"Masters, Mistresses and Monsters"
Chapter 1 "Vamp-Infested, Bloody Hell!"
[Hellsing Headquarters, Integra's Office, 8:00 p.m.]
Walter- "Sir Integra…With regards to recruiting new members of the Hellsing Organization…I've taken the liberty of hiring professional mercenaries." (Sets Integra's tea on her desk)
Integra- "Mercenaries? Men motivated by a lust for money. Can we trust such soldiers?" (Sips her cup of tea)
Walter- "Yes. They are proper professionals. And I happen to know an old friend who's a part of this band of mercenaries. As long as the Wild Geese have a contract and get their money on time…They will never break their word."
Integra- (Searches through file) *Notices a picture* *Sets her tea down, grabs the picture and looks at it* "Walter?"
Walter- "Yes, Sir Integra?"
Integra- "This woman with white/colored hair and this young girl…who are they?" (Shows him the picture)
Walter- *Smiles* "A war wolf and a fiery pyromaniac."
-{Intermission}-
[? Miles/miles/miles and miles away from London]
(Bombing noises, gun fire, and buildings on fire)
Kane/Tom- (Take cover behind a broken down wall)
Heath- "Tell those assholes they're supposed to bomb the other guys!"
Kane- (Turns around from wall) (Fires at enemy) "Inbred motherfuckers don't give a shit!" (Leans against wall again) "They got a dozen sisters at home to knock off." (Holds up machine gun)
Jason- *Whistles* "That's not bad. That works to like 2 a day if you don't count Sundays." (Wipes sweat off his face)
Pip- "Shut up, shape up and get your head back in the game!"
Kane/Tom/Jason/Heath- *Turn their heads to their Captain*
Pip- (Firing at enemy) "Zey drop the bombs on us because we don't matter! We mean nothing." (Takes cover from gunfire) "Zey blow us up and buy new ones. I zink we can all agree zat zere's no shortage of idiots willing to shoot guns for money."
(Loud bombing noises, ground shakes from bomb explosions)
Emma- (Listening to the communication radio) ~British accent~ (A/N: "She sounds like Nyu from Elfin Lied and Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket, but that's only when she's nice. She sounds like Lucy from Elfin Lied when she's mad or pissed.")"Captain Pippy! We just got word that the blokes in the palace have given up and surrendered!" *Moves headphones away from her ears*
Pip- "Zat's just pathetic..Couldn't zey at least try and put up a fight."
Dean- (Turns around, fires at enemy) "I guess that means the Civil War is over and we're out of a job!"
Pip- "Hm." *Lifts his head* "I've been working on something."
Enemy Soldier- (Peeks around corner) *Sees Pip and his small group*
Emma- *Sighs* "AH! BLOODY HELL, WHERE?" DX *Whines*
Enemy Soldier- (Moves away from wall, aims at Pip)
Pip- (About to turn around)
Lucretia- (On top of the same broken wall above Enemy Soldier) *Snarls* (Grabs the back of Enemy Soldier's neck with her half transformed hand/claws) (Lifts him in the air)
Enemy Soldier- (Drops his gun, grabs his neck) *Yells & screams* (Legs kicking in the air)
Lucretia- *Growls* (Bites his throat, rips his head off, throws the corpse and head) (Reaches into her pocket, grabs her lighter & pack of cigarettes) (Takes out a cigarette and lights it with her lighter) *Drags slowly on cigarette* *Exhales cigarette smoke* ~American accent~ (A/N: "She sounds like Revy from Black Lagoon, even though Revy is Chinese. And a bit like Maya Natsume from Tenjho Tenge the next.") "It better not be another fuckin sand trap, Pip." *Blood drips from canines & down her jaw*
Pip- *Tilts his hat up* '"Don't worry, Wolfie. Zey'll be no sand where we're going. Ze next job…It's in a city of fog."
-{Intermission}-
[2 Days later, London, in front of the Hellsing Organization building, 4:00 a.m.]
