Part I
Proto Dome
A Chrono Trigger Parody by
Joseph Blanchette
"Legendary Frog"
AD 2300
As we join our heroes, Crono (The quiet one), Lucca (The smart one) and Marle (the annoying one), they had just beat the Fonz...errr... I mean, Johnny in a race a across the ruined Hiway in the post apocalyptic city of Guardia. Actually, they lost the fist time, so they had to drive all the way back to the beginning to start over.
Their adventure took them to a small building known as Proto Dome, which holds the Gate that can bring them home...
Lucca - We made it!
Marle - Where are we?
Crono - Proto Dome. Didn't you read the prologue?
Marle - Oh yeah.
Crono - Do you really think the Gate is in this dump?
Lucca - That's what the computer said at Arris Dome.
Marle - The what? *giggle*
Lucca - Computer.
Crono - How do you know it's called a computer. We come from the year 1000.
Lucca - Never mind that now, we need to find that gate!
Marle - *giggle* I'm tired.
Crono - Me too. Let's find a Ethertron.
Lucca - I HATE those things! They're always so cramped.
Marle -Yeah, your always pressed so tightly against the other person.
Crono - I like it!
Lucca - We can rest later. I see a room up ahead.
*Walks to nearby room*
Marle - What's that?
Crono - It's a trash can!
Marle - I LOVE trashcans!
Lucca - Jinkys! It's a robot.
Crono - Oh. Can we still use it as a trashcan?
Lucca - Of course not! Wow, that's amazing! I was never able to create a hominoid robot before!
Crono - What about Gato?
Lucca - Who?
Crono - Big fat purple thing? Sings a stupid yet catchy song and had a extendable punching glove that come out of it's chest?
Marle - It gave me 15 Silver points before I blew it on candy! *giggle*
Lucca - Oh yeah. That doesn't count.
Crono - I see.
Lucca - I need to get it working again.
Marle - Why?
Lucca - Because the Gate is behind that door and it pont open.
Crono - How do you know there is a Gate behind the door.
Lucca - I guess the author forgot the mention that part.
Marle - He should pay attention.
Lucca -This could take awhile.
*Hours pass*
Marle - This place is boring. Let's go back to the year 600 and visit that cool frog guy.
Crono - Oh yeah. What was his name again?
Marle - I forget. Toad or something. What a cool frog guy.
Crono - Yes. Let's go back and meet Toad the frog.
Lucca - All done!
Crono - I don't trust this thing.
Marle - Why? *giggle*
Crono - It might try to kill us.
Lucca - Robots aren't evil, people only program them that way.
Crono - That's my point.
Marle - Just start him up all ready.
Crono - Hold on. I've known Lucca for a long time. She probully wants to start this thing up so she can have some sort of sick relations with it.
Marle - Ohhh, Gross! *giggle*
Lucca - Crono! That's disgusting!
Crono - Oh yeah? That's a odd place for an antenna.
*Lucca presses the "on" button*
*Robot jerks around a bit. After a moment, springs to his feet.*
Robot - I am awake.
Lucca - Cool!
Robot - Rebooting system.
Marle - It's golden plating looks like some sort of gold! *giggle*
Robot - Rebooted. I am R66-Y.
Crono - What does it do?
R66-Y - It is my operation to purge the planet of the destructive ways of the human.
Marle - Let's call it Bobo!
Lucca - What? No! Let's call it Cornelius!
Marle - Bobo!
Lucca - Cornelius!
Marle - BOBO!
Lucca - CORNELIUS!
Crono - Ladies, ladies! Let's call him Robo! It's a cute name that hampers the seriousness the otherwise ass kicking nature of the character.
Robo - My ID is not important. This world shall soon feel the wrath of my deadly, pain causing fists.
Marle - How cute! Let's keep him!
Lucca - He can be a new party member! Quick! Play the fanfare!
Crono - Let's equip his with this robot arm we found in prehistoric times!
Robo - I must acquire your IDs for record purposes before I proceed to end your pitiful and meaningless existence.
Crono - I'm Crono. I was described as the "quiet one" in the intro, but now I can't seem to shut up.
