You know your Legend of Zelda obsession has gotten a bit out of hand when….
A/N: Hi, I've been meaning to do a Zelda fic for a while! I am a big Zelda nerd, so some of these things are true. Not all, but some. Keyword being "some"…. ANYWAYS, I hope this gives you a good laugh!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable. And if you don't recognize anything, well, that sucks for you. Deal with it and wiki it or something.
-You make the desktop background to your computer Zelda Wallpaper. (Here's the instruction as to how to actually do it: Find a picture on the internet, it has to be fairly large, maybe 800 by 800 or something similarly large. Right-click on it and select "Save picture as" from the menu that comes up. Save it in your pictures, then go to your pictures and left-click on it again. One of the options that come up is "Set as desktop background". Choose that, and presto! You have a Zelda background!)
-You have every single Zelda game ever made. And every other game that features Link and/or Zelda, e.g., Super Smash Brothers Brawl. (Awesome game!)
-You have arguments with your Mario-fan best friend about who is cooler, Link or Mario. (I win every time! Take that mushroom lovers!)
-You worship Nintendo.
-You DESPISE the CD-I games and your life's ambition is to hunt down every copy and feed them to the monster that created them. (No offense to anyone who actually likes them)
-You learn that the currency in some African country is Rupees while you're in the library doing a social studies project and start to freak out.
-Whenever you see a vaguely yellow spider, you immediately squish it and scream out "I found a gold skulltula!"
-Green is your absolute favourite colour.
-You dub all redheads gerudos and try to kill them at all costs. (Okay, I don't do this. I have nothing against redheads. My best friend is a redhead for goodness sake.)
-You actually buy an ocarina and play some of the songs in the game.
-Then you get real disappointed when you don't actually transport to the temple of time.
-You have attempted to make a timeline for the games. And went completely bonkers doing it. (I swear it's completely impossible, unless you count the split timeline theory. Stupid Nintendo…)
-You draw a triforce on your hand and claim to be a chosen one of the goddesses.(I would never do this, just for the record)
-You collect empty bottles, cut grass looking for money, and lift rocks twice your size with ease.
-You go randomly into people's houses to smash their pots and jars, fully expecting them not to care or notice.
-You go up to people and are surprised that they don't say the same thing over and over.
-You try to make red, blue and green potions in your chemistry class. Them you drink them, expecting to get an energy or magic boost from them. Even if you have no clue what you put in them. Yummy.
-You try archery for fun.
-You have a completely uncontrollable urge to beat up anyone who insults Zelda in front of you.
-You throw carrots at horses, thinking it will make them run faster. Suuuuure Nintendo.
-You name your horse Epona.
-You tape feathers to a pear of ugly brown winter boots and fully expect them to allow you to hover in midair for short amounts of time. You try them out during the school trip to the Grand Canyon.
-You see an iguana and scream, "Ahhhh, it's a Dodongo! Flee you fools, flee!"
-You yell at people who say link is a leprechaun because he wears green. Then you make them play the games.
-You've beaten all of the games multiple times and boast about it to everyone you meet.
-You ask random people in your class whether or not they've played Zelda. If they say yes, have a complete spaz about how awesome the games are and ask them a million difficult-to-answer questions about their experience.
-If you've done the last one, congratulations, you just scared them away from Zelda for the rest of that person's life.
-You read and/or write Zelda fanfiction.
A/N: Well, what did you think? I got a few of these from elsewhere, so please do not sue me. I have a really crappy lawyer. Lol. If you want another chapter, review and let me know.