Lucretia- *Sniffs the air* "… That's just great… we get hired by people who have vampires working for them…the stench in revolting." *Mutters*
Emma- (Steps out of limo) (Walks up to Lucretia) *Whispers* "What do vampires smell like, Lucretia? Like shit?"
Lucretia- "The worst smell you can ever imagine. Vampires smell like rotten corpses and decaying flesh." *Looks down at Emma*
Emma- *Feels something lump in her throat* "I think I almost chundered." . (Leans her head onto Lucretia's shoulder)
Lucretia- (Rubs her head) "You'll feel better in a few." *Turns her head* *Sees some of the Wild Geese getting out of the limos*
Emma- "Do Pip and the others know that there are vampires hear?"
Lucretia- *Shakes her head* "They'll know sooner or later."
Emma- *Stares at the mansion* "How many vampires are there, Wolfie?"
Lucretia- *Sticks her nose in the air and sniffs* "Looks like there's…." (Sniff, sniff) "2…One scent is weak while the other… is very strong. Probably a really old vampire." ("Fuck…")
Pip- "What you 2 beauties zalkin about over zhere?" (Approaches them)
Lucretia/Emma- *Turns their heads back*
Emma- "Ello, Captain Pippy!"
Lucretia- "About how big of a perverted French pig you are." *Sticks her tongue out at him*
Pip- *Gasps* *Wide eyed* * Makes a painful look like he's been stabbed through the heart* (Puts his hand over his heart) "You zear my heart with you sharp claws, sexy loup-garou!"
Lucretia- "Shut it, Pervert!" =.= *Gives him a very dark look*
Emma- *Laughs*
-{Intermission}-
Wild Geese- (Sitting in metal chairs/standing/talking to one another)
Lucretia- *Scans room* (Wolf ears twitch, wolf tail stops wagging) ("Fuckin A… even this room smells like a fucking coffin-cheater!")
Emma- "Who do you think hired us, Wolfie?"
Lucretia- (Leans against wall, goes into her leather pants pocket) (Takes out her lighter, lights cigarette that's hanging out of her mouth) (Places lighter back into pocket) *Drags on cigarette, exhales smoke* "Well… it has to be someone who hunts bastards with coffin breath and has them serve them, Mistress."
Emma- "Lucretia! I've told you over and over! You don't have to call me Mistress!"
Lucretia- "But-."
Emma- "No but! Just call me Emma or Pyro. Kay?"
Lucretia- *Gives Emma a motherly smile* "Alright, Mist-Emma." (One of the wolf ears bends down, while the other stays up)
Emma- *Glances out window* "…My nerves are burnt..I wanna take a kip." (Touches her forehead to the cold glass, window becomes foggy) (Steam appears above her head)
Lucretia- (Taps cigarette ash onto floor) "So do I…I hate being in this room. Besides that it smells like a cemetery…it makes me feel like I'm a circus animal in a cage. And I'm getting a bitchin headache." *Sighs* "…shit…" *Drags on cigarette, exhales cigarette smoke*
Emma- "Aw, poor Wolfie." ^.^ (Moves away from glass, scratches her left wolf ear)
Lucretia- *Purrs*
Emma- XP (Spots 2 empty chairs in the front of the room) (Stops scratching Lucretia's wolf ear) "Let's go sit down before you decide to chunder on me…And I really don't want werewolf chunder in my hair or on my uniform!" (Pushes Lucretia towards the empty chairs) "Come on, Wolfie!"
Lucretia- *Growls* (Wolf ears bend back) ("Why in the front…?")
Emma- "Don't you dare growl at me!"(Lightly smacks Lucretia on the head) "Bad wolf bad!"
Lucretia/Emma- (Sit down in metal chairs)
Lucretia- *Turns her heard around, looks in the back, sees Pip with 3 of his mercenaries* "Looks like Captain Bernadette is chattin with his 'boy scouts' back there."
Emma- *Turns her head too, looks in the same direction Lucretia's looking*
Pip- *Glances over his shoulder, sees Lucretia & Emma staring at him* (Turns back around to his 'boy scouts') *Starts whispering to them*
Lucretia- "I'm getting a feelin Pip is sayin perverted shit about me over there…" *Drags on her cigarette*
Emma- "Are you gonna go over there and kick his arse?"
