A/N: One shot based off of recent events, enjoy! (I also don't own any of the characters obviously)


Banana Hammock


AJ's eyes slowly opened and she was greeted by the concerned face of her husband who was watching her carefully.

"Hey." His voice was soft and filled with exhaustion.

She looked around and realized she was in the dentist office having her wisdom tooth removed. She also felt light as a feather and her confused face turned into a happy one.

"Hi." she muffled out with the gauze still in her mouth.

"How are you feeling April?" Sam, their dentist, asked her and she gave him a thumbs off.

"Ready to have my teeth out." She told him and he smirked.

"It's already done." Punk smirked.

"No!" She gasped.

"Yes." He chuckled. "Don't you feel the gauze in your mouth?" he asked and she placed her fingers in her mouth and felt the gauze but Punk quickly pulled her fingers out. "Don't mess with it Ape." he instructed. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I feel swell." She grinned and smiled at him which freaked him out a bit since her mouth was stuffed with gauze and bloody. "I love you."

"I love you too." he said to her as he put his phone in his pocket.

"You should wear banana hammock's more." She said to him and the dentist looked over as Punk just shrugged at him and looked at AJ. "He looks really good in one." she said looking at the dentist who was a long time friend of Punk's.

"I don't wear those Ape." Punk chuckled nervously and she nodded and he shook his head 'no'.

"You used to wear them all of the time because you had to tan properly and you wear them when we go tanning." She reminded him.

"It's obviously the nitrous." Punk laughed looking towards the dentist.

"Right." The dentist snorted.

"You know what you look better in?" She asked him. "Nothing." and reached her hand over to his jeans and he shot up out of his seat.

"Now, now Ape." he laughed pushing her hands away.

"It's so true." She grinned rolling her head against the chair and looking at him. "Put on a banana hammock."

"Ape." he warned trying not to laugh.

"In Hawaii-" She began.

"Alright Ape enough story time." Punk urged.

"Give her a few more minutes to wake up then you can attempt to get her out of here." The Dentist told him.

"Thanks." Punk said to him and the dentist left them alone in the office.

"I'm so glad you're here for me during this trying time." AJ said grabbing his hand and he laughed.

"Yes I'm sure this has been mentally exhausting for you today and there's no where else I'd rather be." Punk teased.

"It is exhausting." She sighed dramatically and he gave her a genuine smile and she looked at him again. "You're my best friend." she said poking his nose.

"You're mine too." He said to her and she frowned. "What?"

"I'm sorry." She said sadly and almost cried.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked.

"You and Colt-" she started.

"I told you to stop worrying about that." He reminded her.

"He hates me and now you two aren't friends anymore." She cried.

"That's not true it has nothing to do with you." He reasoned.

"You told me you'd make up but you blocked him on Twitter." She wept.

"I didn't block him." He smiled trying to make her feel better. "Just unfollowed."

"It's all because of me." She cried.

"It really has nothing to do with you." He again assured her.

"Colt, Marty-" She trailed off.

"Ape it's ok." He assured her.

"You're so sad now." She frowned as he tried to clean her tears off of her face.

"I'm not sad. I'm angry and not at you." He reminded her. "It's just complicated right now. We grew apart."

"Because of me." She cried out again and he had to laugh.

"No Ape, because I'm hardly here and the lawsuit hasn't helped much." He explained to her. "It's not about you I promise. If it was about you I would have cut ties with him a long time ago."

"But he's your best friend, best man at our wedding." She pointed out in the saddest voice he had ever heard.

"Him and Marty are going in one direction with their lives and I'm going in another with you. People grow apart." He pointed out and her eyes widened in horror.

"We're going to grow apart?" She asked terrified and he smirked.

"No we grow together." He reminded her cutely. "You're the one constant in my life. You've never turned your back on me, you never tried to make money off of me, you've supported me with absolutely everything, you took care of me when I was hurt-" He stopped talking and saw he had her full attention.
"You're not going to remember any of this are you?"

"No." She said to him.

"I really just want to get the hell out of town and back to Milwaukee." He said to her and she tried to smile. "I need to put all of those WWE crap behind me and focus on the future."

"Yes." She nodded firmly then pouted.

"Your mouth hurts?" he asked and she nodded sadly.

"Wear a banana hammock." She said as he helped her out of the chair. "That would help my mouth."

"Oh yea?" he laughed.

"Yes." She said firmly as he kept a grip on her elbow. "You look so sexy in one." She said falling forward into his chest and looking up at him. "Reminds me of when you used to wrestle."

"Yea?" he asked mildly intrigued. "You thought I was sexy when I wrestled?"

"Yes!" She yelled and he laughed. "I used to watch backstage all of the time."

"I'm aware." he smirked. "You always had a hard time keeping your hands off of me."

"Did you think I was pretty?" She asked batting her eyelashes at him.

