This oneshot is based on and dedicated to TwistedSystem's heartbreakingly WONDERFUL oneshot It's Just a Little Crush. It is the flip side of their story, which was told through Aera's eyes. My version tells the story through Mercer Frey's eyes. Please review/comment/give feedback, and do take the time to read TwistedSystem's version. It was the original and it deserves the praise. Mine would have never been written without theirs!

This is ultimately dedicated to TwistedSystem.
Thank you.

Everything was coming together perfectly and had been for the last two decades, except for one tiny error. A mistake that could have been bypassed if Brynjolf had kept his damn tongue shut behind his teeth and looked the other way – if he hadn't let her join. It was too late, of course, and I was forced into accepting this new protégé that I was certain would be found weeping like a child in the corner after some tough talk from Vex, or lying dead in a gutter after their first failed mission. I'd seen it before – I'd seen it for the past twenty five years ever since I dispatched Gallus and took over as Guild Master. But that single mistake drove such a huge wedge into my plans that even I couldn't figure out how to get by this one.

Her name was Aera, and even though I dared not admit it to myself, I was just as in love with her and desiring her as much a thief standing twenty feet away from a purse of coins in a room full of eyes. But it was a secret I longed to bury and forget. I couldn't have our fates intertwined.

It won't last forever.

…

It was an ordinary day – then again, all days in the cistern were ordinary. No fancy light shows, no murder and mayhem, no new stories escaping Vipir's lips over by the cooking pot. It was all very boring and plain; the greedy ache to plot and steal and lift higher and higher on the adrenaline rush was a nasty bite to the heart. I spent my days looming over the ledger instead, making sure the same numbers from an hour ago were still the same, counting the seconds until I would be free to run away from this stinking jail full of grinning buffoons and snippy know-it-alls…

…And Aera.

That's when the very woman I was trying to not think about plunked down on the side of the desk, crossing her thighs and taking a bite from an apple. I could feel her eyes fixed on the side of my head and I mentally cursed. Damn that woman. Can't she see I'm busy? Shadows forbid she try to start a conv-

"Hey, Guild Master!" Aera uttered cheerfully. I sighed, pleading Nocturnal to help me keep my wits together, and hesitantly droned in reply, "What, Aera?"

I shouldn't have bothered saying anything. I heard the desk creak as the girl took a deep breath in excitement – she didn't realize that I'd noticed it every time I answered her – and she softly asked, "What are you up to?"

I rolled my eyes at her naïve sense of curiosity and young lust. I didn't understand her sometimes. Aera was smart and had a decent arsenal of skills. I'd seen her fight fiercely against some of the other Guild members during training, and I'd watched her blush or laugh carelessly at the more-than-simply-friendly comments from some of the boys, but the moment it came to me… All of it snapped off and I was left with this fragile little girl staring at me like a young doe in a hunter's range. Every word quivered with a shy sweetness that almost made my head ache, and I always told myself those four little words… those four little words that seemed to be becoming weaker and weaker with every passing day:

It won't last forever.

I remembered when I met Aera. She'd followed Brynjolf into the cistern, bedraggled and shivering with enthusiasm. Her eyes fell on me about the same time I glimpsed her peer out from behind Brynjolf, and the world tilted right upside down. I wanted to run, I wanted to tear my hair and skin and eyes out and just keep running until I was less than a shadow, hidden from the face of the world. I didn't want her to look at me with those innocent eyes that stole my heart.

The hurt that shone in them every time I cast her a foul glare or snapped at her about not being good enough – it found a way to hurt. If anything could penetrate my armour and twist my heart in a cruel vice… it was how Aera looked at me when I broke her down. But somehow, somehow, she always got back up and proceeded to surprise me with her inability to crumble. There was a fierce determination about her, a fire that I liked. She was that coin purse at the end of the room full of eyes, not worth the effort or sacrifice, but yet worth every moment in the thrill of the chase. Aera was the prize I couldn't have, and it drove me insane.

It won't last forever.

"Work… unlike you," I responded to her question, coldly, never raising my eyes from the numbers on the paper. They were all that stood between myself, Aera and every desperate thought burning holes into my mind. "Don't you have something else to do besides pester me?"

"Nope," came her humoured response. "Besides, who would talk to you if I didn't?" Her tone was agonizingly playful.

I clenched my teeth and snapped, "No one, if I would be so lucky to not have tedious small talk with you. Can't you busy yourself?" I feared that I suddenly sounded too pleading. I never pleaded.

"Maaaybe." Aera took another crunch of the apple in her hand and I let my eyes flutter up for a brief moment. Her lips shone with the juice of the apple and her throat pulsed as she swallowed. I dropped my fixed gaze before she could see me staring, furiously glaring at the papers below my hands.

It won't last forever… It won't…

It can't.

"Aera," I uttered, my voice ragged.

"Yeees, Guild Master?" her tone was teasing but I was done with the jokes.

"Go away." Please.

"But Guild Maaassteerrrr!" she whined, her voice high pitched with tender laugher. I clenched my fist loosely and raised my head, unable to look at the ledger any longer. My eyes found her face; those shining eyes, that smirk. Everything in me trembled and fell. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, unclenched my fist and straightened my spine. I stepped around the desk and Aera's eyes widened.

Any man knows when a woman is in love, even if she hasn't realized it, and every woman knows when a man is about to make an advance. I could see that recognition there, the nervous swirl in the depths of those orbs. I surprised her instead of taking the route that would have surely ended me… and her.

I grabbed her and lifted her, flinging her over my shoulder and marching towards the middle of the cistern. Everyone in the Guild was watching as Aera pounded her hands against my back, shrieking, "W-w-what in Oblivion are you doing?!" I wrapped an arm around her legs so she wouldn't kick my chest any harder than she already had.

With a triumphant smirk, I dropped her into the cistern. She landed hard, the cold water surging up around her shoulders and she sat up quickly, dragging in a sharp breath. "Wha-!" she spluttered furiously, blinking water out of her eyes.

"Now get out and wipe down your leather before it ruins," I called over my shoulder, heading back to the desk. Aera smacked at the water, sending a spray towards me that missed. I was looking back down at the ledger by the time she had stood and was flicking water drops from her hands. I could hear her cursing under her breath as she stalked by.

I couldn't help but smile.

It won't last forever, Mercer…

…

And it didn't.