Sessions – Coffee Talk: Cosmo Quiz
A/N: Second in a series of cafeteria chats in the Sessions Universe… Enjoy!
Cameron flipped through the Cosmo magazine and scanned for the monthly quiz. Cate was blowing on her hot coffee. Cuddy was dunking her tea bag and Thirteen was peeling the wrapper off her diet peach Snapple iced tea.
"Alright, let's see what kind of sluts, you guys really are, " Cameron announced rolling the magazine over itself to the quiz page.
"Excuse me, but I wouldn't go classifying your boss as a slut, Dr. Cameron, " Cuddy clucked her tongue at her placing her tea bag on a pile of napkins.
"Oh, who was it who just said they almost had sex in the men's dressing room at Banana Republic, " Cameron said saucily.
"Uh, that was me, " Cate said sheepishly from behind her paper cup.
"Oh, yeah, " Cameron said, chagrinned. "Sorry cuddy."
"No, they were the ones who actually had sex at the oncology benefit dinner, a month ago, " Thirteen tossed out there.
Cuddy sneered at Thirteen. "And you and Foreman we almost caught by the nightshift custodian on the third floor."
Thirteen smirked. "Almost is the key word."
"God, I don't think we even need to take the quiz, " Cameron said rolling her eyes.
"No, go ahead, they're always fun, " Cate said waving her hand at the magazine.
"Yeah, come on, let see just how slutty we are, " Thirteen said.
"I'm curious, " Cuddy agreed.
Cameron took a deep breath to prepare to read aloud. "Ok ready?" Everyone nodded. "Number one: How often are you game to try new positions? A. Rarely, you prefer the tried and true B. Nightly, you love to switch it up C. Sometimes, but you'd love to do more."
Cuddy said, "C".
Cate answered, "We're a little limited so, C".
Thirteen said, "Not every night but, B".
"I'll go with C, " Cameron said marking off everyone's answers. "Number 2. The biggest thing you focus on while having sex with a new guy is? A. Getting and giving pleasure B. Hoping I don't look flabby C. Making sure I'm pleasing him."
"That one sucks because none of us have body issues, " Cate said. "Go on to the next one."
"Then so does this next one: On a scale of 1-10, how sexy do you feel about your body when knocking boots A. 6 on a so-so night, 8 on a hot one B. 4 at best, thank god for duvet covers and black out shades C. 10 always, 2 for tits, 2 for booty, 1 for tummy."
"I pick C, " Cuddy said with a smirk, "But I give 5 for tits."
Cameron and Cate laughed. Thirteen nodded. "Definite 5." Cuddy preened.
"Ok, moving on, " Cameron said, "Your guy isn't quite hitting your hot buttons, you: A. Gently guide him with your hands exactly where you want him to go B. Stay still and pretend your enjoying yourself, so he's not offended C. Edge your body to the left or right so he might hit the sweet spot."
"None of you better say B, " Cate warned. "A"
"A"
"A"
"Me too, " Cameron agreed tallying the results. "Does your mind ever wander to mundane things during sex? A. Nope, you're always immersed in the body-melding moment B. Occasionally "I'm hungry" or "yoga class tonight" flashes through your brain C. Actually, that's when I've done some of my best thinking."
Cuddy scratched at the back of her head with her finger nail looking away shamefaced. "I have to admit, that the other night the budget report flashed through my mind, I think he knew."
"We've all done that, " Cate said. "It's only a problem when it becomes a habit. The other night he tasted like cookies, because he had like fifty before we went to bed. I was thinking about chocolate chips."
"Cookies don't equate to budget reports, " Cameron objected.
"Cookies are fun, " Thirteen added.
"Robert likes to play with whipped cream, that's fun, " Cameron said with a grin.
"Ok, moving on, " Cuddy pressed.
Cameron cleared her throat. And then blushed. "Do you ever spend solo time pleasuring yourself? A. Damn straight, you also get hands on in front of your man B. Never that's his job C. Sometimes your digits will wander when you're super horny."
"A"
"A"
"A"
"A" She checked of the score. "Next question is stupid, skip… Ok, here we go: Your idea of giving your man a sexy surprise for his birthday is: A. Sporting a whipped cream bra and lustily saying that for each candle he blows out on his cake you'll try a new Cosmo move on him B. Treating him to a sensual massage C. A homemade dinner and a new DVD (hey, they're R rated)…"
"We'll we know your answer already, you're an A, " Thirteen volleyed at Cameron who smiled. "I'm an A."
Cate laughed and covered her face embarrassedly. "C. I know its lame, but we're take out and TiVo people."
Cuddy sipped her tea, "B. Nothing beats a sensual massage in a sexy nightie."
"We've done that too, " Cate added. "Can I get points for both?"
"I think we've all done that, " Cameron said and Thirteen nodded. "I'm giving all of us all of the points." She tallied the extra points. "Ok, next: Do you ever initiate sex?" She laughed at the choices. "A. So often your nickname is Randy. B. Nah, you always wait for him to roll on top of you to start the action C. Once in a while but the majority of the time he pounces first. I used to be a Randy but then I moved to the ER, so now I'm a C. Too tired."
"Call me Randy, " Cuddy said with a girlish smile. The three women gawked at her. "I may think about budget reports, but I can't get enough if him!"
"We're both named Randy, " Thirteen said with a grin. "It's 50/50."
"It depends, he's always game, but I also can't get enough of him, " Cate smiled. "I'll go with C. No, wait, A."
The group laughed. Cameron added the new score. "Ok, last question… What kind of sounds do you typically make in bed? A. You stay quiet, the occasional sigh lets him know you're not asleep B. Depends on the dude, if your comfortable with him you may let loose C. You're always ooo-ahh vocal."
Thirteen considered this one for a moment. "I'm a groaner, but never very loud. He says I purr like a kitten."
Cuddy grimaced. "I'm a B. But James is the right dude."
Cate laughed and blushed. "My neighbor cornered me in the entry hall and asked me if I was ok the other morning. She said she was concerned because she heard me screaming."
"We'll that's a C, " Cuddy said.
"Oh girl's got her groove on, " Thirteen admired.
"Well, no one's ever asked after my welfare, but I can get pretty loud, " Cameron said. "So I'm a C." She totaled the scores.
"She really asked you if you were ok?" Cuddy asked her.
Cate grimaced. "Yeah, it was a really good night."
"I'll say, " Thirteen said.
"Ok, girls, it's official, we are all sluts, " Cameron said. "Thirteen came in first with a 43, I'm next, go figure, with a 39…"
"It was the whipped cream bra that tipped the scales, " Cuddy said.
"You and Cate tied with a 35 each, " Cameron said.
Cuddy shook her head. "I don't know whether that's creepy or not. Two best friends?"
Cate shook her finger at Cuddy. "They are so completely opposite. They are nothing alike."
"Maybe their differences make them similar, " Cameron offered.
"That makes no sense, " Thirteen scoffed.
Cameron rolled her eyes, "Hear me out, what makes them opposite balances the other out. So it would stand to reason that the women that they chose also balance them out therefore making their women similar as well."
Cuddy shrugged. "House is a maniac, Cate has way more patience than I ever did with him."
Cate nodded. "It's true. I'm more patient with him than Wilson is, as well."
"You're the only one who can tolerate him, " Thirteen said. "Wilson, however, is not a maniac. Not my type, but apparently a fabulous lover."
Cuddy blushed. "Incredible."
"It appears that we're all lucky girls, " Cameron said.
"Lucky, lucky and a little bit slutty too, " Cate said with a laugh.
"Amen, " Thirteen threw her hands up.