A/N: I might play a little fast and loose with the timeline of some episodes, but I don't think so. Definitely set post Livewire and How Does She Do It? but before Hostile Takeover. Oneshot, but with possible continuations down the line.
After the incident with the train, Kara is surprised Cat lets her so much as speak Carter's name. She's even more surprised when she's allowed to let him sit at her desk the next time he visits his mother at work, arriving earlier than expected and while Cat is still in the middle of a call she can't drop. There had been the barest moment of hesitation before she'd given permission, a hesitation likely noticeable only to someone with super speed or someone who knew Cat Grant very well. And Kara Danvers fits both of those qualifications.
It's enough to make Kara absolutely determined that nothing go wrong, because Cat is trusting her, and there's no way she can let her down again. She'd never be able to regain that trust, or overcome the sense of failure that still lingers from when she'd heard that Carter was on that train.
She still remembers that panic sometimes, the realization that she can't save everyone, that she has to choose between thousands and hundreds. The realization that she hadn't chosen between them, but between thousands and two. And the shame that had come from that decision.
But she knows she'd likely make it again, that no matter what shame she has to live with, whatever failings that choice would reveal about her character, she'll shoulder them all as long as it means Cat and Carter are safe and smiling. They've become a part of her family, just as Alex had all those years ago, and Kara will always put family first. She's lost too many members of her family to risk any more.
Thankfully there seems to be no chance of that today, the DEO has been mostly quiet on all fronts in a way that seems normal rather than suspicious after their last win, Carter is chattering happily next to her about some school thing she barely understands, and Cat? Cat is looking at them with a soft smile on her face that makes Kara afraid to look at her directly, for fear of chasing it away. It almost feels like she's been forgiven for the mess the last time she'd watched Carter.
When Cat's call finally ends and Carter rushes in to tell his mother the same story he'd been telling Kara, the smile brightens so much that Kara has to look away. She's seen Cat smile at Carter before, has even seen her smile like that. But something about this time, with the gentle smile that had included her only a moment before, sets Kara's heart racing and her emotions tumbling. Because she's seen Cat smile like that, but she's never seen Cat smile at her like that.
And now that she has, even if it was mostly for Carter, every stray feeling that Kara has ever had for her boss, every flash of want or breath of contentment that comes from just being in her presence, it all hits her at the same time. And she's always been able to push them away before, to rationalize each emotion into nothingness, but there's no chance of that this time. She can't pretend that the swooping feeling in her stomach is reflected happiness at seeing Cat happy, rather than a desire to make Cat that happy every day for the rest of forever. And the heat in her chest right over her heart, that isn't just respect and a little awe at how accomplished Cat is, that's a desire to kiss the woman and show her just how impressed Kara is, how proud she is of everything the woman has done and continues to do. A desire to be right by her side as she moves forward, as they move forward and accomplish even more together.
It's overwhelming in the same way her powers had been when she'd first landed on Earth, but she can't seem to control this as easily as she'd learned to control them. Even without her glasses she can keep from seeing through walls, but she can't keep from seeing scenes of a future with Cat, a future with Carter.
She knows it's ridiculous, that it's an overreaction she should be able to control. That there's no way Cat would ever feel that way about her, or would ever trust her to be in Carter's life that much. They're silly fantasies and nothing more, but Kara can't help indulging them for just a moment longer.
Because Cat had smiled at her.
Even lost in silly daydreams, Kara hears the sound of Cat calling her name with no trouble, reacting immediately just as she always does. As she always will. And the familiarity is enough to push the fantasies back into a corner of her mind, though Kara knows they won't stay there for long. Not when Cat is smiling at her again, soft and genuine in a way that should seem out of place but somehow seems right for this moment.
"Kiera, my calendar for the evening is still clear, correct?" Cat asks once Kara is fully in the room, tablet in hand and already open to the relevant app. Because while nights with Carter will always be top priority, it's impossible to completely block off that much of an evening from possible emergencies when you run an entire media empire, and Cat will never hide that from her son. So every time one of his evenings comes around Kara keeps a close eye on the evening's schedule, seamlessly rescheduling what can be moved, and often managing the few things that can't without needing Cat's actual presence. Cat's nights with Carter are usually Kara's nights at CatCo, she's more than willing to give up the evening to make sure Cat gets as much time with her son as possible.
