture, but she knew what it was. Her mother's.
She refused to wear it on her hand. It would be worn on a chain, close to her heart. He had given it to her because of the amount of robberies that had been accruing inside the walls. Every thing was falling apart.
"Ragard."
The sound of her last name made her come back to the present, realizing that everyone was staring at her. She looked around to see Levi standing at the head of the table.
"Sir?" She responded quickly, embarrassed to have some many eyes on her.
"I said get your ass up, we are going on patrol." He turned and walked toward the door.
"Yes, sir." She quickly stood up and followed him, ignoring the hushed murmurs behind her.
The night air was hot. They didn't even bother with soup tonight. Just bread. But regardless, the house began to swelter with the heat. It wasn't musky out here though and the fresh air was nice.
She refused to wear the long skirts and jackets the other female soldiers took up. She wore a dress, but it was shorter and she was able to wear thin pants underneath that tucked into boots. It was more practical that way and Agnes said that then she would be ready for anything. The only thing she regretted is that the dress's sleeves went 3/4 down her arm and kept the heat on her skin.
She followed Levi into the woods, suddenly spooked by the idea of running into a bear or worse...the central military police. She shook her head and kept pushing forward, her hands tight on her swords. She had never really used them. Once, but she only cut the titan as part of a distraction.
"We stop here."
She frowned and kept her distance. They were far enough from the house, but no one would hear them unless they shouted. "I exist now?"
"You should be glad I didn't give you a shiner for what you said to me. It was irresponsible." He turned towards her and his face hardened.
"To be human?"
His lip raised slightly and he shook his head, closing his eyes. "To ask me to do that to you. If you survive this war, no man would want you because you would be ruined. Also, the commander and I have the same view on relationships. It won't happen."
She slouched slightly and looked away in embarrassment. It was whorish, what she did. But, she wasn't the first woman to offer that to Levi. And if what she had heard was correct, the was the only time he had declined. "I'm sorry. I will stay out of your way."
He sighed. "What a pain." He looked at the trees. "The commander has ordered you to return to your family. You will not be continuing on this mission with us."
She gasped and looked at him in shock. Go home? Why? She refused! "No! I can do this! Give me another chance! I-"
"This is not my decision." He cut her off. "You will leave tomorrow morning. You are lucky and should be grateful. Connie no longer has a family to return to and Mikasa still doesn't have Eren back."
"That's not the point..." She began to tremble. "This isn't fair, I haven't been able to prove myself!"
"And you won't get the chance. Now act like a soldier and accept the fact that you are wanted back at home." He snapped.
She shook her head and hugged herself. Forget it. She began to walk off. "I would rather die."
She was suddenly up against the tree, pinned by Levi's close body and the hand next to her head. She closed her eyes and prepared for the hit. She was sure that he was going to punish her for her insolence.
"I don't want to hear you say that. I have risked my ass and men on saving you. But I have no say on whether or not you stay." He told was cold, scolding. "How dare you want to die. How dare you wanting to throw it away! Do you know what you would do?"
"No! What? What would I do? Break Erwin's heart? Make my brother proud? End the pain? What would happen?" She yelled back, defiance filling her heart. How dare he! He knew nothing!
"It's not Erwin's heart you would be breaking."
Her eyes widened at the comment. Not...Erwin's? That's right. Levi was in love with her. The unspoken fact she brought up during the bath 3 days prior. But he had rejected her. Her, the one he wanted. It made no sense. "What do you want from me, captain? If I live to see the end of the war, who do you think I will run to? The commander? He will be too busy keeping face for the public and his new duties. My brother's want to marry me off to some asshole who thinks he is the king himself. No, if I survived, I would follow you."
He hung his head, hands turning into fists. "No, I don't want that."
"You don't want me. You love me, but you don't want me." She said, her eyes filling with tears. "That is worse than what the commander rejecting me. Is it because of him?"
"No."
"Then what?" She pushed on Levi's chest.
He accepted the thrust and stepped back. He knew he was being unfair. It was cruel, really. But what choice did he have? "I want you, every day, every hour, every minute. I need you. But I can't." His face twisted, one of the only times had shown an emotion other than hate. "And I am not some one you want. I am a criminal. I kill people, I destroy things. I could never give you what you deserve."
