Please Note:
a) This is my first fic. Please Review but be kind.
b) These characters are not mine. I borrowed them from Grey's Anatomy.
c) I also borrowed a lot of the plot for first couple chapters from Grey's Anatomy.
d) I don't like too much exposition. If you're reading this I assume you have some knowledge of Grey's characters' histories.
e) I'm not going to get into stuff from the show if it's not important to this story ie. Alex's residual Izzie feelings. I'm trying to keep it simple.
Chapter One: The Crowning Pinnacle of Stupidities
"Stupid. Stupid. And in front of all those people. Anyone might have seen." Lying awake in her bed Addison marveled at her own idiocy. What on earth had possessed her? He was Alex Karev. It was... stupid.
He was he intern, her subordinate. It was completely inappropriate. Was she really so lonely that the first person who said something nice to her... God, she hoped not. Ever since her divorce she had been feeling a little desperate for human companionship. Still, that wasn't enough to make her do what she'd done, and at a bar, in front of dozens of people. Was it? She couldn't help considering that there was something more to it. Now that she was alone she could think about it logically but when she was around him she seemed to loose her capacity for rational thought. Instead she got this feeling, this subtle feeling that had been going barely noticed for the weeks that they had been working together. Barely noticed that is, until her ridiculous outburst a week ago.
"Your a decent person, Alex. I'd hate to see Mark Sloan beat it out ot you." Why had she said that? She was Dr. Addison Montgomery. She didn't say things like that to interns let alone mediocre interns like Karev. But she had said it and since then she hadn't been able to stop thinking about that feeling. It was like a sense of dread, of apprehension. It was almost like a premonition, a premonition that she was about to do something incredibly... stupid.
Addison sighed. Thinking about all this was driving her crazy. She could tell she was not going to get much sleep tonight, knew that once she got going like this she would lie awake thinking for hours. "Why did I say that? Why did I say that?" Of course the "decent person" speech wasn't the worst of it. There was also the incident in the nursery and... She stopped herself. She didn't even want to think about what had happened tonight. But the nursery she couldn't get out of her head. She couldn't get over how... stupid she had been all because of six simple words.
"Because he was rude to you." It had been so unexpected. She was paralyzed by it, felt her breath catch in her throat. All she could think was what am I supposed to say? But she couldn't move, couldn't breath and his face seemed so close to hers. When she looked into his eyes she was even less prepared for what she saw there: tenderness, longing even but no fear. He didn't seem embarrassed. She was terrified. This was her intern and he was looking at her like... like... Then they were both leaning in and... the door to the nursery slammed open startling them. She found herself apologizing profusely, felt ridiculous, flustered, couldn't stop saying,
"I'm sorry."
He seemed shaken too and fled the room leaving her dizzy and confused. Had she actually wanted to kiss him? Where was her self control? The last thing she needed right now was to be kissing interns. She told herself to get a grip, to forget about it but, although their lips had not actually met, she could still feel his breath on her face and wondered what might have happened if they hadn't been interrupted. All she was certain of was that she had been the first to pull away. At least there was that. She was his superior. It was her responsibility to draw the line, to make it clear that it couldn't happen again.
"Draw the line," Addison thought wryly and glanced at her alarm clock. She was dismayed to see that it was already 4: 20 in the morning. "Did I draw the line tonight at the bar?" No she had not drawn the line.
Instead she had kissed him. The crowning pinnacle of stupidities. The stupid cherry on the colossal ice-cream sundae of stupidness that was her stupid, stupid life. She had kissed her intern, despite the speeches she had made about maintaining professionalism. She had assured him that the incident in the nursery had been entirely her fault although he seemed skeptical of that. She had promised him that it would not happen again and then she had kissed him.
Addison sighed and rolled over in bed. "Stupid. Stupid. And in front of all those people. Anyone might have seen." She was right back where she had started. It was going to be a very long night.