"All clear, Miss Grant. Marketing wanted a meeting but I scheduled them with Accounting first, from their message there were a few things they should have clarified for them beforehand. Other than that, nothing seems to have come up." It's a remarkable light week for CatCo as well as the DEO apparently, usually there are at least three reschedules and four mildly pressing concerns for Kara to field. But at this rate, she might not even need to spend the entire evening at the office.
"Very well, let me know when Marketing manages to get whatever ridiculous proposal they have in mind this time in some semblance of order so I can clear enough time to shoot them down." Cat seems as surprised by the lack of potential issues as Kara feels, her usual snark somewhat dulled by the lack of content to criticize. "Now Kiera, I know you usually stay at the office far too late on nights like this, but if that's all that's come up so far, then why don't you take the evening for yourself. I'm sure there's some ridiculous hobby or other you get up to in your spare time that your evening could be spent doing instead."
Kara's jaw wants to drop open from the shock of that, she hadn't realized Cat knew she spent as many evenings as she could making sure the CEO wasn't bothered unless she had to be. And she hadn't expected to be let off the hook tonight, never could have anticipated the hint of softness under the seeming dismissal. It's as disarming as the smile had been earlier, even more so because she can see the barest hint of that same smile tugging at the corners of Cat's mouth.
"Maybe she can come with us tonight" Carter suggests out of the blue, causing both women's heads to snap around in shock. "I mean, if Kara really was going to hang out here all night, that means she doesn't have plans. And we were just going to look at Christmas lights since we can't decorate the apartment and you said Christmas lights on beach houses are unforgivably tacky." The boy is smirking in a way that's entirely his mother, and Kara knows it's going to be the death of her. Aliens and crazy powerful humans are one thing, but she has no way to fight Carter Grant when he decides he wants something.
"Honey, I'm sure Kiera has other plans she can make for the night, and this was going to be our time together for the week." There's no hidden bite in Cat's voice that Kara can pick up, no obvious determination to keep Kara as far from the two of them as possible. And even if Cat will never snap at Carter, Kara knows her well enough to find the hidden notes, the subtle clues that have become so easy for her to read. And everything she sees from Cat now tells her that the older woman genuinely would not mind her company, even if she won't ask for it.
"Come on Mom, five minutes ago she was gonna be here all night, there's no way she has plans already." Carter's eyes are pleading now, and apparently Cat is as susceptible to them as Kara is if not more so, because Kara recognizes that soft sigh and the set of her shoulders. And Carter obviously does too, turning the pleading look on Kara as soon as he sees his mother give in. "It'll be so much fun Kara, please won't you come with us?"
And Kara wants to say yes as soon as he asks, would love to spend any amount of time with the two of them. But it's Cat's night with her son, the one night every two weeks that she steps as far away from CatCo as she can to focus completely on Carter. "Carter, I would love to spend more time with you, but don't you think your mother would want you all to herself on your night together? I wouldn't want to intrude on that."
The smile is back on Cat's face with no attempt to hide now, and Kara hopes that the swooping feeling in her stomach isn't causing any obvious physical reactions for the woman to pick up on. And she feels a little ridiculous over the fact that a smile can make her feel this way, but god she can't help it. Cat smiling like that is quickly becoming her favorite thing, and whatever Kara has to do in the future to see it, she will.
"Well yeah, but it's not like I haven't seen her this week" Carter says with a shrug as he looks between them. "She's been home by 7 every night, and we've had dinner together each time, just the two of us. And I know she makes calls after that, but I've still spent a lot of time with her, so it's not really losing anything this week, right?"
"Carter is right, we have had more time together than usual this week, which I have greatly enjoyed. So while I would love another evening with him and without work, I suppose it wouldn't be too much of an imposition if you joined us. Since Carter seems to want your presence, I leave the decision up to you." There's a careful nonchalance to Cat's voice that gives Kara pause, just for a moment. She wants to be sure Cat isn't hiding something, some desire for Kara to say no and leave them to their night. But no, if there's any hidden layer, Kara would be willing to bet it's a desire to ask if she'll come with them, a desire that Cat will never actually acknowledge. But Kara hears it, and she thinks Carter does too, because the boy is smiling widely at them both, and Kara feels her heart melt at the sight. How he's managed to get so far into her life in so short a time Kara will never know for sure, but she isn't going to argue with it now. Not when she knows it won't do any good. No, she'll just focus on keeping that particular emotion bottled up where her boss won't be able to see it.
