Crash and Burn
**
NoV: Hello, everyone. (smiles nervously)
Oz: Don't be so nervous.
NoV: Where's..um..Spike? I told him to be here.
Oz: Don't count on him coming. He IS Spike, after all. (rolls eyes)
NoV: Oh-kay, then where's Willow?
Oz: Um..I think she said she was gonna stop and get some donuts.
NoV: Yay! I love donuts.
Spike: (comes in and sits down in a giant armchair) Sorry, I'm late.
NoV: (wags her finger in his face) Where have you been?
Spike: (tries to bite the wagging finger) Oh..around..(snuggles into the La- Z-Boy) This is a very comfortable chair. Did you know that?
NoV: Umm...that's actually..heh..not my chair.
Spike: Well, whose is it?
NoV: It belongs to...the squirrel.
Spike: THE squirrel??? (jumps out of the chair and attaches to the ceiling) AAG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAT IN THE SQUIRREL'S CHAIR!! I remember well the traumatic experience well... (prepares to go into a dream sequence)
Oz: Stop! I'm not going to get caught in another of your cooky dream sequences! (whispers to NoV) What's with the squirrel?
NoV: Childhood trauma. I have a pet squirrel who attacked him. Squirrelly. He's such a good housekeep.
Oz: (enlightened) Ah. Now, I have blackmail. Muahaha.
Willow: (comes in and sits in the squirrel-chair with donuts) Hey everybody! What's up?
NoV: I wanna donut.
Willow: (hands her the box) SO, why are we here, now that we're here?
NoV: (stops eating the donut to think about the statement) Um..oh, yes. I'm doing a fanfic with the two of you.
Spike: (clears his throat) Two?
NoV: As in Oz and Willow, duh.
Spike: Then why in the heck am I here?
NoV: MMM..I dunno.
Spike: -.-0
NoV: Anyway, this ficcie is about-
Oz: (sees a book marked "English") English. Not Japanese. Not Thai. Not Swedish. Not Portuguese. Not Romanian! Not Soviet Unionian! ENGLISH.
NoV: ..and, that, ladies and gentlemen, was the spaz-out of the day.
Oz: (bows) Thank-you, thank-you.
NoV: ANYWAY, this ficcie is about Oz and Willow, who are driving along and talking and they get hit head-on by this other car, and-
Spike: (Still on the ceiling) Is the other car driven by a vampire?
NoV: (pictures an insane, laughing vampire driving an eighteen-wheeler) No.
Spike: But, it SHOULD be!!
NoV: But it's NOT!
Spike: (has a Spike-fit) It's SUPPOSED TO!!!
NoV: It'll be stupid!
Spike: It'll be awesome!!
NoV: (sigh) Fine. They're driving along and talking and they get hit head- on by this truck driven by a vampire. Happy?
Spike: Very.
NoV: ANYWAY. So, then they have to survive, but WILL THEY?? Anything else said will give it all away. ^.^
Oz: Can we just get this over with??
NoV: Yes.
**
Oz turned down the radio when Willow asked him a question.
"What'd you say?" he asked, unable to hear her over the radio earlier.
The two of them were driving down the road, taking Willow's car, instead of Oz's van, so Willow got to drive. It was a beautiful Saturday, not a cloud in the sky, unless you counted the very light, stretched-out cottony ones. They had decided to drive down to the beach and spend the day there, together.
"I said what do you think Buffy would like for her birthday," Willow answered, a bit upset that Oz had just turned off her favorite song. "It's in three weeks, you know."
Oz scoffed. "And you're asking ME?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "Just seeking a little advice. I couldn't very well ask Buffy, now could I?"
"Guess not," was the blunt reply.
The red-haired witch turned the radio on again. She stared gloomily at the illuminated screen. Her song had gone off already. She sighed, depressed.
Meanwhile, Oz gazed out the window at the scenery laid out before him. A few trees, a patch of land, then a few more trees, and another patch of land. Boring. He decided to find something more interesting to look out. Willow in her bathing suit top and matching shorts. Both tight. He admired her figure and smiled.
Willow caught his eye and blushed. "What are you looking at?" she questioned, already knowing the answer.
"You, baby. You," he replied, still staring at her.
Willow blushed even harder and buried her face, sans eyes, beneath the steering wheel.
