Disclaimer: Shitz-Suji does not own any part of Young Justice
A/N: Spoiler Alert! You have been warned.
Shitz-Suji: I saw these on the anime and manga part of FanFiction. I was bored at the time and obviously this was the result. Enjoy~
Congratulations!
You are now the proud owner of a KID FLASH unit. To make sure that that he does not eat you out of house and home, please read this manual carefully.
Unit Specifications:
Name: Wally West
Aliases: Kid Flash, KF, Kid
Place of Manufacture: America
Age: 16
Species: Human
Your KID FLASH unit comes with the following accessories:
2 pairs of red goggles
1 yellow Kid Flash top
1 pair of red pants
1 pair of red gloves equipped with timer and food compartment
3 pairs of shoulder pads
3 pairs of body protectors
5 pair of red boots
1 light blue short sleeve shirt
1 white long sleeve shirt
1 pair of blue jeans
5 pair of red trainers
1 black digital wrist watch
30 assorted candy bars
Removing your KID FLASH unit from the box:
On receiving your KID FLASH unit, you may find he is very energetic and constantly hungry. He will not attack you and send you to the hospital, resulting in agonizing pain or expensive medical bills. Just call out "THAT GIRL IS A BABE, ISN'T SHE GORGEOUS" or "COOKIES ARE READY" and he will burst out of the box without having you touch it yourself.
Programming:
Your KID FLASH unit is a speedster and social unit that works exceptionally well with other units and people. As such, he has many useful programs.
Teenage Vigilante: Do you live in a fast track town or city with equally fast track crime? Perhaps you have some unwanted homies hanging right outside your door. Never fear, your KID FLASH unit was personally trained by The FLASH unit and BLACK CANARY unit, which means he is more than enough to kick butt and be back in time to catch that new sci-fi show you both have been dying to watch.
Instant Messenger: Email and texting to slow for you? Tired of waiting for the buffer wheel on your computer to load your messages? That's all over now. With your KID FLASH unit's speedster program, he can run 10 miles in 2 nanoseconds to your friend's house and wait about three minutes before taking the message your friend sent to you. In a way, it's a bit more personal than electronic communication, but we do not recommend this method of communication since it will result in your KID FLASH unit working up an appetite.
Disposal: Don't like your mom's brussel spout casserole? Perhaps your father or brother tried to cook dinner? No problem. With your KID FLASH unit's ultra fast metabolism, he can devour a full plate within seconds and run away before anyone can notice. As long as the food isn't toxic or poisonous, he wouldn't mind the taste. THIS IS ALSO A COST EFFICIENT WAY TO MAINTAIN YOUR KID FLASH UNIT'S DIET.
Instant Wingman: Tired of not getting the ladies? Don't think you got the swag or shitz that the ladies want? Think you're going to be forever alone? Not anymore. Your KID FLASH unit is equipped with hundreds of cheesy and witty pick up lines and innuendos in 16 different languages. So the next time you catch some pretty young thing's eye, just call up your wingman and put him in the WALL-MAN program (as we'd like to call it) and you're guaranteed a 50% chance success rate.
Science Whiz: Baking soda volcanoes lost their oomph? Tired of losing to the nerd in your science fairs? Your KID FLASH unit has been equipped with supercharged brain activity making him the perfect candidate to build you (help you build) a super sleek new gadget capable of inspiring jealousy in the ROBIN unit and make your resident schoolyard nerd boil with ill concealed envy.
Motivator: Feeling down? Are you dreading what the next day would bring? You can stop that now. Your KID FLASH unit is the TEAM unit's jokester. Even if his various jokes and attempts to make you smile, you can't resist that million watt grin he gives you every time he looks at you. In addition to that, he is accident prone. Though no serious damage will be inflicted on your KID FLASH unit physically, the accidents are somewhat amusing. But constant accidents will result in the damaging of his male pride, so use this as your last resort.
Your KID FLASH unit comes with the following modes:
Goofy (default)
Friendly (default)
Flirty
Impulsive
Impatient
Mischievious
Lazy
Provoked
Calm
Serious (encrypted)
Denial (encrypted)
Your KID FLASH unit can enter more than one mode at a time. For example, in times of crisis, he can enter the Impulsive and Impatient mode at the same time. Though sometimes it could be a godsend because of your KID FLASH unit's supercharged brain activity resulting in speedster level reflexes, this combination of modes is not to be encouraged as it can result in expensive repair bills.
In your KID FLASH unit's default settings, the Goofy and Friendly modes, he has the potential to be your best unit friend. He is also capable of playing and mastering almost any online game and aiding you quest to destroy the mothership boss of sci-fi games or romp around in a fantasy themed game. Perfect for a nice hearty laugh or some companionship through your period of solitude in your room playing sci-fi games, your KID FLASH unit is the ideal unit for gaming and lounging around.
The KID FLASH unit is a self proclaimed ladies man. Whether or not the KID FLASH unit is, we don't know and we don't intend to find out. But when he deems a female attractive enough, he may enter his Flirty mode. In this mode, he may utilize the library of pick up lines he has and use them in a rapid fire manner that may incur the wrath of an ARTEMIS unit. If the ARTEMIS unit deems your KID FLASH unit has utilized his library too much, she will keep him line (ARTEMIS unit purchased serperately).
Your KID FLASH unit has a partner in crime unit who is the protégé of the BATMAN unit. Tread carefully when the ROBIN unit and KID FLASH unit communicate together because without PROPER supervision, your humble abode may end up in ruins. Along with the ROBIN unit, your KID FLASH unit will enter his Mischievious mode. To keep these two units in line and prevent property damage charges, it is wise to purchase an AQUALAD unit or BATMAN unit to supervise their activities when you are not around.