"Then of course I'd love to come." Kara says with a smile of her own, trying to ignore the way her heart stutters when Cat softens even more. Surely she's just imagining things, reading too much into a situation that doesn't actually mean anything. "I wouldn't want to disappoint you, Carter."
"Yes well, I do believe there are still edits to be fetched from the editors before we can leave, so why don't you run along and grab those. Really Kiera, if you're going to plan on an early night, shouldn't you at least finish your regular duties?" There's a note of softness beneath the usual curtness in Cat's voice, but the seeming return to normalcy is enough to let Kara push the confusing mess of emotions back into their box for the time being.
"Of course, Miss Grant" Kara says automatically, shooting one last smile at Carter before heading out to finish grabbing the last of the edits and other materials Cat will need before leaving for the night. And the smile that comes from the boy at that would be enough on its own, but when it's laced with excitement that Kara knows comes from the thought of the upcoming evening it reminds Kara of the thrill that comes from flying.
The rest of the day passes quickly, the memory of Cat and Carter's smiles more effective than the sun at keeping Kara's energy up. And before she knows it Cat is gathering her things and ushering Carter towards the door. "Kiera, that's enough for the night. If you're going to tag along, it's time to go. The rest of the work can wait until morning."
"It's gonna be awesome Kara, Mom's drivers know all the best houses to see. There's one where all the lights are on timers to make these really cool images. The amount of programming that has to take is amazing. I wish I could do something like that." Carter keeps chattering the entire way to the elevator, not letting his mother or Kara get a word in. Not that either seems to mind, Kara knows the smiles on their faces are identical as they take in just how animated this normally shy and withdrawn boy is in their presence.
When they reach Cat's private elevator Kara stands back out of habit, ready to head for the public elevators once the doors close. "Wait, Mom, can I ride down with Kara? I want to ask her about something for school."
Kara can see the hesitation on Cat's face, and wonders what could have put it there. It's not like Carter couldn't wait not even five minutes until they're in the car after all, and normally her boss wouldn't hesitate to give that answer. So is it because she still doesn't trust Kara with her son, but doesn't want to refuse Carter? Or is it something else? Kara doesn't know, doesn't know what to say to smooth over the silence that's beginning to turn awkward.
"I suppose that's okay" Cat says eventually, eyes hidden behind sunglasses and giving nothing away, even as her voice stays similarly blank. "But Carter, you are not to touch anything in that elevator, and you will be using hand sanitizer once you get to the car, okay?" There's a hint of concern in Cat's voice now, and Kara is surprised to realize the hesitation was entirely about germs. If Cat was still worried about letting Kara take charge of Carter, there would be more than a simple note of concern, but Kara can hear nothing in the woman's voice to suggest that.
"Okay Mom" Carter agrees cheerfully, turning to head for the other elevators before the doors of his mother's even close, and Kara is quick to follow. Even if it's barely 50 feet, she isn't letting Carter more than a foot or two away from her for any reason. "We have to do this project for science class where we test surfaces that are supposed to be clean to see what germs live there, and I wanted to test Mom's elevator" he starts as soon as the doors close behind them, and Kara has to fight back a chuckle when she realizes why he'd wanted to ask her for help without his mother being around.
"And you don't want your mother to know, because you know if there's a germ of any kind she'll hate the elevator even though it's the whole reason she bought the building" Kara finishes with a nod of understanding. "It sounds like a good choice though, and I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to test it without your mom seeing."
"That's kind of why I wanted to talk to you" Carter says nervously, retreating for a moment into the shy boy Kara had met first, the boy he'd been around her until she'd managed to break through his shell. Or well, since Supergirl had, which was both the same and not the same, really. Which was definitely not the point right now, Kara thinks as she refocuses on Carter. "I was hoping you could keep my mom distracted for a bit? I brought the supplies I'll need, I just need a few minutes to get the sample and label it like we're supposed to. I just really need to get this done tonight, I haven't had a chance all week and we go on winter break in a few days." Carter is asking as if he expects to be turned down, and Kara can't bring herself to disappoint him.