"There's something I need to tell you," Oz said, sitting up a little straighter.
Willow stopped hiding her face and looked at him. "Yes?"
Oz was about to respond when out of the corner of his eye he noticed a swerving motion. Terror crossed his face as he saw the insanely laughing vampire-driven truck.
"Willow look out!!!" he shrieked suddenly.
Willow turned to the truck and cried out in horror. "AAAH! AAAH!! AAAAAAAAHHH!!!" she screamed, turning the wheel. The car skidded off the road.
The vampire drove away, still laughing crazily.
**
NoV: See, I told you it'd be stupid.
Spike: It's only stupid because you intentionally made it so.
NoV: :P Back to the ficcie.
**
Willow's car veered, as she tried to get it under control. Both of them were screaming. Willow was crying.
BAM!
They hit a ditch.
Everything started to happen in slow motion.
The car flipped once. Oz's head slammed against the window. Oh my gods, we're gonna die!! Willow screamed at herself.
The car flipped twice. Willow's head crashed into the steering wheel. The windshield shattered.
The car flipped once more. Both of them were pelted with razor-sharp glass shards. Willow's hands fell free of the steering wheel and slumped in her chair, limply.
The car skewed to a stop, upside-down, the roof caving in under the pressure. Aside from the sound of the engine clicking and smoking, no sound was heard.
**
Willow slowly opened her eyes. Her head was fuzzy, and her memory blurred. She looked at her surroundings: crushed, twisted metal; glass everywhere; the engine was fizzing out; Oz was beside her, seemingly unconscious.
She unclicked her seatbelt and lowered herself to the floor, which, at the moment happened to be the ceiling. She moved an arm toward Oz, but froze suddenly and drew the arm back in upon the sudden searing pain shooting through her midsection. She looked down at her exposed belly and saw that a huge piece of splintering glass was wedged right beside her bellybutton.
With one hand gripping the car console, and the other one clutching the shard of glass, she began to tug at the piece stuck in her. Her mouth hung open, her eyes widened, and immediately she released the glass after feeling the intense pain shoot straight through all of her veins, rocking her bones, and making her grind her teeth together, and shut her eyes quickly.
The glass stayed, for now.
Willow decided to see if she could wake up Oz. He was slumped over, having fallen out of the broken seatbelt that would have previously restrained and left him dangling as Willow had been.
She gently shook him. "Oz, wake up," she beckoned, her own voice surprising her at its hoarseness.
The werewolf groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "W-Willow?" he wondered, pain splitting through his right side.
Willow smiled, relieved that he was oh-kay. "Do you think you'll be all right?" she asked, just to make sure.
"I think so," he responded, moving his hands to cover his glass-pervaded side. He resolved not to let Willow know that he was hurt. Better not to make her worry. Instead, he busied himself with her injuries. "Oh, my gods, Willow, you need to get to a hospital!" He stared at the shard of glass in her midsection.
Willow's eyes brimmed with tears. "No," she said, denying her pain. "I'm fine. We need to get out of here."
The witch looked out the shattered window, hissing in pain when she planted her hand in a pile of broken glass. She gazed up at their predicament and surveyed their position.
"We're too deep in this ditch for anyone to see us," she said, choking back tears. "What if-what if they never find us?"
"Don't worry," Oz reassured her, "that won't happen."
Willow began to freak out. "But what if it does??" she demanded. "Who'll feed my fish??"
Oz felt the sudden urge to fall over backwards at the comment, but denied himself the pleasure.
Willow began to cry, sobs wracking her body frequently. Oz was saddened by her tears and moved closer to comfort her, but a racking pain streaked through him, and instead, he collapsed.
Willow heard the thud of her boyfriend falling, and quickly snapped her head around. She gasped, seeing the glass in his right side for the first time.
"Oh, my gods, Oz! Oz, you're not all right! You're not oh-kay! Why did you lie to me??" she shrieked, holding her head and pulling on strands of her hair. She tore her gaze away. The sight of the blood mangled with glass in Oz's middle torso made her heart ache.
A sudden tremor raced up her spine and Willow had to place a hand over her mouth to resist the urge to throw up after seeing all the blood and twisted metal and glass. She tried once again to yank the glass out of her stomach, and once again cried out in agonizing pain.
