Dick looked so delicate as he laid there with his favourite dark blue covers wrapped around him. Roy's didn't really have a favourite cover set. What he loved most about his bed was the fact Dick would be sleeping with him. Dick always slept the same way, Roy noticed. On his right side with an arm outside of the covers and his other either underneath his pillow or next to his face (convenient, Roy was always the big spoon and the position Dick slept in was handy for snuggling). It was almost like Dick wasn't there at all and this was just a dream. A dream where all Roy did was watch Dick sleep. Creepy, yes, but the man was so beautiful Roy couldn't help it. Dick breathed softly through his nose, not snoring once. Roy noted that Dick only snored when he was especially tired after a really long day. Dick had snored all week but not today. The younger man's eyes had stopped flinching behind his eyelids a week or so ago. It was hard to tell if he dreaming or not. A dream.
That's what Roy wished this was. It's what Roy had wished for the past six months.
The former Archer stood in the doorway to their bedroom, leaning his body on the door frame. A wide collection of thoughts had run through his head, especially today. A number of specific things like, for example; when the acrobat had finally found the courage to tell his life partner that the benign tumour's in his brain had become malignant and no longer treatable, let alone curable.
As one would, Roy didn't believe his boyfriend at first. What a sick joke, why would you even tell it? But the look on Dick's face that night was not of a man who was just 'messing around'. To Dick, death was no joking matter. He explained carefully that a year ago, when he and Roy were in the 'broken up' stage, he had gone to the hospital for a routine check up (mainly to keep the noses of the paparazzi out of his business) and after receiving a full body scan he was then taken to have an MRI of his brain. Dick had suspected something but chose not to question it at the time. He was kept in over night only to be told the next day that he had two brain tumour's in a very hard to reach area of his brain. Dick didn't quite know what to make of it. Cancer? Me? He was taken into theatre where they could only take a small sample of the tumour's. Results came back seven hours later and the tumor's in his brain were benign, not cancerous. Removing the mass' could cause major brain damage. Dick had his hair cut short and styled once his hair quickly grew back, that way it could all grow back at the same time and it would be unnoticeable. He stayed away from his family and friends for a few weeks to be extra sure they wouldn't know something was up because, like the Doctors had told him then, nothing was up. Dick then explained that when he went back for another check up after being sick for a couple of weeks, miraculously hiding it from Roy and his family. Failing missions and patrols, forgetting important dates and names, tiredness (and more than usual) and raging head aches. The same surgeon's took another sample of the tumour's. Tumour progression. They had become cancerous.
Roy remembered taking a few steps back and glaring at the shorter man once he'd been given the explanation. Roy remembered yelling at him and it was only when Dick was backed up against the wall did Roy realise who was the one really hurting was from all this. Of course Dick had wanted to tell him earlier but why worry a relative over a non-cancerous tumor? It wouldn't be doing anyone any favours. They would have treated him differently and probably not even realise it whilst it was happening.
Dick shifted in his sleep, frowning some as his eyelids slid open. His eyelids felt heavy and he didn't want to wake up. Those beautiful blue sparkling ocean-like eyes were probably one of the things Roy would miss the most. Richard blinked his eyes into focus a few times and smiled softly as he looked at Roy.
"Hi..." Dick said, his tone barely above a whisper. Roy smiled and walked over to the side of his bed. Roy leaned down and placed a hand on Dick's neck, rubbing his thumb over Dick's check and jaw.
"Hey baby.." he smiled softly and kissed his lips. Dick hadn't moved in hours. God knows what he was feeling right now. If he could, Roy would trade places with Dick and take the burden for him.
Dick tried his hardest to reach out his hand to Roy but he couldn't. Roy could see this so he reached forward for him and held his hand. Dick's tired eyes were the only thing that told Roy what was going to happen soon.
Roy smiled sadly, his eyes brimming with tears. He nodded and before climbing into bed with him he silenced the heart monitor. Roy moved close and hugged Dick's body to his own, wanting to make Dick feel like it was night-time and they were going to sleep. Although Dick knew that it was helping Roy more than it was helping him. Dick had always accepted his death, never been afraid of dying but always afraid of what he would leave behind once he was gone.
Roy laid with his lover for the next few hours, talking about all their past times and reminding Dick of all the best things and the worst things they had pulled through. Roy swore he could feel Dick squeezing his hand now and then but he wasn't sure if it was just his subconscious wishing Dick would or if he actually was.
Dick could also tell that with every word he spoke more tears silently fell. It then reached a point where Dick couldn't tell anything any more and Roy was just hugging him, feeling his heart beat race up and down and then back up and back down.
Roy closed his eyes tightly as he felt Dick's body completely relax. It was like Dick really was asleep now. His breathing was much more slower now but Roy could hear him still, barely. Roy sucked in his bottom lip and bit down on it as Dick breathed his last breathe. He was so still, so relaxed. That's when Roy knew he had gone.
Dick was gone.
At the back of the room; Bruce, Jason, Tim and Damian were all watching. Damian thought of how at peace Dick looked. Tim's body shook violently as he held back everything and he fled the room to let it all go, soon after followed by Jason.
Damian knew he would never hear Richard's annoying voice any more, he knew he wouldn't be lectured on going to school and making friends and actually being nice to those friends and he knew that Richard would tell him that crying was something everyone had to do and that sometimes it's the only thing that helps. And that's why he was crying now. Bruce wasn't. He'd never let his children see him at that weak point. In fact, Dick was the only one who had seen him at that point. Bruce led Damian out and the youngest joined his brothers in the living room. Bruce left the room to make some calls and arrange some things. Or that's what he said he was doing.
The entire time, Roy was still clinging to his lover. The only man in the world that had made him so happy. The only man in the world he could truly trust. The only man in the world who loved him for who he was and wouldn't accept anything other wise.
The man who had made his life like a dream.