"I'm sure I can manage a few minutes of conversation" she says lightly, careful to avoid seeming like she's teasing him. "Are you going to tell her you left something upstairs and that you can grab it faster on your own?"
"I hadn't really planned that far yet" Carter says sheepishly, grin back on his face. "But that's a good idea. I don't know what to say I forgot though, I left my backpack in the car when I came up."
Kara starts thinking furiously, trying to come up with something plausible. "Oh, maybe I can say I left my phone and you can run to get it for me" it's not perfect, there's every chance that Cat will send her back up instead of Carter, but if she does then they can figure out another option later.
"But won't that make Mom mad at you?" Carter asks seriously, looking worried at the very idea. "I don't want you to get in trouble."
"I'll be fine" Kara says with a laugh, trying to ignore the jolt of worry his words cause. She hadn't thought of that, and she's sure Cat will have plenty to say if she lets Carter head back up. But Carter wants her help, and it's not like Kara hasn't been in trouble with her boss before. "Besides, you need this tonight and we don't have a better plan, so you'll just have to help me make her forget to be mad at me if she is" now Kara lets herself sound teasing, just enough to make it seem like they're sharing something without making him feel attacked.
"I can do that" Carter says instantly, with a bit of the confidence he'd had when Supergirl had asked for his help, and Kara marvels for a moment that this version of herself can help him as well as a superhero can. "Here, let me see your phone so I can come back down with it, and as soon as you pretend to notice you left it I'll run for the elevator. Mom never stops me if I actually want to do something." He's amazingly self-aware for a young boy, no, a young man Kara realizes, and it makes her heart swell even as she worries about him, knowing this is how her boss must feel about him. Not that she lingers too long on what that means.
"Right, good thinking" she says, passing him her phone, hoping that nothing will come up in the five minutes he's away from her. The communication device hidden in her ear will ring no matter how far away he gets, one of the many benefits of alien military technology, but she really doesn't want to give the incredibly insightful teen any dots to connect. Not to mention that she's warned Alex that tonight is emergency only, so a call would mean she has to abandon her night out.
Kara is surprised to see Cat waiting for them inside, she'd half expected the woman to already be in the car she can see pulled up out front. They'll have less room to pull this off now, and Kara hopes Carter is right about his mother not stopping him. Pushing the worry aside, when they get close enough that she won't have to shout for Cat to hear her, Kara pretends to reach for her phone, a nervous tic that Cat knows well, knowing the woman will recognize it. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Miss Grant, I left my phone upstairs on the charger" she says, radiating apology as she looks at the older woman.
"I'll get it for you" Carter says, instantly taking his cue and running for the private elevator. Even without superspeed the boy can move when he wants to, and he's pushing the button before his mother can call for him, throwing a thumbs up back at the two of them.
"Am I going to need to pretend I'm shocked at whatever it is you two clearly have planned?" Cat says with a sigh as the elevator doors close, and Kara freezes. "Oh come now, Kiera. You're a good actress when you have to be, but I know you well enough to know when you're pretending. And Carter does not have the same ability to hide that you do. Add that to his insistence on riding that germ ridden death trap down with you, and obviously you two are up to something. Not that I mind, you understand. It's nice seeing him that outgoing with someone else. I just want to be a little more believable than you two were, should I need to be." There's a knowing look in Cat's eyes that sets Kara's thoughts whirring, wondering just how much her boss knows, and what about.
"Miss Grant, I-" she tries, hoping that a denial will work even as she knows it's not likely. And the sharp glare sent her way makes it clear that there is no escaping, so Kara gives in immediately and without a sigh. "Carter needed something for a school project and didn't want to tell you."
"Why on earth wouldn't he want to tell me about a school project?" Cat asks with a puzzled look, no longer glaring.
"Miss Grant, he told me why, and I have to agree with him that you're really better off not knowing" Kara tries, hoping that mentioning she's following Carter's lead on this will be enough to protect her job. The pointed glance sent her way gives no immediate answer, but at least it isn't an instant dismissal. And before Cat can presumably make up her mind, Carter is running back up to them, Kara's phone in his outstretched hand.
"Here you go" is all he says, throwing a wink at Kara that makes her realize he really isn't very good at hiding things. She wonders if he doesn't feel the need around his mother, if he's so unused to showing emotions in public that he has no real practice hiding them when he feels safe.