Instead she squeezed her eyes shut, gathering her courage and willpower and turned to Oz. She pulled his head into her lap and stroked his hair. "Oz, wake up," she pleaded, "I can't go through this alone."
"You know what?" he asked, not opening his eyes, frightening Willow.
She quickly got over her shock and responded, "What?"
He opened his eyes slightly. "If elevators all went up and didn't have an extra set that went down, the universe would be thrown of course."
Willow raised an eyebrow, thinking he'd lost his sanity. "And why's that?" she wondered, curiously.
"Because what goes up must always come down," he said, strangely.
Willow laughed despite herself. "That's so like you," she said, smiling through the pain.
Oz chuckled a bit and then seethed in pain, holding his side.
"Oz, are you oh-kay?" the red-head asked, worriedly, all the joy and laughter gone from her face.
"Fine," he retorted, "just don't make me laugh. Please."
"I think I may have a bandage in my purse," Willow murmured, reaching around the debris for the bag. She grabbed a cloth-like substance and pulled it free of the rubble. She looked at it in disbelief. It was Buffy's. "I must have taken hers by mistake," she said, unbelievingly. "Maybe she has something in here." Willow began to dig through the black shoulder bag. Revelation spread quickly across her face as she pulled out a small, rectangular object with numbered buttons on it. She would have jumped for joy had she had enough room for it and not had a giant piece of glass in her side. "We're saved!!! It's Buffy's cell phone!! Oz! Isn't that- Oz?"
The werewolf's eyes were closed and he didn't appear to be sleeping.
Willow didn't waste anymore time. She quickly dialed 9-11 and waited no more than half a second.
"Hello? Emergency department?" the other person said, inquisitively. "What is the nature of your emergency?"
Willow suddenly felt the urge to break down and cry everything out to the receptionist, but she knew she had to be strong. For herself. For Oz.
"I-I got in a wreck. Me and my boyfriend," she said, trying to keep her voice stable.'
"How many persons are involved in the accident?"
"Two."
"What is your location?"
Willow thought hard. Where were they again? She had to think for a minute.
"Hello?"
"Yes, um..we're...oh, yes. We're in a ditch on the side of Highway-95 just before exit 119," Willow finally answered.
"A unit is on the way."
Willow hung up the phone. She breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God I snagged Buffy's purse. My phone wasn't in mine, she thought to herself, gladly.
It wasn't long before she heard the sirens of the ambulances.
**
Spike: (sits with his eyes closed)
Oz: (stares at the ceiling)
Willow: (gazes at the floor, bored out of her mind)
(suddenly steam filters into the room as a door opens)
NoV: (Walks in, dressed in a towel) Is the fic over already?
Oz: It's been done for what? An hour now?
NoV: Oops. Sorry. I was doing the Herbal Essences thing.
Minna: -.-0
NoV: So, (snaps an outfit on) tell me what you think, reviewers! But please be kind. This is my first-ever Buffy fic, I just recently became a fan, tho I've watched the show for years. I have probably a hundred Slayers fics, tho..
Spike: Nobody know what you're taking about.
NoV: Yes, they do.
Spike: No. They don't.
NoV: ...yes, they do.
Spike: (rolls his eyes)
Oz: Question: what's with all the Willoz fluff? Lemme guess: you're a Willow-me shipper, right?
NoV: No, I'm actually an Oz-Spike fan-
OZ&SPIKE: EWW!! (back away from each other suddenly)
Spike: (hisses at Oz from a corner, bearing fangs)
Oz: Hey, back off, man! I've got a holy water balloon and I'm not afraid to use it!
NoV: Boys, please. Calm down. I need an idea for my next fic. If anyone has an idea, tell me about it! If you have an idea, and give it to me, I'll give you a kawaii picture of chibi-Oz-wolf. It's so-
Oz: --ugly.
NoV: No, it's-
Spike: --hideous.
NoV: NO!! It's-
Willow: --cute?
NoV: NO!! It's---yes. It's cute. Exactly. Thank-you, Willow.
Willow: Welcome.
NoV: So, gimme your idea. Even if I don't use it, you still get kawaii chibi-Oz-wolf! I will need your e-mail, tho.
Oz: Can we GO now?
NoV: Sure, sure, get outta here. Bye!!