"You were alright." He said seriously and she looked ready to cry. "I'm kidding! You were so beautiful and you get more beautiful everyday."

"Even now?" She asked as her cheeks were swollen and with hope in her eyes.

"Especially now." He assured her. "Let's get you home." he said grabbing her bag for her.

"Will you wear it when we get home?" She asked him hopefully.

"The minute your mouth is all healed up I promise you that I'll wear anything you want." He smirked and her eyes lit up.

"You are the best." She said to him as he helped her out of the office.


Pulling into the driveway of his home Punk got out of the car first and walked over to the passanger side to help AJ out who was proving to be very difficult.

"It took me ten minutes to get the seat belt on you and now I can't get you out of it." Punk groaned.

"I just want to sleep." She said slapping his hands away as he tried to get her out of the car. "Not now Phil I'm tired."

"That sounds unbelievably familiar." He mumbled under his breath. "I'll get you to bed just help me out."

"What if there are zombies out there?" She asked terrified.

"I'd kill them." He shrugged pushing her hands away that were blocking belt.

"What if they kill you first?" She asked sadly.

"Then I'm a zombie and I'll make you a zombie and we can be zombie's together." he replied coolly.

"Here I have weapons in here." She said throwing her purse into his chest causing her so spill everything and he groaned.

"Weapons?" He asked her. "What the hell are you carrying?"

"Zombie spray, zombie knife." she told him.

"No it's mace and a pocket knife." He said kneeling down to put everything back into her bag and she jumped out of the car. "Ape don't." He warned.

"It's Colt!" She cheered waving her arms.

Punk looked over and saw his former friends with his headphones in going for a run which happened often since he only lived two blocks over.

"Hey over here!" she cheered but Punk grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. "Hey!" she scolded as he hurried her into the garage and entered the house that way. "He didn't wave back." She said sadly as she dangled over his back.

"I imagine he wouldn't." He said bringing her inside and she screamed.

"Zombie!" She yelled and pointed.

"That's Larry." He scoffed carrying her all the way up the stairs with their dog following.

"He looks like he's a zombie now." She said as he placed her onto the bed.

"He always looks like that." Punk reminded her as Larry jumped on their bed and he grabbed Larry. "No let mommy rest." He said putting the dog on the floor as he growled.

"Zombie dog." She whispered terrified.

"No, wolf dog." he corrected amused and grabbed Larry again as he jumped on the bed.

"Are you going outside to play with Colt?" she asked him.

"No I'm going to walk Larry." He said to her.

"I need to get changed." She sighed with a frown. "I'm hot."

"Larry could wait." he grinned putting the dog down.

"What if while you're out the zombies come in to get me?" She asked him as he helped her out of her shirt and put on one of his big loose ones over her.

"You can fend them off." He said to her.

"I'm so weak." She sighed falling back into the bed and he helped her into sweatpants. "They're going to take me and make me their zombie queen."

"Awesome." Punk grinned. "That would make me zombie king by default."

"No they'd kill you and keep me for themselves." she warned him.

"Smart zombies." Punk said to her as he pulled the blankets up over her. "But they wouldn't be able to kill me to keep me from you."

"You're so sweet." She smiled. "It's why I love you."

"I thought you loved me because of the way I looked in a speedo?" He asked and her eyes lit up.

"Put one on." She encouraged sitting up but he eased her back down.

"I have to walk Larry." He reminded her.

"Walk Larry in one." She encouraged. "The zombies will think you're one of them."

"Good point." He said to her. "I'll tell you what, in a few days when you're feeling better I'll put one on and take you in the hot tub and you can thank me by not wearing anything."

"Ok." She said and noticed he had his phone out.

"Do you promise?" he asked and she nodded. "Good." He smiled stopping the recording. "I just wanted to film you agreeing to this in case you forget. Insurance policy, I'm sure you understand."

"I understand." she said to him. "Thank you for saving me from the zombies."

"You're welcome." He smirked grabbing Larry again.

"You're a great friend." She said to him and he frowned.

"Really?" He asked and she nodded.

"You're the best." She told him then rolled onto her side leaving him with a faint smile which was what he needed. "Don't forget to leave my zombie weapons." She reminded him.

"I've actually decided to not leave you with any sharp knives or mace." He informed her and her head shot up. "I'll be five minutes I swear I'm just going two blocks over."

"To play with Colt?" She asked.

"Sure." he said and looked Larry. "Piss right on his car." He instructed the dog.

"Hurry back." She encouraged and grabbed her phone and typed away.

"No, no babe." He laughed taking her phone. "We don't want you tweeting."

"They said I need to tweet more." She reminded him.

"Tweet tomorrow, rest today." He said slipping her phone into his pocket and kissed the top of her head.

"Too late." She said and he cringed.

"Let's make this fast." He said to Larry.