"Now then Kiera, are you ready to be a functioning adult for the night, or will I be ordering two children's plates at dinner?" The question is as pointed as the stare had been, but Kara recognizes it now. Cat Grant is pretending to be fooled by her son's act, is putting on one of her own to avoid disappointing him.
And so Kara draws on her own acting abilities, every bit of the skill she's worked so hard to hone over the years of pretending to be human. "Sorry, Miss Grant. It won't happen again."
"Yes, see that it doesn't. Now come on, we don't want to be late for our reservations tonight." And now Kara freezes again, she hadn't thought about dinner, about finding out where Cat had made reservations and adjusting them to accommodate her presence. Cat has always handled the planning for her nights with Carter, but Kara really should have thought ahead once she was invited. It's literally what she's paid to do, even if the events of tonight aren't within her job description. "Oh relax Kiera, I already called and adjusted the initial reservation, and guests don't pay when Carter invites them. Now quit frowning, you'll get wrinkles." Cat says when she sees the look on Kara's face.
"You'll love this place" Carter says as they climb into the car, Kara settled uncomfortably in the middle. She's pretty sure this should be his seat, that he should be next to his mother, but she's learned long ago not to argue with a Grant when they decide they want something. So when Carter had held the door open for her, she'd slid inside without comment, trying not to seem as awkward as she feels at the close proximity to her boss. The emotions from earlier are back full force, every one of Kara's senses, no matter how she tries to dull them, are very much aware of the woman next to her. She can't help it, can't seem to turn it off. So instead she focuses on Carter as he continues chattering, ignoring the feeling of warmth on her side that comes from how near Cat is to her side. Or at least trying to.
Dinner is easier, the round table giving Kara a bit of needed distance to regain her footing. It's enough to let her join in the conversation, almost surprised at how easy it is to have a casual discussion with her boss. Sure they've talked before, but it's mostly been Cat mentoring her, sharing anecdotes as she does. It's never been this open. And a good part of that is Carter, the boy somehow providing a balance between the two of them, but it's also a natural step forward from those past conversations. They've learned to talk to each other over the years; this is just moving that comfort beyond a work setting. And it somehow feels right.
As the conversation continues to flow, Kara can't help the surge of emotions in her chest, the desire to have more of these conversations, to have more of these two in her life. She knows it's too much, that this is likely a one-time opportunity and she should take what she can get, that she'll need to work on forgetting it tomorrow. But for tonight, for this one night of smiles and happiness, she lets herself dream. Kara lets herself want, and knows she'll never be able to forget.
All too soon dinner is over, and Kara finds herself once again between the two Grants, this time much more relaxed about the entire situation. The dinner had put her at ease, her decision to just go with it for this one night had lowered her defenses. It's easier to settle into the seat now, easier to accept the warmth of Cat beside her, to drink it in without wishing for more. Not that she doesn't want more, wouldn't love an arm around her shoulders or a hand in her own, but she's content with this. Content to be allowed into this space, into this world. Just for tonight, she can be a part of it.
There's little conversation now as they drive through residential areas that are a few steps below any of Cat's properties, but still so far above Kara's apartment that she can't quite get her head around them. Because Cat's homes are elegant in their relative simplicity, letting taste tell the story of the money behind them, but these houses shout it to the world. Compared to Cat they're almost gaudy, and Kara feels almost uncomfortable looking at them, at the blatant attempts to portray power. The same power that Cat wraps around herself effortlessly, with no need for over the top displays. No one can compare to Cat Grant, but Kara finds herself judging these houses, just a little, for failing so spectacularly to match up.
But the houses aren't why they've come, not really, and so Kara pushes their failings out of her mind to focus on the beauty of the lights adorning them. And Carter had been right; the driver did know exactly which houses and neighborhoods to visit, because despite the overwhelming grandeur of the buildings themselves, the lights are tastefully done, beautiful in their relative simplicity.
All except one very notable exception.
It's the house Carter had been so excited to see, and as they pull up Kara can see why. She's seen musical light shows before, but this house puts them all to shame. The lights are so closely timed that they form pictures, images moving across the front of the house as if the entire thing is a giant TV screen. And this year at least, the images are all of Supergirl.
It makes Kara blush, grateful for the darkness inside the car that will help hide the reaction. Both Grants are too perceptive for it to slip by them if they were to notice, but in the dark Kara might have a chance.
