Ghillies on the Crapper.
A/N: I decided to take a short break from writing the Mega Crossover and instead
Lieutenant Price and Captain MacMillan had been lying on the rooftop for what seemed like hours, monitoring the site with binoculars.
Lieutenant Price was quite bored, and he started to feel a pressure in his lower stomach.
The minutes passed, and Lieutenant Price was really starting to feel it.
"Captain?"
"Aye, laddie?"
"I think I need to go."
"Go where?"
"Go and do the business."
"What business?"
Price sighed. MacMillian was kind of blunt in certain areas.
"I need to take a crap."
"Oh. You shouldae told me, laddie buck! It's okay, I ken what you need to do. I got this area covered."
"Where should I go?"
MacMillian looked around.
"Pick a corner, any corner."
Price looked around. He really needed to go. Those C-class rations really brought on the runs.
He picked the corner furthest from their position, and tried to find the zipper on the back of his suit.
He finally found it, and yanked it down, getting it stuck on a stray fiber.
"Oh, Crap!"
He looked over to MacMillian.
"Captain? My zipper is stuck!"
MacMillian looked over.
"Try pulling all the way back up, then down."
Price tried it.
"Are you a lass? You cannae unzip your own zipper?"
Price kept on yanking, until he ripped it.
"Uhhh…"
MacMillian shook his head.
Price continued to his corner and attempted to do his business.
Instead of runs, he now felt like he had constipation.
He decided to do his business off of an edge.
He picked the one that had the rappels on it.
He had never done this before, in any combat situation.
He squeezed his stomach muscles so hard, his head felt light and dizzy.
He stopped, then tried again, as hard as he could earthly do, and let out a few groans of pain, as his stool started to emerge.
He kept on pushing, harder than ever, now seeing the finish line.
But then, the Call of Duty 4 crisis music went on.
"Oi! Suzie! Get done with your business. The meeting is starting!"
Lieutenant Price was only ¾ of the way done, and he had reached another impasse.
"Hurry up, Price! The wind speed is slowing!"
Price had to end his poo there, and he started to flex his butt muscles, to cut off the poop, but it was too thick.
"Lieutenant! The meeting is ending!"
Price just exploded his entire muscle force into the piece of poo, and it launched over the edge.
Price scrambled over to the sniper rifle, didn't look through his scope, and fired.
"Good Shot, Mate! You go him in the head!"
He then sniped everything there. Including the Jeeps, and MacMillian had to stand back from the heat of the rifle.
"HOLY SHITE! Mate, that was epic."
"My poops was epic, too."
For good measure, Price sniped Zakhaevs body 23 times, so he ended up not dying until he retired in 2045, a very old man, and started a family of 60.
MacMillian continued his career, until he retired in 2050, and then hunted the Yeti. He made them extinct.
Zakhaev died, and therefore, his nubbish son decided to do something real with his life, where he didn't threaten old men with his sub-uzi.
Soap ended up legit, too, even though there was no conflict. He ran the F.N.G course so many times, he became the only one to complete it in .3 seconds.
Gaz already was legit, but it was revealed that he was actually a secret MI 6 agent, who was there to monitor the regiment. So therefore, he was actually James Bond, except he actually killed people.
The turd of Captain Price was affected by the radiation, and eventually turned sentient, and escaped, into the sewers, where he lives the life of a king, and controld when the story ends.
It ends now.