Her eyes widened. The life I deserve? "What do I deserve, captain?"
"Levi."
"L...Levi..."
He crossed his arms, his face returning to the stoic way he always had it in. "That shit all you women want. A husband, a nice home, fancy clothes, children. That stupid, pathetic stuff."
She clenched her fists and glared at him. "For some one who loves me, you know nothing about me."
He looked at her and shrugged. "I have never told you that I love you."
"You've never denied it either." She whispered. She wanted to go back to the house. She wanted to stay. She didn't want...to be alone any more. "I wouldn't make a good wife, I have ruined every fancy dress my mother has bought me, I don't like cleaning large amounts of floors, and...the doctor told me I can't have children."
His eyes snapped to her. "The doctor?"
She looked away, regretting saying it. "He told me that my body can't produce children. I will never get pregnant."
He felt pity, for a moment. That was sad, since most women wanted children. "I see."
"I don't care. Babies are to much of a hassle, ya know. My oldest brother has 3 and he isn't the only one of my brother's who has children. I am fine with just being an aunt. See, you know nothing."
He looked away from her. "We still can't."
She looked at her feet. "This is the last time you might see me. I am gonna go home and get married off, probably beaten for not having children, and have to deal with Erwin's pitiful glances at me. He thinks I am weak, he thinks I am untouchable any way. What's the point? If you really didn't want me, then why did you bring me out here? You are no fear of telling orders in front of the others. You lied again."
She was right. He wouldn't deny it.
"Please...Levi."
He sighed. What was so bad about it any way? She would be gone, useless to another man, and when was he one to pass up getting laid? But, her future was bleak either way.
He returned to slumped form against the tree. She looked up at him and he almost lost his reserve. Her eyes were beautiful and even though most of it was gone, her hair was a sight for sore eyes. The moon only made it more beautiful.
Mine. You'll never be his. He crushed his lips to hers, making her gasp at first. She recovered slowly, her arms wrapping under his arms, making her hands able to rest on his shoulders.
He pulled away from her. "I won't do it, that is all I can give you." He went to pull back, but her grip was stronger than he expected. "We need to go."
"Just hold me. That is all I want." She laid her head on his chest. He was smaller than most men, but she was smaller. It was almost funny.
He wrapped his arms around her. Damn it, I love you. I won't tell you. But I do. "I'm sorry."
"So am I."
The morning came to quickly. The other's had been informed that she was leaving last night after the pair had returned from the woods. They could have been out longer, since the were on 'patrol', but Levi didn't want to torture himself any more. The had stood there, under the tree, embracing, exchanging occasional kisses. He couldn't remember how many times he kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her lips.
He couldn't stop. But he had to. But, when the other's fell asleep, she just called right into his bed and they kissed more. He woke her before dawn so the other's would not find them, but he really didn't care. It didn't matter any more.
Two men had arrived and their resemblance to each other was remarkable. What was even more remarkable, was how much they looked like Agnes, only older. Their faces were stern and they were large in stature. It was her brother's. The two oldest ones, he assumed. He remembered Agnes saying there was 10 children in all. Avery Ragard, being the oldest. Their mother must have been ancient when she had Ingrid and Agnes, because Avery was a middle aged man.
"Ingrid."
She nodded in acknowledgement. "Avery. Sergei."
The other brother nodded, but his expression softened at the sight of his sister. They remained on their horses, a third horse was next to Sergei. Avery spoke. "Some one has asked for your hand. Some one more important than Lord Bigart's son. You are to wed when you come home."
Levi tensed. She was really going to be gone. He would lose her forever. By the way it looked, she felt the same way. "M-married to some one else?"
"It is soon, but Ingrid, I think you will be much happier with this match. We need to get moving, if we are to make it back before nightfall." Sergei looked at the sun, which is making its way over the trees. "Say your good byes."
She turned and instantly Hange had thrown her arms around her. She hugged back.
"You are going to be a beautiful bride, Ingrid! Take care, you lucky girl." Hange patted her cheek.
Armin, Sasha, and Jean offered hugs, while she shook hands and nodded at the others. She didn't want to say good bye.
But Levi stared on. He kept his eyes on her, disbelief on his face. "You are marrying off your sister?" He asked looking at the two brothers.
