DISCLAMAR: NOTHING IS MINE, EXCEPT THE TEARS I CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS
IF SOMEONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN BEING A BETA FOR ME FOR FUTURE FICS I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER! I DID NOT HAVE ANYONE TO BETA/CHECK THIS SO I AM SORRY IF I HAVE ANY GRAMMAR OR WRITING MISTAKES. IF YOU FIND ANY PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME! THANK YOU, AND READ ON! (:
Natasha was quietly staring into what occupied the space in front of her. She sat in the third seat in from the left, in the first row of chairs out of ten lines of seats. To her left sat Director Nick Furry and to her right sat her only friend Pepper Pots, who was silently holding Natasha's hand in her lap. They all wore black for the occasion that was Agent Clint Barton's funeral and burial. He had been Natasha's partner ever since that day all the way back in Budapest when he insisted he had "saved her from her life" and brought her into SHIELD.
She cared for him much more than she would ever admit out loud to anyone, even herself. She always said that love was for children but her heart didn't believe the same idea when she was around the famous archer. Her heart sped up, and her breath become labored. He slowly, without cause, crept into her heart and stayed there with a vengeance. He was the one and only person to ever take up residence in there, and now he was gone from her forever; only existing in fleeing memories.
All around the master assassin, tears flowed, all from the eyes of those attending the funeral. At some point throughout the service everyone's eyes had, at least, become misted and some even let tears flow from the first second. Everyone, that is, except Natasha Romanoff, a.k.a. The black widow; the only person in attendance who was trained to not hold onto feelings or show them in the least. She had thought about wanting to release a tear or two, but knew better of it as soon as the thought crept into her mind. She would hold them all in until she was safely on her own, in her room later that night. In the dead of night Natasha would safely and quietly let go of her will power and training, and release all of the pent up feelings she was holding in now. She will whisper out into the air her last words and thoughts to a partner that will never hear them.
That will be in the near future, but in the present now, Natasha had to keep up her facade and let no emotion past the mask she put on. She was the black widow god damn it and had to let no one see past what they thought they knew about her. Barton wouldn't have wanted her to act like this, always insisting she act more human and less robot, but he was gone and she had to carry on without him; as if he had never existed. That was her training and it is what she had always done throughout her tough life whenever someone had lost their life. It was what she will always carry on to do, even long after Clint Baron's funeral.
Out of her mind and back into what was going on around her, she could hear the priest talk on and on. She didn't understand why there was even a priest there because Clint had never been a religious person and would have probably just laughed at the idea. It wouldn't even to do anything for him now though, but it was for the souls in the crowd of people crying out for a lost loved one.
Natasha only half listened to the priest throughout the ceremony anyway by the time she realized to burial was over. When Agent Barton was in the ground, his final resting place, everyone proceeded to stand up. She followed suit with Pepper still holding onto her limp hand because she was the closest thing to a friend the spy had left. It did nothing for Natasha, her thinking it was a little bit ridiculous, but it made Pepper feel better as if she was doing something to help a friend.
When they stood up Pepper looked into Natasha's dry,dead eyes and questioned if she was okay at all because she knew the spy's eyes had never misted up even once throughout the heartbreaking day they just endured. She said she knew Natasha had loved Clint and he had meant a lot to her and it was probably hard to lost a close friend like that. Natasha had looked back at Pepper and replied saying that love was for children and he was just a partner to her and nothing more. Pepper let go of her limp hand and let Natasha walk away, filing out with the crowd to their respective cars.
Late that night when the moon was high in the sky and stars would have been bright if she did not reside in New York City Natasha Romanoff sat stealthily on her bed and let out a breath she couldn't carry on holding any longer. She whispered into the stale night air to a partner that could no longer listen to her voice and words. She spoke what she had wished would have been her last words to him and let a few tears fall from her eyes onto her cheeks. She didn't wipe them away but instead let them fall down her cheeks, down her neck and seep into the collar of her shirt. She stayed perfectly still while she continued to speak what her mind had been racing about all day. When she finished crying and talking and her brain finally settled down into a numb feeling she let Clint go from her mind. She let him go from her life and everything he was in it. This was what she was taught to do, it will be what she will continue to do even long after she had forgotten this night. She laid down in her bed with what she hoped to be her last memories of the archer Clint Barton, but she knew better. She knew he would never leave her life or her mind, but she pretended. She will pretend that he meant nothing to her, and that he will never again enter the mind of the black widow.