Marle - I'm Marle! Actually, I'm Princess Nadia of Guarida, but that sucked. So now I'm a dumb blonde with a sexy tube top! I made it out of bed sheets!
Robo - Who is the subject with thick, oversized glasses.
Marle - That's Lucca! She fixed you!
Robo - Understood. Lucca, you shall merely be enslaved when my reign of terror ensues.
Lucca - Can you open that door?
Robo - I am not programed to open doors. I am only programed to terminate.
Marle - Oh. That's to bad. You see, we saw a handle, but that required to much effort.
Robo - What lies beyond the door?
Crono - It's a wormhole that leads back home.
Marle - To a village!
Robo - A village? Accessing . People live in villages. There, I shall procedd with mt programing: wipe out the humans ,and take advantage of their women.
Marle - It can be like a picnic! *giggle*
Crono - Giggle one more time and I'll slap you.
Lucca - Hey look! We didn't notice that huge computer console when we came in. It looks like a file archive!
Crono - Isn't that suppose to be in Arris Dome? How did it get here.
Lucca - The Plot Device.
Crono - Oh. Because I find it odd that they have a file archive in a work station.
Marle - How do you know it's work station.
Crono - That's the way it was depicted in the Chrono Trigger Novelization.
Lucca - Huh?
Crono - By Legendary Frog. He wrote a expansive novelization of Chrono Trigger.
Marle - Wow! He sound very talented, and no doubt very cute!
Lucca - Where can we find this?
Crono - See that link at the very top of the page? Just click "Legendary Frog" and there it is!
Marle - I think everybody should read it, and leave comments!
Lucca - Me to! And send money!
Robo - Enough. I shall execute "Operation Fleshburn" in 5, 4, 3, 2.... *steps in a puddle* FIZZLE ............
Crono - ....Anyway, about that computer.
Lucca - Right. Let's see...
Marle - Ohhh! A shiny red button! *press*
Crono - What's that?
Marle - Oh my god! That porcupine is destroying that model town!
Lucca - Let's press that button that says "Day of Lavos" *press*
Malre - Another porcupine!
Crono - I think that's real.
Marle - A real porcupine?
Crono - No, it's really destroying Truce.
Marle - Quick! Change the channel!
Lucca - I don't think that will work.
Marle - What should we do about it?
Crono - Let's go in the Ethertron! I'll be in the middle this time!
Lucca - Well, this is an RPG. I think we should try to stop it.
Crono - I liked my idea better.
Marle - But we only have 100 hit points!
Lucca - Don't worry, we can spend hours leveling up.
Crono - Sounds like fun!
Lucca - I bet if we stop Magus in the year 600, we'll stop Lavos.
Marle - Plot Device again?
Lucca - Yep.
So Crono, Marle, and Lucca reactivated Robo and traveled to the factory. They gave power back to the Dome and entered the Gate. What followed was a journey none of them would forget. Especially Crono, because he died and I bet it really hurt. But they brought him back using some sort of egg or something, so I guess it's okay.
Tune in next time for another episode!
Reader - What new episode?
Legendary Frog - Of the CT Parodies.
Reader - Your gonna do anther one?
LF - I might.
Reader - But this one was mediocre at best.
LF - Really.
Reader - Yeah. I mean, I can't believe you took a 40 minutes of your life to write this. Besides, you can't make fun of Chrono Trigger to much, people will hate you.
LF - But I have a hilarious idea about the guys as the cast of Sinfeild.
Reader - What is it about?
LF - Well, Crono dates a person with big hands, Robo is upset at work, and Frog is that neighbor guy who makes those crazy entrances! Ozzie plays the part of Newman! And there's soup!
Reader - Sounds stupid.
LF - Fine then. I'll just let this conversation linger on so it's not funny anymore.
Reader - To late.
LF - Well. I would be seeing Jurassic Park III right now, but NOOOOOO! My theater is to lazy to have it show on opening day! The bums. Oh well. I'll stop. Then how should I end it? It needs to be awesome... I know!
THE END
By Joseph Blanchette
"Legendary Frog"
mortis765@yahoo.com
7/18/01
PS Oh, and if you really do have a idea for another parody, I might take it into consideration...