Sergei looked at Avery, who straightened his back, puffing out his chest. "You wouldn't understand the way the higher classes work. It is necessary to our survival."
Ingrid looked away, avoiding the glances of pity her way. One stare though, made her wish that her brother's had their horses stolen. She looked at Levi, keeping her tears back. She would not cry.
He was the last one of course and she knew that hugging him was not a good idea. But she did it any way.
She didn't want to seem to desperate to hold on to him. He wouldn't return it, she knew. No one could know what had happened last night, but she couldn't leave him like this. This was a final good bye.
"Captain, thank you, for every thing." She said out loud. In his ear she whispered, "I'm sorry. If you survive Erwin's war...find me. Please, find me." She let go abruptly and mounted the horse her brothers had brought her. She nodded to her squad one last time, sending a sad glance at Levi.
Good bye...I love you.
She traveled quietly and gave short answers to Sergei when he asked her questions about her squad or how life on the run was. They had known that Levi was a wanted man, but their loyalty to Erwin was stronger than their desire to collect bounty money. Levi would be unharmed.
Levi...
How could she had left like that? He would have made her go any way. It was safer and she would never again have to worry when her time to die was going to come or what companion she would watch die on a mission that was sorely miscalculated.
The nightmare for her, would be over. But another one was going to begin.
Her home looked the same, her bedroom untouched. Her family greeted her and even with her heavy heart, she was happy to see them. Her nieces and nephews crowded her, asking her about titans and how many she had killed. Her other brothers teased her for cutting her hair and becoming calloused. A lady has no need for callouses.
She had come from a privileged home, but that did not mean she like having servants and attending parties and wearing fancy clothes. All she wanted was a place to sleep and food in her belly. The money never mattered to her.
"Go clean up, your fiancé will be here soon." Avery spoke out into the children's chatter and everyone went silent. His daughter, Emilia, grabbed Ingrid's hand and tugged slightly. She was only 4 years old, but she was very smart.
"Auntie, will you wear the crown I made you? It will make you happy."
"What makes you think I am unhappy Emilia?" Ingrid asked softly, grasping the young girl's hand. What kind of future did these children have?
"Because you are marrying a stranger." Emilia said bluntly. Ingrid saw Avery open his mouth.
She smiled down at Emilia. "I am happy. This will make our life better. When you are older you will understand. I promise, this is a good thing." Liar. She saw Avery's mouth close. Emilia sighed and nodded. "Where is this crown Emilia?"
Avery spoke up, impatient. "In your room, the wedding will be in the morning. Your fiancé wanted to see you before than, despite tradition."
To hell with traditions. Ingrid nodded and turned away from the children. Who would want to see their bride before the wedding? It was odd...
Her room was a tad stuffy and she was happy to open a window to let in the air. She saw the carriage down below. He was already here? She rushed over to the dress her brother had laid out for her on her bed and changed quickly. She ran to the mirror to see if her hair was decent and if her face looked clean. Yes, that will do. She sat down on the chair in front of her vanity. Hange, Jean, Mikasa, Armin...everyone...I am so sorry. Her lips trembled. She pressed her finger tips into them to stop them from moving. What she had done with those lips was innocent enough, wasn't it? Who cared. Levi was still out there.
Levi.
Agnes.
None of the brothers had said anything about Agnes. Did they even care? Of course not. He didn't matter to any one but her. And Levi. Her captain. Would he find her? Would he make it out a live? What was going to happen?
Some thing caught her eye. She looked up and saw flowers. More correctly, it was a crown, made of flowers. Emilia had given her an actual hand made crown. She smiled sadly. It was a bittersweet moment.
"You cut your hair."
She whipped around and her eyes widened. What was he doing here? "Commander?"
He stood in the door way, his body blocking most of it. The right arm of his jacket hung loose by his side. That's right. He closed the door and took a seat on the chair by the window. "Please, Erwin. You are not a soldier any more."
She looked away and closed her eyes. "Yes, I understand." She placed her hands in her lap and sighed. "Come to congratulate me or something or give me the official discharge papers?"
"Levi said you were upset about leaving. Your trip was safe, I presume?" He slipped off his jacket, leaving him in his white shirt. He was getting casual? He usually kept it professional around her.