**
NoV: Hello, everyone. (smiles nervously)
Oz: Don't be so nervous.
NoV: Where's..um..Spike? I told him to be here.
Oz: Don't count on him coming. He IS Spike, after all. (rolls eyes)
NoV: Oh-kay, then where's Willow?
Oz: Um..I think she said she was gonna stop and get some donuts.
NoV: Yay! I love donuts.
Spike: (comes in and sits down in a giant armchair) Sorry, I'm late.
NoV: (wags her finger in his face) Where have you been?
Spike: (tries to bite the wagging finger) Oh..around..(snuggles into the La- Z-Boy) This is a very comfortable chair. Did you know that?
NoV: Umm...that's actually..heh..not my chair.
Spike: Well, whose is it?
NoV: It belongs to...the squirrel.
Spike: THE squirrel??? (jumps out of the chair and attaches to the ceiling) AAG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAT IN THE SQUIRREL'S CHAIR!! I remember well the traumatic experience well... (prepares to go into a dream sequence)
Oz: Stop! I'm not going to get caught in another of your cooky dream sequences! (whispers to NoV) What's with the squirrel?
NoV: Childhood trauma. I have a pet squirrel who attacked him. Squirrelly. He's such a good housekeep.
Oz: (enlightened) Ah. Now, I have blackmail. Muahaha.
Willow: (comes in and sits in the squirrel-chair with donuts) Hey everybody! What's up?
NoV: I wanna donut.
Willow: (hands her the box) SO, why are we here, now that we're here?
NoV: (stops eating the donut to think about the statement) Um..oh, yes. I'm doing a fanfic with the two of you.
Spike: (clears his throat) Two?
NoV: As in Oz and Willow, duh.
Spike: Then why in the heck am I here?
NoV: MMM..I dunno.
Spike: -.-0
NoV: Anyway, this ficcie is about-
Oz: (sees a book marked "English") English. Not Japanese. Not Thai. Not Swedish. Not Portuguese. Not Romanian! Not Soviet Unionian! ENGLISH.
NoV: ..and, that, ladies and gentlemen, was the spaz-out of the day.
Oz: (bows) Thank-you, thank-you.
NoV: ANYWAY, this ficcie is about Oz and Willow, who are driving along and talking and they get hit head-on by this other car, and-
Spike: (Still on the ceiling) Is the other car driven by a vampire?
NoV: (pictures an insane, laughing vampire driving an eighteen-wheeler) No.
Spike: But, it SHOULD be!!
NoV: But it's NOT!
Spike: (has a Spike-fit) It's SUPPOSED TO!!!
NoV: It'll be stupid!
Spike: It'll be awesome!!
NoV: (sigh) Fine. They're driving along and talking and they get hit head- on by this truck driven by a vampire. Happy?
Spike: Very.
NoV: ANYWAY. So, then they have to survive, but WILL THEY?? Anything else said will give it all away. ^.^
Oz: Can we just get this over with??
NoV: Yes.
**
Oz turned down the radio when Willow asked him a question.
"What'd you say?" he asked, unable to hear her over the radio earlier.
The two of them were driving down the road, taking Willow's car, instead of Oz's van, so Willow got to drive. It was a beautiful Saturday, not a cloud in the sky, unless you counted the very light, stretched-out cottony ones. They had decided to drive down to the beach and spend the day there, together.
"I said what do you think Buffy would like for her birthday," Willow answered, a bit upset that Oz had just turned off her favorite song. "It's in three weeks, you know."
Oz scoffed. "And you're asking ME?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "Just seeking a little advice. I couldn't very well ask Buffy, now could I?"
"Guess not," was the blunt reply.
The red-haired witch turned the radio on again. She stared gloomily at the illuminated screen. Her song had gone off already. She sighed, depressed.
Meanwhile, Oz gazed out the window at the scenery laid out before him. A few trees, a patch of land, then a few more trees, and another patch of land. Boring. He decided to find something more interesting to look out. Willow in her bathing suit top and matching shorts. Both tight. He admired her figure and smiled.
Willow caught his eye and blushed. "What are you looking at?" she questioned, already knowing the answer.
"You, baby. You," he replied, still staring at her.
Willow blushed even harder and buried her face, sans eyes, beneath the steering wheel.
