Rescued
A/N: this story was just something i put together when i was really bored and supposed to be studing for midterms, so i had fun procrastinating while writing this.
Summary: a one part song fic that is set right after Bad girls after Faith kills Finch. Faith is ready to leave but Buffy has some other plans for her.
Disclaimer: i own nothing, joss is king
song: Rescued by Jack's mannequin. really good song awesome band, check em out.
I screwed this up. That's all I really have to say. Well not really, but that is the main point of this whole charade. Things are bad, but you already knew that. I killed a man. The air was crisp with the stench of rotting garbage and decomposing shit, well not literally anyway. I was hyped up. Juiced. Staking vamps left and right. And the next thing I know B was screaming. It was only a faint noise in the background as my life came screeching to a halt. My seatbelt snapped, B snapped. The one thing holding me safe snapped. She let go and I flew through the windshield. Shattering what used to be my life into a thousand pieces. My seatbelt was gone. Or that's just what I thought.
Two to one
Static to the sound of you and I
Undone for the last time
And there this was
Hiding at the bottom of your
Swimming pool some September
And don't you think
I wish that I could stay
That's when I knew that my life was screwed up beyond repair. That was when I knew nothing could change this situation. That's when I knew that I had to leave. That's what seemed like the best idea. It was something that I have gotten good at. All I do is Fuck things up, get outta dodge and hope to hell that it never happens again. But it always does, or has so far. I'd decided to follow my head for once, instead of what every other part of my body was screaming at me. Along with a few other people. They were the people that acted like they cared. Giles, Joyce, Wes…B. They all seemed to care. But B. She was the one thing that was making it so hard to get the hell outta this mess, even she didn't know it; or just didn't believe it. She turned into the only friend I ever had. But that friendship wasn't enough.
Your lips give you away
I can hear it, a jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not to be rescued
There is nothing left to keep me here anyway, no life, that's gone. No friends, the ones I assumed I had left me. No home, you can't miss what you've never had and I've never really had one to begin with. A drunken mother in a rat hole, but never a real home with a real family or a real life. The life that I had wanted never really existed. It was just my imagination catching up with me. The one that was forced outta me by my drunk, drugged up mother. I got caught up in the act of a normal life, well as normal as it can get with slaying involved. B was caught up in it with me; we were together in the fight. She still wants to be, but this is my problem, my screw up, my decision to make. I'm leaving and B has to give up on me. I already have.
Two to none
Roads that lead away from this
I'm following myself just this once
And I got spun
It appears you're spun as well
It happens when you pay attention
This could take all year, but
I don't really care how long this takes or what happens, either way I need to get out of here. Regardless of what my heart thinks about all of this.
"God dammit Faith!" she screamed above the slight noise of the cool night air. " There is no way in hell that I'm going to let you out of this."
" B, this is the only way, I've screwed this up so bad. There's no way to stop this from catching up. At least if I go I can keep this away from you. I can keep it all away from you." While trying to reason I realized that a sound like a bad .99cent novel, yet it doesn't really matter anymore. There was no way I was going to win, at least not with my heart behind it.
When it's quiet, does she hear me?
A jettison to the
Center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not to be rescued
She's pushing too hard; I'm not pushing hard enough. There's no fire in my words. It's not in my eyes: she can see it. Its gone and never coming back, I already know it. That's what happens when your life explodes, you can't care anymore. There isn't anything else that's much worse. Except for death and right about now death seems like a pretty good option. I'd rather get it all over with instead of dealing with all the shit that's going on inside of me. Just seeing the people that are supposed to be a part of my life is tearing out my insides. Everything feels knotted up and it just wont go away. I want it gone, its that simple. My heart is pounding and it feels like I'm slowly dying. Piece by piece I'm fading away, disappearing. Leaving so slowly that the pain is antagonizing and it just wont go away. But that's all that I want. For it all to go away and from that defeated look on her face she can see it too.
And ohh-oh, I can feel her, she's dying
Just to keep me cool
I'm finally numb, so please
Don't get me rescued... rescued...
"I don't care about that, It's not the point. You screwed up but it doesn't matter, we can fix it!" She screamed to deaf ears, obviously fed up with everything I was trying to pull.
"With everything that's happened you can't seriously say that anything could change here." Faith poured openly, a few solitary tears finding their way to the corners of her eyes and gliding down her face and sneaking under her chin.
And it's unclear
But this may be my last song
Ohh-Oh, I, I can tell
She's raising hell to give to me
But she got me warm
So please don't get me rescued
"This is the end and we all know it. Game over. Faithy screwed this on up! So lets just move on!" I screamed feeling the bravado slide back into place as quickly as it had disintegrated.
"Bull shit Faith and you know it. We can fix it if you just stop all this bull shit." She's pissed and I caused it, that's all that's left in my head. I mean sure we can fix it, and red is gonna start dating girls, never gonna happen. I don't say it. My sarcasm isn't needed. I have learned something so far, just not enough. B let me slay, she let me in, she let me help. I wasn't a Scooby; I wasn't really there. This is making it even harder. I coulda, shoulda, been one of them.
And ohhh-oh, say you'll miss me (say you'll miss me) one last time
I'll be strong, but whatever you do
Please don't get me rescued...
But I'm not and I never will be, I really need to get that through my head. Impossible dreams will stay impossible dreams and screw-ups will remain screw-ups. Story of my life.
" Buffy, you can't fix it, I can't fix it, NO ONE CAN FIX IT! It's all over folks. Nothing left here so just let me make a decision by myself one god damn time."
"No I cant, not if that decision is the wrong one." My god does this girl ever quit, maybe that's why she's still alive.
"Who decides that B, cause I'm really thinking that its not you, I need to do this so leave me the hell alone.
Cause I'm feeling like
I might need to be near you
And I feel alright, so please
Don't get me rescued...
The tightness in my chest makes itself known. The pain is real and it hurts, but I can't let her know that. I've got to keep the walls up a little bit longer, and they've never let me down before. I go numb and the pain goes away; it can't hurt if you can't feel. I'm really leaving this time. Its what I always do: run away. It's just a little too late to change.
Please B, don't get me rescued.
A/N 2: ok so thats it. Please leave a review regardless of what you thought. Even if you think it sucks say so, just leave a comment all you have to do is hit that little purple button right below this plead for reviews.