-end document-
Proto Dome
A Chrono Trigger Parody by
Joseph Blanchette
"Legendary Frog"
AD 2300
As we join our heroes, Crono (The quiet one), Lucca (The smart one) and Marle (the annoying one), they had just beat the Fonz...errr... I mean, Johnny in a race a across the ruined Hiway in the post apocalyptic city of Guardia. Actually, they lost the fist time, so they had to drive all the way back to the beginning to start over.
Their adventure took them to a small building known as Proto Dome, which holds the Gate that can bring them home...
Lucca - We made it!
Marle - Where are we?
Crono - Proto Dome. Didn't you read the prologue?
Marle - Oh yeah.
Crono - Do you really think the Gate is in this dump?
Lucca - That's what the computer said at Arris Dome.
Marle - The what? *giggle*
Lucca - Computer.
Crono - How do you know it's called a computer. We come from the year 1000.
Lucca - Never mind that now, we need to find that gate!
Marle - *giggle* I'm tired.
Crono - Me too. Let's find a Ethertron.
Lucca - I HATE those things! They're always so cramped.
Marle -Yeah, your always pressed so tightly against the other person.
Crono - I like it!
Lucca - We can rest later. I see a room up ahead.
*Walks to nearby room*
Marle - What's that?
Crono - It's a trash can!
Marle - I LOVE trashcans!
Lucca - Jinkys! It's a robot.
Crono - Oh. Can we still use it as a trashcan?
Lucca - Of course not! Wow, that's amazing! I was never able to create a hominoid robot before!
Crono - What about Gato?
Lucca - Who?
Crono - Big fat purple thing? Sings a stupid yet catchy song and had a extendable punching glove that come out of it's chest?
Marle - It gave me 15 Silver points before I blew it on candy! *giggle*
Lucca - Oh yeah. That doesn't count.
Crono - I see.
Lucca - I need to get it working again.
Marle - Why?
Lucca - Because the Gate is behind that door and it pont open.
Crono - How do you know there is a Gate behind the door.
Lucca - I guess the author forgot the mention that part.
Marle - He should pay attention.
Lucca -This could take awhile.
*Hours pass*
Marle - This place is boring. Let's go back to the year 600 and visit that cool frog guy.
Crono - Oh yeah. What was his name again?
Marle - I forget. Toad or something. What a cool frog guy.
Crono - Yes. Let's go back and meet Toad the frog.
Lucca - All done!
Crono - I don't trust this thing.
Marle - Why? *giggle*
Crono - It might try to kill us.
Lucca - Robots aren't evil, people only program them that way.
Crono - That's my point.
Marle - Just start him up all ready.
Crono - Hold on. I've known Lucca for a long time. She probully wants to start this thing up so she can have some sort of sick relations with it.
Marle - Ohhh, Gross! *giggle*
Lucca - Crono! That's disgusting!
Crono - Oh yeah? That's a odd place for an antenna.
*Lucca presses the "on" button*
*Robot jerks around a bit. After a moment, springs to his feet.*
Robot - I am awake.
Lucca - Cool!
Robot - Rebooting system.
Marle - It's golden plating looks like some sort of gold! *giggle*
Robot - Rebooted. I am R66-Y.
Crono - What does it do?
R66-Y - It is my operation to purge the planet of the destructive ways of the human.
Marle - Let's call it Bobo!
Lucca - What? No! Let's call it Cornelius!
Marle - Bobo!
Lucca - Cornelius!
Marle - BOBO!
Lucca - CORNELIUS!
Crono - Ladies, ladies! Let's call him Robo! It's a cute name that hampers the seriousness the otherwise ass kicking nature of the character.
Robo - My ID is not important. This world shall soon feel the wrath of my deadly, pain causing fists.
Marle - How cute! Let's keep him!
Lucca - He can be a new party member! Quick! Play the fanfare!
Crono - Let's equip his with this robot arm we found in prehistoric times!
Robo - I must acquire your IDs for record purposes before I proceed to end your pitiful and meaningless existence.
Crono - I'm Crono. I was described as the "quiet one" in the intro, but now I can't seem to shut up.
