WARNING: Crackfic, not a slash fic. Will make no sense if you haven't seen Professor Layton and the Malignant Growth.
It was another peaceful day in the Layton household (or so we think…) Flora was once again crying in the corner after Layton kicked Luke in his bowels and he began to…do unmentionable things. Luke was reading a story about Baseball, and thinking to himself "Baseball begins with B Professah!" whilst unknown to him, Don Paolo aka the "Bed intruder" was climbing up the pipes humming the Bed intruder lyrics to the super Mario theme tune. Don Paolo did not know Luke was in the room he was climbing into.
Now inside the room, a very diabolical box caught his attention. It was very diabolical indeed. He thought to himself "Oh my, what a diabolical box!" He opened this diabolical box, only to discover the most diabolical heroin of all diabolical heroins.
"My my. I truly like the word diabolical," he thought to himself. "From now on, Don is going to stand for Diabolical, not Donald or Paul like everyone thinks."
Then he discovered a tag onto the box that said "Pandora's box."
"Damn you, language changes" he thought to himself.
"Professah?" a voice said. "Professah! Come and read to me a story about BASEBALL!"
"Wa…?" Don Paolo said, turning around.
"Omg! Professah! You have a beard!" The boy with a navy blue hat said.
"It's a moustache, not a beard!" Dona Paolo said. "I style it every day with beard gel!"
"Beard gel begins with B Professah!"
"I'm not the Professor! I'm the world famous Diabolical Paolo, also known as the Diabolical Bed intruder!"
"Bed has four letters!"
"You!" Don (or should I say, Diabolical) Paolo shouted. "Shut-up so I can steal that diabolical heroin box!"
"Okay Professah," Luke said. "But first, read to me a story about BASEBALL!"
"Okay…" Don Paolo muttered.
He picked up the book from Luke's bed, and turned the page.
"Ahem," he began. "There was once a-"
"TOUCHDOWN!" Luke shouted.
"Shut-up!" Dona Paolo shouted, hitting Luke across the head. It took precisely 3.95789 seconds to calm Luke down.
"Now then…" he continued. "The boy enjoyed playing-"
"TOUCHDOWN!" Luke shouted again.
The very same conversation continued until finally, Don Diabolical Paolo became very, very annoyed. So annoyed, that in fact he was just about to open the window and jump out, when suddenly a gentlemen wearing a brown top hat came running into the room, crying about a "malignant growth". He was so loud that Don Diabolical Paolo tripped over the window ledge and fell into a large bin inside a bush.
"I'll get you for this in chapter 2, Layton!" Don Diabolical Paolo shouted, but inside his mind he was secretly thinking "Oh my, a Diabolical growth, how smexy!"