"There's something I need to tell you," Oz said, sitting up a little straighter.
Willow stopped hiding her face and looked at him. "Yes?"
Oz was about to respond when out of the corner of his eye he noticed a swerving motion. Terror crossed his face as he saw the insanely laughing vampire-driven truck.
"Willow look out!!!" he shrieked suddenly.
Willow turned to the truck and cried out in horror. "AAAH! AAAH!! AAAAAAAAHHH!!!" she screamed, turning the wheel. The car skidded off the road.
The vampire drove away, still laughing crazily.
**
NoV: See, I told you it'd be stupid.
Spike: It's only stupid because you intentionally made it so.
NoV: :P Back to the ficcie.
**
Willow's car veered, as she tried to get it under control. Both of them were screaming. Willow was crying.
BAM!
They hit a ditch.
Everything started to happen in slow motion.
The car flipped once. Oz's head slammed against the window. Oh my gods, we're gonna die!! Willow screamed at herself.
The car flipped twice. Willow's head crashed into the steering wheel. The windshield shattered.
The car flipped once more. Both of them were pelted with razor-sharp glass shards. Willow's hands fell free of the steering wheel and slumped in her chair, limply.
The car skewed to a stop, upside-down, the roof caving in under the pressure. Aside from the sound of the engine clicking and smoking, no sound was heard.
**
Willow slowly opened her eyes. Her head was fuzzy, and her memory blurred. She looked at her surroundings: crushed, twisted metal; glass everywhere; the engine was fizzing out; Oz was beside her, seemingly unconscious.
She unclicked her seatbelt and lowered herself to the floor, which, at the moment happened to be the ceiling. She moved an arm toward Oz, but froze suddenly and drew the arm back in upon the sudden searing pain shooting through her midsection. She looked down at her exposed belly and saw that a huge piece of splintering glass was wedged right beside her bellybutton.
With one hand gripping the car console, and the other one clutching the shard of glass, she began to tug at the piece stuck in her. Her mouth hung open, her eyes widened, and immediately she released the glass after feeling the intense pain shoot straight through all of her veins, rocking her bones, and making her grind her teeth together, and shut her eyes quickly.
The glass stayed, for now.
Willow decided to see if she could wake up Oz. He was slumped over, having fallen out of the broken seatbelt that would have previously restrained and left him dangling as Willow had been.
She gently shook him. "Oz, wake up," she beckoned, her own voice surprising her at its hoarseness.
The werewolf groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "W-Willow?" he wondered, pain splitting through his right side.
Willow smiled, relieved that he was oh-kay. "Do you think you'll be all right?" she asked, just to make sure.
"I think so," he responded, moving his hands to cover his glass-pervaded side. He resolved not to let Willow know that he was hurt. Better not to make her worry. Instead, he busied himself with her injuries. "Oh, my gods, Willow, you need to get to a hospital!" He stared at the shard of glass in her midsection.
Willow's eyes brimmed with tears. "No," she said, denying her pain. "I'm fine. We need to get out of here."
The witch looked out the shattered window, hissing in pain when she planted her hand in a pile of broken glass. She gazed up at their predicament and surveyed their position.
"We're too deep in this ditch for anyone to see us," she said, choking back tears. "What if-what if they never find us?"
"Don't worry," Oz reassured her, "that won't happen."
Willow began to freak out. "But what if it does??" she demanded. "Who'll feed my fish??"
Oz felt the sudden urge to fall over backwards at the comment, but denied himself the pleasure.
Willow began to cry, sobs wracking her body frequently. Oz was saddened by her tears and moved closer to comfort her, but a racking pain streaked through him, and instead, he collapsed.
Willow heard the thud of her boyfriend falling, and quickly snapped her head around. She gasped, seeing the glass in his right side for the first time.
"Oh, my gods, Oz! Oz, you're not all right! You're not oh-kay! Why did you lie to me??" she shrieked, holding her head and pulling on strands of her hair. She tore her gaze away. The sight of the blood mangled with glass in Oz's middle torso made her heart ache.
A sudden tremor raced up her spine and Willow had to place a hand over her mouth to resist the urge to throw up after seeing all the blood and twisted metal and glass. She tried once again to yank the glass out of her stomach, and once again cried out in agonizing pain.