Lucretia- *Shakes her head* "Mmmm." *Exhales smoke* "I'll get him later."
Emma- "Lucretia, bring out 'The List'." (Turns back around)
Lucretia- (Pulls out a piece of paper out of her back pocket) (Unfolds piece of paper) "What number, Pyro?"
Emma- *Thinks* "Uuuummmm….give me number….." (Puts index finger to lip, nibbles on her finger)
Lucretia- "What number?" (Scratches her head)
Emma- "35!" ^.^
Lucretia- *Searches for the number on the piece of paper* "'Hooray for mental break downs!'" *Laughs*
Emma- *Laughs too*
Lucretia- "Yer a maniac."
Emma- *Pouts* "You're a bloody psycho."
Lucretia- *Laughs louder X3* "You got that right. Come on. It was-…" *Nose twitches* *Sniff, sniff* (Wolf ears perk up and twitch) *Hears door handle start to click open*
Emma- "Hon, your tail and ears." DX
Lucretia- *Closes eyes, breaths in* (Wolf ears and wolf tail start to turn into white smoke) (Human ears appear in their place) (Nails and canines grow normal)
Emma- (Fans smoke away with her hands) "What about your eyes?"
Lucretia- "They'll just think I have colored contacts on." (Takes out a small metal cigarette case, opens it, extinguishes cigarette in it, closes case, places it back into her pants pocket, along with 'The List')
(Door opens, 2 female figures walk into the room)
Emma- "Whoa...her eyes are cold ice blue…" (Points to the woman in a suit) ("She… kinda looks manly in a suit.")
Lucretia- (Fiddles with her WW1 army dog tags necklace) (Sees a small silver cross pinned to the woman's tie) (Stiffens, stops playing with her dog tags) *slightly growls* ("Note to self: …Stay away from Silver Lady.") "I slightly don't like her." (Looks at the other girl standing next to Silver Lady) O.o "Whoa."
Emma- (Looks too) *Wide eyed* O.o "Her fun bags are almost as big as yours!"
Lucretia- "Don't talk about my puppies." (Pinches Emma's arm)
Emma- "OW!...They are!" (Rubs arm)
Lucretia- "The men are gonna be chasing her tail around." *Looks down at her own chest* (Picks a piece of fuzz off her leather jacket) (Flings it to the floor)
Emma- "Uh-huh…Remember they did that to you?"
Lucretia- "Yup. She has everything a horny bastard wants. Big boobs, nice ass, what kind of guy couldn't resist that?" (Points with her index finger)
Emma- "I know Pip can't."
Lucretia- "Ew…" *Shutters* "Pip's like what…in his late 20's? She looks like she's about 18 years old. The same age as you." (Nudges Emma)
Emma- "EWWIE!" *Shakes head* "Shut uuuuup, you bloody sick!" _
Lucretia- *Laughs* *Shifts her gaze back to Big Boob Girl* *Growls* *Sniff, sniff* ("She's the one with the weak scent… she's a low level vampire… probably a fledgling. Then the stronger scent must be her Master.")
Integra- =.= *Sighs*
Seras- ._. "Mm."
Integra- *Scans room* *Sees Lucretia and Emma* ("There they are.")
Emma- "I think she has a staring problem." *Turns head to Lucretia*
Lucretia- "She's top bitch around here." (Plays with one of the colored beads in her hair)
Emma- "Maybe she needs to go to a funny farm?...How long were you there, Wolfie?"
Lucretia- "Yer asking me how long I was in an asylum?"
Emma- "I command you to tell meh." *Makes a very serious face then giggles*
Lucretia- "Well.. I was there for about 5 years…right after WW1." (Crosses her arms under her chest)
Emma- "Whooooaaaa…your old. I just realized that."