"Well, they got the heroics down, that's for sure" Cat says lightly as they watch the image of Supergirl fly into the air, defying gravity with a posture that screams victory. "But I don't know about the cape. It's a little rough."
"Mom, this is awesome" Carter says with a roll of his eyes, obviously used to the critiques. "Who cares if they got the cape a little wrong, do you know how much programming this had to take?"
"Mm, no dear, I don't" Cat admits easily, leaning closer into Kara's side to better see out Carter's window, and Kara feels her heart skip a beat. "Writing I can do, managing a company I can do, but this? This I pay people to do."
"Well I think it's impressive, don't you Kara?" the boy asks, not tearing his eyes away from the images as he does. "I never really got to see her fly, but I bet it's ten times cooler than this." He sounds so honestly impressed, so taken with the thought of Supergirl flying through the sky, that Kara has to physically bite her tongue to keep from saying something that will undoubtedly out herself to both Carter and his mother.
"Well, Carter is undeniably taken with the display, and I am mildly impressed but think it needs work, so I suppose you're our tie breaker for the night Kiera. What do you think; did they get the cape right?" There's a challenge to Cat's voice, one that brings an edge of panic to Kara's thoughts, because she can't figure out what challenge her boss is throwing at her. Is it a challenge about her identity wrapped up in a knowing smirk, or is it about taking a risk and potentially disagreeing with her boss?
"I think that they did remarkably well for such a limiting medium" is what Kara ends up saying, hoping to avoid taking sides or giving herself away. And she can't help noticing the look Cat sends her as she neatly dodges the issue, disagreeing with neither as she also avoids agreeing. It's almost a look of pride, but there's something more to it that Kara can't place, and she's not used to that. She knows all of Cat's looks, all of her gestures. She's taken the time to learn them over the years, her ability to take everything in at superspeed helping her so that now with a single glance she can take in an immense amount of detail, able to instantly know what Cat needs without needing to be told.
But this look, this look is new. And Kara wants to believe it's desire, but she's already let herself dream so much tonight, she can't add that one to the list. She can't let herself hope that this woman, her boss, will ever return her feelings. So she just smiles carefully in return, trying to draw on those acting skills she'd used earlier, hoping that Cat won't see right through her.
Things are almost subdued after they leave that house, but it's not uncomfortable at all. They're all three quiet, lost in their own thoughts, but content in the presence of the others. It's not until they pull up at Cat's house that Kara realizes no one told the driver to drop her off, and wonders whether it was simple forgetfulness or something more.
"I thought that after a night of being Carter's guest, you might be willing to be mine for a few hours" Cat says when she notices Kara's questioning look, and Kara is powerless to refuse. Just for this one night, she'll take what she can get. "You might need to help me get him upstairs though, by the looks of it."
And Kara knows she will as soon as she turns to look, a soft smile on her face as she sees him asleep against the window. And even though it's a minor risk, knowing that easily carrying a teenage boy should be beyond her strength, she can't bring herself to wake him. No, she'll just pretend it's more of a physical strain than it could ever be. It's not like he's all that big, and Kara has mentioned working out, so as long as it doesn't seem effortless, surely she can get away with this.
"Do not drop my son" is all Cat says as Kara lifts him carefully, trying to avoid jostling him. The frown of concentration on her face is close enough to be read as physical effort, and as long as Kara slows down, her act seems to be holding.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Miss Grant" Kara says honestly, her look of concentration slipping into a smile for a moment as she looks down at the boy, still so young and innocent. And she knows why she's so drawn to him, knows why she's so unable to deny him anything. He's the same age as she had been when she landed here, and almost as much of an outsider as she had been. And just as Alex had stepped up to protect her, Kara can do nothing less for him. She recognizes herself in the boy, and will do anything to keep that innocence on his face, the innocence she had lost.
"His bedroom is right through here" Cat says with a smile of her own once they're inside, turning to take in the sight of the two of them, and Kara has to fight to avoid floating when the swooping sensation from earlier makes itself known once more. She doesn't know if the older woman suspects her secret or not, but that wouldn't make it any less of a mistake to reveal herself right now.
Kara is once again glad for the darkness when she takes in the sight of the large Supergirl poster on Carter's wall, knowing her blushes now are even deeper than they had been in the car, because this is personal, this is a boy she knows and cares for, not a stranger she's never met.