Marle - I'm Marle! Actually, I'm Princess Nadia of Guarida, but that sucked. So now I'm a dumb blonde with a sexy tube top! I made it out of bed sheets!
Robo - Who is the subject with thick, oversized glasses.
Marle - That's Lucca! She fixed you!
Robo - Understood. Lucca, you shall merely be enslaved when my reign of terror ensues.
Lucca - Can you open that door?
Robo - I am not programed to open doors. I am only programed to terminate.
Marle - Oh. That's to bad. You see, we saw a handle, but that required to much effort.
Robo - What lies beyond the door?
Crono - It's a wormhole that leads back home.
Marle - To a village!
Robo - A village? Accessing . People live in villages. There, I shall procedd with mt programing: wipe out the humans ,and take advantage of their women.
Marle - It can be like a picnic! *giggle*
Crono - Giggle one more time and I'll slap you.
Lucca - Hey look! We didn't notice that huge computer console when we came in. It looks like a file archive!
Crono - Isn't that suppose to be in Arris Dome? How did it get here.
Lucca - The Plot Device.
Crono - Oh. Because I find it odd that they have a file archive in a work station.
Marle - How do you know it's work station.
Crono - That's the way it was depicted in the Chrono Trigger Novelization.
Lucca - Huh?
Crono - By Legendary Frog. He wrote a expansive novelization of Chrono Trigger.
Marle - Wow! He sound very talented, and no doubt very cute!
Lucca - Where can we find this?
Crono - See that link at the very top of the page? Just click "Legendary Frog" and there it is!
Marle - I think everybody should read it, and leave comments!
Lucca - Me to! And send money!
Robo - Enough. I shall execute "Operation Fleshburn" in 5, 4, 3, 2.... *steps in a puddle* FIZZLE ............
Crono - ....Anyway, about that computer.
Lucca - Right. Let's see...
Marle - Ohhh! A shiny red button! *press*
Crono - What's that?
Marle - Oh my god! That porcupine is destroying that model town!
Lucca - Let's press that button that says "Day of Lavos" *press*
Malre - Another porcupine!
Crono - I think that's real.
Marle - A real porcupine?
Crono - No, it's really destroying Truce.
Marle - Quick! Change the channel!
Lucca - I don't think that will work.
Marle - What should we do about it?
Crono - Let's go in the Ethertron! I'll be in the middle this time!
Lucca - Well, this is an RPG. I think we should try to stop it.
Crono - I liked my idea better.
Marle - But we only have 100 hit points!
Lucca - Don't worry, we can spend hours leveling up.
Crono - Sounds like fun!
Lucca - I bet if we stop Magus in the year 600, we'll stop Lavos.
Marle - Plot Device again?
Lucca - Yep.
So Crono, Marle, and Lucca reactivated Robo and traveled to the factory. They gave power back to the Dome and entered the Gate. What followed was a journey none of them would forget. Especially Crono, because he died and I bet it really hurt. But they brought him back using some sort of egg or something, so I guess it's okay.
Tune in next time for another episode!
Reader - What new episode?
Legendary Frog - Of the CT Parodies.
Reader - Your gonna do anther one?
LF - I might.
Reader - But this one was mediocre at best.
LF - Really.
Reader - Yeah. I mean, I can't believe you took a 40 minutes of your life to write this. Besides, you can't make fun of Chrono Trigger to much, people will hate you.
LF - But I have a hilarious idea about the guys as the cast of Sinfeild.
Reader - What is it about?
LF - Well, Crono dates a person with big hands, Robo is upset at work, and Frog is that neighbor guy who makes those crazy entrances! Ozzie plays the part of Newman! And there's soup!
Reader - Sounds stupid.
LF - Fine then. I'll just let this conversation linger on so it's not funny anymore.
Reader - To late.
LF - Well. I would be seeing Jurassic Park III right now, but NOOOOOO! My theater is to lazy to have it show on opening day! The bums. Oh well. I'll stop. Then how should I end it? It needs to be awesome... I know!
THE END
By Joseph Blanchette
"Legendary Frog"
mortis765@yahoo.com
7/18/01
PS Oh, and if you really do have a idea for another parody, I might take it into consideration...
-end document-