Chapter 1 Notice

The brunette stood in the doorway of her office looking out onto the ED. Her ED. Today had been a surprisingly quiet one and everyone was working well.

*CRASH*

"Lofty are you ok?" Rita giggled she made her way over to him. "Yeah I'm fine I just tripped over…..over nothing" he said as he glanced behind him to see nothing there. "Come on let's get you up" Rita said still smiling.

That's what caught Connie's attention. That beaming smile that seemed infectious through the ED. A small smile tugged at Connie's lips as she continued to stare at the blonde. Her hair was now long enough to be pulled back into a short low ponytail. There where small wrinkles around her eyes that Connie had never noticed before, and her dimples that became more pronounced as she smiled.

Connie's train of thought was broken when Dixie and Ian rushed through the door with a patient. After recalling all of the man's vitals, and noting it was a stab wound, he was taken through to reuses and Connie called Rita to assist. By the time Rita had finished with her patient and made her way to reuses, Connie had already stemmed the man's abdominal bleed and was now staring at the blonde.

"Where on earth have you been nurse freeman I called you ten minutes ago". Connie spat the words like venom at Rita as she joined her at the patient's side. "I was helping a patient, that is my job after all" Rita said sarcastically as she gave the patient more morphine. Connie's face went red with rage but she didn't let any of it out. Not yet anyway. Once the patient was stable Rita made to leave.

"Miss freeman my office now" Connie whispered with hate as she passed the nurse on the way out of reuses. Rita didn't bother arguing with the clinical lead, just sighed and followed her to her office. By the time she got there Connie was already sat behind her desk, arms folded across her chest. Rita took a deep breath and walked over the threshold into Connie's domain. She didn't say anything just stood in front of Connie's desk with her eyes focused solely on the ground as she fiddled with the sleeve of her long sleeved top.

"Well?" Connie said still red with anger and embarrassment. "Well what? Rita asked still looking at the floor. "Aren't you going to apologise for what you did in there? ". This time Rita looked up but didn't say anything. "You undermined me in front of the nurses and I will not have it." She had risen from her chair and was practically shouting as the blonde, " sort that uniform out as well, it is not school policy", she added as she walked towards her and tugged at the sleeve only to have Rita's hand grab her wrist and stop her pulling it up. "Don't" she said sternly through gritted teeth, looking to the floor once again. "Please" she whispered releasing her grip on the clinical leads wrist and desperately fought back tears that were threatening to spill over. She then turned and ran from the office, leaving the clinical lead in shock, and headed to the toilets with only one thing on her mind.

Chapter 2

(Trigger warning contains mentions of self-harm and alcohol)

With streaming down her face Rita burst through the toilet door, found an empty cubical and locked herself in. sliding down the wall of the cubical she pulled IT out of her pocket. Her blade, her lifeline. The only thing that kept her safe. Without much more thought she pulled up her sleeve and slowly slid the blade across her arm that was already criss-crossed with new cuts and old scars. Instantly feeling the release Rita quickly cut a few more lines. They weren't deep enough to have stitches but they were deep enough to bring her back to reality. She sat there and closed her eyes, resting her head on the cubical wall, while the blood flowed out of the many cuts on her arm.

Meanwhile in her office, Connie was still stood there with the door open. God she was angry. How dare Rita talk to her like that? As she lifted her gaze her anger turned to worry for the blonde. Why did she run out? Was she crying? Connie was baffled, she couldn't think of any reason of Rita to wear long sleeves. Her worry became stronger as she remembered Rita flinching as she reached out to touch her sleeve. Then it hit her.

How could she have been so blind? Ever since Rita's husband "visited" the hospital she had started wearing long sleeves. Then Connie put it down to it being winter, but now in the middle of summer, Rita was still wearing them. A knock on her open door awoke her from her flashback. It was Tess.

"Connie is everything OK with Rita? You weren't too hard on her again were you?" Tess asked cautiously stepping into Connie's office and closing the door behind her. Connie blinked a few times before answering. "Tess have you noticed anything different about Rita recently?" she asked turning to her desk and reaching for her phone. "I don't think so she has been quieter than usual but nothing major. Why?" "No reason" Connie said quietly as she searched for the nurse manager in her contacts. Connie rang her but there was no reply." I need to find her" she said pushing past Tess on her way out.

Meanwhile Rita was walking home after quickly grabbing her things from her locker and leaving the hospital while Connie was still in her office. With her arms tightly wrapped around her and tears still streaming from her sparkling brown eyes she rushed home looking forward to the cupboard full of vodka waiting her. The night might be OK after all.