Instead she squeezed her eyes shut, gathering her courage and willpower and turned to Oz. She pulled his head into her lap and stroked his hair. "Oz, wake up," she pleaded, "I can't go through this alone."
"You know what?" he asked, not opening his eyes, frightening Willow.
She quickly got over her shock and responded, "What?"
He opened his eyes slightly. "If elevators all went up and didn't have an extra set that went down, the universe would be thrown of course."
Willow raised an eyebrow, thinking he'd lost his sanity. "And why's that?" she wondered, curiously.
"Because what goes up must always come down," he said, strangely.
Willow laughed despite herself. "That's so like you," she said, smiling through the pain.
Oz chuckled a bit and then seethed in pain, holding his side.
"Oz, are you oh-kay?" the red-head asked, worriedly, all the joy and laughter gone from her face.
"Fine," he retorted, "just don't make me laugh. Please."
"I think I may have a bandage in my purse," Willow murmured, reaching around the debris for the bag. She grabbed a cloth-like substance and pulled it free of the rubble. She looked at it in disbelief. It was Buffy's. "I must have taken hers by mistake," she said, unbelievingly. "Maybe she has something in here." Willow began to dig through the black shoulder bag. Revelation spread quickly across her face as she pulled out a small, rectangular object with numbered buttons on it. She would have jumped for joy had she had enough room for it and not had a giant piece of glass in her side. "We're saved!!! It's Buffy's cell phone!! Oz! Isn't that- Oz?"
The werewolf's eyes were closed and he didn't appear to be sleeping.
Willow didn't waste anymore time. She quickly dialed 9-11 and waited no more than half a second.
"Hello? Emergency department?" the other person said, inquisitively. "What is the nature of your emergency?"
Willow suddenly felt the urge to break down and cry everything out to the receptionist, but she knew she had to be strong. For herself. For Oz.
"I-I got in a wreck. Me and my boyfriend," she said, trying to keep her voice stable.'
"How many persons are involved in the accident?"
"Two."
"What is your location?"
Willow thought hard. Where were they again? She had to think for a minute.
"Hello?"
"Yes, um..we're...oh, yes. We're in a ditch on the side of Highway-95 just before exit 119," Willow finally answered.
"A unit is on the way."
Willow hung up the phone. She breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God I snagged Buffy's purse. My phone wasn't in mine, she thought to herself, gladly.
It wasn't long before she heard the sirens of the ambulances.
**
Spike: (sits with his eyes closed)
Oz: (stares at the ceiling)
Willow: (gazes at the floor, bored out of her mind)
(suddenly steam filters into the room as a door opens)
NoV: (Walks in, dressed in a towel) Is the fic over already?
Oz: It's been done for what? An hour now?
NoV: Oops. Sorry. I was doing the Herbal Essences thing.
Minna: -.-0
NoV: So, (snaps an outfit on) tell me what you think, reviewers! But please be kind. This is my first-ever Buffy fic, I just recently became a fan, tho I've watched the show for years. I have probably a hundred Slayers fics, tho..
Spike: Nobody know what you're taking about.
NoV: Yes, they do.
Spike: No. They don't.
NoV: ...yes, they do.
Spike: (rolls his eyes)
Oz: Question: what's with all the Willoz fluff? Lemme guess: you're a Willow-me shipper, right?
NoV: No, I'm actually an Oz-Spike fan-
OZ&SPIKE: EWW!! (back away from each other suddenly)
Spike: (hisses at Oz from a corner, bearing fangs)
Oz: Hey, back off, man! I've got a holy water balloon and I'm not afraid to use it!
NoV: Boys, please. Calm down. I need an idea for my next fic. If anyone has an idea, tell me about it! If you have an idea, and give it to me, I'll give you a kawaii picture of chibi-Oz-wolf. It's so-
Oz: --ugly.
NoV: No, it's-
Spike: --hideous.
NoV: NO!! It's-
Willow: --cute?
NoV: NO!! It's---yes. It's cute. Exactly. Thank-you, Willow.
Willow: Welcome.
NoV: So, gimme your idea. Even if I don't use it, you still get kawaii chibi-Oz-wolf! I will need your e-mail, tho.
Oz: Can we GO now?
NoV: Sure, sure, get outta here. Bye!!