When your KID FLASH unit occasionally has his speedster accidents while running around, fighting villains or picking up your dry cleaning, he may end up with some major injuries such as a broken arm or leg. This will most likely result on the activation of his Lazy mode. In this mode, he will utilize his injury or broken limb to the fullest extent and may have other units or people fawn over him. During this period, it is very common to hear requests of nachos and coconut juice from him. If you do not wish to become his maid, then we suggest the purchase and activation of a CAPTAIN MARVEL unit.
Your KID FLASH unit could enter his Provoked mode by engaging in verbal confrontation with the ARETMIS unit. This could be cause by them having different view on different subject such as magic. If the KID FLASH unit could see he is losing very badly, than he may enter his Denial mode. There had been reports about the subject of denial, whether it may be the existence of magic, him becoming a DR. FATE unit for a brief moment or that very strong feelings exist between the two units. If a user has discovered the answer, please report your findings and we will alert other users.
Although these modes are very rare, your KID FLASH unit has the potential to enter his Serious, Calm, and Determine modes all at the same time. These modes will only be activated in times of urgency and are very difficult to see. Most likely, your KID FLASH unit will activate all three in a dangerous cover mission involving high profile villains that are very difficult to overcome. There has been claims that the KID FLASH unit utilized all three to profess his very strong feelings to the ARTEMIS unit, please keep an eye on him should that happen.
Feeding:
If you can cook or you have purchased a MISS MARTIAN unit or the unlimited supply of chocolate bars, than you will have no problem feeding him. He is not a picky eater so you can relax. You may however, have trouble with your wallet and savings after he has eaten. (Shitz-Suji: Indeed . . . it might look kind of limp and floppy and empty.) We advise you on persuading a ROBIN unit to lend his ALFRED PENNYWORTH unit to cook for the KID FLASH unit seeing that the butler unit has no problem in keeping up with food demands.
Cleaning:
During TEAM missions, the KID FLASH unit may get a little scruffy, but he is very capable of cleaning himself. He is many things, but unhygienic in not one of them. He is 16 year old and will obviously object to any assistance during his cleansing process unless perhaps he deems you attractive enough to assist him. Remember if that happens, please purchase or call for your nearest ARTEMIS unit to assist you otherwise your actions will be classified as voyeurism.
Interaction with other units:
The FLASH: This unit is the mentor and biological uncle unit to your KID FLASH unit. Your KID FLASH unit in his younger days had discovered notebooks that contained the attempts to duplicate the original FLASH unit's powers. However, your KID FLASH unit did not listen to his uncle unit which resulted in a less successful and destructive outcome. Currently, these two units are very close and have a good relationship compared to other mentors and partners
ROBIN: As stated from above, the ROBIN unit is your KID FLASH unit's best friend. They are partners in crime and the ROBIN unit has trusted the KID FLASH unit enough to reveal his civilian identity. Your KID FLASH unit has a tendency to call the ROBIN unit Rob and in turn is called K.F by ROBIN. The KID FLASH unit also has a tendency to end his sentences with dude should the ROBIN unit embarrass him in front of someone important or an attractive female.
MISS MARTIAN: Your KID FLASH unit has an obvious infatuation with the MISS MARTIAN unit. He shows this infatuation through a constant stream of cheesy pick up lines and attempts to gain her attention. The ROBIN unit has stated once before that his behavior borderlines on "creepy" and we recommend the purchase and activation of an ARTEMIS unit to keep him in line.
ARTEMIS: The ARTEMIS unit and KID FLASH unit appear not to cooperate with each other, but several technical reports beg to differ but have not been proven yet. Your KID FLASH unit will remain in a hostile and provoked mode to this unit and direct all his attention to a MISS MARTIAN unit who is already taken by a SUPERBOY unit. During a mission simulation, your KID FLASH unit was reduced to an emotional wreck when this unit was classified as terminated. He denied any existence of strong feelings afterwards.
RUDY & MARY WEST: These are the parental units of your KID FLASH units. They are fine with his dual identity as the WALLY WEST unit and KID FLASH unit and are used to his strange lifestyle.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Problem: Yeah, my KID FLASH unit has been eating like a lot. I have to buy almost a week's worth of groceries and it only lasts about three days. How do I make him eat less?
Solution: You don't. The KID FLASH unit's metabolism is very fast and demands a constant supply of nourishment otherwise he will fail to perform at a 100% success rate. You can try to feed him more vegetables as an attempt to get him to eat a little less.
Problem: He keeps flirting with my female friends and it's making them a bit uncomfortable. How do I get him to stop?
Solution: If they are considered attractive and they do not appreciate cheesy pick up lines than do not bring them close to the KID FLASH unit.
Problem: I live in a relatively quiet home setting, but once I decided to purchase an ARTEMIS and KID FLASH unit, I got more noise than I bargained for. Is there any way to make them shut up?
Solution: There is no know solution yet, but you can always try the ROBIN unit to act as the responsible person or play match maker.
Troubleshooting:
Question: I accidentally made a bad batch of cookies and when I turned around they were gone. I'm afraid that my KID FLASH unit is going to die. Help.
Solution: Depending on how toxic the cookies are, he should be fine. If he vomits or attempts to seek out an ARTEMIS, AQUALAD, or ROBIN unit for help, you should contact us and send him to us for repairs.
Question: When he went out as my wingman, he got all the chicks and made me the third wheel. This should not occur as I have read your manual carefully.
Solution: Did you tell your KID FLASH unit that you needed him as a wingman or party buddy?
Question: I wake up every morning to my KID FLASH unit telling me to hurry up. Is this normal behavior?
Solution: The KID FLASH unit is a speedster unit and therefore very impatient to get the day started. You should sit down and tell him about your sleep schedule or have an ARTEMIS unit stand outside your door to prevent him from waking you up.