"Yes." She answered slowly. "I don't mean to be rude, but I have to meet my fiancé. I have to meet him by the stairs." She stood up and smoothed out her dress. She didn't want to leave the room...
"Ah, yes. Well, please, you should sit, this will be quick." He had a sober look on his face. "First, did you get my message?"
She nodded hesitantly. She didn't want to sit. She would go crazy from being still. "Yes, sir. My mother's ring?"
"Ingrid, you don't have to keep up the formalities any more." He said gently. "I am just a man."
"No, you're not. I may no longer be in the Survey Corps, but in my heart you will always be my commander." She said firmly. She believed that, because he could no longer just be Erwin. No, he sacrificed to many people to just be a man. He was a titan.
"Ah, I am sorry to hear that." He crossed his legs. "You know why I sent you that?" He nodded to the chain with her mother's ring on it that hang loosely from her neck.
Her brows furrowed and her fingers found the gold circle. What? "To keep it from bandits. Commander, I really must be g-"
"Remain seated, I am not finished." He said calmly, but his eyes commanded her. She tensed and swallowed. What was going on?
"Yes, sir." She sat down slowly, never taking her nervous eyes off of him. "Please, go on."
"You will not be meeting your fiancé by the stairs. This is not being treated traditionally. You can relax." He smiled gently. It faded into the sober expression again. "Ingrid, you must know that I am deeply sorry for the loss of your brother. Going outside the walls for supplies was risky, but we cannot steal from the mouths of those whom we protect. He died honorably."
She clasped her fingers around the ring more tightly. She looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "Yes, he did."
"I guess I should get to the reason I am here." He stood and walked toward her, his face deprived of the emotion he might be feeling. She jumped slightly when he kneeled in front of her. "Do you love me?"
She almost fell off the chair, but she tried to keep calm. What kind of question was that? Was he the only one that didn't know? But Levi...no, not any more. She gave up that dream when she saw Agnes die in her arms. "You are like a brother to me. Of course I love you." She kept her face straight, but inside, her heart was panicking. This was a dream, a terrible dream.
"I see." He bowed his head slightly. "Do you know what I am going to say?"
"Yes." Her voice shook. How could this had happened? Why now? Did he need her for a plan?
"I am secretly paying your brother back for all that he has done for me. Instead of marrying Lord Bigart's son, tomorrow, you will be marrying me."
Rocks piled into her gut. He was just repaying a favor. How nice of him. She began to feel bitter. She began to shake lightly. Levi, I am scared and for the first time...you aren't here to save me. "I see."
Erwin's brows rose in surprise. "We thought you would be happy about this arrangement."
She nodded slowly, tears beginning to roll down her face. "Yes, well, things have changed I am afraid."
"Do you hate me because of what happened to Agnes?" He asked gently, his remaining hand grasping one of her smaller ones. She looked at it, as if the picture she was seeing was foreign and happening to some one else.
"I don't hate you, commander. I just...fell in love." She watched as her tears fell onto his hand.
"I am also sorry to hear that, but you know that this must be done, for your protection and for the security of your family." He sighed and let go of her hand. "Ingie, it is alright to hate me, I won't blame you. I know I am a bastard, but please, take comfort in knowing I will never force you to do anything you do not feel comfortable doing. Tomorrow we will be married by law, but we will be a true married man and woman when you feel the time is right."
She should have been comforted by this situation, by his words, but really, she felt as if it would have been better if she had been married off to a stranger instead. She nodded slowly. "I understand."
She heard him sigh. "I am sorry, truly. We were under the impression that I was the one you loved and that you would be much happier off with me, while keeping your family's head out of the water. Ingrid, though my life is dedicated to the cause, that doesn't mean I won't try to make you happy. I am crippled now, I can no longer work in the field. But that doesn't mean that one day I won't come home. But I promise, I will give you the life you deserve."
I could never give you what you deserve.
What do I deserve ,Levi? This? Is this was I deserve?
"Thank you." But she did not mean the words.
Fin.
Please tell me what you all think by sending in a lovely review, even if you hate it, I want to hear it. I have decided on doing a couple more chapters. But I have no solid plot as of now.
-Jane