Lucretia- "That's not very nice." _ (Ruffles up Emma's hair)
Emma- "Ahhhhhhhhh! Stop it!" *Whines* (Fixes hair) "Hey, sometimes I'm a meanie British, and then sometimes I'm a British goof ball the next." *Smiles ^_^*
Lucretia- "So true." *Laughs*
Emma- *Sticks tongue out at Lucretia XP*
Integra- *Scans the rest of the room* "Will you all sit down."
Wild Geese- (Ignore Integra, continue to talk)
Lucretia- *Snickers*
Integra- *Frowns*
Seras- *Gulps*
Integra- "…." *Breaths in* "I SAID-!"
Lucretia- =.= (Turns around in her seat) "HEY! DID'NT YOU HEAR THE LADY! SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *Eyes glow bright pink/gold* *Canines grow long once again and stick out of lips*
Wild Geese- (Stop what they're doing) O.O *Wide eyed* (Quickly sit down, while silently apologizing)
Pip- (Walks over to Lucretia and sits down next to her on her left) *Doesn't look at her*
(Room is dead silent)
Emma- ("Go Lucretia.") O.0
Lucretia- *Chuckles* *Eyes stop glowing, canines turn back into human teeth* (Turns around, faces Integra) "There you go, Silver Lady."
Seras- O.O ("She's a bit scary… she could actually be scarier than Integra when she's yelling at Master.")
Integra- "Uh..thank you." *Blinks* ("She controls them as if they were her pack.")
Lucretia- *Gives Integra a big wolf smile* "Yer welcome."
Integra- *Clears her throat* "My name is Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. I am the head of this top secret organization. You all are to refer to me as Sir Integra."
Wild Geese- *Nod*
Emma- "…Hellsing?" *Turns her head to Lucretia* O.O ("Lucretia?") (Pokes her right cheek)
Lucretia- O.o "…." ("I just …helped out a…. Hellsing….she's part of a clan of vampire hunters…FUCK!")
Integra- "You are all here to kill a specific type of monster. Your enemy is a vampire…who gains immortality by drinking human blood. Your job is to fight theses monster with bullets, garlic, and holy water…put a stake through its heart, cut off its head and burn the corpse, scatter the ashes at a cross road. For further instructions consult Bram Stoker."
Wild Geese- (Start to mumble to one another)
Benny- "She must be barmy…vampires."
Seann- "I dunno, think about it. We do have Pyro and Wolfie…and they aren't human…"
Vin- "This is ridiculous."
Integra- *Smirks* "Emma P. Roseheart and Lucretia D. Wolfshade."
Emma- "Um…uh wha?"
Lucretia- "Hm?"
Integra- "Please stand and come forward."
Emma/Lucretia- (Stand, and walk to stand in front of Integra)
Pip- *Lifts his eyebrow* ("What ze hell…?")
Integra- "I know that you two aren't human."
Emma- (Plays with a strand of her hair)
Lucretia- *Stares Integra in the eye* "Who the fuck told you?" =.=
Integra- "…An old friend of yours told me."
Lucretia- *Confused* "…an old friend of mine?" *Tilts her head to the side*
Integra- *Nods* "Yes. He was the one who informed me of your group of mercenaries…and how you're not human."
Wild Geese/Pip- *Listening carefully*
Integra- *Glances down at Emma* "A teenage girl with the ability to manipulate fire…with some traits of a mythical bird called a phoenix."
Emma- *Sticks her tongue out at Integra XP*
Integra- "And… a werewolf that serves that same phoenix. I thought all your kind were extinct." *Turns her head to Lucretia*
Lucretia- *Similes a wicked smile at Integra* "Hmmm…smart for a human." (White smoke appears on top of her head and lower back)
Integra- "…"
Seras- *Gasps* ("She's… really a…")
Lucretia- (Wolf ears reappear on her head, wolf tail swishes down her lower back) (Canines grow long and her claws grow sharp) "You wouldn't mind if I'm partly formed?" (Stretches, wolf tail swishes back and forth)
Integra- "I don't mind. But when you're around other humans, besides my men and yours, I expect you to be in full HUMAN form."
Lucretia- (Salutes Integra) "Yes, Sir. Now, who the fuck was it that told you about us-?"
