Thank you and many kudo's go out to my beta reader, celticwords. she made the story flow, she gave it life. where as i was just creating a body she gave this body breath. thank you once again.
All of Hermione's thoughts gravitated towards her. Her presence always skittered to the front of her mind in Hermione's daydreams. She tried everything to not think about her. She tried to forget by throwing herself into studies and taking all of the classes she could manage. None of it had worked. Hermione was still, after all these years, in love with Minerva. But for Hermione she could never really be so informal with her; for she is still a professor…Professor McGonagall.
In only a few hours Hermione would leave her second home, and her love. As she lay in bed with everyone else around her sleeping, she gathered the coward to sneak out once again. She tried to tell herself that she could never remember the number of times she had done this before; but her mind kept a secret count that screamed out a total exceeding a thousand trips in the night. Hermione's thoughts strayed back to the day she knew she loved her professor. It was before the start of her fifth year. Minerva and the rest of the Order were coming and going like busy little bees gathering honey. But the Order never gathered anything as sweet as honey. They collected information on Lord Voldemort.
The night crept slowly. Hermione knew she could lose points for her house if she were caught. But she was compelled to continue. As Hermione approached Minerva's door emotions overwhelmed her with fear, excitement and a sense of loneliness. For no one knew she was out nor did they have any inkling (she thought) about her love. Still she moved closer to the door. She took one final deep breath and knocked.
"Enter," Minerva said, slightly annoyed that someone would disturb her so late. "Miss Granger! What are you doing out of bed?" Minerva looked perplexed. In Hermione's silence it did not take long for Minerva to assume something had to be wrong.
"My dear, what is it? Is someone hurt? Where am I needed?"
"You are only needed here. I am the one who is hurting."
"We must get you to Poppy." Minerva began to fuss over Hermione with her usual care and concern.
Hermione interrupted her, "No, it's not that."
"Well dear, come and sit with me." Minerva directed her to a chair. " Tell me what is the matter."
Minerva's loving gestures caused her to burst out with tears.
"Surely it is not all that bad?" Minerva spoke softly.
"But Professor…it is."
"Come now tell me what is wrong. Would you like some tea? Have a seat dear." Minerva calmly and deftly took Hermione by the shoulders and guided her to the couch. Hermione sat and watched in silence as Minerva made some tea.
Minerva became aware of the time and her weary state before she prodded Hermione. She had hoped the girl, although she could no longer call Hermione a girl, would enlighten her with out prodding. But she had no such luck.
"Hermione, will you not tell me what is going on in your head?" Minerva looked upon her with concern, "or at least tell me why you have come to see meat this hour?"
"I am sorry Professor, I just…I mean..." Hermione faltered over her thoughts as she tried to form the words.
"Starting is always the hardest with anything. But I gather that this is not just about school or exams. Is this a matter closer to the heart?"
Hermione nodded.
"Yes." Minerva smiled with sympathy as she continued, "Loving someone does have its draw backs. It is always hard to talk about, especially when one is so young and has very few female friends with which to confide.
"Why don't we try to discuss something with a little less emotion behind it? Tell me about your newts."
Hermione silently thanked whatever God or Goddess was looking after her that guided Minerva to move the conversation to something else so she didn't have to tell her who was on her mind. Looking into her cup, Hermione said, "I know I failed all of them." with defeat in her voice.
"Oh, I doubt that my dear. You are always over critical of yourself. You do not recognize all of the good and beautiful things about you."
"I'm sorry Professor, but I just don't see it."
"Tell me what you do see."
"….ah…." Hermione looked around with confusion.
"Yes?"
"I see black robes, your tea cup…"
"No, dear, tell me what you see when you look in a mirror."
"I see an overly average female with mousy brown hair that is never going to calm down no matter how much I do to it." Hermione's words flowed from her mind with ease as she thought about how she saw herself.
"That's enough of that." Minerva quickly cut her off. "You are not overly average in the slightest. You have great courage, skill and a brilliant mind."
"I have been told that many times Professor, but I can't see that when I look in the mirror."
"Yes you can. Now, tell me what really is the matter that has brought you to my door at such a late hour?"
This was the moment Hermione had been avoiding… and yet she has wanted this moment for a long time.
"I can no longer ignore my feelings. I have loved one woman since my fifth year."
Minerva was slightly shocked by Hermione's sudden confession; but she tried her best to hide her surprise to keep Hermione from feeling ashamed . She didn't want Hermione to feel awkward or unwanted. She wanted the woman before her to be able to not have tears in her eyes when she returned to her bed this evening. But gods, why did it have to be so late in the year when she came? Why did it have to be now? And on the eve of the students leaving? Why was it always this night? Why was it always the last thing the students left her with? Their sorrow of leaving this place. But this was not about leaving Hogwarts. It was about some witch ignoring Hermione. Why any witch or wizard would ignore Hermione was beyond her.
"Why would any woman ignore you my dear," McGonagall found herself saying.
"It's because she doesn't know I exist. It's not that she is famous…well, in a wayshe is…but not like Hollywood famous. More like Dumbledore famous. Everyone knows him and he knows them back. But he would kindly reject any advance on him because he is like me." Hermione looked down into her lap, "He does not like the opposite sex."
"It's alright Hermione to use the word homosexual. It is not a bad thing in the wizarding world. It is not something that is frowned upon or seen as unnatural…far from it." Minerva tried to soothe Hermione's raw emotions of unrequited love.
When Hermione heard this she threw herself on the other woman and cried more. Minerva held the woman and stroked her back gently until she fell asleep in her arms. She cast leve corpus so as to not disturb the young woman who passed out from emotional exhaustion. Gently, she guided Hermione to her bed so she could sleep well and be rested in the morning.