"I know you're not my assistant right now Kiera, but while I get him changed, do you mind pouring us some wine? I won't be long, and then we can talk." And oh, Kara should not agree to this, to spending time alone with her boss when she's feeling like this. Especially not when the woman is using that tone, the one that sets warning bells off in Kara's mind. She has no idea what Cat wants to talk about, no idea whether it will be disastrous for her, but she can't refuse.
"Of course, Miss Grant" she says, rather than making an excuse to leave and avoid any potentially dangerous conversations. And she knows she should, knows she should find some excuse, any reason to leave. She's far too emotionally unbalanced to safely have any kind of conversation.
But of course Cat finds her five minutes later with two glasses of wine, waiting patiently in the kitchen. She can't walk away from Cat any more than she could walk away from Carter, and that's the moment Kara realizes that she's well and truly lost.
"I wanted to say thank you, for agreeing to spend time with Carter tonight" Cat starts when they've settled onto the couch. "It means a lot to him, I can tell he enjoys spending time with you. That's not something that comes easily to him, and I appreciate that you seem to recognize that."
"It was no trouble at all Miss Grant, I was happy to spend the evening with you both." It's more than Kara had intended to say, she's definitely not starting this conversation off on the right foot, but it was the truth and so she hopes she isn't going to regret it.
"Yes, well I do have to admit that you aren't horrible company outside of work, and it was nice to have an adult conversation that had nothing to do with some kind of power play or looming scandal." It's as much as Kara is likely to get from the older woman, but long practice unpicking Cat's meaning means Kara knows exactly what the other woman is trying to say. She just doesn't know in what way she means it. "Tell me something though, Kiera. Did you agree to tonight just for Carter's sake?"
And of course Cat would cut straight to the chase, rather than drawing things out and giving Kara a chance to hide. She almost wishes the woman were quizzing her about Supergirl instead, because suddenly that seems a lot less dangerous territory to explore. But Cat is staring pointedly, waiting for an answer, and Kara can't refuse her. Couldn't if she tried, and she doesn't want to try. She might end up flaming out spectacularly, but she can't help taking this moment, this one chance.
"No, Miss Grant, not just for Carter. I'm grateful you're willing to allow me to spend time with him, and I never want to disappoint him, but I wanted to spend time with both of you tonight." It's nothing less than the truth, but Kara still feels a flush of embarrassment at speaking so openly. The words are confident, but Kara isn't. She's waiting for the rejection that is sure to come any second now, looking down into her wine glass to avoid seeing the look on Cat's face when the woman realizes what Kara is saying. Because Cat is a genius at finding the hidden meanings, and this would be so much easier if Kara could lie to her, because this woman could so easily break her.
"So then, if I were to ask you to spend an evening with me, perhaps while Carter is with his father, is that something you would be okay with?" Kara's eyes snap up at the hesitation hidden in Cat's tone, the hesitation mixed with hope and something else Kara can't put her finger on. "You really were excellent company tonight, better company than I've had in years. And as much as I would love to be able to push that fact out of my mind, your kicked puppy look makes that impossible."
"Miss Grant, I- I don't..." And Kara doesn't know what to say, can't settle the swirling emotions within her. Because she wants to say yes, she desperately wants to say yes, but there's a part of her that almost needs to hold back. To protect this woman from the stress of being too close to her, because with that level of connection Kara will be able to hold nothing back.
"There is no pressure here, no expectation. I had a wonderful evening, and I am human enough to want more of them, more of you. It might be better if I were strong enough to push that away, but I'm afraid that would mean pushing you away, and while I can be very good at that, this time I don't want to be. But it is entirely up to you, and I promise your decision will have no effect on your job." Now the only thing in Cat's voice is honesty, and how could Kara not respond to that?
"I don't want you to push me away" is the only answer she gives, the only answer she can give. There will be more to figure out, she knows there will be questions, and reveals, and very likely fights, but she isn't strong enough to pull back either.
And with that statement, Kara feels herself almost magnetically pulled closer to Cat, setting her untouched wine on the table in front of them, hesitating just a second before pressing a single kiss to Cat's mouth. It's all she allows herself tonight, but it's a promise of more, one Kara fully intends to deliver on.