(Door opens)
Everyone- *Look at the figure that just entered the room*
Emma- "A…butler? He's a geezer."
Lucretia- "It can't be…" (Walks up to the butler) *Sniffs him* ("His scent…")
Walter- "Hello, Miss Wolfshade… it has been about 53 years hasn't it?"
Lucretia- (Mouth hangs open) (Wolf ears perk up, wolf tail wags) "WALTER!" (Glomps him)
Walter- "Uff!" (Falls to floor)
Wild Geese/Pip/Emma- O.o
Seras/Integra- O.O
Lucretia- "OMFG! Walter…sorry!" (Gets off him)
Walter- *Groans* "It is… alright." (Tries to get up)
Lucretia- (Helps him up to his feet)
Walter- "I think I'm beginning to feel my age."
Lucretia- "Nonsense! You still look young!" *Laughs*
Emma- "Um…uh…ummm…Lucretia?" O.o *Confused* "Why did you glomp the geezer?"
Lucretia- "Oh..yeah! Walter this is my Mistress Emma Roseheart, Mistress Emma Roseheart this is Walter Dornez."*Smiles with her upper canines hanging out of her lips*
Walter- "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Roseheart." (Shakes Emma's hand)
Emma- "Ello." ^.^ *Smiles* "Wolfie when did you first meet Walter?"
Lucretia- "Somewhere around the time of WW2."
Emma- O.O "Wooooow! Your old! Your both bloody old!"
Walter- "Ah, but Lucretia is much older."
Emma- "Yup." *Nods* "So true."
Lucretia- "So..uh Walter?"
Walter- "Yes?"
Lucretia- "Why is this mansion vamp-infested if were supposed to be killing them?" (Points to Seras)
Wild Geese/Pip- *Gasp!* O.O "WHAT!" *Stare at Seras*
Seras- *Gulps* "Um…uh..hello." *Gives them a weak smile*
Pip- (Stands up from his seat, walks up to Seras) *Stares down at her*
Seras- . _ . "Um, hello."
Pip- "Wolfie, she really a vampire?" *Turns his head*
Lucretia- *Growls* "Yes."
Pip- *Turns his attention back to Seras* "You're a vampire?"
Seras- "Um..yeah. Something of the sort…"
Wild Geese/Pip- *Lol*
Integra- (Walks over to Seras)
Seras- "I knew they'd laugh at me…"
Integra- "And laugh they do."
Lucretia- (Covers half of her face with her right hand) (Places her right hand on her hip) "Fuckin tweekers…" *Mumbles*
Emma- *Embarrassed, laughs weakly*
Walter- *Shakes his head*
Seras- *Whispers into Integra's ear* "Shouldn't Master be here with me?"
Integra- *Shakes head* "No. He wouldn't rest until they were all dead. And he would try to kill the werewolf as well. Plus I think she would do the same to him."
Seras- "Oh..yea. I think she would-."
Lucretia- "Hey, Vampy-Girl!"
Seras- "Uh..yes!"
Lucretia- "You should probably show them some proof that you're a vampire. Open up their human eyes for them…a little."
Seras- "Um..ro-roger!" (Salutes her, turns to Pip) (Snaps her finger) "Come on."
Pip- *Continues to laugh hard* "If…if…if you're a vampire…Then I'm Frankenstein's monster!-"
Seras- (Flicks him in the face) . "Tou!"
Pip-(Blood comes out of nose, mouth and eye) *Breathing hard* "GAH!"
Seras- (Flicks him with her other hand) "Tou."
Pip- (Flies across room to the Wild Geese in their seats)
Wild Geese- *Gasp!*
Zack- "Captain!"
Pip- "She's some kind of monster." (Slowly sits up from his spot on the floor) "She kept poking me with the-it happen so fast, my head was just… I don't believe it Lucretia. Are you tellin me that this girl is a vampire?"
Lucretia- "Like I-." (Tenses up) *Sniff, sniff* ("That God awful stench…its stronger now…")
(Maniacal laughter fills room)